Sports Night Quotes
Casey McCall: [awkward first date] Pixley's an unusual name. Did it, um, come from your mother?
Pixley Robinson: I'm pretty sure it came from both my parents.
Casey McCall: What I meant was, was it your mother's maiden name?
Pixley Robinson: No.
Casey McCall: It doesn't have special significance?
Pixley Robinson: It has special significance in as much as it's my name.
Pixley Robinson: I'm pretty sure it came from both my parents.
Casey McCall: What I meant was, was it your mother's maiden name?
Pixley Robinson: No.
Casey McCall: It doesn't have special significance?
Pixley Robinson: It has special significance in as much as it's my name.
TV Show: Sports Night
Dana Whitaker: Name three things.
Jeremy Goodwin: Improve their free-throw percentage...
Natalie: Yes.
Jeremy Goodwin: Run the floor...
Dana Whitaker: Okay. One more.
Jeremy Goodwin: Tell Spike Lee to sit down and shut up?
Natalie: Excellent!
Dana Whitaker: Well, welcome to Sports Night.
Jeremy Goodwin: Improve their free-throw percentage...
Natalie: Yes.
Jeremy Goodwin: Run the floor...
Dana Whitaker: Okay. One more.
Jeremy Goodwin: Tell Spike Lee to sit down and shut up?
Natalie: Excellent!
Dana Whitaker: Well, welcome to Sports Night.
TV Show: Sports Night
Jeremy Goodwin: We shot a deer. In the woods near Lake Mattatuck on the second day. There was a special vest they had me wear so that they could distinguish me from things they wanted to shoot, and I was pretty grateful for that. Almost the whole day had gone by, and we hadn't gotten anything. Eddie was getting frustrated and Bob Shoemaker was getting embarrassed. My camera guy needed to re-load so I told everybody to take a ten minute break. There was a stream nearby and I walked over with this care-package Natalie made me. I sat down and when I looked up I saw three of them; small, bigger, biggest. Recognizable to any species on the face of the planet as a child, a mother and a father. Now, the trick in shooting deer is you gotta get 'em out in the open. And it's tough with deer, 'cause these are clever, cagey animals with an intuitive sense of danger. You know what you have to do to get a deer out in the open? You hold out a twinkie. That animal clopped up to me like we were at a party. She seemed to be pretty interested in the twinkie, so I gave it to her. Looking back, she'd have been better off if I'd given her the damn vest. And Bob kind of screamed at me in whisper, "Move away!" The camera had been re-loaded and it looked like the day wasn't gonna be a washout after all. So I backed away, a couple of steps at a time, and I closed my eyes when I heard the shot. Look, I know these are animals, and they don't play bridge and go to the prom, but you can't tell me that the little one didn't know who his mother was. That's gotta mean something. And later, at the hospital, Bob Shoemaker was telling me about the nobility and tradition of hunting and how it related to the native American Indians. And I nodded and I said that was interesting while I was thinking about what a load of crap it was. Hunting was part of Indian culture. It was food and it was clothes and it was shelter. They sang and danced and offered prayers to the gods for a success
TV Show: Sports Night
[Dan's trying to convince Casey to take a job in L.A]
Dan Rydell: Same show, bigger audience, sunshine, Pacific Ocean, new car, Laker Girls, plus the L.A. Philharmonic with Mr. Esa-Pekka Salonen at the podium. You know where he's from?
Casey McCall: Helsinki.
Dan Rydell: That's right. You know where that is?
Casey McCall: Finland.
Dan Rydell: That's right.
Dan Rydell: Same show, bigger audience, sunshine, Pacific Ocean, new car, Laker Girls, plus the L.A. Philharmonic with Mr. Esa-Pekka Salonen at the podium. You know where he's from?
Casey McCall: Helsinki.
Dan Rydell: That's right. You know where that is?
Casey McCall: Finland.
Dan Rydell: That's right.
TV Show: Sports Night
[Elliot brings Dan flowers]
Elliot: These are for you.
Dan Rydell: Elliot, look, last night, seriously, I was talking to Kim. I was doing a little thing...
Elliot: They're not from me.
Dan Rydell: Like it'd kill you to give me flowers once in a while?
Elliot: These are for you.
