Stargate SG-1 Quotes
Writer: We could always go back to the way it was in the script.
Director: No, we can't. We've already established that one shot stuns and two shots kills, and Victor shot everybody twice.
Martin Lloyd: So three shots disintegrates them!
Director: I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, because that is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. [walks away][this is an obvious reference to the way Zat guns originally worked]
Martin Lloyd: [to writer] Why are you looking at me like I'm an idiot? Why are you even on set? Go write something!
Director: No, we can't. We've already established that one shot stuns and two shots kills, and Victor shot everybody twice.
Martin Lloyd: So three shots disintegrates them!
Director: I'm gonna pretend you didn't say that, because that is quite possibly the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. [walks away][this is an obvious reference to the way Zat guns originally worked]
Martin Lloyd: [to writer] Why are you looking at me like I'm an idiot? Why are you even on set? Go write something!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Carter: I don't know what happened, sir, we lost him. I mean, one minute he was here, the next minute he was gone.
O'Neill: Yeah, they have a habit of doing that.
O'Neill: Yeah, they have a habit of doing that.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Greenburg: [admiring a real space ship] Cool special effect.
Wright: I've seen better.
Greenburg: Ah, we'll fix it in post.
Wright: Yeah. So, you think we can get eighteen in?
Greenburg: Yeah, if we cut back on the Mulligans…You think that's funny?
Wright: Yeah, that's good enough for a walk away.
Greenburg: When's a good time to fade out?
Wright: Eh, right about…now.
[scene fades out]
Wright: I've seen better.
Greenburg: Ah, we'll fix it in post.
Wright: Yeah. So, you think we can get eighteen in?
Greenburg: Yeah, if we cut back on the Mulligans…You think that's funny?
Wright: Yeah, that's good enough for a walk away.
Greenburg: When's a good time to fade out?
Wright: Eh, right about…now.
[scene fades out]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[At the end of the show is a "behind the scenes look" at the creation of Wormhole X-Treme!]
Bocher: I'm Christian Bocher. I'm portraying the character of Raymond Gunne, who portrays the character of Dr. Levant, which is based on the character Daniel Jackson, portrayed by the actor Michael Shanks, originally portrayed by the actor James Spader…in the feature film...Uh, are you okay?
Bocher: I'm Christian Bocher. I'm portraying the character of Raymond Gunne, who portrays the character of Dr. Levant, which is based on the character Daniel Jackson, portrayed by the actor Michael Shanks, originally portrayed by the actor James Spader…in the feature film...Uh, are you okay?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[In the behind-the-scenes look]
Peter DeLuise: You realize this is not a real show.
Michael DeLuise: You saying Wormhole X-Treme isn't real? All this is...?
Peter DeLuise: It's not a real show. It's a fake show.
Michael DeLuise: Did my agent know about this?
Michael DeLuise: Am I getting paid real money?
Peter DeLuise: You realize this is not a real show.
Michael DeLuise: You saying Wormhole X-Treme isn't real? All this is...?
Peter DeLuise: It's not a real show. It's a fake show.
Michael DeLuise: Did my agent know about this?
Michael DeLuise: Am I getting paid real money?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: Uh, sir, if you don't mind, your wound is getting all over my lab.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[As part of a training scenario for new recruits, Jackson is occupying Hammond's office.]
Dr. Jackson: [sitting in Hammond's chair] Oh, I have to tell you, I like this scenario way better than the last one. Have you tried this chair? This is like…really comfortable. [pounds the chair's arm to prove it]
Dr. Jackson: [sitting in Hammond's chair] Oh, I have to tell you, I like this scenario way better than the last one. Have you tried this chair? This is like…really comfortable. [pounds the chair's arm to prove it]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: [ominously] Have fun, Daniel.
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, you did tell them to take me prisoner this time and not shoot me, right? Right? [no answer] Hello?
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, you did tell them to take me prisoner this time and not shoot me, right? Right? [no answer] Hello?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: [Gets up off the ground] So! We're all dead! And there's an armed Goa'uld on the loose... I got a problem with that. Anyone else got a problem with that?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: You hesitated Lieutenant.
Elliot: I was assessing the situation, sir.
Col. O'Neill: Okay, we all ended up dead. Assess that.
Elliot: I stopped to argue with Grogan and lost control of the situation.
Col. O'Neill: And that wasn't even your first mistake. (Jack points at Satterfield) What's your excuse?
Satterfield: I didn't believe Dr Jackson was a Goa'uld.
Maj. Carter: Why not, Satterfield?
Satterfield: I don't know, ma'am. That was just my instinct.
Haley: She thinks he's cute.
Elliot: I was assessing the situation, sir.
Col. O'Neill: Okay, we all ended up dead. Assess that.
Elliot: I stopped to argue with Grogan and lost control of the situation.
Col. O'Neill: And that wasn't even your first mistake. (Jack points at Satterfield) What's your excuse?
