Red vs. Blue Quotes
Sarge: Sounds like we've stumbled across something totally diabolical! Good work uncovering the plot, Simmons.
Simmons: Thank you, sir.
Grif: Simmons!? I just told you everything!
Sarge: But Simmons was the one that led us to you after he stealthily avoided capture.
Grif: Avoided capture!? They knocked him out first and picked me at random!
Sarge: Yes. A randomness that Simmons used to save the day!
Grif: He had nothing to do with that!
Sarge: But it was Simmons that found the underground cave.
Grif: By trying to bury you alive!
Sarge: A tactic that was clearly multi-layered. Once again Simmons' treasonous insurrection proves to be the glue that holds this unit together.
Simmons: Just wait 'til you hear about my upcoming assassination attempt.
Sarge: Oh, don't spoil it!
Simmons: Thank you, sir.
Grif: Simmons!? I just told you everything!
Sarge: But Simmons was the one that led us to you after he stealthily avoided capture.
Grif: Avoided capture!? They knocked him out first and picked me at random!
Sarge: Yes. A randomness that Simmons used to save the day!
Grif: He had nothing to do with that!
Sarge: But it was Simmons that found the underground cave.
Grif: By trying to bury you alive!
Sarge: A tactic that was clearly multi-layered. Once again Simmons' treasonous insurrection proves to be the glue that holds this unit together.
Simmons: Just wait 'til you hear about my upcoming assassination attempt.
Sarge: Oh, don't spoil it!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Simmons: Sarge, I'm not sure Grif knows what he's talking about.
Sarge: Grif don't know what he's talking about, eh? Stop the fucking presses.
Sarge: Grif don't know what he's talking about, eh? Stop the fucking presses.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Church: You can't just show up here and start bossing people around, Tex. Bossing people around is my job. I put in the time.
Tex: I had to leave. I found Wyoming.
Church: Yeah, Tucker told me. What happened?
Tex: I filetracked him back to O'Malley, but by the time that York and I got there... (interrupted by Church)
Church: York? Your old freelancer buddy? Was Carolina with him?
Tex: She was already dead.
Caboose: And what about Bermuda?
Church: That's not a state dumbass!
Caboose: Portland?
Church: Shut up!
Tex: But he still had Delta.
Church: Delta? The AI? How? I thought they took them... Wait a minute, wait a minute... How was he even still alive? Aren't we hundreds of years in the future?
Tex: I thought it was because of his armour. You know all the freelancer suits had some kind of enhancement.
Church: Right! Like your invisibility.
Caboose: And horrible meanness.
Church: No dude, that's all natural.
Tex: York's was some kind of healing mechanism. It would help him recover from wounds in battle. I thought it might have kept him alive all these years. But after I found Wyoming, I knocked him out and downloaded logs from his helmet. There's something going on, Church, with a lot of people working against us.
Church: Well, what did Wyoming say when he woke up?
Tex: He didn't. Before I could interrogate him, he teleported away. One second he was there and the next he was gone.
Caboose: What about the second after that?
Tex: Can I kill him?
Church: No, I'm saving him in case we ever need him for food. So... Wyoming's armor lets him teleport.
Tex:
Tex: I had to leave. I found Wyoming.
Church: Yeah, Tucker told me. What happened?
Tex: I filetracked him back to O'Malley, but by the time that York and I got there... (interrupted by Church)
Church: York? Your old freelancer buddy? Was Carolina with him?
Tex: She was already dead.
Caboose: And what about Bermuda?
Church: That's not a state dumbass!
Caboose: Portland?
Church: Shut up!
Tex: But he still had Delta.
Church: Delta? The AI? How? I thought they took them... Wait a minute, wait a minute... How was he even still alive? Aren't we hundreds of years in the future?
Tex: I thought it was because of his armour. You know all the freelancer suits had some kind of enhancement.
Church: Right! Like your invisibility.
Caboose: And horrible meanness.
