Reba Quotes
Barbra Jean: You know how i've been doing all of our tax returns?
Reba: Yeah, what's the problem?
Barbra Jean: I'VE been doing all of our tax returns! here, take a look!
Reba: Well, right off the bat i'd say you should stop doing the "I *heart* the IRS" stuff. It makes you sound desperate.
Barbra Jean: I am desperate! Oh, Reba i'm goin down! I'm headed for the big house!
Reba: Oh, barbara jean.
Barbra Jean: Promise me Reba, if i get sent to prison you will do something to get sent to prison too! And then we'll break out like on that show! You're gonna have to get the layout of the prison tatooed on your body so you're gonna need to gain some weight! Oh, GOD!
Reba: Calm down!
Barbra Jean: Oh, I love how tough you are. When we're in prison, i'm so gonna be your girlfriend!
Reba: Barbara jean, they only send you to prison if you lie on these forms... not because you put glitter all over it!
Barbra Jean: I would never knowingly lie! it would be because i just made these mistakes because i don't know what i'm doing, right?
Reba: Yeah, you should plead dumb! trust me after they talk to you for awhile they'll let you off. Heck, they'll probably even pay for your ride home!
Barbra Jean: Even if we didn't go to prison i would SO still be your girlfriend!
Reba: Yeah, what's the problem?
Barbra Jean: I'VE been doing all of our tax returns! here, take a look!
Reba: Well, right off the bat i'd say you should stop doing the "I *heart* the IRS" stuff. It makes you sound desperate.
Barbra Jean: I am desperate! Oh, Reba i'm goin down! I'm headed for the big house!
Reba: Oh, barbara jean.
Barbra Jean: Promise me Reba, if i get sent to prison you will do something to get sent to prison too! And then we'll break out like on that show! You're gonna have to get the layout of the prison tatooed on your body so you're gonna need to gain some weight! Oh, GOD!
Reba: Calm down!
Barbra Jean: Oh, I love how tough you are. When we're in prison, i'm so gonna be your girlfriend!
Reba: Barbara jean, they only send you to prison if you lie on these forms... not because you put glitter all over it!
Barbra Jean: I would never knowingly lie! it would be because i just made these mistakes because i don't know what i'm doing, right?
Reba: Yeah, you should plead dumb! trust me after they talk to you for awhile they'll let you off. Heck, they'll probably even pay for your ride home!
Barbra Jean: Even if we didn't go to prison i would SO still be your girlfriend!
TV Show: Reba
Cheyenne: [about Kyra living with Barbra Jean and Brock] She must be making their lives a living nightmare.
Reba: [laughs] I know! [Straightens up]
Reba: I mean... [firmly]
Reba: I know.
Reba: [laughs] I know! [Straightens up]
Reba: I mean... [firmly]
Reba: I know.
TV Show: Reba
Cheyenne: [as Van eats cereal directly out of the box] What are you doing?
Van Montgomery: I'm trying to get the prize, and if I do it with my hands it'll be unsanitary.
Cheyenne: Is the prize three cavities and a gut?
Van Montgomery: [laughing] Oh! Ha,ha! You're funny. That's why I married you - your sense of humor. Oh wait, no. It was the baby.
Van Montgomery: I'm trying to get the prize, and if I do it with my hands it'll be unsanitary.
Cheyenne: Is the prize three cavities and a gut?
Van Montgomery: [laughing] Oh! Ha,ha! You're funny. That's why I married you - your sense of humor. Oh wait, no. It was the baby.
TV Show: Reba
Reba: Hey, Jake. What are you watching?
Jake Hart: The Weather Channel. More rain for Brazil.
Jake Hart: The Weather Channel. More rain for Brazil.
TV Show: Reba
Reba: Jake, why aren't you eating?
Jake Hart: I don't have a spoon.
Reba: Is this your first breakfast?
Jake Hart: I don't have a spoon.
Reba: Is this your first breakfast?
TV Show: Reba
Reba: [reading a card] Oh, no! It says here that Barbara Jean told Buzzard it was okay for him to write me and visit when he's in town!
Cheyenne: Wait, this is Barbara Jean's brother Buzzard; right?
Reba: Cheyenne, I would hate to think that I knew more than one person with the nickname 'Buzzard'.
Cheyenne: Wait, this is Barbara Jean's brother Buzzard; right?
Reba: Cheyenne, I would hate to think that I knew more than one person with the nickname 'Buzzard'.
TV Show: Reba
[Reba is shocked by Barbera Jean's new Reba haircut]
Barbra Jean: So, what do you think? Is it me?
Reba: [furiously] No. It's me!
Barbra Jean: So, what do you think? Is it me?
Reba: [furiously] No. It's me!
TV Show: Reba
[Van is sleeping, drooling on his sheets. Reba comes in telling him to wake up]
Van Montgomery: Awwww! I was dreaming about waffles!
Van Montgomery: Awwww! I was dreaming about waffles!
TV Show: Reba
[Van laying on the bed because he cant play football Friday night]
Cheyenne: Wanna go to the movies?
Van Montgomery: No.
Cheyenne: Wanna fool around?
Van Montgomery: No.
Cheyenne: Wanna eat some pizza?
Van Montgomery: No.
Cheyenne: [Yells] MOM!
Cheyenne: Wanna go to the movies?
Van Montgomery: No.
Cheyenne: Wanna fool around?
Van Montgomery: No.
Cheyenne: Wanna eat some pizza?
Van Montgomery: No.
Cheyenne: [Yells] MOM!
TV Show: Reba
Dolly Majors: And you are gonna be the prettiest woman in the office!
Reba: Oh, Second to you!
Dolly Majors: Hey, we're not comparing apples and melon's here.
TV Show: Reba
Reba: [reading a card] Oh, no! It says here that Barbara Jean told Buzzard it was okay for him to write me and visit when he's in town!
Cheyenne: Wait, this is Barbara Jean's brother Buzzard; right?
Reba: Cheyenne, I would hate to think that I knew more than one person with the nickname 'Buzzard'.
TV Show: Reba
Reba: [when Kyra is helping cheer Barbra Jean up after she and Brock separate] You are a beautiful young woman.
Kyra: Or maybe you just raised me right. That and I watch a lot of "7th Heaven".
TV Show: Reba
Reba: [when Van gets an injury involving his spine and tail bone] It's a mother-in-law's job to make the best of a bad situation.
Van Montgomery: [sarcastically] I thought it was a mother-in-law's job to make butt-jokes about her son-in-law.
Reba: We wear many hats.
TV Show: Reba
Reba: Hey, Jake. What are you watching?
Jake Hart: The Weather Channel. More rain for Brazil.
TV Show: Reba
Reba: I know what Kyra is doing!
Brock Hart: Like you did with Cheyenne?
Reba: Oh, one time! The one time our daughter gets pregnant and I never hear the end of it!
TV Show: Reba
Reba: If Thanksgiving were a concert, the turkey would be Cher.
Barbra Jean: So, you want to have Thanksgiving here, and you want Cher?
Reba: That's right. I've got turkey, babe!
TV Show: Reba
Reba: Jake Mitchell Hart are you lying to me?
Jake Hart: Yes! No one mocks me and gets away with it!
Reba: So, did that boy even go upstairs?
Jake Hart: No! And I didn't no he was a boy, I thought he was an ugly girl!
Reba: You are in big trouble! no tv, no dessert, and Grandma gets her cell phone back! [She takes the gameboy SP back and Jake runs upstairs]
TV Show: Reba
Reba: Kyra, what on Earth would make you wanna hit someone?
Cheyenne: It's her way of showing affection.
Kyra: Yeah, that's right. Now why don't you come over here for a little hug.
TV Show: Reba
Reba: You treat that animal like it can walk on water!
Barbra Jean: What is "dog" spelled backwards reba? [conversation about why barbara jean's dog is missing goes on for another 2 minutes]
Van Montgomery: GOD! it spells god.
TV Show: Reba
Cheyenne: [about Kyra living with Barbra Jean and Brock] She must be making their lives a living nightmare.
Reba: [laughs] I know! [Straightens up]
Reba: I mean... [firmly]
Reba: I know.
TV Show: Reba
Cheyenne: [after seeing her new apartment had other people's stuff] Mom, this isn't my stuff. Oh, my god. We need to call the police
Reba: And report what, a delivery?
TV Show: Reba
Cheyenne: You're leaving? Who's going to watch Elizabeth?
Reba: Oooh, that was close. I almost left her alone with her parents!
Van Montgomery: They all want grandchildren, but they never think of the consequences...
TV Show: Reba
Barbra Jean: [in the hospital, after Cheyenne had a false labor, Barbra Jean sits down on a chair] Oh, my God! I think my water just broke!
Reba: Oh no, you're sitting on my purse!
TV Show: Reba
Barbra Jean: [talking about her wedding] I never wanted to get married in the Virgin Islands.
Reba: Too ironic for ya?
TV Show: Reba
Barbra Jean: [to Kyra] You bring people together. You're like a little Reverend Al Sharpton.
TV Show: Reba