Stargate SG-1 Quotes

[Carter and Jackson are trying to deactivate the mine from exploding in the Cargo ship]
Jacob: Try!
Maj. Carter: What does Selmak say?
Jacob: Try again!
[Jackson stares at Jacob, blinking]
Dr. Jackson: Very helpful, thanks!

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teal'c: On Chulak, when a great warrior retires from the field of battle it is custom to sing a song of lament. Fortunately we are not on Chulak.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill has accompanied Maybourne to his safe house, where Maybourne has just opened the refrigerator to reveal that it is basically empty]
Col. O'Neill: I see you're on that famous Beer and Mustard Diet. How's that working out for ya?

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: So what do we know about this new guy?
Col. O'Neill: Not much.
Dr. Jackson: I hope he's not a spit-and-polish, brass tacks...
Col. O'Neill: [Interrupts him] Hard-ass?
Dr. Jackson: I was building up to that
A few moments later after Major General Bauer has delivered a very terse introduction of himself to the SGC Personnel
Col. O'Neill: Always leave 'em wanting more... I guess.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: May I remind you that if it weren't for SG-1, you'd be sitting here with a snake in your head instead of your head up your ass.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: [to Mrs. Kinsey] Afternoon ma'am. I'm Mr. Starsky and this is… Hutch (referring to Maybourne).

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: I'm not leaving until I get what I came for.
Sen. Kinsey: Oh, and what are you going to do?
Col. O'Neill: [pulls a gun on Kinsey] Well, I was thinkin' about shootin' ya.
Maybourne: Jack. What are you doing?"
Col. O'Neill: Getting a little dirty for ya Maybourne?

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Sen. Kinsey: Colonel, have you completely taken leave of your senses?
Col. O'Neill: I've been hanging around Maybourne. What does that say?
Sen. Kinsey: How dare you come into my house waving a gun!
Col. O'Neill: Not waving! Pointing! Sit down.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: I'll give you a choice. White meat, or dark meat

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Jack: [after entering Maybourne's apartment, which is almost completely empty] Have ya heard of IKEA?

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Sen. Kinsey: Given the chance, half of all American citizens won't even vote, and the half that do vote are too stupid to know what they're doing.
Col. O'Neill: Which explains how you got elected.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: Uh... the sun's beeping.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Teal'c and another Jaffa are attempting to pass through a security checkpoint, but the guard tells them to hand over their staff weapons]
Teal'c: We carry these for ceremonial purposes only.
Guard: I'm sorry, but you'll have to let me have it.
Teal'c: Very well. [shoots the guard]

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: So this is the place you kept threatening to take me. It's good to see you, sir.
Col. O'Neill: I'm retired, Carter. Lose the "sir".

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: It turns out we made a mistake. A big one.
Col. O'Neill: Which one? We made a few.
Maj. Carter: Our alliance with the Aschen.
Col. O'Neill: Oh, that. Not working out, is it? Gosh, I wish I'd seen that coming. Oh, wait…I did see that coming.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Well let me tell you something, Carter you want to erase your mistakes, that's your business. My conscience is clear. I warned everybody. I threw up the red flag and everyone, including you, shut me down.
Maj. Carter: I'm asking you to put that behind us...
Col. O'Neill: You're not happy with the way things turned out, I'm sorry to hear that... Personally, I like things the way they are. No more saving the world, just a nice pond with no pesky fish in it. And the single most pressing issue in my life is whether or not to get a dog...(beat) There're a lot of pros and cons to consider...

TV Show: Stargate SG-1



TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Sgt. Harriman leaves the briefing room, pretending he didn't see SG-1 planning there]
Maj. Carter: Thank you.
Dr. Jackson: Thank you.
Sgt. Harriman: Thursday!

TV Show: Stargate SG-1


[Hammond walks in and sees the Entity's construction]
Gen. Hammond: What in God's name?!
Col. O'Neill: Well, General, whatever got into our computers apparently has built a nest.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: What's wrong Harlan?
Harlan: Oh please yes, it is a very big emergency. You must help... you.

TV Show: Stargate SG-1