Dan Rydell: Elliot, look, last night, seriously, I was talking to Kim. I was doing a little thing...
Elliot: They're not from me.
Dan Rydell: Like it'd kill you to give me flowers once in a while?
TV Show: Sports Night
J.J.: I’m concerned with Casey’s performance on the air lately.
Dan: What's your point?
J.J.: My point is, at the moment, Casey has less on-air charm and charisma than my high school driving instructor, and you know it, Dan. Now I think the time has come for you to think about the possibility of another partner.
Dan: I’m not going to do the show with your high school driving instructor, J.J., if that’s what you’re asking me.
J.J.: Look, Dan, you've got a bright future at this network, and—
Dan: My future is writing and anchoring a sports program, with my partner, Casey McCall. Now, if it's here, it's here. If it's not, it's someplace else. For right now, I'm gonna forget this conversation ever took place. Dana, Isaac, you guys need anything?
Dana: No Dan, you're done here, thanks.
Isaac: I really got to admire the way you manhandled my staff today J.J.
J.J.: Look...
Isaac: No. Don't take me on.
J.J.: The network's not going to wait forever.
Isaac: It's your call Dana, but pretty soon it's going to be my call. Cause here's the thing, I can't let it be their call.
Dan: What's your point?
J.J.: My point is, at the moment, Casey has less on-air charm and charisma than my high school driving instructor, and you know it, Dan. Now I think the time has come for you to think about the possibility of another partner.
Dan: I’m not going to do the show with your high school driving instructor, J.J., if that’s what you’re asking me.
J.J.: Look, Dan, you've got a bright future at this network, and—
Dan: My future is writing and anchoring a sports program, with my partner, Casey McCall. Now, if it's here, it's here. If it's not, it's someplace else. For right now, I'm gonna forget this conversation ever took place. Dana, Isaac, you guys need anything?
Dana: No Dan, you're done here, thanks.
Isaac: I really got to admire the way you manhandled my staff today J.J.
J.J.: Look...
Isaac: No. Don't take me on.
J.J.: The network's not going to wait forever.
Isaac: It's your call Dana, but pretty soon it's going to be my call. Cause here's the thing, I can't let it be their call.
TV Show: Sports Night
Casey: You wanna do something tonight after the show?
Dan: Yeah, y'know, I was gonna hop a ride on the Staten Island ferry for awhile, eat a hotdog. You wanna come?
Casey: Yeah, absolutely, and I'll tell you why. 'Cause it's seventeen degrees outside with the wind chill so what I want to do is stand on a boat in the middle of New York harbor at half-past midnight.
Dan: You have a better idea?
Casey: Well, we could go to a bar, find some people we don't like and beat the crap out of them.
Dan: Yeah, y'know, I was gonna hop a ride on the Staten Island ferry for awhile, eat a hotdog. You wanna come?
Casey: Yeah, absolutely, and I'll tell you why. 'Cause it's seventeen degrees outside with the wind chill so what I want to do is stand on a boat in the middle of New York harbor at half-past midnight.
Dan: You have a better idea?
Casey: Well, we could go to a bar, find some people we don't like and beat the crap out of them.
TV Show: Sports Night
Dana: Hey, look everybody. It's two sports anchors, and that's a good break for us, because we're about to do a sports show.
Casey: Sarcasm, thy name is Dana.
Casey: Sarcasm, thy name is Dana.
TV Show: Sports Night
Casey: There is a perception in the press, never clearer than in this article, that I'm not cool. Now, where do you think this perception comes from?
Dana: I think it comes from reality.
Dana: I think it comes from reality.
TV Show: Sports Night
Isaac: Apologize.
Dan: To who?
Isaac: Who cares? Danny?
Dan: Yeah?
Isaac: You know I love you right?
Dan: Yeah.
Isaac: And because I love you, I can say this: no rich young white guy has ever gotten anywhere with me comparing himself to Rosa Parks. Got it?
Dan: Yes sir.
Isaac: Good.
Dan: To who?
Isaac: Who cares? Danny?
Dan: Yeah?
Isaac: You know I love you right?
Dan: Yeah.
Isaac: And because I love you, I can say this: no rich young white guy has ever gotten anywhere with me comparing himself to Rosa Parks. Got it?
Dan: Yes sir.
Isaac: Good.