Satterfield: I didn't believe Dr Jackson was a Goa'uld.
Maj. Carter: Why not, Satterfield?
Satterfield: I don't know, ma'am. That was just my instinct.
Haley: She thinks he's cute.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Okay, so one of your team members distracted you into getting shot by the enemy and you want to poke holes in the training scenario?
Elliot: It wasn't a fair test.
Col. O'Neill: There's such a thing as over-thinking a situation, Lieutenant. When you're dealing with what we deal with, you've got to think on your feet and think fast. These and other cliches will be available to you all for one more day of training with me. After that, you'll either be assigned to an SG team or not. Dismissed.
Elliot: It wasn't a fair test.
Col. O'Neill: There's such a thing as over-thinking a situation, Lieutenant. When you're dealing with what we deal with, you've got to think on your feet and think fast. These and other cliches will be available to you all for one more day of training with me. After that, you'll either be assigned to an SG team or not. Dismissed.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj Carter: Grogan. He'll make a fine addition to an SG team one day.
Col. O'Neill: He'll make a fine target. He's good at getting shot.
Maj Carter: (laughs) Okay, Satterfield's bright.
Col. O'Neill: I give her high marks for her... high marks. I'd never go into combat with her.
Maj Carter: Then there's Haley...
Col. O'Neill: Oh yeah. Four foot nine fightin' machine.
Maj Carter: (laughs) Colonel...
Col. O'Neill: All right. Fine. They're the future of the Air Force, the program, the entire planet. God help us.
Maj Carter: Try to remember when you were in their shoes.
Col. O'Neill: I wore boots.
Maj Carter: Think back to when you were their age.
Col. O'Neill: I was never their age.
Col. O'Neill: He'll make a fine target. He's good at getting shot.
Maj Carter: (laughs) Okay, Satterfield's bright.
Col. O'Neill: I give her high marks for her... high marks. I'd never go into combat with her.
Maj Carter: Then there's Haley...
Col. O'Neill: Oh yeah. Four foot nine fightin' machine.
Maj Carter: (laughs) Colonel...
Col. O'Neill: All right. Fine. They're the future of the Air Force, the program, the entire planet. God help us.
Maj Carter: Try to remember when you were in their shoes.
Col. O'Neill: I wore boots.
Maj Carter: Think back to when you were their age.
Col. O'Neill: I was never their age.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj Carter: They didn't take corridor C19 like you told them to.
Col. O'Neill: Crafty little buggers.
Col. O'Neill: Crafty little buggers.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Grogan: We kicked ass!
Col. O'Neill: You got yourself shot again Grogan, don't be so cocky.
Col. O'Neill: You got yourself shot again Grogan, don't be so cocky.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. Maybourne: Hi, Jack.
Col. O'Neill: You rat bastard!
Col. Maybourne: Hey, hey, hey... take it easy...
Col. O'Neill: I am so gonna kick your ass!
Col. Maybourne: There's people watching!
Col. O'Neill: I don't care!
Col. Maybourne: It wasn't me! I didn't shoot ya Jack!
Col. O'Neill: Then who did?!
Col. Maybourne: I don't know.
Col. O'Neill: What do you know?!
Col. Maybourne: Only what I read in the NID file, that you were shot and the Goa'uld escaped.
Col. O'Neill: You came all the way back to Colorado Springs to tell me ya didn't do it?
Col. Maybourne: I didn't think you'd believe me any other way.
Col. O'Neill: You rat bastard!
Col. Maybourne: Hey, hey, hey... take it easy...
Col. O'Neill: I am so gonna kick your ass!
Col. Maybourne: There's people watching!
Col. O'Neill: I don't care!
Col. Maybourne: It wasn't me! I didn't shoot ya Jack!
Col. O'Neill: Then who did?!
Col. Maybourne: I don't know.
Col. O'Neill: What do you know?!
Col. Maybourne: Only what I read in the NID file, that you were shot and the Goa'uld escaped.
Col. O'Neill: You came all the way back to Colorado Springs to tell me ya didn't do it?
Col. Maybourne: I didn't think you'd believe me any other way.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: What makes you think I care if you live or die?
Conrad/Goa'uld: What about the host?
Col. O'Neill: He tried to kill a friend of mine to save his own ass so I don't much care about him either.
Conrad/Goa'uld: If you kill me, Teal'c dies.
Col. O'Neill: Give me another choice.
Conrad/Goa'uld: Let me go. Once I am free, I will contact you with the information.
Col. O'Neill: I think Teal'c would rather I shoot you.
Conrad/Goa'uld: What about the host?
Col. O'Neill: He tried to kill a friend of mine to save his own ass so I don't much care about him either.
Conrad/Goa'uld: If you kill me, Teal'c dies.
Col. O'Neill: Give me another choice.
Conrad/Goa'uld: Let me go. Once I am free, I will contact you with the information.
Col. O'Neill: I think Teal'c would rather I shoot you.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1