SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
Squidward: SpongeBob, this is the final straw. I'm going to move so far away that I will be able to brag about it. I would... [A piece of debris from his house falls on his head] I would rather tear out my brain-stem, carry it out into the middle of the nearest four-way intersection, and skip rope with it, than go on living where I do now.
[A TV falls on the ground]
Announcer: Hi, there! Is this the final straw? Do you want to move so far away that you can brag about it? Would you rather tear out your brain-stem, walk out to the middle of the nearest three-way...
Squidward: Four-way!
Announcer: ...four-way intersection and skip rope with it, than continue living where you do now? Then move to...
Patrick: [changes the channel] I hate this channel.
Squidward: No, NO! [changes it back]
Announcer: ...Tentacle Acres! Where happiness is just a suction cup away!
[A TV falls on the ground]
Announcer: Hi, there! Is this the final straw? Do you want to move so far away that you can brag about it? Would you rather tear out your brain-stem, walk out to the middle of the nearest three-way...
Squidward: Four-way!
Announcer: ...four-way intersection and skip rope with it, than continue living where you do now? Then move to...
Patrick: [changes the channel] I hate this channel.
Squidward: No, NO! [changes it back]
Announcer: ...Tentacle Acres! Where happiness is just a suction cup away!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [hugging a squid that looks like Squidward from the back] Squidward, we finally found you.
Squid: Get off me! I'm not Squidward!
[There is a brief pause]
Patrick: Are you Squidward now?
Squid: Get off me! I'm not Squidward!
[There is a brief pause]
Patrick: Are you Squidward now?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob and Patrick approach Tentacle Acres]
SpongeBob: Here it is, Patrick. Now we just gotta convince Squidward to come back home. You got our apology cake?
[Patrick holds up a large cake with the word "Sorry" written on it in icing. He keeps the cake safe in his pants]
SpongeBob: We're ready!
Patrick: Ying!
SpongeBob: Here it is, Patrick. Now we just gotta convince Squidward to come back home. You got our apology cake?
[Patrick holds up a large cake with the word "Sorry" written on it in icing. He keeps the cake safe in his pants]
SpongeBob: We're ready!
Patrick: Ying!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Voice of Security Guard: Hello, can I help you?
Patrick: Can I get a large number one, extra-sized?
SpongeBob: But you just ate three orders of fried oyster skins.
Patrick: [with foul breath] I love fried oyster skins.
Security Guard: We're sorry, but your kind isn't allowed here. [turns to his partner] He's not leaving, Orville. You got your nightstick ready?
[Patrick's putrid breath wafts under their noses]
Security Guard: Fried oyster skins?!
[Both keel over in a dead faint. One security guard hits his head on the button that opens the front gate, allowing SpongeBob and Patrick to enter the city]
Patrick: Guess we have to order inside.
Patrick: Can I get a large number one, extra-sized?
SpongeBob: But you just ate three orders of fried oyster skins.
Patrick: [with foul breath] I love fried oyster skins.
Security Guard: We're sorry, but your kind isn't allowed here. [turns to his partner] He's not leaving, Orville. You got your nightstick ready?
[Patrick's putrid breath wafts under their noses]
Security Guard: Fried oyster skins?!
[Both keel over in a dead faint. One security guard hits his head on the button that opens the front gate, allowing SpongeBob and Patrick to enter the city]
Patrick: Guess we have to order inside.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [to a random squid] Are you Squidward?
SpongeBob: [to a random squid] Are you Squidward?
Patrick: [to a fire hydrant] Are you Squidward? ... That's okay, take your time.
SpongeBob: Any one of these Squidwards could be the real Squidward!
[They see Squidward flying out of Tentacle Acres using a reefblower as a jetpack]
SpongeBob: Well, we know one thing...it sure isn't that guy!
SpongeBob: [to a random squid] Are you Squidward?
Patrick: [to a fire hydrant] Are you Squidward? ... That's okay, take your time.
SpongeBob: Any one of these Squidwards could be the real Squidward!
[They see Squidward flying out of Tentacle Acres using a reefblower as a jetpack]
SpongeBob: Well, we know one thing...it sure isn't that guy!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: This city needs to be destroyed! ... Or at least painted a different color.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Spongebob: Look at all that warm, toasty, fur
Patrick: It's like a gold mine, but with fur
Patrick: It's like a gold mine, but with fur
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Sandy: Status report!
