Sam Quotes
Samantha: All right, pal, you're on!
Alexander Blondell: OK, I can detect a pattern here. It's not pal, it's not dude, it's Mister Blondell. M-I-S-T-E-R B-L-O-N-D-E-L-L. Now put this on.
Samantha: No, dude! I'm not wearing a tutu.
Alexander Blondell: It is not a tutu. Now, put it on.
Alexander Blondell: OK, I can detect a pattern here. It's not pal, it's not dude, it's Mister Blondell. M-I-S-T-E-R B-L-O-N-D-E-L-L. Now put this on.
Samantha: No, dude! I'm not wearing a tutu.
Alexander Blondell: It is not a tutu. Now, put it on.
Movie: Sam
Doc: So what's it like?
Samantha: What's what like?
Doc: Being a woman.
Samantha: It's, em, it's like someone added 27 frequencies to my radio dial.
Doc: Which means?
Samantha: Which means, when I walk into a room, I pretty much know what's going on with everybody.
Samantha: What's what like?
Doc: Being a woman.
Samantha: It's, em, it's like someone added 27 frequencies to my radio dial.
Doc: Which means?
Samantha: Which means, when I walk into a room, I pretty much know what's going on with everybody.
Movie: Sam
Samantha: I'm sorry, are you trying to buy me off?
Cynthia: I mean, you're obviously the type. You know, I mean, if it walks like a duck...
Samantha: How would you like me to belt you in the mouth like a duck?
Cynthia: I mean, you're obviously the type. You know, I mean, if it walks like a duck...
Samantha: How would you like me to belt you in the mouth like a duck?
Movie: Sam
Alexander Blondell: Look at yourself. What do you see?
Samantha: I don't know, I see someone who should have left ten minutes ago?
Samantha: I don't know, I see someone who should have left ten minutes ago?
Movie: Sam
Alexander Blondell: I see beauty. Just the very inkling of it, the first little bud pushing its head above the earth, but it is there.
Movie: Sam
Samantha: And if...
Doc: Yeah?
Samantha: ...if you weren't totally smitten with me.
Doc: I'm smitten, huh?
Samantha: Crazy in love.
Doc: Wow, you're good.
Samantha: The feeling's mutual, by the way.
Doc: Yeah?
Samantha: ...if you weren't totally smitten with me.
Doc: I'm smitten, huh?
Samantha: Crazy in love.
Doc: Wow, you're good.
Samantha: The feeling's mutual, by the way.
Movie: Sam
Cynthia: When you change your mind, and you come begging, don't bother calling, OK? Because I'm changing my number.
Samantha: Change your hairstyle while you're at it!
Samantha: Change your hairstyle while you're at it!
Movie: Sam
Samantha: Don't you think that I'm sick of this too? Hearing Alvin the Chipmunk coming out of my mouth every time I speak? Having this face staring back at me every morning?
Doc: OK, relax. It's not such a bad face.
Doc: OK, relax. It's not such a bad face.
Movie: Sam
Cynthia: Decent men, in this city, are few and far between. Decent, straight, unmarried ones are even rarer.
Samantha: Oh, you forgot, rich.
Samantha: Oh, you forgot, rich.
Movie: Sam
Samantha: If you want it to work out with Stephen, I mean, really work out for the long haul, just be his friend, and everything will fall into place from there.
Georgette: Wow, I really didn't expect that from you.
Samantha: Yeah, neither did I.
Georgette: Wow, I really didn't expect that from you.
Samantha: Yeah, neither did I.
Movie: Sam
Doc: You know, we are going to look back at this and we're gonna l...
Samantha: Oh God, you... smell... so... good!
Doc: Em, that's... those are, it's just androgens. Those are pheromones and it's a chemical... what?
Samantha: I'm getting the uncontrollable urge to... cuddle!
Samantha: Oh God, you... smell... so... good!
Doc: Em, that's... those are, it's just androgens. Those are pheromones and it's a chemical... what?
Samantha: I'm getting the uncontrollable urge to... cuddle!
Movie: Sam
Lulu: Seymour, that girl needs a makeover. She can not meet my new partner looking like that.
Movie: Sam
Doc: And for the record, you don't sound like Alvin the Chipmunk.
Samantha: I don't, really?
Doc: Theodore, maybe.
Samantha: I don't, really?
Doc: Theodore, maybe.
Movie: Sam
Lou the Doorman: Good day, Miss Wellman!
Samantha: Well, you know what they say, Lou. Every day above ground's a good one.
Lou the Doorman: Ain't that the truth!
Samantha: Well, you know what they say, Lou. Every day above ground's a good one.
Lou the Doorman: Ain't that the truth!
Movie: Sam
Doc: Were you really gonna belt her?
Samantha: Hell, yeah!
Doc: Spunky little thing, aren't you?
Samantha: In a manner of speaking.
Samantha: Hell, yeah!
Doc: Spunky little thing, aren't you?
Samantha: In a manner of speaking.
Movie: Sam
Samantha: I might be a few pounds lighter, but I can still catch a football.
Doc: Sam, we don't play tackle football with women. End of discussion.
Samantha: Dude, I still got the chops.
Doc: Case closed.
Samantha: [to herself]Sexist pig.
Doc: [offscreen]I heard that!
Doc: Sam, we don't play tackle football with women. End of discussion.
Samantha: Dude, I still got the chops.
Doc: Case closed.
Samantha: [to herself]Sexist pig.
Doc: [offscreen]I heard that!
Movie: Sam
Samantha: And another thing. That promotion, it's going to Margaret.
Seymour: Huh? It is?
Samantha: Yeah. She earned it. Actually, she should have gotten it three years ago, but you and Sam were too busy stealing all of her ideas to give it to her.
Seymour: Huh? It is?
Samantha: Yeah. She earned it. Actually, she should have gotten it three years ago, but you and Sam were too busy stealing all of her ideas to give it to her.
Movie: Sam
Doc: I know it's you, Sam... but you're different.
Samantha: Good different?
Doc: Not good. Amazing.
Samantha: Good different?
Doc: Not good. Amazing.
Movie: Sam
Alexander Blondell: Oh, don't think of it as losing your Quasimodo posture... that hair! Think of it as gaining a new sense of style. Not to mention a new arsenal in the war between the sexes.
Samantha: My sexes are warring enough.
Samantha: My sexes are warring enough.
Movie: Sam
Seymour: Come on, all women love makeovers, right?
Samantha: I'm not all women, believe me.
Samantha: I'm not all women, believe me.
Movie: Sam
Samantha: Doc, we're dudes. We fight, get drunk, and then make up.
Doc: We are not dudes, Sam! Only one of us is a dude! That's the problem.
Doc: We are not dudes, Sam! Only one of us is a dude! That's the problem.
Movie: Sam
Samantha: You know about drugs and hormone therapy and all that. So, I don't know, maybe if I was a dude again then everything would just be OK. You know, maybe we could go back to being friends.
Doc: You're serious.
Samantha: As a heart attack.
Doc: You're serious.
Samantha: As a heart attack.
Movie: Sam
Samantha: Goddamit, Seymour!
Seymour: What?
Samantha: You're a frickin' octopus, you know that?
Seymour: What?
Samantha: You're a frickin' octopus, you know that?
Movie: Sam