Stargate SG-1 Quotes
Dr. Jackson: Who shot me?!
[O'Neill exchanges very uncomfortable looks with Carter and Teal'c]
Gen. O'Neill: You were shooting up the Gate room...
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: I was just going over some research material on the delegates they're sending. Camulus was the one who sent the original message. Then there's Amaterasu, Japanese Sun Goddess, and the last one is Lord Yu.
Dr. Weir: Yu?
Dr. Jackson: Don't. Every joke, every pun, done to death, seriously.
Dr. Jackson: The System Lords can't be trusted, either as a group or individuals. They're posturing egomaniacs driven by an unsatisfiable lust for power, each one capable of unimaginable evil.
Dr. Weir: See, why should I be nervous? Sounds like an average day at the United Nations.
Camulus: Your unexpected defeat of Anubis has created an unstable situation among the System Lords. In order to avoid open war, we came to an agreement to divide his territories and his armies evenly.
Dr. Jackson: How civilized of you.
Camulus: Yes. Unforunately, one among us has broken that agreement.
Dr. Jackson: Oh, no, no. Don't…don't tell me, let me…let me guess. It's ummm…
Amaterasu: [annoyed] Ba'al.
Dr. Jackson: Ba'al!
Dr. Weir: Yu?
Dr. Jackson: Don't. Every joke, every pun, done to death, seriously.
Dr. Jackson: The System Lords can't be trusted, either as a group or individuals. They're posturing egomaniacs driven by an unsatisfiable lust for power, each one capable of unimaginable evil.
Dr. Weir: See, why should I be nervous? Sounds like an average day at the United Nations.
Camulus: Your unexpected defeat of Anubis has created an unstable situation among the System Lords. In order to avoid open war, we came to an agreement to divide his territories and his armies evenly.
Dr. Jackson: How civilized of you.
Camulus: Yes. Unforunately, one among us has broken that agreement.
Dr. Jackson: Oh, no, no. Don't…don't tell me, let me…let me guess. It's ummm…
Amaterasu: [annoyed] Ba'al.
Dr. Jackson: Ba'al!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Thor: Time space distortions caused by the black hole have been interfering with my ship's long-range communications.
Maj. Carter: Understandable.
Teal'c: Indeed. To some.
Maj. Carter: Understandable.
Teal'c: Indeed. To some.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Weir: Oh, I'm not sure anything can surprise me at this point.
Camulus: I wish to request asylum.
Dr. Weir: Well, it seems I was wrong again.
Camulus: I wish to request asylum.
Dr. Weir: Well, it seems I was wrong again.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: What's the last thing you remember?
Col. O'Neill: Getting my head sucked by one of those dang... Ancient... head suckers...And something about twins.
Col. O'Neill: Getting my head sucked by one of those dang... Ancient... head suckers...And something about twins.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill regains consciousness, realizing Teal'c is no longer bald]
Col. O'Neill: Teal'c. What's with the hair?
Thor: O'Neill.
Col. O'Neill: Thor. You got aspirin?
Thor: You should feel better momentarily, and your memory will slowly return.
[Pause]
Col. O'Neill: Teal'c. What's with the hair?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: Sweet. What is it?
Dr. Jackson: We don't know, you made it.
Col. O'Neill: No.
Dr. Jackson: Yes.
Col. O'Neill: No.
Dr. Jackson: Yes.
Col. O'Neill: No.
Dr. Jackson: Yes.
Thor: You accessed the Ancient knowledge in your mind and instructed the ship's computer to design it.
Col. O'Neill: Doesn't mean I know what it is.
Dr. Jackson: You have to try, Jack.
[O'Neill looks uncertain, then approaches the weapon. He looks at it from several angles, then pokes at it uncertainly.]
Col. O'Neill: [After a moment, as though comprehension has struck him] Ah!
[O'Neill turns to the others]
Col. O'Neill: Yeah, I got nothin'.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill is mowing down Replicators with his new weapon]
Col. O'Neill: Who's your daddy!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr Weir: The Pentagon has convinced the President that there is one man who could run the SGC and make it politically viable from an international perspective, despite the fact that he is part of the American military establishment.
Col. O'Neill: Do we know this ... shrub?
Dr. Weir: Well, you know him rather well ... Brigadier General Jack O’Neill.
Col. O'Neill: [Stunned] Me?!
Dr. Weir: Yeah, you.
Col. O'Neill: Brigadier ... it’s on my list.
Dr. Weir: Congratulations.
Col. O'Neill: I should be clear... I like the promotion, paycheck and the parking spot. But I don’t really wanna be in charge of anything. No.
Col. O'Neill: Do we know this ... shrub?
Dr. Weir: Well, you know him rather well ... Brigadier General Jack O’Neill.
Col. O'Neill: [Stunned] Me?!
Dr. Weir: Yeah, you.
Col. O'Neill: Brigadier ... it’s on my list.
Dr. Weir: Congratulations.
Col. O'Neill: I should be clear... I like the promotion, paycheck and the parking spot. But I don’t really wanna be in charge of anything. No.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. O'Neill: I've spent my whole life stickin' it to the Man. If I do this, I'll be the Man. I don't think I can be the Man.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maj. Carter: If you don’t take the job, we could end up with someone much worse. [Jack looks at her] Ok... that didn’t come out right...
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill has recently been promoted to Brigadier General. When he walks into the room, Carter snaps to attention]
Gen. O'Neill: I'm only going to say this once, Carter: At ease.
Gen. O'Neill: I'm only going to say this once, Carter: At ease.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: So, how's the new job?
Gen. O'Neill: Oy! One crisis after another. This morning the mess got a shipment of Yukon Gold potatoes instead of the usual Russets.
Dr. Jackson: [sarcastic] No!
Gen. O'Neill: Oh, yes! The Golds don't make for good mash. Consistency's all wrong.
Lt. Col. Carter: I hear the new Russian Colonel came to see you, made a pitch to join SG-1.
Gen. O'Neill: Yeah.
Dr. Jackson: What'd you say?
Gen. O'Neill: Told 'em to make french fries instead.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Col. Vaselov, a Russian recruit for the SGC, is insulted when O'Neill denies his request to join SG-1]
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, don't take General O'Neill's decision personally.
Col. Vaselov: Frankly, his attitude is offensive. It leads me to wonder if he knows the cold war is over.
Dr. Jackson: His attitude has nothing to do with you being Russian. He's an equal opportunity offender.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Col. Carter: Did you notice anything peculiar about him, sir?
Gen. O'Neill: I thought it odd he was shooting up the Gate room.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teal'c: And your condition?
Col. Vaselov: Not so good. But not so bad as the time I went drinking with Gen. Daskaivitch in Novgorod. That was worse headache.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gen. O'Neill: You're not supposed to be walking around.
Dr. Jackson: It's my arm.
Gen. O'Neill: You were shot.
Dr. Jackson: Yeah. You shot me.
Gen. O'Neill: Not my point.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. Vaselov: Are you being discharged?
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, Dr. Brightman caught me stealing jello from the other patients' trays, so she kicked me outta here.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gen. O'Neill: He can pass through walls, Carter. He's welcome to leave any time.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[O'Neill has collapsed at the foot of the Gate's ramp]
Gen. O'Neill: I'm okay! ...ish.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gen. O'Neill: WALTER!
Sgt. Harriman: Sorry, sir. General O'Neill, Mark Gilmore. He's your new administrative aide.
Gilmore: General.
Gen. O'Neill: Did I order one of this--
Sgt. Harriman: [answers quickly before the question is finished] No, sir.
Gen. O'Neill: Do I really need--
Sgt. Harriman: Yes, sir.
Sgt. Harriman: Sorry, sir. General O'Neill, Mark Gilmore. He's your new administrative aide.
Gilmore: General.
Gen. O'Neill: Did I order one of this--
Sgt. Harriman: [answers quickly before the question is finished] No, sir.
Gen. O'Neill: Do I really need--
Sgt. Harriman: Yes, sir.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gilmore: [regarding Jack] Well, he's not like other generals.
Sgt. Harriman: Actually, he's not like other people.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Col. Carter: General.
Gen. O'Neill: Colonel! We've all met.
Dr. Jackson: Yes, actually, we know each other's life stories.
Gen. O'Neill: That snippiness?
Dr. Jackson: Is that a word?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Regarding the alien plant that's taken over a lab]
Dr. Lee: Well, the good news is, it hasn't eaten anybody yet.
Gen. O'Neill: [sarcastically] Well, thank you, Seymour.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1