South Park Quotes
Randy: For what? Arresting me for what? I'm not allowed to stand up for myself? I thought this was America! Huh? Isn't this America? I'm sorry, I thought this was America.
TV Show: South Park
Pueblo's Dad: Vamanos Pueblo! Vive el Pueblo!
Randy: [takes out Spanish-English Dictionary] Pueblo no es bueno...Pueblo es muy mal.
Randy: [takes out Spanish-English Dictionary] Pueblo no es bueno...Pueblo es muy mal.
TV Show: South Park
Butters: Well you know, Preacher says before your soul can be at peace, sometimes you have to atone for something bad you did.
Cartman: Atone?
Butters: Did you ever do something really bad?
Cartman: [Thinking] Not really.
Cartman: Atone?
Butters: Did you ever do something really bad?
Cartman: [Thinking] Not really.
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: Let's see, oh and I broke Mr Anderson's fence and never told him about it, I took a crap in the Principal's purse - seven times, then there was the time I convinced a woman to have an abortion so I could build my own Shakey's Pizza, I pretended to be retarded and joined the Special Olympics, I tried to have all the Jews exterminated last spring... oh yeah there was this one kid whose parents I killed and them made into chili which I fed to the kid.
Butters: Boy oh boy, Eric you've got a lot to atone for.
Cartman: Really?
Butters: Really. I mean honestly, I don't know how you're going to make up for all of this.
Cartman: I know how... [He begins making gift baskets].
Butters: Boy oh boy, Eric you've got a lot to atone for.
Cartman: Really?
Butters: Really. I mean honestly, I don't know how you're going to make up for all of this.
Cartman: I know how... [He begins making gift baskets].
TV Show: South Park
Jimmy: Hey, fellas, where's Cartman?
Stan: Cartman isn't our friend anymore.
Kyle: We're ignoring him.
Token: Ignoring him, how come?
Kyle: Because he's a fat, racist, self-centered, intolerant, manipulating sociopath.
Token: Oh yeah.
Craig: Hey I hate Cartman too; can I ignore him with you?
Bradley and other boys off screen: Yeah / me too / yeah /screw him!
Francis : I never realised ignoring him was an option.
Stan: Cartman isn't our friend anymore.
Kyle: We're ignoring him.
Token: Ignoring him, how come?
Kyle: Because he's a fat, racist, self-centered, intolerant, manipulating sociopath.
Token: Oh yeah.
Craig: Hey I hate Cartman too; can I ignore him with you?
Bradley and other boys off screen: Yeah / me too / yeah /screw him!
Francis : I never realised ignoring him was an option.
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: Don't be sad, Butters: what awaits each person in heaven in eternal bliss, divine rest... and ten thousand dollars in cash.
Cartman[walking backwards slowly and gesturing as if fading out]: Good-bye Butters, I'm going to a better place. Perhaps I'll see you again some time. Good-bye...
Cartman[walking backwards slowly and gesturing as if fading out]: Good-bye Butters, I'm going to a better place. Perhaps I'll see you again some time. Good-bye...
TV Show: South Park
Cartman My soul is finally at peace. It's time for me to leave. Good-bye Butters, thank you for all your help. Good-byeee.
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: Goodbye, Butters, I must be going now. I'll be looking down on you from time to time. Have a long, fulfilling life Butters! Good-byeeeeeeeee...
TV Show: South Park
Mr. Mackey: [reading a note from the sex ed "question box"] "Mr. Mackey is gay." OK, kids, that's not funny, m'kay! This box is supposed to be used for serious questions, about serious issues, m'kay? Let's stop the tomfoolery. M'kay, let's look at a real one here. "Dear Mr. Mackey, you are gay." All right, all right, that is enough, kids! Let's quiet down and try to be mature, m'kay! Here we go, m'kay. "Mr. Mackey, sometimes my parents hit me...and you are gay." Dammit is there not one serious question in here?! [quietly going through notes] "Mr. Mackey's gay..." "Mr. Mackey's gay..." Okay, here: "I am a boy at South Park Elementary. Sometimes when I'm sitting in class, my penis becomes hard for no reason. What should I do?"
TV Show: South Park
Ike: [singing] I have a Yankee Doodle sweetheart, she's my Yankee Doodle girl. 'Ankee Doodle came to London, just to ride the ponies! I am da Yankee Doodle, I am da Yankee Doodle, I am da Yankee Doodle boy!
TV Show: South Park
Butters: 'Ey, who's droppin' bombs in there?! How 'bout a courtesy flush?!
Cartman: Up yours, Butters!
Cartman: Up yours, Butters!
TV Show: South Park
Gerald: Maybe we should strip these jackets off and warm our bodies next to each other.
Randy: Don't be a fag!
Randy: Don't be a fag!
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Dude! Dude, did you see the news last night?
Cartman: Yeah.
Stan: You saw all those people trapped on their roofs?
Cartman: Yeah, that was pretty funny.
Cartman: Yeah.
Stan: You saw all those people trapped on their roofs?
Cartman: Yeah, that was pretty funny.