TV Show: Sports Night
Dan: I have a younger brother named Sam. Sam's a genius. I mean, literally. As a kid, he tested off the charts. The first computer I ever had, he built from a kit he bought with money he earned tutoring other kids in math. He's energetic and articulate, curious and funny. A great source of pride to our parents. And there's no doubt that he'd be living a great life right now, except for that he's dead. Because when you're fourteen years old, all you ever really wanna be when you grow up is your sixteen-year-old brother. And in my case, that meant smoking a lot of dope. The day I went off to college was the day that Sam got his driver's license. And he celebrated by taking a drive with some of his friends. Drunk and high as a paper kite. He never saw the red light that he ran. And he probably never saw the eighteen-wheel truck that put him into the side of a brick bank, either. That was eleven years ago tonight. And I just wanted to say... I'm sorry, Sam. You deserved better in my hands. And I apologize.
TV Show: Sports Night
Isaac: It's taken me a lot of years, but I've come around to this: If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people. And if you're smart, surround yourself with smart people who disagree with you. I'm an awfully smart man, and Mark Sabath is an idiot. He had you, and he blew it. You're gonna do great here Jeremy, but you've gotta trust us.
TV Show: Sports Night
Jeremy" We shot a deer. In the woods near Lake Mattatuck on the second day. There was a special vest they had me wear so that they could distinguish me from things they wanted to shoot, and I was pretty grateful for that. Almost the whole day had gone by, and we hadn't gotten anything. Eddie was getting frustrated and Bob Shoemaker was getting embarrassed. My camera guy needed to re-load so I told everybody to take a ten minute break. There was a stream nearby and I walked over with this care-package Natalie made me. I sat down and when I looked up I saw three of them; small, bigger, biggest. Recognizable to any species on the face of the planet as a child, a mother and a father. Now, the trick in shooting deer is you gotta get 'em out in the open. And it's tough with deer, 'cause these are clever, cagey animals with an intuitive sense of danger. You know what you have to do to get a deer out in the open? You hold out a twinkie. That animal clopped up to me like we were at a party. She seemed to be pretty interested in the twinkie, so I gave it to her. Looking back, she'd have been better off if I'd given her the damn vest. And Bob kind of screamed at me in whisper, "Move away!" The camera had been re-loaded and it looked like the day wasn't gonna be a washout after all. So I backed away, a couple of steps at a time, and I closed my eyes when I heard the shot. Look, I know these are animals, and they don't play bridge and go to the prom, but you can't tell me that the little one didn't know who his mother was. That's gotta mean something. And later, at the hospital, Bob Shoemaker was telling me about the nobility and tradition of hunting and how it related to the native American Indians. And I nodded and I said that was interesting while I was thinking about what a load of crap it was. Hunting was part of Indian culture. It was food and it was clothes and it was shelter. They sang and danced and offered prayers to the gods for a successful hunt so that they c
TV Show: Sports Night
Jeremy: Not fitting in is how qualified people get fired.
Isaac: Yeah, but a lot of the time, it's how they end up working here.
Isaac: Yeah, but a lot of the time, it's how they end up working here.
TV Show: Sports Night
Dan: I've been thinking a lot about soccer lately.
Casey: And?
Dan: I'm pretty much through with that.
Casey: Yeah?
Dan: Ya know, to save my life I couldn't name five teams that play in the MLS? I know there's Luxembourg.
Casey: The MLS is an American soccer league.
Dan: Luxembourg doesn't play in this league?
Casey: No.
Dan: So I don't even know Luxembourg.
Casey: [to Kim] Ow again.
Kim: Ya know, this is what you get for being a grown man who can't dress himself.
Casey: I used to have a wife for that.
Dan: I'll tell you what else. I'm starting to get a little cheesed at people telling me the reason I don't like soccer is that I don't understand it. I think I do understand it. I think I understand it just fine. I just happen to think it's a mind-numbing bore, and that any reasonable person would rather be playing it than watching it.
Casey: Well I know it doesn't match the pulse-pounding excitement of a good sailboat race.
Dan: Alright, nobody move. Name five teams that play in the MLS. And Casey says it's an American soccer league, so you can't choose Luxembourg. Go.
Natalie: Columbus Crew.
Elliot: Miami Fusion.
Natalie: New England Revolution.
