Sherlock Quotes
Lestrade: Maybe it was in the case when you brought it back. And it fell out somewhere.
Sherlock Holmes: What? And I didn't notice it? Me?
Sherlock Holmes: What? And I didn't notice it? Me?
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: Bitterness is a paralytic. Love is a much more vicious motivator.
TV Show: Sherlock
Therapist: How’s your blog going?
Dr. Watson: Yeah, good. Very good.
Therapist: You haven’t written a word, have you?
John Watson: You just wrote ‘still has trust issues’.
Therapist: And you read my writing upside down. You see what I mean?
Dr. Watson: Yeah, good. Very good.
Therapist: You haven’t written a word, have you?
John Watson: You just wrote ‘still has trust issues’.
Therapist: And you read my writing upside down. You see what I mean?
TV Show: Sherlock
Molly Hooper: Listen, I was wondering. Maybe later when you’re finished—
Sherlock Holmes: You’re wearing lipstick. You weren’t wearing lipstick before.
Molly Hooper: I uh, I refreshed it a bit.
Sherlock Holmes: [beat.] Sorry. You were saying?
Molly Hooper: I was wondering if you’d like to have coffee?
Sherlock Holmes: Black, two sugars please. I’ll be upstairs.
[Sherlock leaves the room.]
Molly Hooper: ...Okay.
Sherlock Holmes: You’re wearing lipstick. You weren’t wearing lipstick before.
Molly Hooper: I uh, I refreshed it a bit.
Sherlock Holmes: [beat.] Sorry. You were saying?
Molly Hooper: I was wondering if you’d like to have coffee?
Sherlock Holmes: Black, two sugars please. I’ll be upstairs.
[Sherlock leaves the room.]
Molly Hooper: ...Okay.
TV Show: Sherlock
[In the back of a taxi.]
Sherlock Holmes: Okay, you've got questions.
John Watson: Yeah. Where are we going?
Sherlock Holmes: Crime scene. Next?
John Watson: Who are you? What do you do?
Sherlock Holmes: What do you think?
John Watson: I'd say private detective...
Sherlock Holmes: But...
John Watson: But the police don't go to private detectives.
Sherlock Holmes: I'm a consulting detective. The only one in the world. I invented the job.
John Watson: What does that mean?
Sherlock Holmes: It means whenever the police are out of their depth — which is always — they consult me.
John Watson: [scoffs.] The police don't consult amateurs.
[Sherlock looks at him askance, then gives a sly smile.]
Sherlock Holmes: When I met you for the first time yesterday, I said "Afghanistan or Iraq?" You looked surprised.
John Watson: Yes. How did you know?
Sherlock Holmes: I didn't know, I saw. Your haircut, the way you hold yourself, says military. The conversation as you entered the room — said trained at Bart's, so army doctor. Obvious. Your face is tanned, but no tan above the wrists — you've been abroad but not sunbathing. The limp's really bad when you walk, but you don't ask for a chair when you stand, like you've forgotten about it, so it's at least partly psychosomatic. That suggests the original circumstances of the injury were probably traumatic — wounded in action, then. Wounded in action, suntan — Afghanistan or Iraq.
John Watson: You said I had a therapist.
Sherlock Holmes: You've got a psychosomatic limp. Of course you've got a therapist. Then there's your brother. Your phone — it's expensive, email enabled, MP3 player. But you're looking for a flat-share, you wouldn't waste money on this. I
Sherlock Holmes: Okay, you've got questions.
John Watson: Yeah. Where are we going?
Sherlock Holmes: Crime scene. Next?
John Watson: Who are you? What do you do?
Sherlock Holmes: What do you think?
John Watson: I'd say private detective...
Sherlock Holmes: But...
John Watson: But the police don't go to private detectives.
Sherlock Holmes: I'm a consulting detective. The only one in the world. I invented the job.
John Watson: What does that mean?
Sherlock Holmes: It means whenever the police are out of their depth — which is always — they consult me.
John Watson: [scoffs.] The police don't consult amateurs.
[Sherlock looks at him askance, then gives a sly smile.]
