Sealab 2021 Quotes
Stormy*flashing west side hand sign*: "I thought it was a nickname, you know, like Dr. Dre. Eastsiiide!"
[Long pause]
Sparks: "God you're stupid."
[Long pause]
Sparks: "God you're stupid."
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Stormy: [guffaws]WHITE Debbie??
[laughs] That's stupid! I know she's white..."
Dr. Quinn: Man, how'd you feel if eveyone went around calling you "White" Stormy?
Stormy: [gasps] You mean there's a BLACK Stormy?!!"
Dr. Quinn: .....No
[laughs] That's stupid! I know she's white..."
Dr. Quinn: Man, how'd you feel if eveyone went around calling you "White" Stormy?
Stormy: [gasps] You mean there's a BLACK Stormy?!!"
Dr. Quinn: .....No
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Griff: I, uh... I, um...
Debbie: You stutter too? Could you have worse luck? Oh well, at least you wont have to deal with it in high school.
Debbie: You stutter too? Could you have worse luck? Oh well, at least you wont have to deal with it in high school.
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Perseus: Watch this, y'all!
[jumps off the bridge]
Sparks: Oh man. The rope totally broke, right?
Shanks: Probably woulda, but old Perseus forgot to measure the bridge, so he still had fifty feet of bungee left when he hit.
Stormy: Duuude!
Shanks: And to make matters worse, he jumped holdin' Herc's favorite chicken.
Hercules: Mah chicken!!
[jumps off the bridge]
Sparks: No way! Hercules jumped too?
Shanks: Yup. Shattered his spine. But with his last dyin' breath he hollered up to us-
Hercules: Oh man, this ain't even mah chicken!
Odysseus: Well, whose is it?
Hercules: I think you'd better sit down, Ody.
Odysseus: Oh, mah chicken!!
[jumps off the bridge]
Shanks: He loved that bird somethin' fierce, but he landed on Herc! Killed 'em both deader than four o'clock in the mornin'.
Sparks: So what happened to the chicken?
Shanks: Funny enough, that old yard bird lived, like a dang miracle... So we ate it.
Sparks: Circle of life, man.
Shanks: Needless to say, Mama was awful tore up about the whole thing.
Mama: Is that Herc's chicken?
Young Shanks: No, it's Ody's.
Mama: ...He's plump.
Sparks: Well, here's to your bean-snappin' mother.
Stormy: And your dead-ass brothers!
[the three drink]
Shanks: That night, Castor and Pollux got to drinkin' and they swore revenge.
Sparks: Revenge? On who?
Shanks: On that damn bridge! They put a fifty gallon tank of gas on either end of the bridge-
Sparks: Wait, they put gas on the bridge?
Shanks: Yeah, shut up. Then, they staggered out onto the middle of the bridge-
Sparks: Wait, the middle of the bridge?
Shanks: Dammit, can I tell this, please? Then
[jumps off the bridge]
Sparks: Oh man. The rope totally broke, right?
Shanks: Probably woulda, but old Perseus forgot to measure the bridge, so he still had fifty feet of bungee left when he hit.
Stormy: Duuude!
Shanks: And to make matters worse, he jumped holdin' Herc's favorite chicken.
Hercules: Mah chicken!!
[jumps off the bridge]
Sparks: No way! Hercules jumped too?
Shanks: Yup. Shattered his spine. But with his last dyin' breath he hollered up to us-
Hercules: Oh man, this ain't even mah chicken!
Odysseus: Well, whose is it?
Hercules: I think you'd better sit down, Ody.
Odysseus: Oh, mah chicken!!
[jumps off the bridge]
Shanks: He loved that bird somethin' fierce, but he landed on Herc! Killed 'em both deader than four o'clock in the mornin'.
Sparks: So what happened to the chicken?
Shanks: Funny enough, that old yard bird lived, like a dang miracle... So we ate it.
Sparks: Circle of life, man.
Shanks: Needless to say, Mama was awful tore up about the whole thing.
