Snatch. Quotes
Turkish : What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?
Sausage Charlie : Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish : It was two minutes five minutes ago.
Sausage Charlie : Five minutes, Turkish.
Turkish : It was two minutes five minutes ago.
Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : I fail to recognize the correlation between losing ten grand, hospitalizing Gorgeous, and a good deal.
Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : [ looks at the caravan ] Look at it. How am I suppose to run this thing from that? We'll need a proper office. I want a new one, Tommy. You're going to buy it for me.
Tommy : Why me?
Turkish : Well, you know about caravans.
Tommy : How's that?
Turkish : You spent a summer in one, which means you know more than me. And I don't want to have my pants pulled down over the price.
Tommy : What's wrong with this one?
Turkish : [ Pulls the caravan's door from its hinges ] Oh, nothing, Tommy. It's tiptop. It's just I'm not sure about the colour.
Tommy : Why me?
Turkish : Well, you know about caravans.
Tommy : How's that?
Turkish : You spent a summer in one, which means you know more than me. And I don't want to have my pants pulled down over the price.
Tommy : What's wrong with this one?
Turkish : [ Pulls the caravan's door from its hinges ] Oh, nothing, Tommy. It's tiptop. It's just I'm not sure about the colour.
Movie: Snatch.
Pikey : Gimme that fucking shooter!
Pikey : I'll give you your shooter, ya cunt ya!
Pikey : [ Blam Blam ]
Pikey : I'll give you your shooter, ya cunt ya!
Pikey : [ Blam Blam ]
Movie: Snatch.
Policeman : So, what you doin here?
Turkish : I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?
Policeman : What's in the car?
Turkish : Seats and a steering wheel.
Turkish : I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?
Policeman : What's in the car?
Turkish : Seats and a steering wheel.
Movie: Snatch.
Mickey : Good dags. D'ya like dags?
Tommy : Dags?
Mickey : What?
Mrs. O'Neil : Yeah, dags.
Tommy : Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.
Tommy : Dags?
Mickey : What?
Mrs. O'Neil : Yeah, dags.
Tommy : Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.
Movie: Snatch.
Tyrone : I don't want that dog dribbling on my seats.
Vinny : Your seats? Tyrone, this is a stolen car, mate.
Vinny : Your seats? Tyrone, this is a stolen car, mate.
Movie: Snatch.
Vinny : [ Vinny brings a dog into the shop while Sol is examining a diamond for Bad Bay Lincoln ] Bad Boy. Sol.
Bad Boy Lincoln : Easy.
Sol : No, it's a moissanite.
Bad Boy Lincoln : A what-in-ite?
Sol : A moissanite is an artificial diamond, Lincoln. It's Mickey Mouse, mate. Spurious. Not genuine. And it's worth... fuck-all. [ he hands back the stone ]
Vinny : Bad Boy, I keep tellin' ya, stick to being a gangster. Leave this game to me and Sol.
Bad Boy Lincoln : Laters. [ he walks out ]
Sol : What is that, Vince?
Vinny : This is a dog, Sol.
Sol : You are NOT bringing that thing in here.
Vinny : What's your problem? It's only a fucking dog.
Sol : Where did you get it?
Vinny : The gyppos. Here. [ he tosses Sol a bag ]
Vinny : They threw it in with a load of moody gold. You know gyppos, Sol. They're always throwing dogs in with deals.
Sol : Well, it better not be dangerous. [ Vinny takes the dog off its leash ]
Sol : What do you think you're doing now?
Vinny : Well, I want him to get used to the shop, don't I? [ Boris opens the door and walks in; the dog runs out and Vinny takes off after it ]
Vinny : Oi! Oi, stop the dog! Come back here!
Sol : All right, Boris? Don't worry about the dog.
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : I'm not.
Sol : What can I do for you, Boris?
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : I have a job for you.
Sol : I already have a job.
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : Fifty grand for half day's work.
Sol : Go on.
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov<
Bad Boy Lincoln : Easy.
Sol : No, it's a moissanite.
Bad Boy Lincoln : A what-in-ite?
