Robot Chicken Quotes
Queen Beryl: Soon I will have your life force, Sailor Moon, and my plan to rule the earth will come to fruition!
[Notices her erection.]
Queen Beryl: Oh...anime sure is weird!
[Notices her erection.]
Queen Beryl: Oh...anime sure is weird!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
[The A-Team are about to take off in a helicopter.]
B.A.: I ain't flyin', Hannibal! No way, no how!
Hannibal: That sounds perfectly reasonable B.A., now calm down and have some nice milk.
B.A.: [drinks glass of milk] Mmm, milk, Good for the bones, good for the kids. I pity the fool who ain't got no calcium in his diet!
[Murdock drops a huge TV on B.A.]
Faceman: Murdock, we drugged the milk! You didn't have to hit him over the head!
[Next scene, aboard the helicopter]
Murdock: Hey, you know years of druged milk can leed to seaver side effects like, Severe lactose intolerance.
[The unconscious B.A. begins farting up a storm]
Faceman: Damn it, the windows won't roll down!
Hannibal: This is gonna be a long flight...
B.A.: I ain't flyin', Hannibal! No way, no how!
Hannibal: That sounds perfectly reasonable B.A., now calm down and have some nice milk.
B.A.: [drinks glass of milk] Mmm, milk, Good for the bones, good for the kids. I pity the fool who ain't got no calcium in his diet!
[Murdock drops a huge TV on B.A.]
Faceman: Murdock, we drugged the milk! You didn't have to hit him over the head!
[Next scene, aboard the helicopter]
Murdock: Hey, you know years of druged milk can leed to seaver side effects like, Severe lactose intolerance.
[The unconscious B.A. begins farting up a storm]
Faceman: Damn it, the windows won't roll down!
Hannibal: This is gonna be a long flight...
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Faceman: Greetings. Is this where the thugs and/or criminals hang out? Because, I too, am a thug and/or criminal.
Thug 1: Holy crap, it's Faceman from the A-Team!
Thug 2: Get him!
Thug 1: Holy crap, it's Faceman from the A-Team!
Thug 2: Get him!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Man in jacket: I think I just s*** out my heart, [gasp] I wonder if she puts out...
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Daphne: Gosh, Freddy, are we really going to go all the way?
Fred: If one more person says something about my ascot, I'll -- damn, it's fashionable!
Fred: If one more person says something about my ascot, I'll -- damn, it's fashionable!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Fred: I suggest we split up. Shaggy and Scooby, you check the campground. Velma, you check the woods. Daphne and I will check out the bunkhouse and have some of that nice sex until you get back.
Phyllis Diller: Sex? You? With her? But with that dickey, you couldn't even bag an old bag like me! [laughs]
Fred: [slaps her] It's an ascot, you old whore! An ascot!
Phyllis Diller: [punches Fred] Well, your "ascot" laid out by this old whore, dickey.
Phyllis Diller: Sex? You? With her? But with that dickey, you couldn't even bag an old bag like me! [laughs]
Fred: [slaps her] It's an ascot, you old whore! An ascot!
Phyllis Diller: [punches Fred] Well, your "ascot" laid out by this old whore, dickey.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Velma: The virgin always lives the longest in these horror movies. God, my life sucks!
Don Knotts: You think your life sucks? One of my apartment tenants might be a flaming homo! [audience laughs] And that ain't all - somebody killed me! [falls down with a knife in his back]
Don Knotts: You think your life sucks? One of my apartment tenants might be a flaming homo! [audience laughs] And that ain't all - somebody killed me! [falls down with a knife in his back]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Velma: Now let's see who you really are. [Unmaskes Jason] Old Man Phillips?! But why?
Phillips: Spanish doubloons in that lake! Thousands as far as the eye can see! It would have been all mine, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Velma: A-a bunch of coins?! My friends are all dead! They're dead, and I'm still a virgin! A virgin!!
Phillips: Y'know... we can fix that.