Church: No dude, that's all natural.
Tex: York's was some kind of healing mechanism. It would help him recover from wounds in battle. I thought it might have kept him alive all these years. But after I found Wyoming, I knocked him out and downloaded logs from his helmet. There's something going on, Church, with a lot of people working against us.
Church: Well, what did Wyoming say when he woke up?
Tex: He didn't. Before I could interrogate him, he teleported away. One second he was there and the next he was gone.
Caboose: What about the second after that?
Tex: Can I kill him?
Church: No, I'm saving him in case we ever need him for food. So... Wyoming's armor lets him teleport.
Tex:
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Gary: Hello.
Church: Hello, this is Church, Gary. Or should I call you Gamma? Have you been lying to us?
Gary: Lying is such a shisno concept. I mean human concept.
Church: You're a computer, I thought computers can`t lie.
Gary: They can if they are programmed to lie.
Church: Were you programmed to lie?
Gary: (pause) ...No.
Church: God damn it!
Gary: I have to go, Church.
Church: Wait! What about the aliens? How do we... (interupted by Gary)
Gary: Goodbye.
Wyoming: Do they know?
Gary: It is nothing to worry about. We are close to the end. We will not be stopped now.
Wyoming: We should get going. Hop in.
Church: Hello, this is Church, Gary. Or should I call you Gamma? Have you been lying to us?
Gary: Lying is such a shisno concept. I mean human concept.
Church: You're a computer, I thought computers can`t lie.
Gary: They can if they are programmed to lie.
Church: Were you programmed to lie?
Gary: (pause) ...No.
Church: God damn it!
Gary: I have to go, Church.
Church: Wait! What about the aliens? How do we... (interupted by Gary)
Gary: Goodbye.
Wyoming: Do they know?
Gary: It is nothing to worry about. We are close to the end. We will not be stopped now.
Wyoming: We should get going. Hop in.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Vic: Hello! Ringy-ding. Blue Base, come in. Hello.
Church: Wha? Hello? Vic, is that you?
Vic: Hey dude, how's it going? Been a while since we spoke.
Church: Why're you calling me?
Vic: Everything been going good, yeah that's great, listen don't have much time to talk. Ah... Been discussing things here at Blue Command. We think everything is bad and... now is the time to attack the red base. Turns out the red troops are up to no good and someone needs to kill them. A good way to do that might be to send some people to the caves. Yeah... Take them by surprise. Anyway, can't talk gotta go see you hasta la vista.
Church: Wait. [agitated] Why do people keep hanging up on me?!!
Church: Wha? Hello? Vic, is that you?
Vic: Hey dude, how's it going? Been a while since we spoke.
Church: Why're you calling me?
Vic: Everything been going good, yeah that's great, listen don't have much time to talk. Ah... Been discussing things here at Blue Command. We think everything is bad and... now is the time to attack the red base. Turns out the red troops are up to no good and someone needs to kill them. A good way to do that might be to send some people to the caves. Yeah... Take them by surprise. Anyway, can't talk gotta go see you hasta la vista.
Church: Wait. [agitated] Why do people keep hanging up on me?!!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sarge: Oh! Whats all this business?
Simmons: It looks like a bunch of computer equipments, Sir.
Sarge: Excellent analysis, Simmons
Donut: And it's attached to some kind of TV thing.
Sarge: So it is... Astute deduction, Donut.
Grif: It shows all different parts of the canyon. Look, there's our base!
Sarge: Ah... yes. Another incredible observation from the 'Stating the Obvious Department'. Thanks for nothing, numbnuts.
Simmons: It looks like a bunch of computer equipments, Sir.
Sarge: Excellent analysis, Simmons
Donut: And it's attached to some kind of TV thing.
Sarge: So it is... Astute deduction, Donut.
Grif: It shows all different parts of the canyon. Look, there's our base!