Sol : A moissanite is an artificial diamond, Lincoln. It's Mickey Mouse, mate. Spurious. Not genuine. And it's worth... fuck-all. [ he hands back the stone ]
Vinny : Bad Boy, I keep tellin' ya, stick to being a gangster. Leave this game to me and Sol.
Bad Boy Lincoln : Laters. [ he walks out ]
Sol : What is that, Vince?
Vinny : This is a dog, Sol.
Sol : You are NOT bringing that thing in here.
Vinny : What's your problem? It's only a fucking dog.
Sol : Where did you get it?
Vinny : The gyppos. Here. [ he tosses Sol a bag ]
Vinny : They threw it in with a load of moody gold. You know gyppos, Sol. They're always throwing dogs in with deals.
Sol : Well, it better not be dangerous. [ Vinny takes the dog off its leash ]
Sol : What do you think you're doing now?
Vinny : Well, I want him to get used to the shop, don't I? [ Boris opens the door and walks in; the dog runs out and Vinny takes off after it ]
Vinny : Oi! Oi, stop the dog! Come back here!
Sol : All right, Boris? Don't worry about the dog.
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : I'm not.
Sol : What can I do for you, Boris?
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : I have a job for you.
Sol : I already have a job.
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov : Fifty grand for half day's work.
Sol : Go on.
Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov<
Movie: Snatch.
Bullet Tooth Tony : I want to know who blagged Brick-Top's bookies.
Mullet : Do me a favor, Ton!
Bullet Tooth Tony : I will do you a favor, Mullet. I'll not get out of this car and bash the living fuck out of you in front of all your girlfriends. [ Mullet hunkers down to the car window ]
Mullet : Got to make it worth my while, mate. Jesus, Tony, you know that... [ Tony seizes his tie and rolls up the window, wedging Mullet's head in it ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : Comfortable, Mullet? It seems sadly ironic that it's that tie that's got you into this pickle. Now you just take all the time you want. [ He starts the car forward ]
Mullet : What the fuck are you doing, Ton?
Bullet Tooth Tony : I'm driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What do you think I'm doing, you pen-ass?
Mullet : Slow down, Ton.
Bullet Tooth Tony : [ sniffs ] You been using dogshit for toothpaste, Mullet?
Mullet : Slow down, Ton! Slow down, Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony : I don't think I'll slow down. I think I'll speed up. You can play some music if you like. [ He turns on the radio; Madonna's "Lucky Star" is playing ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : Oh, I love this track.
Mullet : I think...
Bullet Tooth Tony : Yes, Mullet?
Mullet : I think it's two black guys, in a pawn shop on Smith street.
Bullet Tooth Tony : You better not be telling me porky pies.
Mullet : I'm fucking telling you, it's two black guys who work off a pawn shop in fucking Smith Street!
Avi : That's very effective, Tony. It's not too subtle, but effective. [ Tony accelerates and turns toward Smith Street ]
Avi : Are we taking him with u
Mullet : Do me a favor, Ton!
Bullet Tooth Tony : I will do you a favor, Mullet. I'll not get out of this car and bash the living fuck out of you in front of all your girlfriends. [ Mullet hunkers down to the car window ]
Mullet : Got to make it worth my while, mate. Jesus, Tony, you know that... [ Tony seizes his tie and rolls up the window, wedging Mullet's head in it ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : Comfortable, Mullet? It seems sadly ironic that it's that tie that's got you into this pickle. Now you just take all the time you want. [ He starts the car forward ]
Mullet : What the fuck are you doing, Ton?
Bullet Tooth Tony : I'm driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What do you think I'm doing, you pen-ass?
Mullet : Slow down, Ton.
Bullet Tooth Tony : [ sniffs ] You been using dogshit for toothpaste, Mullet?
Mullet : Slow down, Ton! Slow down, Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony : I don't think I'll slow down. I think I'll speed up. You can play some music if you like. [ He turns on the radio; Madonna's "Lucky Star" is playing ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : Oh, I love this track.
Mullet : I think...
