Penguins of Madagascar Quotes
Dave: Charlize, they're on the ray! Helen, hunt them down! William, hurt them! Halle, bury them! Hugh! Jack! Man the battle stations! Kevin! Bake on! We're still going to need that victory cake!
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Private: Hello! Are you my family? [the three penguins turn, knowing that they're far away from land, and nod to each other before turning back to face Private]
Kowalski: You don't have a family, and we're all going to die. Sorry.
Private: W-What? [Skipper elbows Kowalski]
Kowalski: What? I thought that was what we were all nodding about.
Skipper: [hits Kowalski]No one's gonna die. [to Private]
Skipper: You know what you got, kid? You've got us. We've got each other. And if that ain't a family, I don't know what is. [salutes Private, who salutes back]
Skipper: [tussles Private's head]So adorable. [to Kowalski]
Skipper: Kowalski, what's our trajectory?
Kowalski: Ninety-five percent certain we're still doomed.
Skipper: And the, uh... other five percent?
Kowalski: Adventure and glory like no penguins have ever seen before.
Skipper: I'll take that action.
Private: Where are going?
Skipper: The future, boys. The glorious future.
Kowalski: You don't have a family, and we're all going to die. Sorry.
Private: W-What? [Skipper elbows Kowalski]
Kowalski: What? I thought that was what we were all nodding about.
Skipper: [hits Kowalski]No one's gonna die. [to Private]
Skipper: You know what you got, kid? You've got us. We've got each other. And if that ain't a family, I don't know what is. [salutes Private, who salutes back]
Skipper: [tussles Private's head]So adorable. [to Kowalski]
Skipper: Kowalski, what's our trajectory?
Kowalski: Ninety-five percent certain we're still doomed.
Skipper: And the, uh... other five percent?
Kowalski: Adventure and glory like no penguins have ever seen before.
Skipper: I'll take that action.
Private: Where are going?
Skipper: The future, boys. The glorious future.
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Skipper: Debbie!
Kowalski: Dave.
Skipper: Dave!
Corporal: He hacked into our system. [There's no sound onscreen as Dave speaks]
Eva: Where's the sound?
Kowalski: Dave, your microphone, it's not on.
Classified: Click on the button with the picture of the microphone.
Short Fuse: Every time a villain calls in, this happens.
Dave: Hello? [the screen goes off]
Dave: Hello?
Kowalski: But, now we can hear you.
Short Fuse: So annoying!
Kowalski: But we cannot see.
Short Fuse: Every time!
Classified: It's like talking to my parents.
Kowalski: Dave.
Skipper: Dave!
Corporal: He hacked into our system. [There's no sound onscreen as Dave speaks]
Eva: Where's the sound?
Kowalski: Dave, your microphone, it's not on.
Classified: Click on the button with the picture of the microphone.
Short Fuse: Every time a villain calls in, this happens.
Dave: Hello? [the screen goes off]
Dave: Hello?
Kowalski: But, now we can hear you.
Short Fuse: So annoying!
Kowalski: But we cannot see.
Short Fuse: Every time!
Classified: It's like talking to my parents.
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Skipper: Follow me, boys! We're going in hot!
Private: [as his butt goes on fire]Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
Skipper: No one likes a show off, Private.
Private: [as his butt goes on fire]Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!
Skipper: No one likes a show off, Private.
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Skipper: Leopard seals! Nature's snakes.
Kowalski: Aren't snakes nature's snakes?
Skipper: How should I know? I live on a flippin' frozen tundra!
Kowalski: Aren't snakes nature's snakes?
Skipper: How should I know? I live on a flippin' frozen tundra!
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Classified: Remain calm, penguins. You're now under the protection of the North Wind.
Skipper: Private, dibble me. [Private takes a dibble bag out of Rico's body, gives it to Skipper, then he jumps in front of Classified]
Skipper: We're not going anywhere with you. [munches]
Skipper: We don't even know who the heck you are.
Classified: The North Wind is an elite undercover inter-spe... [Skipper munches]
Classified: an elite undercover inter-species... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: task for... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: force... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: dedicated to help... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: to help... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: dedicated to... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: dedicated to helping animals who can't [Skipper munches again]
Classified: help [Skipper munches again]
Classified: themselves. [Skipper munches again for the last time, then Classified growls]
Skipper: Private, dibble me. [Private takes a dibble bag out of Rico's body, gives it to Skipper, then he jumps in front of Classified]
Skipper: We're not going anywhere with you. [munches]
Skipper: We don't even know who the heck you are.
