Never Mind the Buzzcocks Quote

Simon: Before we start, I'd like to address something. Like all of you, I am deeply upset and probably traumatized by the bad language infecting television today. And I can't sit here any longer and let this potty mouth culture contaminate the nation. There was a time when we didn't rely on disgusting and offensive language. For example...[pulls out his kitten, Toby, to the amusement of the audience]...take this innocent...[pauses to let the crowd laugh]...yeah. Take this innocent, and naive kitten. He's called Toby. He's only 10 weeks old, and he likes being tickled on the tummy. [tickles kitten] Just like that. And if any of our guests swear tonight, I am going to have murder Toby! [lets crowd laugh while he places Toby under the desk while Phil makes a face] It's for the best. And firmly biting his tongue for the good of the nation tonight, it's our guest captain, ITV filth monger, Dermot O'Leary! [applause]

TV Show: Never Mind the Buzzcocks

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