Stargate SG-1 Quotes
General Landry: I'm telling you, I'm fine! [to his daughter] Carolyn, can you tell those people I'm fine?
Dr. Lam: You're not fine.
Dr. Lam: You're not fine.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Jolan: How will we know when the device is working?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Well, we'll know when he's no longer able to use his powers.
Haikon: How will we know the Prior is no longer able to use his powers?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Well, someone has just gonna test it and find out.
[The Jaffa look worried]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: No worry, fellas, that someone is me.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Well, we'll know when he's no longer able to use his powers.
Haikon: How will we know the Prior is no longer able to use his powers?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Well, someone has just gonna test it and find out.
[The Jaffa look worried]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: No worry, fellas, that someone is me.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Gerak enters the quarantine room]
Dr. Lam: What's going on?
Teal'c: Gerak has arrived to assist us.
[Gerak pauses]
Teal'c: Why do you hesitate, Gerak?
Gerak: If I help you, I will die. But I will die free!
Dr. Lam: What's going on?
Teal'c: Gerak has arrived to assist us.
[Gerak pauses]
Teal'c: Why do you hesitate, Gerak?
Gerak: If I help you, I will die. But I will die free!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: Okay, say for example we accept the possibility that this is an alternate SG-1 from a… parallel universe. How did they get here?
Lt. Colonel Carter: I got nothing.
[Everyone looks at Carter in surprise]
Lt. Colonel Carter: ...yet.
[Mitchell walks into the room where Alternate Daniel is being held, and hands him a cup of coffee]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Sumatra Mandheling. Two creams, one sugar.
[Alternate Daniel raises his eyebrows]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Lucky guess.
Lt. Colonel Carter: As we discussed the situation, we realized we could pinpoint the source of the phenomenon to a precise window, specifically, the interim journey between the two gates.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Did she just say "we?"
Lt. Colonel Carter: Pardon me?
Dr. Jackson: She said "we." You said "we?"
Lt. Colonel Carter: Ah. Uh, me and...myself, I suppose. The other Samantha Carter.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Right. Finally someone who can keep up with you, huh?
Lt. Colonel Carter: [Happily] Yup.
[Landry walks into a room full of alternate-reality Carters]
General Landry: Carter!
[All the Carters turn around]
General Landry: My Carter.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: You know, I read all the mission reports on the Asgard. They're not what I expected.
Lt. Colonel Carter: What were you expecting?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Well, pants, for one.
Alternate Mitchell: So if this plan goes FUBAR, we're the only ones to go down with the ship?
Dr. Jackson: Well, there's plenty more where we came from, right?
Lt. Colonel Carter: I got nothing.
[Everyone looks at Carter in surprise]
Lt. Colonel Carter: ...yet.
[Mitchell walks into the room where Alternate Daniel is being held, and hands him a cup of coffee]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Sumatra Mandheling. Two creams, one sugar.
[Alternate Daniel raises his eyebrows]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Lucky guess.
Lt. Colonel Carter: As we discussed the situation, we realized we could pinpoint the source of the phenomenon to a precise window, specifically, the interim journey between the two gates.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Did she just say "we?"
Lt. Colonel Carter: Pardon me?
Dr. Jackson: She said "we." You said "we?"
Lt. Colonel Carter: Ah. Uh, me and...myself, I suppose. The other Samantha Carter.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Right. Finally someone who can keep up with you, huh?
Lt. Colonel Carter: [Happily] Yup.
[Landry walks into a room full of alternate-reality Carters]
General Landry: Carter!
[All the Carters turn around]
General Landry: My Carter.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: You know, I read all the mission reports on the Asgard. They're not what I expected.
Lt. Colonel Carter: What were you expecting?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Well, pants, for one.
Alternate Mitchell: So if this plan goes FUBAR, we're the only ones to go down with the ship?
Dr. Jackson: Well, there's plenty more where we came from, right?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Ferguson: My God, you are going to other planets through a freaking wormhole! You have to be a little nuts.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Jared Kane: Do you ever give up?
Dr. Jackson: Not till I'm dead. [Pause] And sometimes not even then.
Dr. Jackson: Not till I'm dead. [Pause] And sometimes not even then.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: I have no intention of taking anyone on. I'm just going to pose as a buyer.
Dr. Jackson: You?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Well, no offense, Jackson, but you do not strike me as the drug dealer type. In fact, you're not even close.
