Stargate SG-1 Quotes
Col. O'Neill: Hey.
Maj. Carter: Jack?
Col. O'Neill: [Shocked] Excuse me?
Maj. Carter: Sorry Sir.
Col. O'Neill: Yes, well, a massive concussion will tend to disorient one.
Maj. Carter: How long was I out there?
Col. O'Neill: It's all relative Carter, that whole time space continuum thing.
Maj. Carter: Sir...
Col. O'Neill: Four days.
Maj. Carter: Could have sworn it was weeks.
Col. O'Neill: Teal'c and Daniel say 'Hi'. They're planning a little bit of a shindig for when you're up and around. There's talk of cake.
Maj. Carter: [Smiles]Cake?
Col. O'Neill: My idea!
Maj. Carter: Can't wait.
Col. O'Neill: Need anything? Magazine? Yo yo?
Maj. Carter: I'm fine.
Col. O'Neill: Yes you are.
Maj. Carter: Thank you Sir.
Col. O'Neill: For what?
Maj. Carter: ... Nothing.
Col. O'Neill: Think nothing of it. I've got plenty of that.
Maj. Carter: Jack?
Col. O'Neill: [Shocked] Excuse me?
Maj. Carter: Sorry Sir.
Col. O'Neill: Yes, well, a massive concussion will tend to disorient one.
Maj. Carter: How long was I out there?
Col. O'Neill: It's all relative Carter, that whole time space continuum thing.
Maj. Carter: Sir...
Col. O'Neill: Four days.
Maj. Carter: Could have sworn it was weeks.
Col. O'Neill: Teal'c and Daniel say 'Hi'. They're planning a little bit of a shindig for when you're up and around. There's talk of cake.
Maj. Carter: [Smiles]Cake?
Col. O'Neill: My idea!
Maj. Carter: Can't wait.
Col. O'Neill: Need anything? Magazine? Yo yo?
Maj. Carter: I'm fine.
Col. O'Neill: Yes you are.
Maj. Carter: Thank you Sir.
Col. O'Neill: For what?
Maj. Carter: ... Nothing.
Col. O'Neill: Think nothing of it. I've got plenty of that.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[The leaders of Langara have been negotiating with the SGC for a planet to evacuate to]
Col. O'Neill: You folks are done.
Dreylock: I don't understand.
Col. O'Neill: Well, you see, we actually like the Medronans. They're nice people. And we've decided there's no way we'd subject them to the likes of you. [smiles innocently] Deal's off. You're toast.
Col. O'Neill: You folks are done.
Dreylock: I don't understand.
Col. O'Neill: Well, you see, we actually like the Medronans. They're nice people. And we've decided there's no way we'd subject them to the likes of you. [smiles innocently] Deal's off. You're toast.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: [regarding the SGC] Miss it?
Jonas: Yeah, I do.
Dr. Jackson: Well, judging from what you have to deal with back on Kelowna, I'm not surprised. I think I'd take life-threatening danger over one of those council meetings any day of the week.
Jonas: Yeah, I do.
Dr. Jackson: Well, judging from what you have to deal with back on Kelowna, I'm not surprised. I think I'd take life-threatening danger over one of those council meetings any day of the week.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Daniel, their planet's going to explode!
Dr. Jackson: Jack.
Col. O'Neill: The whole damn planet!
Dr. Jackson: Jack.
Col. O'Neill: The whole damn planet!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: [To the leaders of Langara] That's what you get for dickin' around.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: I feel compelled to warn you, most of the guys I've dated recently have died.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Elevator doors open to reveal Col. O'Neill]
Maj. Carter: Colonel!
Col. O'Neill: Carter.
Dr. Jackson: Coffee (Yawns)
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Maj. Carter begins humming the show's theme music as she and Col. O'Neill ride an elevator.]
Col. O'Neill: Humming?
Maj. Carter: I am?
Col. O'Neill: You are.
Maj. Carter: Sorry.
Col. O'Neill: What's his name?
Maj. Carter: Now, why would you…
Col. O'Neill: Humming.
Maj. Carter: Pete.
Col. O'Neill: Pete.
Maj. Carter: Pete Shanahan, he's a cop.