Bullet Tooth Tony : Yes, Mullet?
Mullet : I think it's two black guys, in a pawn shop on Smith street.
Bullet Tooth Tony : You better not be telling me porky pies.
Mullet : I'm fucking telling you, it's two black guys who work off a pawn shop in fucking Smith Street!
Avi : That's very effective, Tony. It's not too subtle, but effective. [ Tony accelerates and turns toward Smith Street ]
Avi : Are we taking him with u
Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : I can't make him fight, can I?
Brick Top : You're not much use to me alive are you, Turkish?
Brick Top : You're not much use to me alive are you, Turkish?
Movie: Snatch.
Errol : Fuckface, who's speaking to you? He asked him, didn't he?
Turkish : Fuckface... I like that one Errol. I'll have to remember that one next time I'm climbing off yer mum.
Turkish : Fuckface... I like that one Errol. I'll have to remember that one next time I'm climbing off yer mum.
Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : Well the rabbit gets fucked.
Tommy : [ pauses ] Proper fucked?
Turkish : Yes, before "Zee Germans" get there.
Tommy : [ pauses ] Proper fucked?
Turkish : Yes, before "Zee Germans" get there.
Movie: Snatch.
Mickey : Deadly kick for a fat fucker, ya know that?
Gorgeous George : [ throws Mickey into the fence ] Cheeky bastard!
Gorgeous George : [ throws Mickey into the fence ] Cheeky bastard!
Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : [ voice over ] Boris the Blade, or Boris "the Bullet Dodger." As bent as the Soviet sickle, and as hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's just impossible to kill the bastard.
Movie: Snatch.
[ Doug sees four Jewish kids smoking ]
Doug the Head : What are you doing?
Jewish Boy : [ spits ] It's a free country, ain't it?
Doug the Head : Well it ain't a free shop, is it? So fuck off!
Doug the Head : What are you doing?
Jewish Boy : [ spits ] It's a free country, ain't it?
Doug the Head : Well it ain't a free shop, is it? So fuck off!
Movie: Snatch.
Mickey : The deal was you bought it like you saw it. Hey, look, I've helped you as much as I'm going to help you. See that car? Just use it for you're not welcome anymore. You should fuck off now while you still got the legs to carry you.
Gorgeous George : Nobody...
Mickey : Nobody brings a fella the size of you unless they're trying to say something without talking, right boy?
Tommy : Sorry, Mickey. Just give our money back and you can keep the caravan.
Mickey : Why the fuck do I want a caravan that's got no fucking wheels? [ Gorgeous rushes Mickey ]
Mickey : You want to settle this with a fight?
Mrs. O'Neil : Over my dead body! Now, go on! Go on! I'll not have you fighting! You know what happens when you fight.
Mickey : Get her to sit down. For fuck's sake! Want the money? I ain't fucked you. I'll fight you for it. You and me.
Gorgeous George : Nobody...
Mickey : Nobody brings a fella the size of you unless they're trying to say something without talking, right boy?
Tommy : Sorry, Mickey. Just give our money back and you can keep the caravan.
Mickey : Why the fuck do I want a caravan that's got no fucking wheels? [ Gorgeous rushes Mickey ]
Mickey : You want to settle this with a fight?
Mrs. O'Neil : Over my dead body! Now, go on! Go on! I'll not have you fighting! You know what happens when you fight.
Mickey : Get her to sit down. For fuck's sake! Want the money? I ain't fucked you. I'll fight you for it. You and me.
Movie: Snatch.
[ after hearing about Bullet-Tooth Tony surviving after being shot six times ]
Cousin Avi : Six times?
Doug the Head : In one sitting.
Cousin Avi : Six times?
Doug the Head : In one sitting.
Movie: Snatch.
Alex Denovitz : What about Tony? [ Cut back and forth between Doug's office and a younger Tony in Charlie's brothel ]
Alex Denovitz : You know, Bullet Tooth Tony.
Avi : Who's Bullet Tooth...?
Charlie : Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony : You silly fuck.
Doug the Head : He's a liability.
Alex Denovitz : He'll find you Moses and the burning bush, if you pay him to.