Classified: The North Wind is an elite undercover inter-spe... [Skipper munches]
Classified: an elite undercover inter-species... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: task for... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: force... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: dedicated to help... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: to help... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: dedicated to... [Skipper munches again]
Classified: dedicated to helping animals who can't [Skipper munches again]
Classified: help [Skipper munches again]
Classified: themselves. [Skipper munches again for the last time, then Classified growls]
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Classified: Short Fuse, you were supposed to handcuff them to the raft!
Short Fuse: I tried, but they don't have hands, they just have flippers, Boss! And I have flippers. So it's flipping useless!
Short Fuse: I tried, but they don't have hands, they just have flippers, Boss! And I have flippers. So it's flipping useless!
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Skipper: Alright, you! Where's Dave? [repeatedly slaps a baby squid]
Skipper: Give us the goods.
Kowalski: Sir, that's a baby squid. [the baby squid starts crying, then Skipper puts the baby squid down]
Skipper: Sorry, laddie.
Skipper: Give us the goods.
Kowalski: Sir, that's a baby squid. [the baby squid starts crying, then Skipper puts the baby squid down]
Skipper: Sorry, laddie.
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Skipper: You're up, Private. [Private comes out behind a Wet Floor sign, dressed as a mermaid]
Skipper: You just mermaid my day.
Skipper: You just mermaid my day.
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Kowalski: Sir, how long do we stand here like this?
Skipper: Until we reach maximum coolness. [Beat]
Skipper: There it is.
Skipper: Until we reach maximum coolness. [Beat]
Skipper: There it is.
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
[They've arrived in Shanghai] Kowalski: We've arrived in the center of Dublin, Ireland.
Skipper: We gotta blend in. River dance. [They start river dancing]
Skipper: We gotta blend in. River dance. [They start river dancing]
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Documentary Filmmaker: Antarctica, an inhospitable wasteland, but even here, on the Earth's frozen bottom, we find life. And not just any life: penguins. Joyous, frolicking, waddling, cute and cuddly life. Look at them, tumbling onto their chubby bum bums. Who could take these frisky snow-clowns... [as the older penguins almost fall on baby Skipper, Rico, and Kowalski, they quickly move out of the way]
Skipper: Seriously? Does anyone even know where we're marching to?
Antarctic Penguin: Who cares?
Antarctic Penguin: I question nothing.
Antarctic Penguin: Me too.
Antarctic Penguin: Me too.
Skipper: Well, fine. We'll just fly to the front of the line and see for ourselves. Kowalski, Rico, engage aerial surveillance. [they flap their wings but cannot fly]
Kowalski: Skipper, we appears to be flightless.
Skipper: [looks at his wings]Oh, well what's the point of these? [Rico seems to have an idea. He hits Skipper's wing in some sort of high five]
Skipper: Woah, I like it! Hey, this could be our thing! What're we going to call it? Let's call it the, uh... high one.
Skipper: Seriously? Does anyone even know where we're marching to?
Antarctic Penguin: Who cares?
Antarctic Penguin: I question nothing.
Antarctic Penguin: Me too.
Antarctic Penguin: Me too.
Skipper: Well, fine. We'll just fly to the front of the line and see for ourselves. Kowalski, Rico, engage aerial surveillance. [they flap their wings but cannot fly]
Kowalski: Skipper, we appears to be flightless.
Skipper: [looks at his wings]Oh, well what's the point of these? [Rico seems to have an idea. He hits Skipper's wing in some sort of high five]
Skipper: Woah, I like it! Hey, this could be our thing! What're we going to call it? Let's call it the, uh... high one.
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Private: Skipper wouldn't care. Plan or no! Fancy equipment or no! He'd never leave a man behind!
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
[the penguins have just blown up an old ship] Skipper: Kowalski, analysis?
Kowalski: We are really... awesome at this!