Fish: He's not in the sea urchin cove....
Sandy: Well look again!
Fish 2: He's not at the leech farm....
Sandy: Well look again!
Squidward: He's not in my thoughts
Sandy: Well think again!!!
Fish: He's not in the sea urchin cove....
Sandy: Well look again!
Fish 2: He's not at the leech farm....
Sandy: Well look again!
Squidward: He's not in my thoughts
Sandy: Well think again!!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: How about a break? We've been at it for days!
Fish: Think about the children!
Sandy: That's a good idea! Use the children to get to places you couldn't normally reach!
Fish: Think about the children!
Sandy: That's a good idea! Use the children to get to places you couldn't normally reach!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Fish: Oh wait, uh, here he is! [picks up random fish]
Sandy: That ain't spongebob. Spongebob is square?
Fish: [squeezes random fish into a square]
Random fish: I'm ready, I'm ready
Sandy: No you ain't
Random fish: [holding a cereal box] I found Squarebob!
Sandy: That's just a cereal box! Besides, he's yellow!
Random fish: [holding a banana] Uh, here he is! Can I go home now?
Sandy: That ain't spongebob. Spongebob is square?
Fish: [squeezes random fish into a square]
Random fish: I'm ready, I'm ready
Sandy: No you ain't
Random fish: [holding a cereal box] I found Squarebob!
Sandy: That's just a cereal box! Besides, he's yellow!
Random fish: [holding a banana] Uh, here he is! Can I go home now?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [when Sandy says they're going to bike through the park] Gee! That sounds safe! I mean fun.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Everyone in Bikini Bottom is hiding under Patrick's house after Sandy goes on a rampage]
Patrick: [looks at all the eyes sticking out from under his rock] WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!
Patrick: [looks at all the eyes sticking out from under his rock] WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
'"Sandy"': Spongebob's tie? And all his other little dressin's? But...Spongebob always folds his clothes before running around...IN THE NUDE!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: We've got to move fast and cover our tracks!
[Patrick holds a painbrush covered in red paint on the ground behind him as he runs, to paint over their footprints]
Patrick: I'm on it, SpongeBob!
[Patrick holds a painbrush covered in red paint on the ground behind him as he runs, to paint over their footprints]
Patrick: I'm on it, SpongeBob!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: We can never go home, Pat; We’re wanted men. We’ll spend the rest of our lives running...running, but at least it’s warmer on the fire.
Patrick: Hey, if we’re underwater, how could there be a...
[The fire dissolves]
Patrick: I’m scared, SpongeBob.
Patrick: Hey, if we’re underwater, how could there be a...
[The fire dissolves]
Patrick: I’m scared, SpongeBob.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mother: Don't stand too close to a squirrel, Billy. You'll catch its stupid!
Billy: [being dragged away] Okay, Mom.
Sandy: Stupidity isn't a virus. But it sure is spreadin' like one!
Billy: [being dragged away] Okay, Mom.
Sandy: Stupidity isn't a virus. But it sure is spreadin' like one!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Oh, and crabs... they're so cheap, they can't even PAY attention!
Mister Krabs: It's true, I am cheap!
Mister Krabs: It's true, I am cheap!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[SpongeBob holds up two candy bars]
SpongeBob: Look what I've got!
Patrick: Rectangles!
SpongeBob: Not just rectangles. Candy bars! [gives Patrick a candy bar] All we have to do is make them last the rest of our lives.
Patrick: Thanks, SpongeBob. I think I'll eat it now! [Patrick eats it in one bite and pauses for a few seconds] I think I'll eat it now! [goes to eat a non-existent chocolate bar and bites his hand instead] Ow! Wha...? [sees his hand has nothing in it] Where did my candy bar go? I must have dropped it!
SpongeBob: You just ate it, Patrick. It's all over your face.
Patrick: Where did it go? [grunting] I can't find it! Where could it possibly be? [looks up, sees SpongeBob holding a candy bar] Aha!
SpongeBob: What?
Patrick: You stole my candy bar!
