Stargate - Atlantis Quotes
[After Aiden has managed to fail all his prime number guesses]
Dr. Zelenka: Lt. Ford, would you mind being the subject of research papers on statistical improbabilities?
Lt. Ford: Is this some sort of payback for guys like me beating up guys like you in high school?
Dr. Zelenka: Lt. Ford, would you mind being the subject of research papers on statistical improbabilities?
Lt. Ford: Is this some sort of payback for guys like me beating up guys like you in high school?
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[during combat training]
Teyla: You have not been practicing.
Maj. Sheppard: Yes I have.
Teyla: If this was really a fight -
Maj. Sheppard: If this was really a fight, I would have shot you by now.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr. Beckett: Just try to stay calm.
Lt. Ford: Calm?! You told me I have a million tiny robots running through my veins whose only purpose is to terrorize and kill me. You stay calm!
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[Major Sheppard is on his way in a Puddle Jumper to drop a naquadah generator converted into a bomb]
Dr. McKay: You'll only have 30 seconds to release it before it explodes, you need to get as far away as you can.
Maj. Sheppard: Get as far away from the nuclear explosion as possible. That's good advice, Rodney. Thanks.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[after Chaya delivers the message that Athar cannot help Atlantis]
Dr. McKay: Well, I think we both knew what you were going to say long before you even went in there.
Chaya: [unhappy] We prayed for Athar's guidance.
Dr. McKay: And what did Athar say? You're hiding behind your religion to justify your complete and utter selfishness.
Maj. Sheppard: Rodney -
Dr. McKay: If Athar existed she would be ashamed of herself.
Dr. McKay: Well, I think we both knew what you were going to say long before you even went in there.
Chaya: [unhappy] We prayed for Athar's guidance.
Dr. McKay: And what did Athar say? You're hiding behind your religion to justify your complete and utter selfishness.
Maj. Sheppard: Rodney -
Dr. McKay: If Athar existed she would be ashamed of herself.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Chaya: What my people value most is spiritual knowledge. What can your culture provide in that regard?
Dr. Weir: Earth's people don't share a single Spiritual belief - we embrace a number of different religions and philosophies: Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism, Islam -
Maj. Sheppard: Hinduism ... Kwanzaa.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr. McKay: All I know is she's not who she's pretending to be.
Dr. Weir: You know this because…?
Dr. McKay: What, I'm not allowed to have intuition?
Dr. Weir: You? No.
Dr. McKay: Oh.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr. McKay: Word of caution? The whole "Captain Kirk" routine is problematic to say the least, let alone morally dubious.
Maj. Sheppard: What routine?
Dr. McKay: The romancing of the alien priestess? It's very 1967 of you.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr. McKay: According to the database, she's been in there for ten thousand years.
Dr. Weir: Ten thousand years?!
Maj. Sheppard: Doesn't look a day over nine thousand.
Dr. Weir: Ten thousand years?!
Maj. Sheppard: Doesn't look a day over nine thousand.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[Beckett is told to rouse his (very) elderly patient]
Dr. Beckett: Ten thousand years… d'you expect her to dance a bloody jig?
Dr. Beckett: Ten thousand years… d'you expect her to dance a bloody jig?
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Lt. Ford: Is time-travel possible?
Dr. McKay: Well, according to Einstein's General Theory of Relativity, there's nothing in the laws of physics to prevent it. Extremely difficult to achieve, mind you – you need the technology to manipulate black holes to create wormholes not only through points in space, but time.
Maj. Sheppard: Not to mention a really nice De Lorean.
Dr. McKay: Don't even get me started on that movie!
Maj. Sheppard: I liked that movie!
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr. McKay: The Puddle Jumper they escaped in must have been some sort of a time machine. It had to have an additional component built into it.
Maj. Sheppard: Flux capacitor!
Dr. McKay: ...Yeah.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr. McKay: I died?!
Alternate Weir: You never gave up trying, right until the end.
Dr. McKay: [shocked] Well, a man wonders how he would choose to go out, given such dire circumstances. Now I know.
Alternate Weir: Trying to save the lives of others.
Maj. Sheppard: [smug] But ultimately failing!
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[upon learning that Alternate John died]
Dr. McKay: [smugly grinning] Ha! Ah, the bitter taste of ultimate failure, hmm?
Maj. Sheppard: Well, if you’d just figured out how to fix the damn shield in the first place, none of us would have died.
[Alternate Weir smiles at their bickering]
Dr. McKay: I did everything I could, including valiantly attempting to save your sorry-
Dr. Weir: Gentlemen, focus.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Technician: [drinking coffee] I don't know what happened, it just stopped working. I got some little functionality back, it's still isn't doing everything it used to.
Dr. Zelenka: Yes, well, maybe if people stop insisting on having food and liquid in such close proximity to the TEN THOUSAND YEAR OLD EQUIPMENT!
Technician: Hey! We're very careful! We're not the problem here!
Dr. Zelenka: [sarcastically] Ah, yes. Uh-huh!
[while Zelenka isn't looking, the technician touches the laptop, causing the Ancient screen to flash]
Dr. Zelenka: What did you touch?
Technician: Nothing! I didn't touch anything.