Sherlock Holmes: When I met you for the first time yesterday, I said "Afghanistan or Iraq?" You looked surprised.
John Watson: Yes. How did you know?
Sherlock Holmes: I didn't know, I saw. Your haircut, the way you hold yourself, says military. The conversation as you entered the room — said trained at Bart's, so army doctor. Obvious. Your face is tanned, but no tan above the wrists — you've been abroad but not sunbathing. The limp's really bad when you walk, but you don't ask for a chair when you stand, like you've forgotten about it, so it's at least partly psychosomatic. That suggests the original circumstances of the injury were probably traumatic — wounded in action, then. Wounded in action, suntan — Afghanistan or Iraq.
John Watson: You said I had a therapist.
Sherlock Holmes: You've got a psychosomatic limp. Of course you've got a therapist. Then there's your brother. Your phone — it's expensive, email enabled, MP3 player. But you're looking for a flat-share, you wouldn't waste money on this. I
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: Shut up.
Lestrade: I didn't say anyth —
Sherlock Holmes: You were thinking. It's annoying.
Lestrade: I didn't say anyth —
Sherlock Holmes: You were thinking. It's annoying.
TV Show: Sherlock
Lestrade: Cardiff?
Sherlock Holmes: It’s obvious, isn’t it?
John Watson: It’s not obvious to me.
Sherlock Holmes: Dear God. What is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring.
Sherlock Holmes: It’s obvious, isn’t it?
John Watson: It’s not obvious to me.
Sherlock Holmes: Dear God. What is it like in your funny little brains? It must be so boring.
TV Show: Sherlock
John Watson: You don’t have a girlfriend, then?
Sherlock Holmes: Girlfriend? No, not really my area.
John Watson: Oh right then. [pause] Do you have a boyfriend? Which is fine, by the way —
Sherlock Holmes: I know it’s fine.
John Watson: So you’ve got a boyfriend?
Sherlock Holmes: No.
John Watson: Right, okay. You’re unattached, just like me. Fine. Good.
Sherlock Holmes: John, um... I think you should know that I consider myself married to my work and while I am flattered by your interest I’m —
John Watson: No —
Sherlock Holmes: — really not looking for anyone —
John Watson: No. I’m not asking — no. I was just saying. It’s all fine.
Sherlock Holmes: Good. Thank you.
Sherlock Holmes: Girlfriend? No, not really my area.
John Watson: Oh right then. [pause] Do you have a boyfriend? Which is fine, by the way —
Sherlock Holmes: I know it’s fine.
John Watson: So you’ve got a boyfriend?
Sherlock Holmes: No.
John Watson: Right, okay. You’re unattached, just like me. Fine. Good.
Sherlock Holmes: John, um... I think you should know that I consider myself married to my work and while I am flattered by your interest I’m —
John Watson: No —
Sherlock Holmes: — really not looking for anyone —
John Watson: No. I’m not asking — no. I was just saying. It’s all fine.
Sherlock Holmes: Good. Thank you.
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: Did he offer you money to spy on me...?
John Watson: Yes.
Sherlock Holmes: Did you take it?
John Watson: ...No.
Sherlock Holmes: Pity, we could've split the fee. Think it through next time.
John Watson: Yes.
Sherlock Holmes: Did you take it?
John Watson: ...No.
Sherlock Holmes: Pity, we could've split the fee. Think it through next time.
TV Show: Sherlock
Anderson: We found the case! According to someone, "the murderer has the case". And we found it in the hands of our favorite psychopath.
Sherlock Holmes: [with contempt] I'm not a psychopath, Anderson, I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.
Sherlock Holmes: [with contempt] I'm not a psychopath, Anderson, I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research.
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: Shut up everybody! Anderson, face the other way, you're putting me off!
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: Anderson, don't talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the entire street.
TV Show: Sherlock
Lestrade: But how..?
Sherlock Holmes: ... What do you mean how?
Lestrade: *shrugs*
Sherlock Holmes: Rachel! ... Don't you see? Rachel!
Everyone: ...