Dr. Jackson: [in disbelief] I think I'm as close as you are!
Lt. Colonel Carter: [to Mitchell] Come on! You're miles away.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Teal'c, which one of us is closer?
Teal'c: I believe the three of you to be equidistant.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [gesturing toward Carter] Oh, please! Mary Poppins is not even in the running.
Lt. Colonel Carter: Hey!
Worrel: Oh its far worse for you, I no longer have any reason to keep you alive.
Dr. Jackson: No, wait! I-I-I can think of a reason.
Lt. Colonel Carter: [after an awkward pause, looks to Jackson] We're more valuable alive.
Dr. Jackson: ah. Yes! We're more valuable alive. Good one.
Lt. Colonel Carter: [silently] Yeah.
Worrel: [sarcastically] So, you were done slaying system lords and decided to move on to more pressing agricultural concerns?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: That's exactly it. Corn patrol.
Walter: How did you plant the beacon on Nerus?
Landry: It was a piece of cake.
[Nerus arrives on Ba'al's mothership]
Nerus: How nice! You came to greet me in person! Oh! Oh! I have this fabulous innovation I want you to... It's—it's called a cupcake. Oh, it's so good—
Ba'al: Why have you returned?
Nerus: My old friend, you wound me deeply.
Ba'al: I'm capable of wounding you much more deeply.
Dr. Jackson: You?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Well, no offense, Jackson, but you do not strike me as the drug dealer type. In fact, you're not even close.
Dr. Jackson: [in disbelief] I think I'm as close as you are!
Lt. Colonel Carter: [to Mitchell] Come on! You're miles away.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Teal'c, which one of us is closer?
Teal'c: I believe the three of you to be equidistant.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: [gesturing toward Carter] Oh, please! Mary Poppins is not even in the running.
Lt. Colonel Carter: Hey!
Worrel: Oh its far worse for you, I no longer have any reason to keep you alive.
Dr. Jackson: No, wait! I-I-I can think of a reason.
Lt. Colonel Carter: [after an awkward pause, looks to Jackson] We're more valuable alive.
Dr. Jackson: ah. Yes! We're more valuable alive. Good one.
Lt. Colonel Carter: [silently] Yeah.
Worrel: [sarcastically] So, you were done slaying system lords and decided to move on to more pressing agricultural concerns?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: That's exactly it. Corn patrol.
Walter: How did you plant the beacon on Nerus?
Landry: It was a piece of cake.
[Nerus arrives on Ba'al's mothership]
Nerus: How nice! You came to greet me in person! Oh! Oh! I have this fabulous innovation I want you to... It's—it's called a cupcake. Oh, it's so good—
Ba'al: Why have you returned?
Nerus: My old friend, you wound me deeply.
Ba'al: I'm capable of wounding you much more deeply.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Ba'al casually has Nerus at gunpoint with a Staff weapon after he inadvertantly uploads a virus onto the ship's computer]
Nerus: But I'm so interesting!
Nerus: But I'm so interesting!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
General Landry: An eventful few days. Debrief in one hour.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: We have got the best jobs in the world, don't we?
Lt. Colonel Carter: I'm gonna hit the shower.
Dr. Jackson: I'm gonna find the doctor.
Teal'c: We are indeed suitably employed.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: We have got the best jobs in the world, don't we?
Lt. Colonel Carter: I'm gonna hit the shower.
Dr. Jackson: I'm gonna find the doctor.
Teal'c: We are indeed suitably employed.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: All right, let's move out. Those ancient ruins aren't going to explore themselves.
Lt. Col Mitchell: Sir, I don't mean to gripe.
General Landry: Permission to gripe granted.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: We're being put on babysitting duty?
General Landry: Don't underestimate the importance of this mission. This is the IOA. These people carry a lot of influence with the Stargate Program. How it's run, how it's funded. You should feel honored! Just, uh, don't keep them up past ten. And remember to read them a bedtime story before tucking them in for the night.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: I'm telling you, today it's escorting foreign delegates on off-world tours, tomorrow it's comic book conventions and supermarket openings.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Hey look, I don't want to argue about this. I'm right, we'll leave it at that.
Dr. Jackson: [sarcastic] Compelling argument. Teal'c, what do you think?
Teal'c: I think I should have remained with the tour.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: When we get back, I'm going to help you find your own place.
Teal'c: That will be unnecessary.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Dude, what are friends for?
