SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes
[SpongeBob accidentally swallows a bit of eraser shaving, and quickly runs for water]
SpongeBob: [breathing deeply] That was a close one!
Gary: Meow.
Spongebob: [frowning] What do you mean, "overly dramatic," Gary?
SpongeBob: [breathing deeply] That was a close one!
Gary: Meow.
Spongebob: [frowning] What do you mean, "overly dramatic," Gary?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: What?! I called to have an engaging conversation with you.
Patrick: [over the phone] Okay, I'm listening.
SpongeBob: Uhhh...Marco.
Patrick: Polo. [hangs up]
Patrick: [over the phone] Okay, I'm listening.
SpongeBob: Uhhh...Marco.
Patrick: Polo. [hangs up]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: You know something, SpongeBob, it's all fun and games for you! Nothing really matters! [sarcastically] Oh, let's go jellyfishing! We don't have any work to do! [angrily] Life's just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews, and nobody has anything to dust, or to clean, or to wipe-- [getting increasingly worked up] --OR FABRICATE!
SpongeBob: [gently] But Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate.
[Patrick looks at SpongeBob for a split second, then falls at his feet and breaks down into tears]
SpongeBob: Patrick! You've forgotten how to eat again! I'll get the funnel!
Patrick: No, it's not that
Spongebob: Darn, I like the funnel
SpongeBob: [gently] But Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate.
[Patrick looks at SpongeBob for a split second, then falls at his feet and breaks down into tears]
SpongeBob: Patrick! You've forgotten how to eat again! I'll get the funnel!
Patrick: No, it's not that
Spongebob: Darn, I like the funnel
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
Marty: Son, you actually recognized us this time!
Patrick: Why wouldn't I recognize my own parents?
Marty: You never were a bright one.
Patrick: Uh...
Marty: Well, aren't you gonna show us inside?
Janet: He probably forgot where it is
Marty: Son, you actually recognized us this time!
Patrick: Why wouldn't I recognize my own parents?
Marty: You never were a bright one.
Patrick: Uh...
Marty: Well, aren't you gonna show us inside?
Janet: He probably forgot where it is
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Marty: Does he always do that after he eats?
Patrick: Only on Wednesday
Patrick: Only on Wednesday
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Patrick, if your parents think your stupid then they must not know what stupid really is.
Patrick: But don't they watch television?
Patrick: But don't they watch television?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: If your parents saw a real stupid person they would realize how much of a genius you are.
Patrick: But don't geniuses live in a lamp?
Patrick: But don't geniuses live in a lamp?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are. [drools]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: What?! No! I have a brain! See, here's a picture of it! [takes out a small picture of his brain]
Patrick: That must be actual size! [laughs with Marty and Janet]
SpongeBob: No, it's normal size and fully functional! See! [draws math problem on a chalkboard] Two plus two equals four!
Marty: You taught him math, too!
SpongeBob: NO!
Marty: And you taught him to sing!"
Patrick: That must be actual size! [laughs with Marty and Janet]
SpongeBob: No, it's normal size and fully functional! See! [draws math problem on a chalkboard] Two plus two equals four!
Marty: You taught him math, too!
SpongeBob: NO!
Marty: And you taught him to sing!"
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Oh, no, Patrick! You forgot how to eat again! I'll go get the funnel!
Patrick: No SpongeBob, it's not that.
SpongeBob: Darn! I like the funnel.
Patrick: No SpongeBob, it's not that.
SpongeBob: Darn! I like the funnel.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Marty: Isn't that right, Janet?
Janet: You bet, Marty!
Patrick: Janet? Marty? Who are you people?!
Janet: Marty, I'm scared!
Janet: You bet, Marty!
Patrick: Janet? Marty? Who are you people?!
Janet: Marty, I'm scared!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: They've been banging on my door asking, "Where's Patrick?" all day! It's driving me nuts!
Marty: Oh-ho, yeah! I forgot. We don't have a son. [he and Janet walk away]
Marty: Oh-ho, yeah! I forgot. We don't have a son. [he and Janet walk away]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: I got this letter from my parents. [hands spongebob a piece of paper]
Spongebob: There is. [flips the paper over and there is the letter B]
Patrick: And look on the back, there's note. [Spongebob flips paper over and there is a music note]
Spongebob: You're right.
Patrick: And I got this message from my parents. [hands spongebob another piece of paper]
Spongebob: There is. [flips the paper over and there is the letter B]
Patrick: And look on the back, there's note. [Spongebob flips paper over and there is a music note]
Spongebob: You're right.
