Stargate SG-1 Quotes
Col. O'Neill: She made a pass at me
Dr. Jackson: [confused] Sam?
Col. O'Neill: Anise, Freya, one of them.
Dr. Jackson: Really?
Col. O'Neill: The host half.
Dr. Jackson: Uh, that's odd.
Col. O'Neill: You're tellin' me. Odd timing, too, don't ya think?
Dr. Jackson: Yes.
Col. O'Neill: Apparently, the snake likes you.
Dr. Jackson: Really? [watches as O'Neill plays with a yo-yo] You know, I think these are the Jack O'Neill moments I'll probably miss the most.
Col. O'Neill: What?
Dr. Jackson: What?
Dr. Jackson: [confused] Sam?
Col. O'Neill: Anise, Freya, one of them.
Dr. Jackson: Really?
Col. O'Neill: The host half.
Dr. Jackson: Uh, that's odd.
Col. O'Neill: You're tellin' me. Odd timing, too, don't ya think?
Dr. Jackson: Yes.
Col. O'Neill: Apparently, the snake likes you.
Dr. Jackson: Really? [watches as O'Neill plays with a yo-yo] You know, I think these are the Jack O'Neill moments I'll probably miss the most.
Col. O'Neill: What?
Dr. Jackson: What?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: I'd rather have died myself than lose Carter.
Anise: Why?
Col. O'Neill: Because I care about her. A lot more than I'm supposed to.
Anise: Why?
Col. O'Neill: Because I care about her. A lot more than I'm supposed to.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill and Teal'c are wrestling with an alien archaeologist near a control system for an ancient device which he has activated. There is a blinding flash, and we suddenly cut to a shot of O'Neill in the mess hall, holding a spoonful of froot loops. He looks astonished. Slight pause, then cut to a shot of Jackson. He is gesticulating with a fork that has a piece of waffle on the end of it]
Dr. Jackson: ...Anyway, that's just how I feel about it. [pause] What do you think? [he looks expectantly at O'Neill]
[O'Neill looks confused]
Col. O'Neill: What?
Dr. Jackson: ...What do you think?
Col. O'Neill: About what?
Maj. Carter: Something wrong, sir?
[O'Neill looks around, disoriented]
Col. O'Neill: ...Maybe. [Opening titles roll]
Col. O'Neill: ...Weren't we just somewhere else?
Dr. Jackson: Where?
Col. O'Neill: Some planet.
Dr. Jackson: When?
Col. O'Neill: Just now.
Dr. Jackson: No.
Col. O'Neill: Sure?
Dr. Jackson: Yeah.
[O'Neill looks around, confused]
Col. O'Neill: ...Everything just changed.
Dr. Jackson: ...Anyway, that's just how I feel about it. [pause] What do you think? [he looks expectantly at O'Neill]
[O'Neill looks confused]
Col. O'Neill: What?
Dr. Jackson: ...What do you think?
Col. O'Neill: About what?
Maj. Carter: Something wrong, sir?
[O'Neill looks around, disoriented]
Col. O'Neill: ...Maybe. [Opening titles roll]
Col. O'Neill: ...Weren't we just somewhere else?
Dr. Jackson: Where?
Col. O'Neill: Some planet.
Dr. Jackson: When?
Col. O'Neill: Just now.
Dr. Jackson: No.
Col. O'Neill: Sure?
Dr. Jackson: Yeah.
[O'Neill looks around, confused]
Col. O'Neill: ...Everything just changed.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: We've done this!
Dr. Jackson: We do this every day.
Col. O'Neill: I'm not talking about briefings in general, Daniel, I'm talking about this briefing; I'm talking about this day.
Teal'c: Col. O'Neill is correct. Events do appear to be repeating themselves.
Dr. Jackson: Since when?
Col. O'Neill: Since we went to P4X-639.
Maj. Carter: We haven't been to P4X-639.
Col. O'Neill: Yes we have. [points at Dr. Jackson] No, we haven't. That's what you were going to say.
Dr. Jackson: Of course that's what I was going to say.
[pause]
Col. O'Neill: Okay, bad example. Look, you'll all believe me when SG-12 comes through that gate in [he looks at his watch, ticking off seconds] four...three...two...
[he silently ticks off the final second, and when he reaches zero, he makes a flourishing gesture toward the gate room. Cut to a shot of Carter, looking confused, then to a shot of the unactivated gate, then back to O'Neill. He frowns and begins to tap his watch doubtfully]
Gen. Hammond: [calmly] SG-12 isn't due back for three days.