Charlie : [ draws a gun ] You are gonna die, Tony!
Alex Denovitz : He got shot six times, had the bullets molded into gold. [ Charlie shoots Tony twice in the chest ]
Charlie : I shoot you, you go down!
Susi Denovitz : He's got two in his teeth that Dad did for him. So he loves Dad. [ Charlie shoots Tony three more times ]
Charlie : Why don't you fucking die!
Susi Denovitz : He's the best chance you got of finding Franky.
Avi : Six times? [ Charlie shoots Tony in the mouth ]
Doug the Head : In one sitting. [ Tony, blood dripping from his mouth, draws a saber ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : You're in trouble now!
Alex Denovitz : You know, Bullet Tooth Tony.
Avi : Who's Bullet Tooth...?
Charlie : Tony!
Bullet Tooth Tony : You silly fuck.
Doug the Head : He's a liability.
Alex Denovitz : He'll find you Moses and the burning bush, if you pay him to.
Charlie : [ draws a gun ] You are gonna die, Tony!
Alex Denovitz : He got shot six times, had the bullets molded into gold. [ Charlie shoots Tony twice in the chest ]
Charlie : I shoot you, you go down!
Susi Denovitz : He's got two in his teeth that Dad did for him. So he loves Dad. [ Charlie shoots Tony three more times ]
Charlie : Why don't you fucking die!
Susi Denovitz : He's the best chance you got of finding Franky.
Avi : Six times? [ Charlie shoots Tony in the mouth ]
Doug the Head : In one sitting. [ Tony, blood dripping from his mouth, draws a saber ]
Bullet Tooth Tony : You're in trouble now!
Movie: Snatch.
Mickey : I'll bet you for it.
Tommy : You'll what?
Pikeys : HE'LL BET YOU FOR IT!
Turkish : What, like Tommy did last time? Do me a favour?
Mickey : I'll do you a favour. You have first bet. If I win, I get a caravan... and the boys get a pair of them shoes. [ the Pikeys laugh at Turkish and Tommy, who are wearing plastic bags around their shoes ]
Mickey : If I lose... Oh fuck it, I'll do the fight for free.
Turkish : [ narrating ] Now the last thing I really wanna do is bet a pikey.
Tommy : You'll what?
Pikeys : HE'LL BET YOU FOR IT!
Turkish : What, like Tommy did last time? Do me a favour?
Mickey : I'll do you a favour. You have first bet. If I win, I get a caravan... and the boys get a pair of them shoes. [ the Pikeys laugh at Turkish and Tommy, who are wearing plastic bags around their shoes ]
Mickey : If I lose... Oh fuck it, I'll do the fight for free.
Turkish : [ narrating ] Now the last thing I really wanna do is bet a pikey.
Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : That six pound piece of shit stuck in your trousers would do more damage if you fed it to him.
Movie: Snatch.
Brick Top : You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.
Movie: Snatch.
Brick Top : You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.
Sol : Would someone mind telling me, who are you?
Brick Top : And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
Vinny : Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?
Sol : Would someone mind telling me, who are you?
Brick Top : And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
Vinny : Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?
Movie: Snatch.
Bullet Tooth Tony : I'm driving down the road with your head stuck in my window. What does it look like I'm doin'?
Movie: Snatch.
Sol : You ain't from this planet are you, Vincent? Who is gonna mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sat in a car that is worth less than your shirt?
Movie: Snatch.
[ first lines ]
Turkish : [ narrating ] My name is Turkish. Funny name for an Englishman, I know. My parents to be were on the same plane when it crashed. That's how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash. That's Tommy. He tells people he was named after a gun, but I know he was really named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.
Turkish : [ narrating ] My name is Turkish. Funny name for an Englishman, I know. My parents to be were on the same plane when it crashed. That's how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash. That's Tommy. He tells people he was named after a gun, but I know he was really named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.
Movie: Snatch.
Turkish : [ Tommy has a gun in his trousers ] What's to stop it blowing your bollocks off every time you sit down?
Movie: Snatch.