Kim: Tampa Bay Mutiny.
Natalie: D.C. United.
Dave: Chicago Fire.
Natalie: Colorado Rapids.
Chris: Dallas Burn.
Natalie: Kansas City Wizards.
Will: Los Angeles Galaxy.
Natalie: And the New York/New Jersey Metro-Stars.
Dan: You all just made that up, didn't you?
Casey: You got smoked.
Casey: And?
Dan: I'm pretty much through with that.
Casey: Yeah?
Dan: Ya know, to save my life I couldn't name five teams that play in the MLS? I know there's Luxembourg.
Casey: The MLS is an American soccer league.
Dan: Luxembourg doesn't play in this league?
Casey: No.
Dan: So I don't even know Luxembourg.
Casey: [to Kim] Ow again.
Kim: Ya know, this is what you get for being a grown man who can't dress himself.
Casey: I used to have a wife for that.
Dan: I'll tell you what else. I'm starting to get a little cheesed at people telling me the reason I don't like soccer is that I don't understand it. I think I do understand it. I think I understand it just fine. I just happen to think it's a mind-numbing bore, and that any reasonable person would rather be playing it than watching it.
Casey: Well I know it doesn't match the pulse-pounding excitement of a good sailboat race.
Dan: Alright, nobody move. Name five teams that play in the MLS. And Casey says it's an American soccer league, so you can't choose Luxembourg. Go.
Natalie: Columbus Crew.
Elliot: Miami Fusion.
Natalie: New England Revolution.
Kim: Tampa Bay Mutiny.
Natalie: D.C. United.
Dave: Chicago Fire.
Natalie: Colorado Rapids.
Chris: Dallas Burn.
Natalie: Kansas City Wizards.
Will: Los Angeles Galaxy.
Natalie: And the New York/New Jersey Metro-Stars.
Dan: You all just made that up, didn't you?
Casey: You got smoked.
TV Show: Sports Night
Mallory: Listen, I think it's sweet that you and your partner sing to each other on television. Others may think it’s vaguely gay, but I disagree.
TV Show: Sports Night
Dana: You have good ideas a lot. I find myself saying, "Natalie's got a good idea."
Natalie: But you also find yourself saying, "Natalie, if you screw that up again I'll set you on fire."
Dana: When was the last time you had a good idea?
Natalie: This morning, I decided not to stick my hand in the blender.
Dana: That's what I'm talking about.
Natalie: But you also find yourself saying, "Natalie, if you screw that up again I'll set you on fire."
Dana: When was the last time you had a good idea?
Natalie: This morning, I decided not to stick my hand in the blender.
Dana: That's what I'm talking about.
TV Show: Sports Night
Dana: How much do you love me?
Dan: I want to grow a goatee.
Dana: Very, very bad idea. How much do you love me?
Dan: I think it would look good.
Dana: I think you would look like Colonel Sanders. How much do you love me?
Dan: A little less than I did before the Colonel Sanders thing.
Dan: I want to grow a goatee.
Dana: Very, very bad idea. How much do you love me?
Dan: I think it would look good.
Dana: I think you would look like Colonel Sanders. How much do you love me?
Dan: A little less than I did before the Colonel Sanders thing.
TV Show: Sports Night
Bill: This is a third place show on a fourth rate network.
Dan: Yeah, but that's all gonna change once I grow a goatee.
Casey: He's just crazy enough to do it.
Dan: Yeah, but that's all gonna change once I grow a goatee.
Casey: He's just crazy enough to do it.
TV Show: Sports Night
Jeremy: This is professional television. Surely there's some kind of strict procedure that's followed when something like this happens.
Dana: Absolutely.
Jeremy: What is it?
Dana: Well first, everyone stand up and see if you're sitting on it.
Dana: Absolutely.
Jeremy: What is it?
Dana: Well first, everyone stand up and see if you're sitting on it.
TV Show: Sports Night
Casey: I am a commentator, I am a pundit, I am doing my job.
Dan: You're a pundit?
Casey: I am.
Dan: Well, your parents must be very proud.
Casey: They are.
Dan: You're a pundit?
Casey: I am.
Dan: Well, your parents must be very proud.
Casey: They are.
TV Show: Sports Night
Elliot: How's the writer's block?