[alarms go off]
Technician: [over loudspeaker] Unscheduled off-world activation!
Col. O'Neill: [under his breath] So close.
Dr. Jackson: We do this every day.
Col. O'Neill: I'm not talking about briefings in general, Daniel, I'm talking about this briefing; I'm talking about this day.
Teal'c: Col. O'Neill is correct. Events do appear to be repeating themselves.
Dr. Jackson: Since when?
Col. O'Neill: Since we went to P4X-639.
Maj. Carter: We haven't been to P4X-639.
Col. O'Neill: Yes we have. [points at Dr. Jackson] No, we haven't. That's what you were going to say.
Dr. Jackson: Of course that's what I was going to say.
[pause]
Col. O'Neill: Okay, bad example. Look, you'll all believe me when SG-12 comes through that gate in [he looks at his watch, ticking off seconds] four...three...two...
[he silently ticks off the final second, and when he reaches zero, he makes a flourishing gesture toward the gate room. Cut to a shot of Carter, looking confused, then to a shot of the unactivated gate, then back to O'Neill. He frowns and begins to tap his watch doubtfully]
Gen. Hammond: [calmly] SG-12 isn't due back for three days.
[alarms go off]
Technician: [over loudspeaker] Unscheduled off-world activation!
Col. O'Neill: [under his breath] So close.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill correctly sums up what Carter was about to say]
Col O'Neill: Now, how did I know you were going to say that?
Maj. Carter: Maybe you read my report?
Dr. Jackson: [more than a little skeptically] Maybe he read your report? [he narrows his eyes and raises his eyebrows questioningly at Carter]
Col O'Neill: Now, how did I know you were going to say that?
Maj. Carter: Maybe you read my report?
Dr. Jackson: [more than a little skeptically] Maybe he read your report? [he narrows his eyes and raises his eyebrows questioningly at Carter]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Look, General, if it were just me, I'd agree. But what about Teal'c? Come on, is this the face of a crazy man!?
[pause, shot of Teal'c looking askance at O'Neill in a vaguely insane way, cut back to O'Neill]
Col. O'Neill: Bad example.
[pause, shot of Teal'c looking askance at O'Neill in a vaguely insane way, cut back to O'Neill]
Col. O'Neill: Bad example.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: What kind of archaeologist carries a weapon?
Dr. Jackson: Uh, I do.
[pause]
Col. O'Neill: Bad example.
Dr. Jackson: Uh, I do.
[pause]
Col. O'Neill: Bad example.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill and Teal'c have just successfully convinced Hammond, Carter, and Daniel that they're trapped in a time loop]
Col. O'Neill: Look, I don't know why none of you remember any of this, but I do know for a fact that there's no point in having ol' Doc Frasier examine us again.
[shot of Carter, looking amazed. Pause, then shot of Jackson and Hammond, looking amazed. Pause, then shot of O'Neill looking vaguely hopeful, then cut to...]
[shot from O'Neill's POV- Dr. Frasier is shining a penlight in his eye]
Col. O'Neill: [with obviously forced patience] I ask you: What could possibly be in my eye that could explain this?!
[shot of Teal'c. A nurse puts a thermometer in his mouth. He glances at her, then sighs, looking resigned]
Col. O'Neill: Look, I don't know why none of you remember any of this, but I do know for a fact that there's no point in having ol' Doc Frasier examine us again.
[shot of Carter, looking amazed. Pause, then shot of Jackson and Hammond, looking amazed. Pause, then shot of O'Neill looking vaguely hopeful, then cut to...]
[shot from O'Neill's POV- Dr. Frasier is shining a penlight in his eye]
Col. O'Neill: [with obviously forced patience] I ask you: What could possibly be in my eye that could explain this?!
[shot of Teal'c. A nurse puts a thermometer in his mouth. He glances at her, then sighs, looking resigned]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teal'c: O'Neill, should we not be assisting Daniel Jackson with the translation?
Col. O'Neill: I'm taking this loop off.
[Col. O'Neill starts squirting mustard and ketchup onto an empty plate.]
Col. O'Neill: I'm telling you, Teal'c, if we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm going to lose it.
[Teal'c raises an eyebrow.]
Col. O'Neill: Lose it. It means go crazy. Nuts. [from this point on, he becomes increasingly agitated] Insane. Bonzo. No longer in possession of one's faculties. Three fries short of a happy meal... [by now, O'Neill is ranting. He holds up his plate, which now has a crazed mustard-and-ketchup smiley face on it] WACKO!