Sherlock Holmes: ... Ha. Look at you lot. You're all so vacant. Is it nice not being me? It must be so relaxing.
Sherlock Holmes: ... What do you mean how?
Lestrade: *shrugs*
Sherlock Holmes: Rachel! ... Don't you see? Rachel!
Everyone: ...
Sherlock Holmes: ... Ha. Look at you lot. You're all so vacant. Is it nice not being me? It must be so relaxing.
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: [sitting at entrance of ambulance as a paramedic throws a garish orange blanket over his shoulders] Why have I got this blanket? They keep putting this blanket on me!
Lestrade: Yeah, that's for shock.
Sherlock Holmes: I'm not in shock!
Lestrade: Yeah... but some of the guys want to take photographs.
Lestrade: Yeah, that's for shock.
Sherlock Holmes: I'm not in shock!
Lestrade: Yeah... but some of the guys want to take photographs.
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: Actually, you know what? Ignore me.
Lestrade: ... Sorry?
Sherlock Holmes: Ignore all of that. It's just the, uh, shock talking.
Lestrade: Wait, where are you going?
Sherlock Holmes: I just need to, uh, talk about the —
Lestrade: But I still have questions for you!
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, what now? I mean, I'm in shock! Look, I've got a blanket.
Lestrade: Sherlock!
Lestrade: ... Sorry?
Sherlock Holmes: Ignore all of that. It's just the, uh, shock talking.
Lestrade: Wait, where are you going?
Sherlock Holmes: I just need to, uh, talk about the —
Lestrade: But I still have questions for you!
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, what now? I mean, I'm in shock! Look, I've got a blanket.
Lestrade: Sherlock!
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: Good evening, Mycroft. Try not to start a war before I get home, you know what it does to the traffic.
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: Brilliant! Yes! Ah, four serial suicides and now a note, oh it's Christmas!
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: You took your time.
John Watson: Yeah, I didn't get the shopping.
Sherlock Holmes: What? Why not?
John Watson: Because I had a row... in the shop... with a chip and pin machine.
Sherlock Holmes: You had a row with a machine?
John Watson: Sort of. It sat there and I shouted abuse.
John Watson: Yeah, I didn't get the shopping.
Sherlock Holmes: What? Why not?
John Watson: Because I had a row... in the shop... with a chip and pin machine.
Sherlock Holmes: You had a row with a machine?
John Watson: Sort of. It sat there and I shouted abuse.
TV Show: Sherlock
Ms Wintle: Hello?
Sherlock Holmes: Hi, um, I live in the flat just below you. I don't think we've met!
Ms Wintle: No, well, er, I've just moved in.
Sherlock Holmes: Actually, I just locked my keys in my flat.
Ms Wintle: Do you want me to buzz you in?
Sherlock Holmes: Yeah... and can I use your balcony?
Ms Wintle: What?
Sherlock Holmes: Hi, um, I live in the flat just below you. I don't think we've met!
Ms Wintle: No, well, er, I've just moved in.
Sherlock Holmes: Actually, I just locked my keys in my flat.
Ms Wintle: Do you want me to buzz you in?
Sherlock Holmes: Yeah... and can I use your balcony?
Ms Wintle: What?
TV Show: Sherlock
[Watson enters]
Sherlock Holmes: I said 'Can you pass me a pen?'.
John Watson: What? When?
Sherlock Holmes: About an hour ago.
John Watson: Didn't notice I'd gone out then?
Sherlock Holmes: I said 'Can you pass me a pen?'.
John Watson: What? When?
Sherlock Holmes: About an hour ago.
John Watson: Didn't notice I'd gone out then?
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: We're looking for a killer who can climb.
DI Dimmock: Wh-what are you doing?
Sherlock Holmes: Clings to the walls like an insect. That's how he got in.
DI Dimmock: What?
Sherlock Holmes: Climbed up the side of the walls, ran along the roof, dropped in through this skylight.
DI Dimmock: You're not serious. Like Spider-Man?
DI Dimmock: Wh-what are you doing?
Sherlock Holmes: Clings to the walls like an insect. That's how he got in.
DI Dimmock: What?