Col. O'Neill: Speeding again, are we?
Maj. Carter: From Denver, he's a friend of my brother's.
Col. O'Neill: Set up.
Maj. Carter: Pathetic, I know.
Col. O'Neill: No, it's great.
Maj. Carter: Really?
Col. O'Neill: Isn't it?
Maj. Carter: Well, it's not serious.
Col. O'Neill: And yet...it is...hum-worthy.
Maj. Carter: Sir...
Col. O'Neill: Carter, it's none of my business, I'm just happy you're happy about something other than...quarks. [Pauses] Not bad with the quarks, huh?
Maj. Carter: Oh, excellent.
[pause]
Col. O'Neill: Bit uncomfortable, isn't it?
Maj. Carter: Yeah, a bit.
Col. O'Neill: Good luck.
Maj. Carter: Thank you, sir.
Col. O'Neill: Humming?
Maj. Carter: I am?
Col. O'Neill: You are.
Maj. Carter: Sorry.
Col. O'Neill: What's his name?
Maj. Carter: Now, why would you…
Col. O'Neill: Humming.
Maj. Carter: Pete.
Col. O'Neill: Pete.
Maj. Carter: Pete Shanahan, he's a cop.
Col. O'Neill: Speeding again, are we?
Maj. Carter: From Denver, he's a friend of my brother's.
Col. O'Neill: Set up.
Maj. Carter: Pathetic, I know.
Col. O'Neill: No, it's great.
Maj. Carter: Really?
Col. O'Neill: Isn't it?
Maj. Carter: Well, it's not serious.
Col. O'Neill: And yet...it is...hum-worthy.
Maj. Carter: Sir...
Col. O'Neill: Carter, it's none of my business, I'm just happy you're happy about something other than...quarks. [Pauses] Not bad with the quarks, huh?
Maj. Carter: Oh, excellent.
[pause]
Col. O'Neill: Bit uncomfortable, isn't it?
Maj. Carter: Yeah, a bit.
Col. O'Neill: Good luck.
Maj. Carter: Thank you, sir.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teal'c: Knowing your past experiences, Daniel Jackson, I do not know how you have slept well before now.
Dr. Jackson: Thank you, Teal'c. This conversation has been disturbing on many levels.
Dr. Jackson: Thank you, Teal'c. This conversation has been disturbing on many levels.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gen. Hammond: You're suggesting that Osiris is here on Earth manipulating Dr. Jackson's dreams?
Maj. Carter: We think it's possible, sir.
Col. O'Neill: Kinky.
Maj. Carter: We think it's possible, sir.
Col. O'Neill: Kinky.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: It's done. It's just not… finished.
Maj. Carter: Have you not had your coffee this morning?
Jacob: ... Selmak doesn't like coffee.
Maj. Carter: You gave up coffee for your symbiote?
Col. O'Neill: We'll jump off that bridge when we come to it.
Maj. Carter: Have you not had your coffee this morning?
Jacob: ... Selmak doesn't like coffee.
Maj. Carter: You gave up coffee for your symbiote?
Col. O'Neill: We'll jump off that bridge when we come to it.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Talking to Dr. Jackson over the phone]
Col. O'Neill: No, no, no, wait. Don't hang up. I need a seven-letter word.
Dr. Jackson: I told Sam I wouldn't help you.
Col. O'Neill: Well then, this will be the one thing she doesn't know. "Up, Down, Charm"... Blank.
Dr. Jackson: "Strange."
Col. O'Neill: Yeah, well, thanks anyway.
Dr. Jackson: No, the word you're looking for is... [O'Neill hangs up]
[Cut to Colonel O'Neill stepping out of the elevator where Daniel, Teal'c and Sam are waiting impatiently]
Col. O'Neill: How long have you been standing there?
Dr. Jackson: You said half an hour an hour ago.
Maj. Carter: General Hammond is waiting for us.
[Colonel O'Neill hands Maj. Carter the crossword puzzle]
Maj. Carter: The fate of the universe is hanging in the balance and you've been sitting in your truck finishing this?
Col. O'Neill: I believe the bet was double or nothing. [SG1 begins walking up the stairs towards the briefing room]
Maj. Carter: Okay, 23 across, "the atomic weight of boron." The answer is ten.