Col. O'Neill: I'm taking this loop off.
[Col. O'Neill starts squirting mustard and ketchup onto an empty plate.]
Col. O'Neill: I'm telling you, Teal'c, if we don't find a way out of this soon, I'm going to lose it.
[Teal'c raises an eyebrow.]
Col. O'Neill: Lose it. It means go crazy. Nuts. [from this point on, he becomes increasingly agitated] Insane. Bonzo. No longer in possession of one's faculties. Three fries short of a happy meal... [by now, O'Neill is ranting. He holds up his plate, which now has a crazed mustard-and-ketchup smiley face on it] WACKO!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Martin Lloyd: I can't explain it Colonel, I just have a gut feeling, like we have something in common.
Col. O'Neill: Well, that's very flattering, but I'm not an alien.
Col. O'Neill: Well, that's very flattering, but I'm not an alien.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: Something tells me we don't need to worry about this guy.
Maj. Carter: Except for the fact he happens to be very close to the truth.
Maj. Carter: Except for the fact he happens to be very close to the truth.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: You know the worst part about this? Every time we loop, Daniel asks me a question…and I wasn't listening the first time.
Teal'c: You are not the only one who must experience some discomfort, O'Neill.
[The loop resets to the beginning. Cut to corridor, we see Teal'c get slammed in the face by a door being opened.]
Man: I'm sorry, sir, I didn't see you there.
Teal'c: You have said that on many occasions.
Man: I -- I -- what?
Teal'c: Perhaps next time I will not be so forgiving.
[In a later loop.]
Man: I'm sorry, sir, I ... whoa!
[Teal'c slams the door on the man and walks away with a smirk.]
Teal'c: You are not the only one who must experience some discomfort, O'Neill.
[The loop resets to the beginning. Cut to corridor, we see Teal'c get slammed in the face by a door being opened.]
Man: I'm sorry, sir, I didn't see you there.
Teal'c: You have said that on many occasions.
Man: I -- I -- what?
Teal'c: Perhaps next time I will not be so forgiving.
[In a later loop.]
Man: I'm sorry, sir, I ... whoa!
[Teal'c slams the door on the man and walks away with a smirk.]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: So, how many loops have you-have we-been through?
O'Neill: Uhhh...I've lost track.
Dr. Jackson: Wow, that's gotta be frustrating...
O'Neill: [as though Daniel has just stated the very obvious] Uhh...yeah.
Dr. Jackson: Still, it seems like sort of an opportunity.
O'Neill: [In a mildly patronizing tone] ...How's that?
Dr. Jackson: Well, if you know everything's going to go back to the way it was, then you could do anything... [shot of realization dawning on Teal'c] ...for as long as you want... [shot of realization dawning on O'Neill] ...without having to worry about consequences.
[Shots of O'Neill and Teal'c looking at each other, as the full implications of what Daniel has said sink in]
O'Neill: ...Excuse me. [Gets up and leaves]
[Teal'c puts down the chalk he's been using to write on the blackboard, bows slightly at Daniel, and exits]
O'Neill: Uhhh...I've lost track.
Dr. Jackson: Wow, that's gotta be frustrating...
O'Neill: [as though Daniel has just stated the very obvious] Uhh...yeah.
Dr. Jackson: Still, it seems like sort of an opportunity.
O'Neill: [In a mildly patronizing tone] ...How's that?
Dr. Jackson: Well, if you know everything's going to go back to the way it was, then you could do anything... [shot of realization dawning on Teal'c] ...for as long as you want... [shot of realization dawning on O'Neill] ...without having to worry about consequences.
[Shots of O'Neill and Teal'c looking at each other, as the full implications of what Daniel has said sink in]
O'Neill: ...Excuse me. [Gets up and leaves]
[Teal'c puts down the chalk he's been using to write on the blackboard, bows slightly at Daniel, and exits]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[A montage of Teal'c and O'Neill goofing off follows: ]
[Shot of O'Neill trying to make a pot on a pottery wheel. He fails and looks at the collapsed pot with disappointment.]
[Shot of an officer in one of the corridors of the SGC. We hear a bicycle bell ring. The officer steps back quickly to reveal O'Neill riding a bicycle towards the camera.]
Col. O'Neill: [As he rides past] Hey, Vern. How's the wife?
Officer: [confused] Uh...fine, sir...