Patrick: And I got this message from my parents. [hands spongebob another piece of paper]
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Hello customers. Nice [dolphin chirps] day we're having, huh?
Sailor: [gasps] Did he just say...
Pirate: Aye, he did.
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, how the [dolphin chirps] are ya?
Patrick: Pretty [dolphin chirps] good SpongeBob.
Sailor: [gasps] Did he just say...
Pirate: Aye, he did.
SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick, how the [dolphin chirps] are ya?
Patrick: Pretty [dolphin chirps] good SpongeBob.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: What, what, what?
SpongeBob: Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!
Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?
SpongeBob: He said, he said, he said!
Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy!
SpongeBob: Me and Patrick were playing Eels and Escelators and he was going up up up and I had to ride the eels and then we ran and Patrick he said some things.
Mr. Krabs: What kind of things?
SpongeBob: Well...
Mr. Krabs: Yes?
SpongeBob: Well, um, let's just say he said a certain word that you said he shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be word #11 on a list of 13 words that you said shouldn't be said!
Mr. Krabs: Uh, right, what was that part about what, what, the...uh...about...who now?
Mr. Krabs: What, what, what?
SpongeBob: Patrick, Patrick, Patrick!
Mr. Krabs: Yes, yes, yes?
SpongeBob: He said, he said, he said!
Mr. Krabs: Out with it, boy!
SpongeBob: Me and Patrick were playing Eels and Escelators and he was going up up up and I had to ride the eels and then we ran and Patrick he said some things.
Mr. Krabs: What kind of things?
SpongeBob: Well...
Mr. Krabs: Yes?
SpongeBob: Well, um, let's just say he said a certain word that you said he shouldn't say, and this particular word happens to be word #11 on a list of 13 words that you said shouldn't be said!
Mr. Krabs: Uh, right, what was that part about what, what, the...uh...about...who now?
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Mr. Krabs finds, to his utmost horror, that the Krusty Krab is deserted]
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, where have all me beautiful paying customers gone?
Squidward: [gesturing toward Spongebob and Patrick] Apparently, the two barnacle-mouth brothers just learned a new word. And SpongeBob just said it over the intercom.
Mr. Krabs: Squidward, where have all me beautiful paying customers gone?
Squidward: [gesturing toward Spongebob and Patrick] Apparently, the two barnacle-mouth brothers just learned a new word. And SpongeBob just said it over the intercom.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
[Mr. Krabs hits his foot on a rock]
Mr. Krabs: [wailing in pain] Oh my [dolphin chirps] foot! What [dolphin chirps] genius put a [dolphin chirps] rock in the [dolphin chirps] path?! Can't ya see I gotta [air horn] foot here?! Aw [seal yelps]! Ah [toot; seagull chirps]! [SpongeBob is counting the bad words][low pitched fog horn] A whole lotta [second low pitched horn]! For this I [dolphin chirps] that I even have it a [bell and horn] boat load of [long low pitched horn]! Ah [seal yelps twice; seagull chirps] grabbin' [fog horn]! [starts bawling]
SpongeBob: That's all thirteen, Patrick! [gasps] We're gonna tell your mom, Mr. Krabs!
Mr. Krabs: [wailing in pain] Oh my [dolphin chirps] foot! What [dolphin chirps] genius put a [dolphin chirps] rock in the [dolphin chirps] path?! Can't ya see I gotta [air horn] foot here?! Aw [seal yelps]! Ah [toot; seagull chirps]! [SpongeBob is counting the bad words][low pitched fog horn] A whole lotta [second low pitched horn]! For this I [dolphin chirps] that I even have it a [bell and horn] boat load of [long low pitched horn]! Ah [seal yelps twice; seagull chirps] grabbin' [fog horn]! [starts bawling]
SpongeBob: That's all thirteen, Patrick! [gasps] We're gonna tell your mom, Mr. Krabs!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mama Krabs: Oh, dear, my poor old heart.
[Mr. Krabs catches his mother in his arms as she keels over in a dead faint]
Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Oh, dear Mother, what have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you? [secretly takes a nickel from his mother and pockets it, then rounds angrily on SpongeBob and Patrick] You two should be ashamed, making an old lady faint with your sailor talk!
[All at once Mama Krabs opens her eyes and pulls away from her son]
Mama Krabs: [sternly] You should all be ashamed! And if you're going to talk like sailors, then you're going to work like sailors.