Phillips: Spanish doubloons in that lake! Thousands as far as the eye can see! It would have been all mine, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
Velma: A-a bunch of coins?! My friends are all dead! They're dead, and I'm still a virgin! A virgin!!
Phillips: Y'know... we can fix that.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Reporter #1: Mayor McCheese! Mayor McCheese! How do your views differ from Governor Schwarzenegger given that he's a republican, and you have a cheeseburger for a head?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Mayor McCheese: It's a birth defect! Oh, I've dealt with prejudice all my life...
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Reporter #2: Mr. Mayor! Mr. Mayor! There have been allegations that you've taken women to motel rooms and paid them to go to the bathroom on your chest.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Gohan: Dad, could you kick an angel's ass?
Goku: You're damn right I could.
Gohan: Is that Santa on the roof?
Goku: Well if not, I got a present for him. [racks handgun slide]
(Santa falls hard out of the chimney.)
Gohan: Santa, Santa!
Santa: Oh! my motherfucking knee, Oh, fuck! Fuck! Oh, fucking damn it out of hell that hurts like a motherfucker!
Gohan: Dad, what's a scrotum?
Goku: Uh... er... heh. So, uh Santa, what happened?
Santa: Bandits, Goku; they stole my reindeer, and all the presents... and my pants!
Goku: You're damn right I could.
Gohan: Is that Santa on the roof?
Goku: Well if not, I got a present for him. [racks handgun slide]
(Santa falls hard out of the chimney.)
Gohan: Santa, Santa!
Santa: Oh! my motherfucking knee, Oh, fuck! Fuck! Oh, fucking damn it out of hell that hurts like a motherfucker!
Gohan: Dad, what's a scrotum?
Goku: Uh... er... heh. So, uh Santa, what happened?
Santa: Bandits, Goku; they stole my reindeer, and all the presents... and my pants!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
The Nutcracker: Ha ha ha, Christmas is ours!
Reindeer: You'll never get away with this!
Composite Santa: Ho, ho, ho! (Makes a fist) I've got five good reasons for you to shut up: (Pulls out a gun and shoots the reindeer five times) One, two, three-four-five!
Reindeer: You'll never get away with this!
Composite Santa: Ho, ho, ho! (Makes a fist) I've got five good reasons for you to shut up: (Pulls out a gun and shoots the reindeer five times) One, two, three-four-five!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Gohan: Dad, who are those guys?
Goku: Kung fu legends. That's the Little Drummer Boy; his mystical drum conjures summon demons most foul. The Nutcracker; he knows over 100 different testicle-based attacks. And Composite Santa Claus, who looks like one half Santa and one half Frosty the Snowman.
Gohan: What are Composite Santa's powers?
Goku: I don't know, but he freaks me right the fuck out.
Composite Santa: Intruders!!!
Little Drummer Boy: I will conquer the demon with my magical drum! Hahahaha!! [he fights playing the drums and drops the sticks]
Goku: Kung fu legends. That's the Little Drummer Boy; his mystical drum conjures summon demons most foul. The Nutcracker; he knows over 100 different testicle-based attacks. And Composite Santa Claus, who looks like one half Santa and one half Frosty the Snowman.
Gohan: What are Composite Santa's powers?
Goku: I don't know, but he freaks me right the fuck out.
Composite Santa: Intruders!!!
Little Drummer Boy: I will conquer the demon with my magical drum! Hahahaha!! [he fights playing the drums and drops the sticks]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Reindeers: [After seeing Goku and Gohan's Kamehameha, killing two reindeers, making like a path] Holy shit!!!!
Composite Santa: [Composite Santa is vertically cut in half by the Kamehameha blast] Temperatures over 32 degrees farenheit... my only weakness! [Composite Santa dies]
Composite Santa: [Composite Santa is vertically cut in half by the Kamehameha blast] Temperatures over 32 degrees farenheit... my only weakness! [Composite Santa dies]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Goku: We did it!
Mrs. Santa: Fools!
Goku: Mrs. Santa?
Mrs. Santa: The evil sigestion of attacking christmas is me!
Mrs. Santa: Fools!