Col. O'Neill: So?
Maj. Carter: You wrote "fat."
Col. O'Neill: Your point?
Col. O'Neill: No, no, no, wait. Don't hang up. I need a seven-letter word.
Dr. Jackson: I told Sam I wouldn't help you.
Col. O'Neill: Well then, this will be the one thing she doesn't know. "Up, Down, Charm"... Blank.
Dr. Jackson: "Strange."
Col. O'Neill: Yeah, well, thanks anyway.
Dr. Jackson: No, the word you're looking for is... [O'Neill hangs up]
[Cut to Colonel O'Neill stepping out of the elevator where Daniel, Teal'c and Sam are waiting impatiently]
Col. O'Neill: How long have you been standing there?
Dr. Jackson: You said half an hour an hour ago.
Maj. Carter: General Hammond is waiting for us.
[Colonel O'Neill hands Maj. Carter the crossword puzzle]
Maj. Carter: The fate of the universe is hanging in the balance and you've been sitting in your truck finishing this?
Col. O'Neill: I believe the bet was double or nothing. [SG1 begins walking up the stairs towards the briefing room]
Maj. Carter: Okay, 23 across, "the atomic weight of boron." The answer is ten.
Col. O'Neill: So?
Maj. Carter: You wrote "fat."
Col. O'Neill: Your point?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Daniel Jackson: [Describing the particulars of the Ancient device] Except for it wasn't meant for a physiology as primitive as ours.
Col. O'Neill: Easy fella ...
Daniel Jackson: Sorry.
Col. O'Neill: Easy fella ...
Daniel Jackson: Sorry.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: [Sitting on the ground] You know we've searched this place up and down...
Daniel Jackson: I know.
Col. O'Neill: We could have Goa'uld on our collective asses any minute now...
Daniel Jackson: I know....According to the text on this column, it's inside.
Col. O'Neill: [Sarcastically] Inside you say. Well let me tell you my friend. There is no inside. There's just a whole lot of [Hands pointing out for dramatic effect] outside.
Daniel Jackson: I know.
Col. O'Neill: We could have Goa'uld on our collective asses any minute now...
Daniel Jackson: I know....According to the text on this column, it's inside.
Col. O'Neill: [Sarcastically] Inside you say. Well let me tell you my friend. There is no inside. There's just a whole lot of [Hands pointing out for dramatic effect] outside.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Ba'al: You dare mock me?
Gen. O'Neill: Ba'al, come on! You should know. Of course I dare mock you.
Ba'al: You have one more day. [Ba'al's hologram disappears]
Gilmore: Is it really wise to provoke him?
Gen. O'Neill: It's what I do.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Emmett Bregman is attempting to interview all the top officers of the SGC, including SG-1]
Bregman: Col. O'Neill. Hi. I'm—
Col. O'Neill: [walking right past him] I like vanilla over chocolate, my favorite color is peridot, I think Tibet should be free, and if I could have dinner with anyone in the world, it'd be Mary Steenburgen.
Bregman: No-no, I'm just trying… Mary Steenburgen?
Col. O'Neill: I think she's nice.
[Jackson has just led Bregman's camera crew on a chase through the SGC to his office, just to pick up a fax, which he reads aloud.]
Bregman: What is the, uh…what is the significance of that?
Dr. Jackson: It's fascinating.
Bregman: It's fasc…Okay. [to his crew] Back up. Back up. [back to Daniel] Uh, that's it? It's "fascinating"? Then why were we running?
Dr. Jackson: Oh, uh, I just wanted to see if you'd chase me. [grins]
[Carter gives a whole long presentation on the Stargate's inner workings]
Bregman: …could we get a shot of the Gate spinning?
Maj. Carter: [sarcastically] Sure. It's really cool. Steam comes out of it and everything.
[SG-13 is exploring a new planet, heavily forested]
Col. Dixon: I don't see any indication of anything here.
Dr. Balinsky: Take the usual bet on that, sir?
Col. Dixon: Sure. Wells?
Airman Wells: Abandoned naquadah mine.
Col. Dixon: Boring. But good odds. Bosworth?