Dan: You're gonna need to get someone to fix my computer.
Kim: What's wrong with it?
Dan: It's in several pieces on my floor.
Dan: You're gonna need to get someone to fix my computer.
Kim: What's wrong with it?
Dan: It's in several pieces on my floor.
TV Show: Sports Night
Dan: If you wear something blue you get two dollars off a giant blue margarita.
Casey: You know I make a pretty good living. I can actually afford to wear what I want and pay full price.
Dan: I'm not promoting the economic upside as much as I am the opportunity to drink something giant and blue.
Casey: You know I make a pretty good living. I can actually afford to wear what I want and pay full price.
Dan: I'm not promoting the economic upside as much as I am the opportunity to drink something giant and blue.
TV Show: Sports Night
Isaac: So you say a few words. You make a gesture. You remember an important date. A small price to pay for what you get in return. For what you get in return, it's a steal.
TV Show: Sports Night
Dana: I've named this Thanksgiving. I'm calling it "The Thanksgiving of Mom's Disapproval." Included on the two-record set are the hit songs "Why Aren't You Married?" and "Sports Is No Place For An Educated Woman," and "Didn't Anyone Ever Tell You How To Cook A Turkey?"
TV Show: Sports Night
Dan: A couple of months ago I wrote a check to someone. Now I'm in the middle of Dickensian London.
TV Show: Sports Night
Natalie: Two guys have ascended five miles into the sky. They walked up a wall of ice, and are preparing to knock on the door of Heaven itself. There's really no end to what we can do. You know what the trick is?
Dan: What?
Natalie: Get in the game.
Dan: What?
Natalie: Get in the game.
TV Show: Sports Night
Jeremy: Look at me. I'm not lying to you. I have a straight.
Natalie: How do you know I don't have a big house?
Jeremy: A FULL house. Dan already folded the six you needed, and I have the other one. You don't have a house of any sort, you don't have a pup tent. You've got trip sevens, and I have a straight. I want you to trust me right now. I want you to say to yourself, yeah, I've dated a string of jerks in my life, they were stupid, they were mean to me, but maybe this one's different. Maybe I should take a chance and not adopt the break-up-with-him-before-he-breaks-my-heart strategy. I want you to remember that when I started liking you, I didn't stop liking tennis. And I want you to know that I don' t think there's a woman in the world that you need to be threatened by, no matter how glamorous you think she is. But mostly, I want you to trust me, just once, when I tell you you have three sevens, and I have a straight.
Natalie: How do you know I don't have a big house?
Jeremy: A FULL house. Dan already folded the six you needed, and I have the other one. You don't have a house of any sort, you don't have a pup tent. You've got trip sevens, and I have a straight. I want you to trust me right now. I want you to say to yourself, yeah, I've dated a string of jerks in my life, they were stupid, they were mean to me, but maybe this one's different. Maybe I should take a chance and not adopt the break-up-with-him-before-he-breaks-my-heart strategy. I want you to remember that when I started liking you, I didn't stop liking tennis. And I want you to know that I don' t think there's a woman in the world that you need to be threatened by, no matter how glamorous you think she is. But mostly, I want you to trust me, just once, when I tell you you have three sevens, and I have a straight.
TV Show: Sports Night
Sally: Anyway, I really appreciate the two of you sticking around and filling in.
Casey: It's no problem.
Sally: Oh, please, you think I wanna be stuck doing the two a.m.? This is just a temp gig.
Casey: Temp gig?
Dan: Temporary gig.
Casey: Thanks.
Sally: My stuff's out there. I talk to a lot of people.
Dan: Just as long as none of them are talkin' back.
Sally: CNBC, MSNBC—
Dan: M-O-U-S-E...
Casey: Danny—
Dan: Oh, like she's listening to anybody but herself.
Casey: It's no problem.
Sally: Oh, please, you think I wanna be stuck doing the two a.m.? This is just a temp gig.
Casey: Temp gig?
Dan: Temporary gig.
Casey: Thanks.
Sally: My stuff's out there. I talk to a lot of people.
Dan: Just as long as none of them are talkin' back.
Sally: CNBC, MSNBC—
Dan: M-O-U-S-E...
Casey: Danny—
Dan: Oh, like she's listening to anybody but herself.
TV Show: Sports Night