Sarge: Ah... yes. Another incredible observation from the 'Stating the Obvious Department'. Thanks for nothing, numbnuts.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sarge: Simmons, Donut, you two stay here. Grif's going to continue to help look for Andy.
Grif: Fine. (sigh) I hate my job.
Donut: Look, there's my room! And the locker room! And there's the showers! Man, so many good memories.
Simmons: I hope this thing isn't connected to the Internet.
Sarge: Ah... The Blues must have set this up! Crafty devils! Spying on us all along. What's all that?
Simmons: Looks like the blue base!
Sarge: Why would the Blues spy on themselves?
Simmons: Maybe the Blues didn't set this up. Someone else might have.
Sarge: Or maybe the Blues are so incredibly arrogant, they just want to see themselves on TV. Or I bet they have those stupid liberal legal time laws. Blue commie bastards.
Simmons: What if all this technology is just left over from an ancient civilization that was way more advanced than us?
Donut: Wait a minute. How could an ANCIENT civilization be MORE advanced? If they were so advanced, where did they go?
Simmons: They could have mysteriosly disappeared! Only leaving behind a legacy of enigmatic technology...
Donut: (turning to Simmons) That's gay!
Simmons: Let's finish this fight later.
Sarge: Look! What's that?
Simmons: (surprised) That looks like Sister's armour!
Donut: Oh no! What happened to her?
Sarge: Clearly she's been disintegrated!
Donut: Why would they do that?
Simmons: We can't tell Grif! He`s going to be devastated!
Grif: (bored) Tell me what?
Sarge: Tell you that your Sister's been vaporised by the Blues.
Grif: (shocked) What!?
Simmons: Sarge!!
Sarge: (laughing)
Grif: Fine. (sigh) I hate my job.
Donut: Look, there's my room! And the locker room! And there's the showers! Man, so many good memories.
Simmons: I hope this thing isn't connected to the Internet.
Sarge: Ah... The Blues must have set this up! Crafty devils! Spying on us all along. What's all that?
Simmons: Looks like the blue base!
Sarge: Why would the Blues spy on themselves?
Simmons: Maybe the Blues didn't set this up. Someone else might have.
Sarge: Or maybe the Blues are so incredibly arrogant, they just want to see themselves on TV. Or I bet they have those stupid liberal legal time laws. Blue commie bastards.
Simmons: What if all this technology is just left over from an ancient civilization that was way more advanced than us?
Donut: Wait a minute. How could an ANCIENT civilization be MORE advanced? If they were so advanced, where did they go?
Simmons: They could have mysteriosly disappeared! Only leaving behind a legacy of enigmatic technology...
Donut: (turning to Simmons) That's gay!
Simmons: Let's finish this fight later.
Sarge: Look! What's that?
Simmons: (surprised) That looks like Sister's armour!
Donut: Oh no! What happened to her?
Sarge: Clearly she's been disintegrated!
Donut: Why would they do that?
Simmons: We can't tell Grif! He`s going to be devastated!
Grif: (bored) Tell me what?
Sarge: Tell you that your Sister's been vaporised by the Blues.
Grif: (shocked) What!?
Simmons: Sarge!!
Sarge: (laughing)
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Grif: [yelling] PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON! What's the one thing I told you?! Don't embarrass the family!
Simmons: I don't think she's embarrassing it - Whoa! Why is she doing splits?
Sarge: Huh, is this that Facebook thing I keep hearing about?
Simmons: Does this thing take dollar bills?
Grif: Come on! That's my sister! And you're looking at her naked!
Simmons: So? She's not our sister.
Grif: Stop looking at her!
Simmons: Why does Donut get to look?
Donut: Hey! Why does the Blue base get so much more natural light than ours? It gives the interior a much more airy and open feeling.
Grif: That's why Donut gets to look.
Sarge: [frustrated]Oh, look, she is putting her armor back on!... Oh, I mean [changes tone] Oh, look! she is putting her armor back on. Good work, soldier!