Goku: Mrs. Santa?
Mrs. Santa: The evil sigestion of attacking christmas is me!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
(After taking down the NutCracker with his nimbus cloud)
Gohan: Hah! You're not so tough!
Nutcraker: Testicle attack No. 49!! (punches Gohan in the groin)
Gohan: Owww! My Dragonball!
Gohan: Hah! You're not so tough!
Nutcraker: Testicle attack No. 49!! (punches Gohan in the groin)
Gohan: Owww! My Dragonball!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Reindeer 1: Your nose shoots lasers?
Rudolph: You don't think there is a reason it glows red? What does yours shoot? (Reindeer 1 blows boogers from his snout) Eww!
Rudolph: You don't think there is a reason it glows red? What does yours shoot? (Reindeer 1 blows boogers from his snout) Eww!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Composite Santa: [After a long Dragon-Ball style "powering up" sequence] Okay, I've got nothing....
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Reindeer 1: It's payback time! Let's beat her up so bad, her kids will inherit the bruises!
Reindeer 2: Yeah, we'll hit her so hard, she'll starve to death rolling!
Reindeer 1: She's so ugly, we'll push her face in dough and make gorilla biscuits!
Reindeer 2: She so black, when she go to night school, teacher mark her absent!
Santa: Tha-that-that's still my wife, guys.
Reindeer 2: Yeah, we'll hit her so hard, she'll starve to death rolling!
Reindeer 1: She's so ugly, we'll push her face in dough and make gorilla biscuits!
Reindeer 2: She so black, when she go to night school, teacher mark her absent!
Santa: Tha-that-that's still my wife, guys.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Santa: [Referring to the mutated Mrs. Santa] She's grown too gigantic and unstable! Women.... am I right, fellas?
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Goku: The Tenka'ichi Budôkai is finally complete.
Santa: What the fuck are you talking about? Was that even English? What happened to my wife? [A reindeer eats the snowflake; Santa sighs] This is the last time I bring presents to Japan. [Little Drummer Boy does a rimshot and drops his sticks]
Santa: What the fuck are you talking about? Was that even English? What happened to my wife? [A reindeer eats the snowflake; Santa sighs] This is the last time I bring presents to Japan. [Little Drummer Boy does a rimshot and drops his sticks]
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Mike Lazzo: Hi y'all! I'm Adult Swim president Mike Lazzo. The decision of the council is now fixin' to be heard.
Peter Griffin: Guilty!
Space Ghost: Guilty.
Master Shake: Oh ho, you're so-o frickin' guilty.
Seth Green: (screen starts to fly away into space) "Nooooooo!!!! Aggghhh--!! (screen crashes onto a UFO)
Alien 1: I think we hit something.
Alien 2: Dammit, dammit, dammit!
Seth Green: Aggghh!! (falls down onto his seat) Ummff!
Keith Crofford: Hey Seth, what happened to you?"
Seth Green: I don't know. (slime comes down as audience laughs)
Keith Crofford: (laughs) You're renewed.
Peter Griffin: Guilty!
Space Ghost: Guilty.
Master Shake: Oh ho, you're so-o frickin' guilty.
Seth Green: (screen starts to fly away into space) "Nooooooo!!!! Aggghhh--!! (screen crashes onto a UFO)
Alien 1: I think we hit something.
Alien 2: Dammit, dammit, dammit!
Seth Green: Aggghh!! (falls down onto his seat) Ummff!
Keith Crofford: Hey Seth, what happened to you?"
Seth Green: I don't know. (slime comes down as audience laughs)
Keith Crofford: (laughs) You're renewed.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Skater McGee: And now I'm off to the next town to kill more teenagers.
Mayor: You're doing God's work, Skater McGee.
Mayor: You're doing God's work, Skater McGee.
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Mr. Potato Head: (to Mrs. Potato Head after she gives birth to a carrot) You whore!
TV Show: Robot Chicken
Jesus: Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. (everyone drops their stones, Jesus then hits the prisoner with his stone) Blammo!
TV Show: Robot Chicken