TV Show: South Park
Randy: [draws a line near near the bottom of a USA map] Everyone below this line will have to be evacuated to the South... [draws another line further up] Everyone above this line is already dead. [draws two horizontal lines in between the two verticals] People like us in the middle states will have to ride it out... [draws a sphere] People in the balmy south-western states might have a chance, but [draws a small horizontal line between and at the end of the two horizontals] New York will have tidal waves that will envelop the north-east. [draws a circle, making the diagram resemble a penis and testicles]
[long pause; a man stifles a snigger]
Randy: What, Frank?
[he continues to snigger and points to Randy's penis-shaped diagram]
Randy: [looks at it a moment and realizes] Aw! Oh, goddammit. [draws a squiggle to cover it]
[long pause; a man stifles a snigger]
Randy: What, Frank?
[he continues to snigger and points to Randy's penis-shaped diagram]
Randy: [looks at it a moment and realizes] Aw! Oh, goddammit. [draws a squiggle to cover it]
TV Show: South Park
Stan: Global Warming didn't destroy the dam....I know who did.
Kyle: Terrorists?
Stan: No...
Kyle: George Bush?
Stan: No...
Kyle: Chinese Radicals?
Stan: No...
Kyle: Communists?
Stan: No...
[brief pause]
Kyle: ...Cartman?
Stan: ...kind of.
Kyle: CARTMAN BROKE THE DAM?!
Kyle: Terrorists?
Stan: No...
Kyle: George Bush?
Stan: No...
Kyle: Chinese Radicals?
Stan: No...
Kyle: Communists?
Stan: No...
[brief pause]
Kyle: ...Cartman?
Stan: ...kind of.
Kyle: CARTMAN BROKE THE DAM?!
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: Give me your Jew gold now!
Kyle: Goddammit, you know I don't carry gold in a little bag around my neck, Cartman. What do you want from me?
Cartman: I want your Jew gold.
Kyle: Goddammit, you know I don't carry gold in a little bag around my neck, Cartman. What do you want from me?
Cartman: I want your Jew gold.
TV Show: South Park
Angry Man: It's George Bush's fault!
Another Man: Yeah! George Bush doesn't care about beavers!
Another Man: Yeah! George Bush doesn't care about beavers!
TV Show: South Park
Stan: It's MY fault. I broke the dam.
[long pause]
Cartman: Aw, man...
Sharon Marsh: ...Stanley...you?
Man: No. Don't you see what this child is saying? We can't spend all our energy placing blame when something bad happens. He's saying...we all broke the dam.
Stan: No. I broke the dam.
Woman: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: No. I broke the dam.
Woman: And I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Cartman: Hehe...I broke the dam!
Man: I broke the dam.
Woman: I broke the dam.
Stan: [trying to insist] I broke the dam. I ran a boat into the dam and I broke it.
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: No! I broke the fucking dam!
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: I literally broke the dam!
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: On a boat! That wasn't mine!
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: I kept it secret for two days!
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: The boat caught on fire and it exploded!
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: Aw, fuck it!
[long pause]
Cartman: Aw, man...
Sharon Marsh: ...Stanley...you?
Man: No. Don't you see what this child is saying? We can't spend all our energy placing blame when something bad happens. He's saying...we all broke the dam.
Stan: No. I broke the dam.
Woman: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: No. I broke the dam.
Woman: And I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Cartman: Hehe...I broke the dam!
Man: I broke the dam.
Woman: I broke the dam.
Stan: [trying to insist] I broke the dam. I ran a boat into the dam and I broke it.
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: No! I broke the fucking dam!
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: I literally broke the dam!
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: On a boat! That wasn't mine!
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: I kept it secret for two days!
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: The boat caught on fire and it exploded!
Man: I broke the dam.
Man: I broke the dam.
Stan: Aw, fuck it!
TV Show: South Park
Cartman: Ah, gentlemen, thank you for coming. We don't have a lot of time, so I'll cut to the chase. The girls at our school have been hiding something from us; hiding something huge.
Craig: What?
Cartman: What if I were to tell you that the girls have a device which allows them to see into the future?
Stan: What?
Butters: How do you know?
Kyle: The girls do not have a device that shows them the future, Cartman. That's retarded.
Clyde: [with a faux British accent] You, sir, mocked Cartman before. Yet you too sit here demanding answers. Now damn you, let him speak!
[pause]
Cartman: Thank you, Clyde.
Craig: What?
Cartman: What if I were to tell you that the girls have a device which allows them to see into the future?
Stan: What?
Butters: How do you know?
Kyle: The girls do not have a device that shows them the future, Cartman. That's retarded.
Clyde: [with a faux British accent] You, sir, mocked Cartman before. Yet you too sit here demanding answers. Now damn you, let him speak!
[pause]
Cartman: Thank you, Clyde.
TV Show: South Park
Mrs. Garrison: Why don't you tell the children a little about yourself, Marjorine?
Marjorine: I'm just a typical little girl. I like dancing, and ponies, and getting my snootch pounded on Friday nights.
Clyde: Nice.
Mrs. Garrison: Now, Marjorine, that's not very ladylike. Us Colorado girls love to get pounded in the snizz just like any woman, but we keep it to ourselves.
Marjorine: I'm just a typical little girl. I like dancing, and ponies, and getting my snootch pounded on Friday nights.
Clyde: Nice.
Mrs. Garrison: Now, Marjorine, that's not very ladylike. Us Colorado girls love to get pounded in the snizz just like any woman, but we keep it to ourselves.
TV Show: South Park