Skipper: Boys, we did it! Mission accomplished! Hey, we could do our thing! High one! [They all high five, until Skipper accidentally hits the egg they saved]
Skipper: Ooh. My bad. [the penguins all look in awe as the egg is about to hatch]
Skipper: Look! It's the miracle of birth.
Kowalski: A moment of extraordinary beauty. [Suddenly, Private's egg explodes open, much to the disgust of the three penguins]
Skipper: Daaagh! That's disgusting! I think I have amniotic sac in my mouth!
Kowalski: We are really... awesome at this!
Skipper: Boys, we did it! Mission accomplished! Hey, we could do our thing! High one! [They all high five, until Skipper accidentally hits the egg they saved]
Skipper: Ooh. My bad. [the penguins all look in awe as the egg is about to hatch]
Skipper: Look! It's the miracle of birth.
Kowalski: A moment of extraordinary beauty. [Suddenly, Private's egg explodes open, much to the disgust of the three penguins]
Skipper: Daaagh! That's disgusting! I think I have amniotic sac in my mouth!
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
[the Penguins are dressed as German folk musicians] Skipper: We take this shame to our graves.
Kowalski: Agreed. [slap dance starts]
Kowalski: Agreed. [slap dance starts]
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Private: So... how do I look?
Kowalski: You're hideously disfigured and will probably be hunted for sport.
Private: What? [Skipper elbows Kowalski]
Kowalski: What?
Skipper: If there's anything we've learned from this delightful adventure, KOWALSKI, it's that looks don't matter. It's what you do that counts. [overwhelmed with emotion]
Skipper: And look at what you did. [the penguins from different countries look at Private, to his delight. Baby penguins pop out from behind parent penguins]
Skipper: Yes, sir. You are the most meaningful and valued member of this team. [Private salutes Skipper, who salutes back. Kowalski and Rico salute as well. Skipper does Private's salute by crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. Private did the same and laughs. All the penguins and the North Wind cheer for Private]
Kowalski: You're hideously disfigured and will probably be hunted for sport.
Private: What? [Skipper elbows Kowalski]
Kowalski: What?
Skipper: If there's anything we've learned from this delightful adventure, KOWALSKI, it's that looks don't matter. It's what you do that counts. [overwhelmed with emotion]
Skipper: And look at what you did. [the penguins from different countries look at Private, to his delight. Baby penguins pop out from behind parent penguins]
Skipper: Yes, sir. You are the most meaningful and valued member of this team. [Private salutes Skipper, who salutes back. Kowalski and Rico salute as well. Skipper does Private's salute by crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. Private did the same and laughs. All the penguins and the North Wind cheer for Private]
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Classified: What is that? [they see numerous painful weapons as they are going to be killed on the ride]
Classified: Oh, great.
Short Fuse: Oh, no! This it it!
Corporal: I don't wanna die, I'm squishy! [before they are killed by one of the weapons, the ride stops and goes reverse to see Private knocked out the squid controlling the ride]
Classified: OH NO, WE'RE DEAD! DEAD! DEAAAAAAAAAAD!
Private: [to the North Wind team]I pushed a button!
Classified: Oh, great.
Short Fuse: Oh, no! This it it!
Corporal: I don't wanna die, I'm squishy! [before they are killed by one of the weapons, the ride stops and goes reverse to see Private knocked out the squid controlling the ride]
Classified: OH NO, WE'RE DEAD! DEAD! DEAAAAAAAAAAD!
Private: [to the North Wind team]I pushed a button!
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Dave: The only thing that has kept me going all these years is my BURNING thirst for revenge... [Skipper and Kowalski are confused]
Dave: ...and my precious souvenir snow globe collection. [sees Rico swallowing all of his snow globes]
Dave: [groans]What is WRONG with you?
Rico: [mumbles]I dunno.
Dave: ...and my precious souvenir snow globe collection. [sees Rico swallowing all of his snow globes]
Dave: [groans]What is WRONG with you?
Rico: [mumbles]I dunno.
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Dave: [holding a microphone]I'M HAPPY! And yet... [realizes his revenge succeeded]
Dave: Now, that I have my revenge, I feel... empty. As if, what I needed all along was... MORE REVENGE! In fact, Robin, write this down. Tomorrow, we move on: Kittens, then Puppies, Bunnies, Pandas... [he sees the Penguins' using his ray, gasping, then is angry]
Dave: [talking to his minions on the microphone]Charlize, they're on the ray! [he runs and rips off his human disguise]
Dave: Helen, hunt them down! William, hurt them! Halle, bury them! Hugh! Jack! Man the battle stations! Kevin! Bake on! We're still going to need that victory cake!