[Mr. Krabs catches his mother in his arms as she keels over in a dead faint]
Mr. Krabs: [gasps] Oh, dear Mother, what have these foul-mouthed heathens done to you? [secretly takes a nickel from his mother and pockets it, then rounds angrily on SpongeBob and Patrick] You two should be ashamed, making an old lady faint with your sailor talk!
[All at once Mama Krabs opens her eyes and pulls away from her son]
Mama Krabs: [sternly] You should all be ashamed! And if you're going to talk like sailors, then you're going to work like sailors.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: First, I draw this head, then erase some of the more detailed features, and one, two, three, a circle, uh, thingy.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Squidward: Now repeat after me. I have no talent.
SpongeBob: I have no talent.
Squidward: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
SpongeBob: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
Squidward: If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacle's talent will rub off on me.
SpongeBob: If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent will rub his tentacles on my art.
SpongeBob: I have no talent.
Squidward: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
SpongeBob: Mr. Tentacles has all the talent.
Squidward: If I'm lucky, some of Mr. Tentacle's talent will rub off on me.
SpongeBob: If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent will rub his tentacles on my art.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
SpongeBob: Really?
Squidward: Really.
SpongeBob: Really?
Squidward: Really.
SpongeBob: Really?
Squidward: REALLY!
SpongeBob: Wow. Really?
Squidward: Let's go.
Squidward: Really.
SpongeBob: Really?
Squidward: Really.
SpongeBob: Really?
Squidward: REALLY!
SpongeBob: Wow. Really?
Squidward: Let's go.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: D'oh, c'mon, you're just flipping patties.
SpongeBob: Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds!
[Patrick flips over a rock with his foot and makes a sizzling noise]
SpongeBob: Why don't you go home Patrick, you can compete in the "Laying Under A Rock All Day" games!
Patrick: [shocked] Well at least I don't polish my fingernails!
SpongeBob: [gasps] You take that back! [a gleam shows at the tip of his fingernails]
Patrick: [mocking] Fingernails, fingernails, fingernails!
SpongeBob: You don't even have fingernails!
Patrick: [shocked] I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I AM HEARING!
SpongeBob: HOW CAN YOU HEAR IT?! YOU DON'T HAVE EARS EITHER!
Patrick: [thinking of a way to say something about SpongeBob then spots SpongeBob's holes] HOLES, HOLES!
SpongeBob: Conehead!
Patrick: Yellow!
SpongeBob: Pink!
SpongeBob: Hey, flipping is not as easy as it sounds!
[Patrick flips over a rock with his foot and makes a sizzling noise]
SpongeBob: Why don't you go home Patrick, you can compete in the "Laying Under A Rock All Day" games!
Patrick: [shocked] Well at least I don't polish my fingernails!
SpongeBob: [gasps] You take that back! [a gleam shows at the tip of his fingernails]
Patrick: [mocking] Fingernails, fingernails, fingernails!
SpongeBob: You don't even have fingernails!
Patrick: [shocked] I CANNOT BELIEVE WHAT I AM HEARING!
SpongeBob: HOW CAN YOU HEAR IT?! YOU DON'T HAVE EARS EITHER!
Patrick: [thinking of a way to say something about SpongeBob then spots SpongeBob's holes] HOLES, HOLES!
SpongeBob: Conehead!
Patrick: Yellow!
SpongeBob: Pink!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [wearing yellow underwear] You know, these were white when I bought them.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Patrick: [after SpongeBob has erased part of his nametag] NOOOOOOOOOOO!! MY NAME'S...NOT...RIIIIIIIIIICK!!!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Plankton: Please turn your attention to the south-west corridor of the arena!
[Crowd turns to their right]
Plankton: Other way... [under his breath] Imbeciles.
[Crowd turns to their right]
Plankton: Other way... [under his breath] Imbeciles.
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Mr. Krabs: Win this one for the Krusty Krab!
SpongeBob: [runs forward] FOR THE KRUSTY KRAB!
Plankton: Win this one because I told you to!
Patrick: [runs forward as well] BECAUSE HE TOLD ME TOOOOOOOOO!
SpongeBob: [runs forward] FOR THE KRUSTY KRAB!
Plankton: Win this one because I told you to!
Patrick: [runs forward as well] BECAUSE HE TOLD ME TOOOOOOOOO!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants
Plankton: [after Patrick and SpongeBob make up] Hey! Get back here and kill each other!
TV Show: SpongeBob SquarePants