Grif: Don't patronize me.
Simmons: It looks like the Blues are having some kind of meeting.
Sarge: What? I knew it. They're coming to attack our base. Dirty back stabbers!
Donut: I thought the Blues were supposed to attack our base.
Sarge: Dirty front stabbers!
Sarge: Simmons! What are they saying?
Simmons: I have no idea. I can't find the volume on this monitor. Without any sound, it just looks like a bunch of helmets bobbing up and down.
Sarge: Is that how they talk? They look ridiculous.
Simmons: I don't think she's embarrassing it - Whoa! Why is she doing splits?
Sarge: Huh, is this that Facebook thing I keep hearing about?
Simmons: Does this thing take dollar bills?
Grif: Come on! That's my sister! And you're looking at her naked!
Simmons: So? She's not our sister.
Grif: Stop looking at her!
Simmons: Why does Donut get to look?
Donut: Hey! Why does the Blue base get so much more natural light than ours? It gives the interior a much more airy and open feeling.
Grif: That's why Donut gets to look.
Sarge: [frustrated]Oh, look, she is putting her armor back on!... Oh, I mean [changes tone] Oh, look! she is putting her armor back on. Good work, soldier!
Grif: Don't patronize me.
Simmons: It looks like the Blues are having some kind of meeting.
Sarge: What? I knew it. They're coming to attack our base. Dirty back stabbers!
Donut: I thought the Blues were supposed to attack our base.
Sarge: Dirty front stabbers!
Sarge: Simmons! What are they saying?
Simmons: I have no idea. I can't find the volume on this monitor. Without any sound, it just looks like a bunch of helmets bobbing up and down.
Sarge: Is that how they talk? They look ridiculous.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Caboose: What about me? Can I get lost too?
Tex: No, Caboose. I need you to stay here and watch Shiela.
Church: Yeah, if the transfer gets interrupted, we might lose her altogether.
Caboose: Oh, that would be bad.
Church: Riiiiight. Otherwise, how would you accidentally kill people?
Caboose: Well, I suppose I could always-
Church: Shut up. That was rhetorical.
Tex: No, Caboose. I need you to stay here and watch Shiela.
Church: Yeah, if the transfer gets interrupted, we might lose her altogether.
Caboose: Oh, that would be bad.
Church: Riiiiight. Otherwise, how would you accidentally kill people?
Caboose: Well, I suppose I could always-
Church: Shut up. That was rhetorical.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: Well little dude, I guess there's a time when every little boy becomes a man.
Doc: Tucker he's only three days old.
Tucker: Yeah, they grow up so fast.
Church: Also he's not a boy, he's a grub.
Tucker: The point is, you're on your own now, and I don't have time to tell you everything you need to know. So here's a few brief pointers: Invest in real estate, there's no such thing as a permanent record, always eat breakfast, all the girls on the internet are actually dudes, and you should never, ever buy the extended warranty on anything. Ever. Oh also, chicks like it when you tell them you're pretty, but they also like it when you're kind of a dick to 'em. So mix it up a little.
Church: Tucker let's go!
Tucker: Okay, little dude, I gotta go now. Tex needs me and Church to back her up.
Junior: Blarg Chicka honk honk.
Doc: Huh. I guess you have been teaching him some stuff.
Tucker: Teach? You don't teach that. Thats just genetic.
Doc: Tucker he's only three days old.
Tucker: Yeah, they grow up so fast.
Church: Also he's not a boy, he's a grub.
Tucker: The point is, you're on your own now, and I don't have time to tell you everything you need to know. So here's a few brief pointers: Invest in real estate, there's no such thing as a permanent record, always eat breakfast, all the girls on the internet are actually dudes, and you should never, ever buy the extended warranty on anything. Ever. Oh also, chicks like it when you tell them you're pretty, but they also like it when you're kind of a dick to 'em. So mix it up a little.
Church: Tucker let's go!
Tucker: Okay, little dude, I gotta go now. Tex needs me and Church to back her up.
Junior: Blarg Chicka honk honk.
Doc: Huh. I guess you have been teaching him some stuff.
Tucker: Teach? You don't teach that. Thats just genetic.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
[Tex is approaching the Red base while Church and Tucker look on from a cliff.]
Church: (through the sniper scope) I don't see anything at all. It's like they're all hiding or somethin'.
Tucker: Uh, what do you see?
Church: (annoyed) I just said I don't see anything, I just said that.
Tucker: (whiny) Man, I hate that I never get the fucking sniper rifle!
Church: Oh, yeah, boo hoo. All you've got is your stupid awesome sword, I feel so sorry for you.
Tucker: Come on dude, just once. Let me use it, just one time, I won't ever ask again! Pleeeeeeeease? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?
Church: Can I use the sword?
Tucker: Oh, hell yes!
Church: Fine, here.
Tucker: Oh kickass! [They swap weapons.] Heh heh! Okay no, wait, how do I zoom? I'm zoomed!
Church: Hey Tucker, the sword doesn't even work. What a fuckin' gyp.
Tucker: Now how do I--wait what is this thing?
Church: Okay, whatever dude, just don't-
[Tucker shoots Tex in the ass]
Tex: OW!
Church: What the fuck, did you just fire that thing?
Tucker: Oops! That was an accident.
Church: We're supposed to be sneaking up on them, dumbass! [Tucker sees Tex approaching them through the scope.] They're gonna hear us, gimme it back!
Tucker: Um, yeah, okay take it back.
[They swap weapons again.]
Church: I knew there was a reason I didn't let you use this thing all these years. Hey, Tex, what're you doing back?
[Tex punches Church in the face.]
Church: OW! What the fuck did I do!?
Tex: Asshole!
Tucker: I told him to be careful with that thing. He's just not very good with it.
Church: (through the sniper scope) I don't see anything at all. It's like they're all hiding or somethin'.
Tucker: Uh, what do you see?
Church: (annoyed) I just said I don't see anything, I just said that.
Tucker: (whiny) Man, I hate that I never get the fucking sniper rifle!
Church: Oh, yeah, boo hoo. All you've got is your stupid awesome sword, I feel so sorry for you.
Tucker: Come on dude, just once. Let me use it, just one time, I won't ever ask again! Pleeeeeeeease? Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease?
Church: Can I use the sword?
Tucker: Oh, hell yes!
Church: Fine, here.
Tucker: Oh kickass! [They swap weapons.] Heh heh! Okay no, wait, how do I zoom? I'm zoomed!
Church: Hey Tucker, the sword doesn't even work. What a fuckin' gyp.
Tucker: Now how do I--wait what is this thing?
Church: Okay, whatever dude, just don't-
[Tucker shoots Tex in the ass]
Tex: OW!
Church: What the fuck, did you just fire that thing?
Tucker: Oops! That was an accident.
Church: We're supposed to be sneaking up on them, dumbass! [Tucker sees Tex approaching them through the scope.] They're gonna hear us, gimme it back!
Tucker: Um, yeah, okay take it back.
[They swap weapons again.]
Church: I knew there was a reason I didn't let you use this thing all these years. Hey, Tex, what're you doing back?
[Tex punches Church in the face.]
Church: OW! What the fuck did I do!?
Tex: Asshole!
Tucker: I told him to be careful with that thing. He's just not very good with it.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sister: Oh my god! Head!
Doc: Ok please, really, no more stories.
Sister: Seriously, it's a head! Look.
Doc: Huh?
Lopez: (Spanish) Yo.
Doc: Oh, it's you.
Lopez: (Spanish) Whatever, some way to treat your sidekick. Gone for days and you don't even look for me.
Sister: You know him?
Doc: You speak Spanish?
Sister: Uh, of course I do. It's the year 2500 and I'm from America.
Doc: Oh, cool. Tell him O'Malley's gone.