Bosworth: I'm going to put my money on trees, sir.
Col. Dixon: Bosworth's disqualified for being a smart ass. I'll go with two-headed aliens.
Airman Wells: Hostile or friendly, sir?
Col. Dixon: One head good, one head bad. Bali
Bregman: Col. O'Neill. Hi. I'm—
Col. O'Neill: [walking right past him] I like vanilla over chocolate, my favorite color is peridot, I think Tibet should be free, and if I could have dinner with anyone in the world, it'd be Mary Steenburgen.
Bregman: No-no, I'm just trying… Mary Steenburgen?
Col. O'Neill: I think she's nice.
[Jackson has just led Bregman's camera crew on a chase through the SGC to his office, just to pick up a fax, which he reads aloud.]
Bregman: What is the, uh…what is the significance of that?
Dr. Jackson: It's fascinating.
Bregman: It's fasc…Okay. [to his crew] Back up. Back up. [back to Daniel] Uh, that's it? It's "fascinating"? Then why were we running?
Dr. Jackson: Oh, uh, I just wanted to see if you'd chase me. [grins]
[Carter gives a whole long presentation on the Stargate's inner workings]
Bregman: …could we get a shot of the Gate spinning?
Maj. Carter: [sarcastically] Sure. It's really cool. Steam comes out of it and everything.
[SG-13 is exploring a new planet, heavily forested]
Col. Dixon: I don't see any indication of anything here.
Dr. Balinsky: Take the usual bet on that, sir?
Col. Dixon: Sure. Wells?
Airman Wells: Abandoned naquadah mine.
Col. Dixon: Boring. But good odds. Bosworth?
Bosworth: I'm going to put my money on trees, sir.
Col. Dixon: Bosworth's disqualified for being a smart ass. I'll go with two-headed aliens.
Airman Wells: Hostile or friendly, sir?
Col. Dixon: One head good, one head bad. Bali
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Bregman: You know, I'm going to get you on camera sooner or later, even if all I get is a series of shots of you avoiding being got.
Col. O'Neill: Fire away. I hope shots of my ass serve you well.
Col. O'Neill: Fire away. I hope shots of my ass serve you well.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: [Enters Col. O'Neill's private medical quarters] Sir, heard you were up and around.
Col. O'Neill: Yeah... argh... still a little tender but they said I could go home.
Maj. Carter: We're lucky that staff blast hit you where it did. That new vest inserts works well.
Col. O'Neill: Didn't help Fraiser much...
Maj. Carter: ... No.
Col. O'Neill: [after a moments silence] How's Cassie?
Maj. Carter: She's a strong kid, she survives, you know...
Col. O'Neill: Yeah. You speaking at the memorial?
Maj. Carter: [nods] Sir... I... I just wanted to say... When you were lying there, I... [fights back tears] I'm really glad you're okay.
Col. O'Neill: [Walks over to her] C'mere. [He pulls her into a hug]
Col. O'Neill: Yeah... argh... still a little tender but they said I could go home.
Maj. Carter: We're lucky that staff blast hit you where it did. That new vest inserts works well.
Col. O'Neill: Didn't help Fraiser much...
Maj. Carter: ... No.
Col. O'Neill: [after a moments silence] How's Cassie?
Maj. Carter: She's a strong kid, she survives, you know...
Col. O'Neill: Yeah. You speaking at the memorial?
Maj. Carter: [nods] Sir... I... I just wanted to say... When you were lying there, I... [fights back tears] I'm really glad you're okay.
Col. O'Neill: [Walks over to her] C'mere. [He pulls her into a hug]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: Janet Fraiser was an extraordinary person. She was kind and funny and talented. Above all, she was courageous. Try as I might I could not find the words to honor her, to do justice to her life. Thankfully I got some help. While words alone may not be enough, there are some names that might do. We often talk about those that give their lives in the service of their country, and while Janet Fraiser did just that, that's not what her life was about. The following are the names of the men and women who did not die in service, but who are in fact alive today because of Janet.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: Ever had a birthday? You know a birthday, cake with candles on it, funny hats, pin the tail on the donkey, that kind of thing.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: Someone from a top secret, not to mention illegal, NID operation called 911?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1