Teal'c: For listening when they are told that will be unnecessary.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: You know what? Sit here. You cover our six. But stay alert. You'll hear the bugs coming, but the tree ferrets give no warning.
Lt. Col Mitchell: Sir, I don't mean to gripe.
General Landry: Permission to gripe granted.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: We're being put on babysitting duty?
General Landry: Don't underestimate the importance of this mission. This is the IOA. These people carry a lot of influence with the Stargate Program. How it's run, how it's funded. You should feel honored! Just, uh, don't keep them up past ten. And remember to read them a bedtime story before tucking them in for the night.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: I'm telling you, today it's escorting foreign delegates on off-world tours, tomorrow it's comic book conventions and supermarket openings.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Hey look, I don't want to argue about this. I'm right, we'll leave it at that.
Dr. Jackson: [sarcastic] Compelling argument. Teal'c, what do you think?
Teal'c: I think I should have remained with the tour.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: When we get back, I'm going to help you find your own place.
Teal'c: That will be unnecessary.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Dude, what are friends for?
Teal'c: For listening when they are told that will be unnecessary.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: You know what? Sit here. You cover our six. But stay alert. You'll hear the bugs coming, but the tree ferrets give no warning.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: That was alternate reality. This is alternate dimension. Hell, all I need is a good time-travel adventure, and I've scored the SG-1 trifecta.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Volnek! Where are you, homeboy? Come on out and show me some of those monster moves!
Hadden: We just plant two of them opposite each other, and run a trip wire right through the middle. Then all we gotta do is lure him in.
Reynolds: Piece of cake. While we're at it, maybe we can teach him how to speak Japanese.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Roast beef. The one time I can't eat and they serve roast beef. Do you know how many times I've requested roast beef? This is torture.
Hadden: We just plant two of them opposite each other, and run a trip wire right through the middle. Then all we gotta do is lure him in.
Reynolds: Piece of cake. While we're at it, maybe we can teach him how to speak Japanese.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Roast beef. The one time I can't eat and they serve roast beef. Do you know how many times I've requested roast beef? This is torture.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Vala has taken over Daniel Jackson's body]
Vala: It's funny, isn't it? Daniel always wanted to get in my pants, and now I'm in his.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Oh, that's not funny.
Vala: Hmm?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: He can't defend himself.
Vala: I did my best to blend in. At first according to Tomin and therefore as far as the villagers were concerned I was the woman who fell from the sky which made me feel kind of special. I later learned that they always suspected I’d escaped from another village as a result of some scandal and then I started to feel much more like I’m used to.
Vala: The village was run by this complete bear of a man named Seevis, who was both barkeep and administrator which seemed the oddest contradiction. He claimed to be the most pious man in the village. If anyone strayed from the path of righteousness, it was Seevis who made sure you were severely punished for it. But seems to be a lot more leeway for sin in the religion of Origin than one would presume from all the preaching.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: So it’s just like my grandma used to say. No point going to confession if you ain’t got nothing to confess.
Vala: Exactly.
Teal'c: You stated you had information of great importance.
Vala: I do, I do. And I'm getting there.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: We get the back story. Tomin is a nice guy, Seevis is a butthead. How about you skip ahead a little?
Vala: Okay. Tomin and I got married—
Lt. Colonel Carter: Whoa, married?
Vala: Stay with me. I had no choice. I told you, he was very devout, and there's no way he would have slept with me out of wedlock.
[awkward pause]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Okay, maybe we skipped ahead a little too far.
Vala: It's funny, isn't it? Daniel always wanted to get in my pants, and now I'm in his.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Oh, that's not funny.
Vala: Hmm?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: He can't defend himself.
Vala: I did my best to blend in. At first according to Tomin and therefore as far as the villagers were concerned I was the woman who fell from the sky which made me feel kind of special. I later learned that they always suspected I’d escaped from another village as a result of some scandal and then I started to feel much more like I’m used to.
Vala: The village was run by this complete bear of a man named Seevis, who was both barkeep and administrator which seemed the oddest contradiction. He claimed to be the most pious man in the village. If anyone strayed from the path of righteousness, it was Seevis who made sure you were severely punished for it. But seems to be a lot more leeway for sin in the religion of Origin than one would presume from all the preaching.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: So it’s just like my grandma used to say. No point going to confession if you ain’t got nothing to confess.
Vala: Exactly.
Teal'c: You stated you had information of great importance.