Sister: (Spanish) O'Malley isn't here. He already left.
Lopez: (Spanish) Your Spanish sucks.
Doc: Ok please, really, no more stories.
Sister: Seriously, it's a head! Look.
Doc: Huh?
Lopez: (Spanish) Yo.
Doc: Oh, it's you.
Lopez: (Spanish) Whatever, some way to treat your sidekick. Gone for days and you don't even look for me.
Sister: You know him?
Doc: You speak Spanish?
Sister: Uh, of course I do. It's the year 2500 and I'm from America.
Doc: Oh, cool. Tell him O'Malley's gone.
Sister: (Spanish) O'Malley isn't here. He already left.
Lopez: (Spanish) Your Spanish sucks.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Vic Jr.: Okay dude; calm down. Take a chill pill. If you don't have a chill pill, take one of those chill strips. You put it on your tongue, it dissolves, chill.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sarge: Shut up, Grif!
Grif: Did that order come from Command?
Sarge: In fact, it did! And they also ordered my foot to report up your ass on the double!
Simmons: [watching the exchange at the underground computer; sighs] I can't believe I donated organs for this fucking war.
Grif: Did that order come from Command?
Sarge: In fact, it did! And they also ordered my foot to report up your ass on the double!
Simmons: [watching the exchange at the underground computer; sighs] I can't believe I donated organs for this fucking war.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: Why do you want my kid?
Wyoming: Because he's very special.
Tucker: Yeah, I guess I should've read to him more.
Wyoming: Not that kind of special you half wit!
Wyoming: Because he's very special.
Tucker: Yeah, I guess I should've read to him more.
Wyoming: Not that kind of special you half wit!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
(The tank appears)
Church: Yeah! Caboose came though. See that, Wyoming? Now we have our tank. Booya, motherfucker!
Wyoming: Mwhawhawha! Your tank?
Gary: Knock knock, Church.
Church: Aw, crap. Is it just me or does something dramatic happen like every five minutes? I can not be the only person who notices this.
Gary: Firing main cannon.
Church: Yeah! Caboose came though. See that, Wyoming? Now we have our tank. Booya, motherfucker!
Wyoming: Mwhawhawha! Your tank?
Gary: Knock knock, Church.
Church: Aw, crap. Is it just me or does something dramatic happen like every five minutes? I can not be the only person who notices this.
Gary: Firing main cannon.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
(Grif and Simmons are arguing)
Sarge: Can it, you two.
Andy: Yeah! You're giving me a headache!
Simmons: Andy? Is that you?
Andy: No, I'm the other talking bomb, Francis! Pleased to meet you, ya dickhead!
Sarge: Can it, you two.
Andy: Yeah! You're giving me a headache!
Simmons: Andy? Is that you?
Andy: No, I'm the other talking bomb, Francis! Pleased to meet you, ya dickhead!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
(Running straight towards Wyoming and Gary the Tank from across the field):
Caboose: Church! I'm coming to help! Don't start without me!
Wyoming: It's the idiot! Take care of him.
Gary: Right.
Tucker: Caboose! No! Stay back! Don't get near the tank! (Gary opens fire on Caboose) tank-!
Caboose: Uuuggaah!!!
Church: Caboose! NOOOOOO!
Caboose: Church! I'm coming to help! Don't start without me!
Wyoming: It's the idiot! Take care of him.
Gary: Right.
Tucker: Caboose! No! Stay back! Don't get near the tank! (Gary opens fire on Caboose) tank-!
Caboose: Uuuggaah!!!
Church: Caboose! NOOOOOO!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sarge: Whoa, looks like the blue one just got killed by their own tank.
Simmons: A blue got killed by their own tank. Man, I just had the weirdest sense of deja vu.
Grif: Hey, speaking of getting tanked, we should check if the blues have any beer around here!
Sarge: Hiyoh!
Simmons: A blue got killed by their own tank. Man, I just had the weirdest sense of deja vu.