Dr. Zelenka: Ježiši, já s tema hercema nemužu delat! (meaning "Jesus, I can't work with these actors" in Czech)
Dr. Zelenka: Yes, well, maybe if people stop insisting on having food and liquid in such close proximity to the TEN THOUSAND YEAR OLD EQUIPMENT!
Technician: Hey! We're very careful! We're not the problem here!
Dr. Zelenka: [sarcastically] Ah, yes. Uh-huh!
[while Zelenka isn't looking, the technician touches the laptop, causing the Ancient screen to flash]
Dr. Zelenka: What did you touch?
Technician: Nothing! I didn't touch anything.
Dr. Zelenka: Ježiši, já s tema hercema nemužu delat! (meaning "Jesus, I can't work with these actors" in Czech)
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr. McKay: Suddenly I feel so tired.
Allina: You're a scientist. Are you not used to this by now?
Dr. McKay: Ah, but my kind of science is the good kind of science. The kind you can do sitting on a chair or ... laying on a couch.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Allina: It's a layout of the Sudarian villages. The walls of this monastery have protected it for ten thousand years.
Dr. McKay: It's beautiful.
Allina: It is. [looks at him] And yet my eye is drawn elsewhere.
[Clueless and not getting the hint, Rodney looks around to see what she is referring to.]
Dr. McKay: Elsewhere?
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr. McKay: [to John, Aiden and Teyla] I’m heading to bed.
Maj. Sheppard: Ah, which bed might that be?
Rodney: Huh, what?
Lt. Ford: Think Allina might have a little crush on you, Doc.
Dr. McKay: She does?
Teyla: It is very clear to us all.
Dr. McKay: It is?
Maj. Sheppard: To everyone but you, apparently.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr. Beckett: I can barely make it to the main land and back without crashing. For the last time, I'm a medical doctor, not a bloody fighter pilot!
[Reference to Star Trek 's Dr. McCoy and his line "I'm a doctor, not a..."]
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr. McKay: Look, someone get me a knife. [Genii just stand there] You all have guns, someone get me a knife.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[Weir has just briefed Atlantis' scientists about the approaching Wraith fleet]
Dr. Weir: So, recommendations?
Dr. Beckett: Other than panic?
Dr. Weir: Other than panic, yes.
Dr. Weir: So, recommendations?
Dr. Beckett: Other than panic?
Dr. Weir: Other than panic, yes.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[Ford is recording video messages of each expedition member to send home]
Dr. Beckett: What shall I say?
Lt. Ford: Uh…uh…"I miss you"? "I wish you were here"?
Dr. Beckett: I wish who was here?
Lt. Ford: I don't know. Who do you wish was here?
Dr. Beckett: Nobody! I wish I wasn't bloody here!
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[Zelenka gives, in Czech, a poetic description of the rising of Atlantis]
Lt. Ford: You didn't say anything that would require security clearance, did you?
Dr. Zelenka: Security clearance?
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[Rodney's recording]
Dr. McKay: [adjusts hair] Right. And in five, four, three-
[he stops speaking and holds up two fingers to signify the “two” count, then folds his arms and looks serious.]
Dr. McKay: [dramatically] This is Doctor Rodney McKay speaking to you from my base of operations in the lost city of Atlantis, located deep within the Pegasus galaxy. I record this message on the eve of our darkest hour. As I speak, an alien armada of biblical proportions is on its way, bent - dare I say hellbent, in keeping with the metaphor – on our destruction. We will do our best to stave off their attack but I am afraid that defeat is all but inevitable. I, and the other members of my team, face the most horrific deaths imaginable, as our very lives are sucked from our chests in a, in a, horrific - Okay, uh, start again. Start again.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr Beckett: I ran every test I could on all of you from the get-go. Physiologically, you and your people are the same as we are. I have no explanation for any of your special super-powers.
Teyla I only have one power.
Dr Beckett: I've seen you fight, my dear.
Teyla I only have one power.
Dr Beckett: I've seen you fight, my dear.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Maj. Sheppard You're saying Teyla is part Wraith?
Dr Beckett: A very small part.
Dr Weir: Which makes her about as different from us as you, because of the Ancient gene you possess.
Dr McKay: Well, and some other things.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr McKay: So you think this Wraith scientist was trying to make humans what, more tasty?
Dr Weir: The log seems to indicate that he was looking for a way to make the feeding process more efficient.
Dr McKay: But I thought you said they already had a number of genetic characteristics similar to humans.
Dr Beckett: They do. But they're still much closer to the bug creature that attacked Major Sheppard than to us.
Maj. Sheppard: Hey! I thought we weren't going to mention that anymore.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr Weir: Your theory of the Wraith evolving after the Ancients arrived in Pegasus galaxy -
Dr McKay: [in disbelief] Oh, you're kidding me!
Zelenka: Pay up.
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
Dr McKay: I got a little... [referring to energy spike]
Lt Ford: [jokingly] A little what? McKay! You got a little what? [Sheppard looks at Ford disapprovingly] What? Oh, it's okay when you guys make fun of me then, huh?
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis
[Weir is explaining to Teyla is told that she can read Wraith minds]
Weir: You didn't know you COULD read Wraith minds...and frankly, who would want to?
TV Show: Stargate Atlantis