Vala: I do, I do. And I'm getting there.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: We get the back story. Tomin is a nice guy, Seevis is a butthead. How about you skip ahead a little?
Vala: Okay. Tomin and I got married—
Lt. Colonel Carter: Whoa, married?
Vala: Stay with me. I had no choice. I told you, he was very devout, and there's no way he would have slept with me out of wedlock.
[awkward pause]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Okay, maybe we skipped ahead a little too far.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Vala: So, this girl in the bar. Her name was Denya, and we struck up a bit of a friendship. By the looks on your faces, I can see you're not surprised I had more in common with the village harlot than I did with any of the ladies from the local knitting circle.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Don't know what you're talking about.
Vala: At least she was honest.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Don't know what you're talking about.
Vala: At least she was honest.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[regarding the anti-Ori weapon]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Hey, has anyone stopped to figure out how this thing might work? I mean, how do you kill something that's pure energy?
Dr. Jackson: Well, Merlin's research said nothing about killing. A more accurate translation would be "neutralize" or "cancel out".
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Well, that still begs a lot of questions. How do you aim at something you can't see?
Dr. Jackson: Clearly, it can't be a weapon in the conventional sense. See, ascended beings transcend ordinary space time as we know it. This device would have to do the same thing.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: In other words, you have no idea what it might be.
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, pretty much.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Hey, has anyone stopped to figure out how this thing might work? I mean, how do you kill something that's pure energy?
Dr. Jackson: Well, Merlin's research said nothing about killing. A more accurate translation would be "neutralize" or "cancel out".
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Well, that still begs a lot of questions. How do you aim at something you can't see?
Dr. Jackson: Clearly, it can't be a weapon in the conventional sense. See, ascended beings transcend ordinary space time as we know it. This device would have to do the same thing.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: In other words, you have no idea what it might be.
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, pretty much.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[SG-1 is looking around at the village]
Lt. Colonel Carter: This sure looks like the place where Merlin might have lived.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: There could be dozens of villages in the area, just like this one. There is no way to be sure.
Dr. Jackson: Well... there is that... [points to a sword in a stone]
Lt. Colonel Carter: This sure looks like the place where Merlin might have lived.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: There could be dozens of villages in the area, just like this one. There is no way to be sure.
Dr. Jackson: Well... there is that... [points to a sword in a stone]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: This is interesting. It's a reference to Merlin's prophetic abilities. There's a similar myth on Earth. That Merlin could see the future because he actually aged backwards in time. It's not meant to be taken literally, but we have seen a lot of legends and folklore have a strong basis in fact -- Avalon, Atlantis.
Teal'c: The Easter bunny.
Dr. Jackson: I guess there's a few exceptions.
Teal'c: The Easter bunny.
Dr. Jackson: I guess there's a few exceptions.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Daniel drops a book on the floor to wake a snoozing Mitchell]
Dr. Jackson: [sarcastically] Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: No, I wasn't sleeping. Was Kel'no'reem-ing. Teal'c taught me the fundamentals.
Dr. Jackson: Did he mention you should remain conscious in the process?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Yeah, I'm still working on the basics.
Dr. Jackson: [sarcastically] Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: No, I wasn't sleeping. Was Kel'no'reem-ing. Teal'c taught me the fundamentals.
Dr. Jackson: Did he mention you should remain conscious in the process?
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Yeah, I'm still working on the basics.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: Uh oh.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: What's "uh oh"?
Dr. Jackson: Nothing happened.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
[there is a scream off screen]
Jackson & Mitchell: Bad.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: What's "uh oh"?
Dr. Jackson: Nothing happened.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
[there is a scream off screen]
Jackson & Mitchell: Bad.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Merlin: Greetings, friend. I am Merlin. The prize you seek, like the pendulum's swing, marks the passage of all that is before you.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: [holding up a book] Do you recognize this?
Meurik: It is Sangraal.
Dr. Jackson: This is the Sangraal?
Meurik: It is also known as the Blood Stone.
Dr. Jackson: Of course. Sang. Blood. Blood red for the color of the jewel.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. We're talking about the Holy Grail, right? Every movie I've seen, that's a cup.
Meurik: It is Sangraal.
Dr. Jackson: This is the Sangraal?
Meurik: It is also known as the Blood Stone.
Dr. Jackson: Of course. Sang. Blood. Blood red for the color of the jewel.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. We're talking about the Holy Grail, right? Every movie I've seen, that's a cup.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1