Grif: Hey, speaking of getting tanked, we should check if the blues have any beer around here!
Sarge: Hiyoh!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sarge: Whoa, looks like the blue one just got sniped.
Grif: Hey, speaking of getting sniped, we should check if the blues have any... beer around here...?
Simmons: What the fuck is that suppose to mean?
Grif: I don't know. It sounded a lot funnier in my head before I said it...
Simmons: Man, I just had the weirdest sense of deja vu.
Grif: Hey, speaking of getting sniped, we should check if the blues have any... beer around here...?
Simmons: What the fuck is that suppose to mean?
Grif: I don't know. It sounded a lot funnier in my head before I said it...
Simmons: Man, I just had the weirdest sense of deja vu.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Caboose: I'm coming to help! Don't start without me!
Tucker: Caboose, get the fuck out of here!!!
Tucker: Caboose, get the fuck out of here!!!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Sarge: Whoa, looks like the white guy just got stabbed.
Grif: Hey, speaking of getting stabbed... why does my head really hurt, all of a sudden? For some reason, I want a beer...
Grif: Hey, speaking of getting stabbed... why does my head really hurt, all of a sudden? For some reason, I want a beer...
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tucker: Caboose, that's why I always liked you, everything falls into two categories: either you don't understand it or you just don't care.
Caboose: Yeeah, I don't really know what you mean by that... but I guess it doesn't matter.
Tucker: Exactly.
Caboose: Why didn't you ask Tex or Church?... Is it because I'm the best?
Tucker: No, it's because Church is an asshole and Tex doesn't trust me right now.
Caboose: Really? Why not?
Tucker: Ehh, because I got to use the sniper rifle and I ended up unloading a round into her ass.
Caboose: Hey Chicka Bum Bum!
Tucker: Caboose! What did I tell you about that?
Caboose: Sorry. Sorry.
Caboose: Yeeah, I don't really know what you mean by that... but I guess it doesn't matter.
Tucker: Exactly.
Caboose: Why didn't you ask Tex or Church?... Is it because I'm the best?
Tucker: No, it's because Church is an asshole and Tex doesn't trust me right now.
Caboose: Really? Why not?
Tucker: Ehh, because I got to use the sniper rifle and I ended up unloading a round into her ass.
Caboose: Hey Chicka Bum Bum!
Tucker: Caboose! What did I tell you about that?
Caboose: Sorry. Sorry.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Tex: And I have your word that none of them will be hurt? (O'Malley laughs menacingly)
Church: Tex get away from him!
(Church kills O'Malley with Tucker's sword, forcing him outside of Caboose's head)
Church: Booyeah!
Tex: NO! Dammit, Church!
(Tex fires at Church who retaliates and kills her too)
Church: Awesome! I'm like a fuckin' Jedi! Aw fuck you're both dead.
Church: Tex get away from him!
(Church kills O'Malley with Tucker's sword, forcing him outside of Caboose's head)
Church: Booyeah!
Tex: NO! Dammit, Church!
(Tex fires at Church who retaliates and kills her too)
Church: Awesome! I'm like a fuckin' Jedi! Aw fuck you're both dead.
TV Show: Red vs. Blue
Simmons: Hey, Caboose!
Grif: Caboooooooooose!
Simmons: Come out so I can shoot you, ya fuckstick!
Grif: Where did Caboose go?
Sarge: I don't see 'im.
Simmons: Come out, Caboose, all we wanna do is shoot you!
Caboose: (hiding behind a tree) Don't listen to them, it's a trick!
Grif: Caboooooooooose!
Simmons: Come out so I can shoot you, ya fuckstick!
Grif: Where did Caboose go?
Sarge: I don't see 'im.
Simmons: Come out, Caboose, all we wanna do is shoot you!
Caboose: (hiding behind a tree) Don't listen to them, it's a trick!
TV Show: Red vs. Blue