Mama: Is that Herc's chicken?
Young Shanks: No, it's Ody's.
Mama: ...He's plump.
Sparks: Well, here's to your bean-snappin' mother.
Stormy: And your dead-ass brothers!
[the three drink]
Shanks: That night, Castor and Pollux got to drinkin' and they swore revenge.
Sparks: Revenge? On who?
Shanks: On that damn bridge! They put a fifty gallon tank of gas on either end of the bridge-
Sparks: Wait, they put gas on the bridge?
Shanks: Yeah, shut up. Then, they staggered out onto the middle of the bridge-
Sparks: Wait, the middle of the bridge?
Shanks: Dammit, can I tell this, please? Then
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Marco: So, you, uh, need anything?
Stormy: Um... no. Can't think of anything. [coughs violently] Oh, maybe some tuberculosis medicine.
Stormy: Um... no. Can't think of anything. [coughs violently] Oh, maybe some tuberculosis medicine.
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Murphy: Lady, unless you got a Baby Alvis jammed up your skirt, tell your story walking!
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Debbie: humans! you still have a human brain.
Sparks: but the humans would discriminate against you. You can't even vote!
Marco: man, we better not have to live on reservations, that would really chap my caboose!
Sparks: but the humans would discriminate against you. You can't even vote!
Marco: man, we better not have to live on reservations, that would really chap my caboose!
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Quinn: How the hell did Sparks get promoted? [cut to Debbie and Sparks]
Debbie: A wheelchair?
Sparks: Uh, what do you call a chair with wheels?
Debbie: You're just lazy! Not disabled!
Sparks: My legs are limp and dead.
Debbie: A wheelchair?
Sparks: Uh, what do you call a chair with wheels?
Debbie: You're just lazy! Not disabled!
Sparks: My legs are limp and dead.
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Sparks: [voice shakes] I'm telling you Deb, no sensation whatsoever.
Debbie: [camera pulls back to reveal his legs full of sharp objects and Debbie holding a battle axe] Really. Then you're sure you won't mind another one?
Sparks: Oh, hey... [begins to shake] Knock yourself out.
Debbie: [camera pulls back to reveal his legs full of sharp objects and Debbie holding a battle axe] Really. Then you're sure you won't mind another one?
Sparks: Oh, hey... [begins to shake] Knock yourself out.
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Quinn: My god! You bombed Sealab?!
U.S. President: Well, unless their phone sponteously melted, which they're...no, they're telling me isn't likely.
Quinn: Oh, the humanity!
U.S. President: Now listen to me! Bombing us won't bring them back! Two wrongs don't make a right, and...such and so forth.
Quinn: Right, yes, I'll land the plane.
U.S. President: Super! I tell you what my friend, you uh, land yourself at Andrews and uh, come on over! We'll have some er ah, Tom Collinses, and I'll introduce er ah, well, you know her. Hot little blonde from Sealab?
Quinn: What, Debbie's there?
U.S. President: Oh yes, hell yes, yes! Quite a fast piece of er ah, baggage there! In fact, my brother's probably hosing her down as we speak! We can share, eh? You know I'm into that!
Quinn: You filthy bastard! [cuts transmission]
U.S. President: Hello? Son, are you there?
Quinn: [riding a falling nuke to his doom on the U.S.A.] Nobody shucks my corn but meeeee!
U.S. President: Well, unless their phone sponteously melted, which they're...no, they're telling me isn't likely.
Quinn: Oh, the humanity!
U.S. President: Now listen to me! Bombing us won't bring them back! Two wrongs don't make a right, and...such and so forth.
Quinn: Right, yes, I'll land the plane.
U.S. President: Super! I tell you what my friend, you uh, land yourself at Andrews and uh, come on over! We'll have some er ah, Tom Collinses, and I'll introduce er ah, well, you know her. Hot little blonde from Sealab?
Quinn: What, Debbie's there?
U.S. President: Oh yes, hell yes, yes! Quite a fast piece of er ah, baggage there! In fact, my brother's probably hosing her down as we speak! We can share, eh? You know I'm into that!
