Stargate SG-1 Quotes
Vala: Come on, you've seen me naked. The least you could do is cook me dinner.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maybourne: I get to name all kinds of stuff. You should see the Grateful Dead Burial Ground.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Maybourne: I guess congratulations are in order. You made general.
Gen. O'Neill: You made king!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[The team fetches O'Neill to operate the Ancient time ship. He sits down and looks around.]
Gen. O'Neill: You're gonna have to help me out here, Carter. Got any quarters?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Garan: Surrender your weapons, or die where you stand!
Gen. O'Neill: Oh, if I had a nickel...
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[A tense standoff with the local inhabitants has just been defused.]
Gen. O'Neill: God, I miss goin' off world!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Teal'c and Daniel have been captured by Trelak, the head of Ares' Jaffa.]
Trelak: Know this, shol'va; I will see to it that you suffer slowly.
Teal'c: And I will see to it that you die quickly.
[Later, Teal'c fights Trelak and ends it by sticking a dagger in his gut.]
Trelak: [last breath] You are a man of your word.
Teal'c: Indeed. [shoves the knife in deeper and walks away before Trelak even hits the ground]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Kinsey offers O'Neill his help]
Gen. O'Neill: I'm sorry. I must have missed an episode.
Gen. O'Neill: I'm sorry. I must have missed an episode.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Col. Carter: So, any big plans for the weekend?
Gen. O'Neill: Oh yeah, big. Huge!
Lt. Col. Carter: Yeah, me neither.
Gen. O'Neill: Oh, what are you talkin' about? I just walked in with a whole handful of ingredients for my world-famous omelettes.
Lt. Col. Carter: World-famous, huh? What's in it?
Gen. O'Neill: Eggs.
Lt. Col. Carter: I don't think that that actually qualifies as a recipe.
Gen. O'Neill: Oh, don't kid yourself. There's a secret ingredient. I can't tell you what it is, or I'd have to shoot you.
Lt. Col. Carter: It's beer, isn't it?
Gen. O'Neill: Oh yeah, big. Huge!
Lt. Col. Carter: Yeah, me neither.
Gen. O'Neill: Oh, what are you talkin' about? I just walked in with a whole handful of ingredients for my world-famous omelettes.
Lt. Col. Carter: World-famous, huh? What's in it?
Gen. O'Neill: Eggs.
Lt. Col. Carter: I don't think that that actually qualifies as a recipe.
Gen. O'Neill: Oh, don't kid yourself. There's a secret ingredient. I can't tell you what it is, or I'd have to shoot you.
Lt. Col. Carter: It's beer, isn't it?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Oshu: Lord Ba'al was wise to send a representative.
Yu: I would have killed him with my own hands!
Yu: I would have killed him with my own hands!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gordie: [reading a letter] See, I'm not sure you should have sent in this one about Seth. It wasn't one of your best.
Bert: [reading another letter] They rejected "Hathor"?! Oh, but it was gold!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gen O'Neill: Look, I can see this isn't really your forte... so why don't you just put the gun down, before you get hurt.
Joe Spencer: Just don't come any closer!
Gen O'Neill: I know your gun isn't real... however... mine is! [he draws his gun and points it at Joe]
Joe Spencer: Oh God! I'm sorry I'm sorry you're right it's just a toy!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Joe Spencer: Between you and me, I totally see the analogy. Burns as Goa'uld.
Gen. O'Neill: Thank you!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: Jack?
Gen. O'Neill: He's a barber.
Dr. Jackson: Broke into your house?
Gen. O'Neill: Yeah...
Dr. Jackson: Second week in a row.
Gen. O'Neill: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Jackson: Alarm.
Gen. O'Neill: I'm thinking "dog".
Joe Spencer: You could try locking your front door.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Joe Spencer: [to Teal'c] I know the hair makes you look different, but didn't you used to be more gold colored?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Col. Carter: If General O'Neill had a stone as well shouldn't he've been able to see aspects of his life?
Dr. Jackson: Theoretically, yes he should.
[we see flashes of Joe at a bowling alley. He rolls a strike]
Gen. O'Neill: ...Thursday nights... Bowling League...
Joe Spencer: You saw that?
Gen. O'Neill: You've got game son.
Dr. Jackson: Wait a minute. Jack, you've been seeing parts of the life of a barber in Indiana for seven years, and you never mentioned it?
Gen. O'Neill: Yeah, sure I did. I know I did.
Lt. Col. Carter: No, no, you didn't, sir.
Gen. O'Neill: I didn't?
Dr. Jackson: You didn't find it the least bit odd?
Gen. O'Neill: Actually no. I found it quite relaxing.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: The odds aren't exactly in our favor.
Teal'c: They never are, Daniel Jackson.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gen. O'Neill: Jacob!
Jacob: Jack, we've got a problem. We need to talk.
Gen. O'Neill: Hi! Hello. How are ya? Long time, no see. What's doing? What's up? Hey, buddy!
Jacob: I'm sorry, Jack. It's good to see you again. Congratulations on your promotion.
Gen. O'Neill: Thanks.
Jacob: You deserve it.
Gen. O'Neill: Yes. Well... What's up?
Jacob: The Replicators. They've launched an all out attack on the Goa'uld. If the Goa'uld can't find a way to stop them, the Replicators will easily overrun our galaxy, in a matter of weeks.
Gen. O'Neill: Why didn't you say so?
[Jacob gives O'Neill a look and walks off]
Gen. O'Neill: [after a pause, hurrying after Jacob] I'm sorry. You said we have a problem, not a big galactic emergency.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gen. O'Neill: [holding up a Tok'ra receiver used to track down Goa'uld fleet] You know, we could have used something like this a long time ago.
Jacob: The High Council never thought they could trust you with it.
Gen. O'Neill: What changed their mind?
Jacob: Nothing. They don't know I took it.
Gen. O'Neill: Ah.
Jacob: My relationship with the council is still a little strained.
Gen. O'Neill: It's not going to get any better if you keep stealing stuff.
[Jacob gives O'Neill a look]
Gen. O'Neill: No complaints! I'll take anything I can get: Weapons, receivers, silverware...
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[About Thor]
Gen. O'Neill: Don't be afraid to remind him that we've saved his cute little grey bum several times.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gen. O'Neill: [smugly] My, this is an occasion. You know that bitter taste in your throat? It's kind of wrapped around your uvula? That's what's left of your pride.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Walter: Sir we are reciving a message from Thor. He said he is ready to transport...
[Sam is beamed out]
Jack: You were saying?
Walter: Never mind
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gen. O'Neill: I've got a better idea, instead of helping you, why don't we sit around and watch you get your ass kicked? [grinning] That way you'll be dead, and we'll be glad.
Ba'al: You cannot be serious.
Gen. O'Neill: Yes, I can. I just choose not to, some of the time.
Ba'al: With your insolence you're dooming not just your world but all of humanity.
Gen. O'Neill: I think big.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Harriman and Siler are in the gate room, standing at the bottom of the ramp, on which stands a hologram of an obviously-impatient Ba'al]
Sgt. Harriman: I'm sure he'll be here any second now. [awkward pause] So umm…
Gen. O'Neill: I am so sorry. I was just finishing up a lovely brunch.
Ba'al: Impudence.
Gen. O'Neill: No, tuna.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Gen. O'Neill: Oh, please don't tell me.
Ba'al: Anubis.
Gen. O'Neill: I asked you not to tell me.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[RepliCarter is probing Daniel's mind]
RepliCarter: It would be much easier on both of us if you did not resist.
Dr. Jackson: Why, why, why, why, in the wide world of all things rational and sane, would I help you?
RepliCarter: It would be much easier on both of us if you did not resist.
Dr. Jackson: Why, why, why, why, in the wide world of all things rational and sane, would I help you?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
RepliCarter: Do you really think that I am that different from Samantha Carter?
Dr. Jackson: In that you're a replicator bent on galactic domination at the expense of all living things.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1