Dave: Now, that I have my revenge, I feel... empty. As if, what I needed all along was... MORE REVENGE! In fact, Robin, write this down. Tomorrow, we move on: Kittens, then Puppies, Bunnies, Pandas... [he sees the Penguins' using his ray, gasping, then is angry]
Dave: [talking to his minions on the microphone]Charlize, they're on the ray! [he runs and rips off his human disguise]
Dave: Helen, hunt them down! William, hurt them! Halle, bury them! Hugh! Jack! Man the battle stations! Kevin! Bake on! We're still going to need that victory cake!
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Classified: Just tell me everything you know.
Skipper: All right! [Inaudible word]
Skipper: Never trust a Dutchman in a tulip fight.
Classified: [taking notes]Tulip fight...
Skipper: Canada is secretly training an army of Sasquatch.
Classified: Sasquatch...
Skipper: Hot dogs are, in fact, only 17 actual dog.
Classified: [exasperated]Not everything-everything! Everything regarding your abduction by Dr. Octavius Brine...
Skipper: Aaaah! Why didn't you say so?
Skipper: All right! [Inaudible word]
Skipper: Never trust a Dutchman in a tulip fight.
Classified: [taking notes]Tulip fight...
Skipper: Canada is secretly training an army of Sasquatch.
Classified: Sasquatch...
Skipper: Hot dogs are, in fact, only 17 actual dog.
Classified: [exasperated]Not everything-everything! Everything regarding your abduction by Dr. Octavius Brine...
Skipper: Aaaah! Why didn't you say so?
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Classified: We are the North Wind, and no one, NO ONE, breaks the Wind.
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
[as Dave prepares to use his ray on Private] Kowalski: You're the monster!
Dave: [angrily]Yes! I'm the monster. Everyone made that clear to me every day in my entire life. But now, let's see how much everyone loves YOU when YOU'RE the monster!
Dave: [angrily]Yes! I'm the monster. Everyone made that clear to me every day in my entire life. But now, let's see how much everyone loves YOU when YOU'RE the monster!
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Skipper: [after waking up from being tranquilized]What did North Wind do to us?
Private: [Turns around and shows the dart stuck in his back]They gave us badges!
Skipper: [Snatches the dart from his own shoulder]No, not badges... Tranquilizer darts! [Looks around and realizes they're in a plane]
Skipper: Classified. That low-down, dirty dog is trying to kick us off the mission!
Kowalski: He thinks we can't do anything because we're just [makes quotation marks with his flippers]
Kowalski: penguins.
Skipper: Well, penguins are our flesh and feathers! They're US! And if anyone's going to save us, it's us.
Kowalski: But sir, we've got to be five miles up. That pretty much limits our options.
Skipper: I MAKE MY OWN OPTIONS. [Punches the button closest to him, which opens the cargo hatch]
Private: [Turns around and shows the dart stuck in his back]They gave us badges!
Skipper: [Snatches the dart from his own shoulder]No, not badges... Tranquilizer darts! [Looks around and realizes they're in a plane]
Skipper: Classified. That low-down, dirty dog is trying to kick us off the mission!
Kowalski: He thinks we can't do anything because we're just [makes quotation marks with his flippers]
Kowalski: penguins.
Skipper: Well, penguins are our flesh and feathers! They're US! And if anyone's going to save us, it's us.
Kowalski: But sir, we've got to be five miles up. That pretty much limits our options.
Skipper: I MAKE MY OWN OPTIONS. [Punches the button closest to him, which opens the cargo hatch]
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
[when Dave breaks in his own ray to get Private] Private: Hi-ya! [punches Dave in the face with his butt-hand]
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Skipper: [Dave drops from the ceiling in human disguise]Who are you?
Dave: The humans know me as Doctor Octavius Brine, renowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives... but you know me by a different, much older name. A name perhaps you hoped you'd never hear again. A PHANTOM! A shadow of a former life! I... AM... [rips off disguise, but wig remains on his head]
Dave: Dave!