SpongeBob: Look what I've got!
Patrick: Rectangles!
SpongeBob: Not just rectangles. Candy bars! [gives Patrick a candy bar] All we have to do is make them last the rest of our lives.
Patrick: Thanks, SpongeBob. I think I'll eat it now! [Patrick eats it in one bite and pauses for a few seconds] I think I'll eat it now! [goes to eat a non-existent chocolate bar and bites his hand instead] Ow! Wha...? [sees his hand has nothing in it] Where did my candy bar go? I must have dropped it!
SpongeBob: You just ate it, Patrick. It's all over your face.
Patrick: Where did it go? [grunting] I can't find it! Where could it possibly be? [looks up, sees SpongeBob holding a candy bar] Aha!
SpongeBob: What?
Patrick: You stole my candy bar!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Liar liar, plants for hire!
SpongeBob: It's "pants on fire," Patrick.
Patrick: Well, you would know...liar!
SpongeBob: It's "pants on fire," Patrick.
Patrick: Well, you would know...liar!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Did I Patrick? Did I? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Police: If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. [locks SpongeBob and Patrick in jail cell and opens it again after a second] Okay, time's up. Now get out!
SpongeBob: But...we stole a balloon!
Police: Yeah, on free balloon day!
SpongeBob: But...we stole a balloon!
Police: Yeah, on free balloon day!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
mr crabs: me can't believe anyone would celebrate a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house and leaves gifts.
Patrick: Like a genie.
Patrick: Like a genie.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [trying to get Squidward to join them in all the Christmas fun] C'mon Squidward!, What have you got to lose?
Squidward: My sanity, my dignity, my self-respect, my lunch.
Squidward: My sanity, my dignity, my self-respect, my lunch.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: What did you wish for?
Mr. Krabs: A pony.
SpongeBob: Really?
Mr. Krabs: With saddlebags full of money!
Mr. Krabs: A pony.
SpongeBob: Really?
Mr. Krabs: With saddlebags full of money!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: [to Squidward, who is disguised as Santa Claus] I knew you would come, Santa! Hey, Santa, where's your big, round belly?
Squidward: Uh, that is a part of, um, undersea pressure on my body.
SpongeBob: Where's your reindeer and your big flying machine?
Squidward: Uh, I loaned them to the Easter bunny.
SpongeBob: Hey, Santa, where's your big nose? [pulls down Squidward's nose] I knew you were supposed to have a big one, but that thing's gigantic! [laughs]
Squidward: [holds his nose] Alright, alright, I'm Santa!
SpongeBob: Santa! This is the greatest gift you could have given me. Thank you, for bringing Christmas to Bikini Bottom.
Squidward: I didn't bring Christmas to Bikini Bottom, Spongebob. You did. [pats Spongebob]
SpongeBob: I...did? Ohhh... [faints, he is taken back home by Gary]
Squidward: Uh, that is a part of, um, undersea pressure on my body.
SpongeBob: Where's your reindeer and your big flying machine?
Squidward: Uh, I loaned them to the Easter bunny.
SpongeBob: Hey, Santa, where's your big nose? [pulls down Squidward's nose] I knew you were supposed to have a big one, but that thing's gigantic! [laughs]
Squidward: [holds his nose] Alright, alright, I'm Santa!
SpongeBob: Santa! This is the greatest gift you could have given me. Thank you, for bringing Christmas to Bikini Bottom.
Squidward: I didn't bring Christmas to Bikini Bottom, Spongebob. You did. [pats Spongebob]
SpongeBob: I...did? Ohhh... [faints, he is taken back home by Gary]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Patrick approaches SpongeBob, but is distracted by Sandy standing nearby]
Patrick: [to Sandy, voice is slow and exaggerated/drwn-out] Hhhheeeellllooooo...... Sssannnnddddyyyyy........ mmeeeee Ppaaaaattricckkk...doooooooo yoooouuuuu un-der...staaaaaaaaaaand?
Patrick: [to Sandy, voice is slow and exaggerated/drwn-out] Hhhheeeellllooooo...... Sssannnnddddyyyyy........ mmeeeee Ppaaaaattricckkk...doooooooo yoooouuuuu un-der...staaaaaaaaaaand?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants