Stargate SG-1 Quotes

Col. O'Neill: How do you know that?
Dr. Markov: I have read extensive files on each of you.
Col. O'Neill: How?
Dr. Markov: I learned to read English when I was six. It was not difficult.
Col. O'Neill: …Russian humor.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: If I say "What?" and you say "It's classified," I'm gonna shoot you.

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Markov: If you're implying that everything Russian-made is of poor quality, the sub is Swiss.
Dr. Jackson: So it occasionally catches fire but keeps perfect time? [pause] Sorry. I think I've been hanging around Jack O'Neill too much.
...
Dr. Markov: The gauge must be malfunctioning.
Dr. Jackson: But it's Swiss.

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: [upon seeing the frozen Maybourne] Holy frozen bad guy!

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teal'c: Do not humans usually die when they are frozen?
Col. O'Neill: Usually.
[The frozen Mayborne breathes out]
Col. O'Neill: They usually don't breathe when they're dead either.

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[Chaka, a juvenile Unas, has captured an exhausted Dr. Jackson and is dragging him through the woods]
Dr. Jackson: Okay, I know it seems completely unlikely that you understand a word I'm saying but, uh, I've gone about as far as I can go at this particular pace, so, with your permission, I'm going to fall down now. [collapses]
Chaka: [glares]
Dr. Jackson: Rest! This is a thing you should, uh, become familiar with. Rest… It means, uh… "rest."
Chaka: [growls]
Dr. Jackson: That's close. Try again: "grrrrest."

TV Show: Stargate SG-1


Dr. Rothman: It's not my thing.
Col. O'Neill: What isn't?
Dr. Rothman: People. I mean, give me a million-year-old fossil and I'll tell you what it had for breakfast, but I'm not too good at people. They're too recent.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: This is nothing you should be worried about. It's just a radio. It's so that my friends can come find me… and shoot you.

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[Teal'c has handcuffed O'Neill, along with the rest of the rescue team, believing that one of them may be a Goa'uld.]
Col. O'Neill: Okay, anyone with a snake in their head, raise their hand. [One of the marines that they're with snaps his handcuffs apart (raising his hand) as his eyes glow]
Col. O'Neill: Damn!

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teal'c: Trust in me, O'Neill.
Col. O'Neill: What if I'm not O'Neill?
Teal'c: Then I was not talking to you.

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: Kaa kedka!
Maj. Carter: What did you just say?
Dr. Jackson: I think I just asked him not to kill me.
Col. O'Neill: And he's buying that?
Dr. Jackson: No, I don't think so.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1


[Chaka is trying to get Daniel to eat the head of a dismembered Goa'uld symbiote]
Chaka: Nan! [He tosses the head in Daniel's direction. It lands in the dirt near Daniel's feet]
Dr. Jackson: Ka. [He picks up the head and tosses it back]
Chaka: Nan. [He tosses the head back to Daniel. This back-and-forth head tossing continues throughout the following interchange, Chaka growing visibly amused throughout]
Dr. Jackson: Ka.
Chaka: Nan.
Dr. Jackson: Ka.
Chaka: Nan.
Dr. Jackson: Right. Uh, yes, uh, toss the symbiote head, that's very, very popular. Very, very interesting...Yes, all the kids are doing this...
[Dr. Jackson throws the symbiote head into the fire.]
Dr. Jackson: [With poorly-feigned disappointment] Oh! Look out... it's in the fire...

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Took you long enough!
Teal'c: You are welcome O'Neill.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Hey, what have you got?
Maj. Carter: The analysis of the atmosphere in the wake of the ship shows a high incidence of Sulphur Dioxide.
Col. O'Neill: Chemical warfare?
Maj. Carter: I don’t think so sir. Take a look at this.
Col. O'Neill: Oh yeah! Little fuzzy orange things!
Maj. Carter: They're Microbes, sir...

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Maj. Carter: The question is, will they listen?
Col. O'Neill: No, the real question is, will they have ears?

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Col. O'Neill: I remember something. There was a man. He's bald and wears a short-sleeve shirt, and somehow he's very important to me. I think his name is Homer.

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Col. O'Neill: I dreamed about mining...naked.

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Dr. Jackson: You know, I've never been on a stakeout before. Shouldn't we have donuts or something?

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TV Show: Stargate SG-1