Skipper: [Whispers]Kowalski?
Kowalski: [Whispers back]Sorry, sir, no clue.
Dave: [Looks up, sees the wig on his head, and pulls it off]Dave!
Skipper: Dave?
Kowalski: Dave...?
Dave: Dave!
Private: [Smiles]Dave!
Dave: [Annoyed]DA-VUH!
Rico: [Rolls his eyes]Bleh.
Dave: The humans know me as Doctor Octavius Brine, renowned geneticist, cheese enthusiast, and frequent donor to NPR pledge drives... but you know me by a different, much older name. A name perhaps you hoped you'd never hear again. A PHANTOM! A shadow of a former life! I... AM... [rips off disguise, but wig remains on his head]
Dave: Dave!
Skipper: [Whispers]Kowalski?
Kowalski: [Whispers back]Sorry, sir, no clue.
Dave: [Looks up, sees the wig on his head, and pulls it off]Dave!
Skipper: Dave?
Kowalski: Dave...?
Dave: Dave!
Private: [Smiles]Dave!
Dave: [Annoyed]DA-VUH!
Rico: [Rolls his eyes]Bleh.
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
[after the battle, Dave is revealed made cute by the ray, shrunk and trapped inside a snow globe] Dave: What? Are you kidding me? [the snow globe falls from the duct tape, Skipper catches him]
Skipper: Dave. Oh-ho, look at you.
Dave: You think this is over? I'm just getting started! I'm about...
Kowalski: What do we do with him now? [Rico attempts to swallow the snow globe, but Skipper pulls it away]
Girl with Snow Globe: Aww...
Dave: [to the Penguins]Open this right now!
Skipper: Here you go, kid. [Skipper tosses the snow globe to the girl, Dave looks at her]
Girl with Snow Globe: Cool. [the girl sets a finger on the snow globe's glass. Dave puts a tentacle in the same spot and smiles]
Skipper: I hope you find happiness, Dave. [the girl begins to shake the snow globe hard]
Girl with Snow Globe: It's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing! [She runs off shaking the snow globe with Dave whimpering, much to the surprise of the Penguins and the North Wind]
Skipper: Dave. Oh-ho, look at you.
Dave: You think this is over? I'm just getting started! I'm about...
Kowalski: What do we do with him now? [Rico attempts to swallow the snow globe, but Skipper pulls it away]
Girl with Snow Globe: Aww...
Dave: [to the Penguins]Open this right now!
Skipper: Here you go, kid. [Skipper tosses the snow globe to the girl, Dave looks at her]
Girl with Snow Globe: Cool. [the girl sets a finger on the snow globe's glass. Dave puts a tentacle in the same spot and smiles]
Skipper: I hope you find happiness, Dave. [the girl begins to shake the snow globe hard]
Girl with Snow Globe: It's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing, it's snowing! [She runs off shaking the snow globe with Dave whimpering, much to the surprise of the Penguins and the North Wind]
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar
Classified: What you, of course, could not know is that Dr. Brine's laboratory in Venice is secretly developing a doomsday weapon called: the Medusa Serum.
Skipper: Ah! But what you don't know is that Dirk...
Kowalski: Dave.
Skipper: Dave, wont be using his Bazooka Serum...
Kowalski: Medusa Serum.
Skipper: Medusa Serum on anybody!
Kowalski: That part is accurate.
Skipper: Show 'em, Rico. [Rico regurgitates the canister of Medusa Serum onto the table. Skipper stands triumphantly over it]
Classified: [shocked]You... you stole the Medusa Serum?
Skipper: Well, stole the serum. Saved the day. Did your job for you. Call it what you will.
Skipper: Ah! But what you don't know is that Dirk...
Kowalski: Dave.
Skipper: Dave, wont be using his Bazooka Serum...
Kowalski: Medusa Serum.
Skipper: Medusa Serum on anybody!
Kowalski: That part is accurate.
Skipper: Show 'em, Rico. [Rico regurgitates the canister of Medusa Serum onto the table. Skipper stands triumphantly over it]
Classified: [shocked]You... you stole the Medusa Serum?
Skipper: Well, stole the serum. Saved the day. Did your job for you. Call it what you will.
Movie: Penguins of Madagascar