Quinn: You filthy bastard! [cuts transmission]
U.S. President: Hello? Son, are you there?
Quinn: [riding a falling nuke to his doom on the U.S.A.] Nobody shucks my corn but meeeee!
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Quinn: Hey, why not have the guy with five PhDs mop the floor? Yeah, hey, good plan...
Murphy: [head appears in ventilation shaft] Psst! Hey!
Quinn: Hello?
Murphy: Down here!
Quinn: Hello... sir.
Murphy: [Quinn is wearing an elaborate mopping device] What's with all the gear?
Quinn: Well, everybody else is a captain and is too busy giving orders to do any work.
Murphy: Hell on hockey skates, huh?
Murphy: [head appears in ventilation shaft] Psst! Hey!
Quinn: Hello?
Murphy: Down here!
Quinn: Hello... sir.
Murphy: [Quinn is wearing an elaborate mopping device] What's with all the gear?
Quinn: Well, everybody else is a captain and is too busy giving orders to do any work.
Murphy: Hell on hockey skates, huh?
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Murphy: Reactor core temperature is going critical.
Marco: I'm sealing off the core to drop the temperature back to safe levels.
Murphy: Wha--seal it off? But there's twenty men down there!
Marco: Si capitain, twenty lives to save two hundred. Those are odds I can live with.
Murphy: How dare you gamble with their souls!
[Pause. Someone yells "cut!" and it the "actors" step out of character to argue with the director on the set of Sealab 2021]
Director: You're putting no feeling into the script.
Murphy/Harry Goz: This script doesn't make any sense, I mean why is Murphy taking orders from Marco? It...
Director: Hey, hey, work with me here.
Marco: I'm sealing off the core to drop the temperature back to safe levels.
Murphy: Wha--seal it off? But there's twenty men down there!
Marco: Si capitain, twenty lives to save two hundred. Those are odds I can live with.
Murphy: How dare you gamble with their souls!
[Pause. Someone yells "cut!" and it the "actors" step out of character to argue with the director on the set of Sealab 2021]
Director: You're putting no feeling into the script.
Murphy/Harry Goz: This script doesn't make any sense, I mean why is Murphy taking orders from Marco? It...
Director: Hey, hey, work with me here.
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Murphy: Hey, give the five PhDs business a rest, will you? Nobody likes hubris.
Quinn: Excuse me?
Murphy: Have you learned nothing from Icarus? Antigone? Pantheus? Huh.
Quinn: Excuse me?
Murphy: Have you learned nothing from Icarus? Antigone? Pantheus? Huh.
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Marco: Uhhh...Beard-Guy! [who is still unconcious on the floor from Murphy's sucker-punch]
Murphy: Oh yeah... [begins to repeatedly punch unconcious Beard-Guy] How do you like me now, chinstrap?
Murphy: Oh yeah... [begins to repeatedly punch unconcious Beard-Guy] How do you like me now, chinstrap?
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Quinn: Ah!
Stormy: [Stormy's skeleton is reading the paper at the "non-captain's table"] Hey dude! Pull up a crate!
Debbie Love: Hey Quinn! Hey bony macaroni!
Stormy: What's up, gorgeous?
Debbie Love: Aw, I just hate to see you two sitting up at this shabby little table, sugar!
Stormy: I'm a skeleton!
Debbie Love: I don't know why you can't just swallow your pride and get an Article 4! [which promotes almost everyone to Captain]
Stormy: [Stormy's skeleton is reading the paper at the "non-captain's table"] Hey dude! Pull up a crate!
Debbie Love: Hey Quinn! Hey bony macaroni!
Stormy: What's up, gorgeous?
Debbie Love: Aw, I just hate to see you two sitting up at this shabby little table, sugar!
Stormy: I'm a skeleton!
Debbie Love: I don't know why you can't just swallow your pride and get an Article 4! [which promotes almost everyone to Captain]
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Quinn's Granny: And I want you to promise me-
Child Quinn: [crying] Yes ma'am.