[Teal'c and Col. O'Neill are standing on a patch of astroturf in front of the activated Stargate in full golf clothing, holding drivers. Teal'c shoots a golf ball into the gate.]
Col. O'Neill: [appreciatively] Oh yeah! That'll play...How far is Alaris, anyway?
Teal'c: [As he tees up a ball for O'Neill to shoot] Several billion miles, O'Neill.
Col. O'Neill: That's gotta be a record.
[O'Neill shoots a ball into the gate.]
[Shot of O'Neill successfully making a pot on the pottery wheel.]
[O'Neill is once again standing in front of the activated gate in full golf clothing. He begins his swing to shoot the ball into the gate...]
Gen. Hammond: [off, over the speaker] Colonel O'Neill, what the hell are you doing?!
Col. O'Neill: [turns to face the control room, which is behind and above the camera, shouts and gesticulates, frustrated] In the middle of my backswing?!
[Shot of Teal'c getting slammed in the face by the door again. He slams the door shut on the man who opened it and smirks.]
[O'Neill enters the control room in civilian clothing]
Col. O'Neill: Geo
[Shot of O'Neill trying to make a pot on a pottery wheel. He fails and looks at the collapsed pot with disappointment.]
[Shot of an officer in one of the corridors of the SGC. We hear a bicycle bell ring. The officer steps back quickly to reveal O'Neill riding a bicycle towards the camera.]
Col. O'Neill: [As he rides past] Hey, Vern. How's the wife?
Officer: [confused] Uh...fine, sir...
[Teal'c and Col. O'Neill are standing on a patch of astroturf in front of the activated Stargate in full golf clothing, holding drivers. Teal'c shoots a golf ball into the gate.]
Col. O'Neill: [appreciatively] Oh yeah! That'll play...How far is Alaris, anyway?
Teal'c: [As he tees up a ball for O'Neill to shoot] Several billion miles, O'Neill.
Col. O'Neill: That's gotta be a record.
[O'Neill shoots a ball into the gate.]
[Shot of O'Neill successfully making a pot on the pottery wheel.]
[O'Neill is once again standing in front of the activated gate in full golf clothing. He begins his swing to shoot the ball into the gate...]
Gen. Hammond: [off, over the speaker] Colonel O'Neill, what the hell are you doing?!
Col. O'Neill: [turns to face the control room, which is behind and above the camera, shouts and gesticulates, frustrated] In the middle of my backswing?!
[Shot of Teal'c getting slammed in the face by the door again. He slams the door shut on the man who opened it and smirks.]
[O'Neill enters the control room in civilian clothing]
Col. O'Neill: Geo
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill is in the mess, sitting with Daniel and Carter. He is eating oatmeal with obvious relish]
Dr. Jackson: I don't think I've ever seen anyone enjoy oatmeal so much.
Col. O'Neill: When you've been eating Froot Loops for who knows how long, a little variety helps.
Maj. Carter: We got a message from the Tok'ra. Apparently they've been trying to contact us for over three months.
Col. O'Neill: Really?
Maj. Carter: Who knows when they first realized we were cut off? I mean, there's really no telling how much time passed.
Dr. Jackson: Let me ask you something. In all the time you were…looping, were you ever tempted to…do something crazy? I mean, you could do anything without worrying about consequences.
Col. O'Neill: You know, it's funny, you've asked me that before. [looks at Carter]
Dr. Jackson: [Looks at Carter and smiles, then looks back at O'Neill] ...And?
[O'Neill just looks at Carter, smiles, and takes a bite of oatmeal. Fade to credits.]
Dr. Jackson: I don't think I've ever seen anyone enjoy oatmeal so much.
Col. O'Neill: When you've been eating Froot Loops for who knows how long, a little variety helps.
Maj. Carter: We got a message from the Tok'ra. Apparently they've been trying to contact us for over three months.
Col. O'Neill: Really?
Maj. Carter: Who knows when they first realized we were cut off? I mean, there's really no telling how much time passed.
Dr. Jackson: Let me ask you something. In all the time you were…looping, were you ever tempted to…do something crazy? I mean, you could do anything without worrying about consequences.
Col. O'Neill: You know, it's funny, you've asked me that before. [looks at Carter]
Dr. Jackson: [Looks at Carter and smiles, then looks back at O'Neill] ...And?
[O'Neill just looks at Carter, smiles, and takes a bite of oatmeal. Fade to credits.]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: You know what they say, General. If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try, try again.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1