Stargate SG-1 Quotes

Col. O'Neill: Do you read the Bible, Teal'c?
Teal'c: It is a significant part of your Western culture. Have you not read the Bible, O'Neill?
Col O'Neill: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Not all of it. Actually, I'm listening to it on tape. Don't tell me how it ends.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: It was a procedure often done in the Middle Ages. They…well, they'd drill a hole in the person's head. By drilling a hole the evil spirits are released, thus saving the person from eternal damnation.
Col. O'Neill: Thus…saving the person?
Dr. Jackson: Well, they didn't call them the Dark Ages because it was dark.

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Carter, the next time I feel the urge to help someone, feel free to give me a swift kick.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Major, next time Daniel gets the urge to help someone, shoot him.

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: So.. how long you gonna keep this up? The demon bit? Don't get me wrong, looks like a great gig. You got the padre in your back pocket, the hours are good, probably get all the chicks...ahh! [Unas grabs his neck]
Col. O'Neill: Oh my apple!

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Unas: You are not of this world.
Col. O'Neill: No, no we're not. Unas? What does Sokar have on you that makes you so dang cranky?

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Look, we've run into this kind of thing before. Now, it's not a demon. It's demonesque I'll grant you, but it's just a big, ugly creature.
Daniel Jackson: (quietly, to O'Neill) : Who's inhabited by a Goa'uld that gives it great strength, intelligence and the ability to regenerate.
Col. O'Neill: Yes. It's a very smart, resilient creature.
Daniel Jackson: (quietly) : In the service of Sokar, who, for all intents and purposes, is Satan to these people.
Col. O'Neill: But it's not a demon.
Daniel Jackson: (to Simon) : No, it's not a demon.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Hibbard: You are all casualties until 1400 hours.
Col. O'Neill: Would that be Daylight Savings or Standard?

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Capt. Rogers: You came through the chappa'ai. This is a challenge!
Dr. Jackson: The chappa'ai?
[Rogers realizes that he revealed too much]
Col. O'Neill: Oy.
Hibbert: [quietly, aside] The stargate, sir.
Capt. Rogers: Stargate of course. We've been so long without challenges. [to Teal'c] I am sorry Master Jaffa. I have revealed myself. [he gives Teal'c his sidearm] You must execute me for the remainder of the day.
Hibbard: [hands his rifle to Jack] You must execute me as well.
Col. O'Neill: Master Teal'c. Might I suggest we...spare them this time?
Teal'c: Very well...underling.
[Jack gives him a look]

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Capt. Rogers: We extracted high-level information from the prisoners. [slyly] Corn and cotton are indigenous to North America.
Col. O'Neill: And that information could save your life one day.

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill brings the captive Rogers his lunch]
Col. O'Neill: Ol' Doc Frasier says you haven't been eating.
Capt. Rogers: It's poison.
Col. O'Neill: It's hospital food, of course it is. [takes a bite of Rogers' sandwich, then speaks with his mouth full] Mmm, tuna…
Capt. Rogers: Go to Sokar.
Col. O'Neill: It's "Go to hell" actually. Which, by the way, is a very rude thing to say to a person offering you a sandwich.
Capt. Rogers: It means the same.
Col. O'Neill: You've got a point.
Capt. Rogers: I will reveal nothing. You may begin torturing me.
Col. O'Neill: Oh, I've already begun. This…is the infamous Tuna Torture.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Oh my. There is a distinct lack of optimism in this room.

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Fraser: Col.?
Col. O'Neill: I'm sorry, doctor. I forgot who I am.

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Maj. Carter: Teal'c, what about these?
Teal'c: They are intar.
Col. O'Neill: Short for?
Teal'c: Intar.

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teal'c: This is Colonel O'Neill. He is much loved by Apophis. [To O'Neill] You may address the warriors.
Col. O'Neill: Apophis wanted me to tell you that you've all been doing a wonderful job. Couldn't ask for more. Well done. But, he also wanted me to tell you the whole…invasion of the Tau'ri idea has been canceled due to…rain.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gen. Hammond: [To O'Neill] What happened, Colonel?
Capt. Rogers: [To Hammond] My Lord?
Col. O'Neill: Actually, we just call him…General Hammond.
Capt. Rogers: Where is Apophis?
Col. O'Neill: He's not here. Sorry.
Dr. Fraiser: What have we got?
[Rogers realizes that he's been fooled and tries frantically to get off the stretcher]
Capt. Rogers: Liars! Traitors!
Dr. Fraiser: Easy, easy!
Capt. Rogers: You will be punished! He will avenge me!
Dr. Fraiser: [to Jack] Who is this, sir?
Col. O'Neill: His name is Rogers. Despite appearances, he's not SGC.
[Rogers is wheeled away]:
Gen. Hammond: I'd like to debrief ASAP, Colonel.
Col. O'Neill: Yes, my Lord.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1