Sherlock Holmes: Climbed up the side of the walls, ran along the roof, dropped in through this skylight.
DI Dimmock: You're not serious. Like Spider-Man?
TV Show: Sherlock
John Watson: Where are we headed?
Sherlock Holmes: I need to ask some advice.
John Watson: What? Sorry?
Sherlock Holmes: You heard me perfectly, I'm not saying it again.
Sherlock Holmes: I need to ask some advice.
John Watson: What? Sorry?
Sherlock Holmes: You heard me perfectly, I'm not saying it again.
TV Show: Sherlock
[Watson enters}
Sherlock Holmes: You've been a while.
John Watson: Yeah, well, you know how it is — custody sergeants don't really like to be hurried, do they? Just... formalities: fingerprints, chart sheet... and I've got to be in Magistrates' Court on Tuesday.
Sherlock Holmes: What?
John Watson: Me, Sherlock, in court on Tuesday. They're giving me an ASBO!
Sherlock Holmes: Good, fine.
Sherlock Holmes: You've been a while.
John Watson: Yeah, well, you know how it is — custody sergeants don't really like to be hurried, do they? Just... formalities: fingerprints, chart sheet... and I've got to be in Magistrates' Court on Tuesday.
Sherlock Holmes: What?
John Watson: Me, Sherlock, in court on Tuesday. They're giving me an ASBO!
Sherlock Holmes: Good, fine.
TV Show: Sherlock
DI Dimmock: Your friend...
John Watson: Listen, what ever you say, I'm behind you one hundred percent.
DI Dimmock: He's an arrogant sod.
John Watson: ...Well, that was mild.
John Watson: Listen, what ever you say, I'm behind you one hundred percent.
DI Dimmock: He's an arrogant sod.
John Watson: ...Well, that was mild.
TV Show: Sherlock
John Watson: I'm Sherlock Holmes and I always work alone, because no one else can compete with my massive intellect!
TV Show: Sherlock
[Sherlock has just recovered from being strangled into unconcsiousness, without Watson's knowledge]
John Watson: You've gone all croaky, you getting a cold?
Sherlock Holmes: [wheezes] I'm fine.
John Watson: You've gone all croaky, you getting a cold?
Sherlock Holmes: [wheezes] I'm fine.
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: John, concentrate. I need you to concentrate. Close your eyes.
John Watson: Wh-what? Why? Why? What are you doing?
Sherlock Holmes: I need you to maximise your visual memory. Try to picture what you saw. Can you picture it?
John Watson: Yeah...
Sherlock Holmes: Can you remember it?
John Watson: Yes, definitely!
Sherlock Holmes: You remember the pattern?
John Watson: Yes!
Sherlock Holmes: How much can you remember it?
John Watson: Well, don't worry!
Sherlock Holmes: Because the average human memory on visual matters is only 62% accurate.
John Watson: Yeah, well, don't worry, I remember all of it.
Sherlock Holmes: Really?
John Watson: Yeah, well, at least I would, if I could get to my pockets! Took a photograph...
John Watson: Wh-what? Why? Why? What are you doing?
Sherlock Holmes: I need you to maximise your visual memory. Try to picture what you saw. Can you picture it?
John Watson: Yeah...
Sherlock Holmes: Can you remember it?
John Watson: Yes, definitely!
Sherlock Holmes: You remember the pattern?
John Watson: Yes!
Sherlock Holmes: How much can you remember it?
John Watson: Well, don't worry!
Sherlock Holmes: Because the average human memory on visual matters is only 62% accurate.
John Watson: Yeah, well, don't worry, I remember all of it.
Sherlock Holmes: Really?
John Watson: Yeah, well, at least I would, if I could get to my pockets! Took a photograph...
TV Show: Sherlock
Sherlock Holmes: Fancy a biscuit with that?
[Soo Lin gasps and drops the teapot, Sherlock catches it]
Sherlock Holmes: Centuries old...don't want to break that...
[Soo Lin gasps and drops the teapot, Sherlock catches it]
Sherlock Holmes: Centuries old...don't want to break that...
TV Show: Sherlock