Quinn's Granny: Always earn your own way in life. Especially if you grow up and work at some place called Sealab. Whatever that is.
Child Quinn: Yes ma'am.
Quinn's Granny: I smell toast. [dies]
Child Quinn: Grammy?
Landlord: You're being evicted. [A thief steals the faucet from outside the window.]
Child Quinn: [crying] Yes ma'am.
Quinn's Granny: Always earn your own way in life. Especially if you grow up and work at some place called Sealab. Whatever that is.
Child Quinn: Yes ma'am.
Quinn's Granny: I smell toast. [dies]
Child Quinn: Grammy?
Landlord: You're being evicted. [A thief steals the faucet from outside the window.]
TV Show: Sealab 2021
[rips off mask]
Shanks: That makes you more of a racist than I am.
John Bear: Well, normally that would be true,
[Rips off another mask]
But i am in fact a real Native American,
[puts on mask] pretending to be a white man
[puts on other mask], pretending to be a Native American, all to teach you about double reverse racism.
Shanks: And what is that...?
John Bear: That racism...is for the birds...
Shanks: That makes you more of a racist than I am.
John Bear: Well, normally that would be true,
[Rips off another mask]
But i am in fact a real Native American,
[puts on mask] pretending to be a white man
[puts on other mask], pretending to be a Native American, all to teach you about double reverse racism.
Shanks: And what is that...?
John Bear: That racism...is for the birds...
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Quinn: Hey, I'm still alive!
Murphy: You bet your buns you are.
Quinn: Captain?
Murphy: Daiquiri?
Alan: Hey Quinn.
Quinn: Alan?
Murphy: Alan and some of the guys built this [the giant robot they are in] in their spare time.
Alan: That's what those meetings were about.
Murphy: Yeah, we're like "Sealab sucks now!" So... you know.
Murphy: You bet your buns you are.
Quinn: Captain?
Murphy: Daiquiri?
Alan: Hey Quinn.
Quinn: Alan?
Murphy: Alan and some of the guys built this [the giant robot they are in] in their spare time.
Alan: That's what those meetings were about.
Murphy: Yeah, we're like "Sealab sucks now!" So... you know.
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Accountant: Yeah, about that... you remember how you bought the Six Million Dollar Man?
Dancing Bear: HELL YEAH! [pause] Ohhhh... And then he ran away. Nobody's catching him.
Dancing Bear: HELL YEAH! [pause] Ohhhh... And then he ran away. Nobody's catching him.
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Stormy: Hey, what happened to your Southern Accent?
Shanks: Eh, I dropped it. People kept thinking I was gay.
Lance: [Camp] Hey, baby! We missed you at the club last night.
Shanks: I'm not gay, Lance!
Lance: [Pirate Accent] Arrr, so we all be droppin' our accent now?
Shanks: Eh, I dropped it. People kept thinking I was gay.
Lance: [Camp] Hey, baby! We missed you at the club last night.
Shanks: I'm not gay, Lance!
Lance: [Pirate Accent] Arrr, so we all be droppin' our accent now?
TV Show: Sealab 2021
Stormy: Oh, he came with the sub. He's cool.
German submarine captain: *german* you're telling me!
Quinn: Does anyone here speak German?
GSC: Ja!
Quinn: Not you.
[pause]
GSC: *in german* I speak German.
Quinn: NOT YOU.
GSC: Vat?
Quinn: Shut up.
GSC: *pulls out Luger and fires it* SIEG HEIL! (translated in the subtitles as 'Victory Welfare')
German submarine captain: *german* you're telling me!
Quinn: Does anyone here speak German?
GSC: Ja!
Quinn: Not you.
[pause]
GSC: *in german* I speak German.
Quinn: NOT YOU.
GSC: Vat?
Quinn: Shut up.
GSC: *pulls out Luger and fires it* SIEG HEIL! (translated in the subtitles as 'Victory Welfare')
TV Show: Sealab 2021