Stargate SG-1 Quotes
Grell (Teal'c's counterpart on Wormhole X-Treme): Science fiction is an existential metaphor, that allows us to tell stories about the human condition. Isaac Asimov once said: "Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today — but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all."
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teal'c and Mitchell have just discovered the power source for the Ori battlecruiser:
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Wow.. check this out. I'm no expert, but this looks important.
Teal'c: It appears to be a power generation chamber.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Exactly. Which has me thinking.. might be a good place to drop a little C4.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Wow.. check this out. I'm no expert, but this looks important.
Teal'c: It appears to be a power generation chamber.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Exactly. Which has me thinking.. might be a good place to drop a little C4.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dakara has just been destroyed by Adria, Brata'c wishes he could have done more to keep this from happening
Vala Mal Doran: There's no point in second guessing yourself, so move on, or risk being left behind.
Brata'c: She holds the wisdom of a battle seasoned warrior.
Daniel Jackson: She's a mother, close enough.
Vala Mal Doran: There's no point in second guessing yourself, so move on, or risk being left behind.
Brata'c: She holds the wisdom of a battle seasoned warrior.
Daniel Jackson: She's a mother, close enough.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Weaver: You know what I think the problem is?
Vala: That I can’t strangle you?
[Jackson is interrogating Weaver about Vala's whereabouts, but Weaver is afraid to say anything]
Dr. Jackson: We can protect you.
Weaver: No, you can’t!
Dr. Jackson: Okay. [to Teal’c, as he gets up to leave] He's all yours.
Weaver: [panicked] Where’re you going?
Dr. Jackson: I’ll be out in the hall; just yell loudly if you need me.
Dr. Jackson: But we can protect him.
Lt. Colonel Carter: Yeah, by locking him away for the rest of his life.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: What can ya say? There’s a downside to workin’ for super-villains.
Vala: Saul, what am I doing? Working here, sleeping out the back, watching reruns of The X-Files in my spare time…
[The record for longest-running American sci-fi was previously held by The X-Files, which finished with 202 episodes. With "Memento Mori," Stargate SG-1 equaled that record.]
Vala: [reading a snack cake wrapper] “Disodium guanylate”. That would make a great alien name, don’t you think?
[SG-1 storms a cheap hotel room to find Mitchell lying on the bed, handcuffed to the headboard, watching TV while eating snack cakes, and pantless.]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Um ..this isn't what it looks like
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: What?
Lt. Colonel Carter: Nothin’. I just think it’s funny how you’re always losing your pants.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Y’know, I don't mind gettin’ shot, but I pulled a hammie when I took out that last Trust operative.
Lt. Colonel
Vala: That I can’t strangle you?
[Jackson is interrogating Weaver about Vala's whereabouts, but Weaver is afraid to say anything]
Dr. Jackson: We can protect you.
Weaver: No, you can’t!
Dr. Jackson: Okay. [to Teal’c, as he gets up to leave] He's all yours.
Weaver: [panicked] Where’re you going?
Dr. Jackson: I’ll be out in the hall; just yell loudly if you need me.
Dr. Jackson: But we can protect him.
Lt. Colonel Carter: Yeah, by locking him away for the rest of his life.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: What can ya say? There’s a downside to workin’ for super-villains.
Vala: Saul, what am I doing? Working here, sleeping out the back, watching reruns of The X-Files in my spare time…
[The record for longest-running American sci-fi was previously held by The X-Files, which finished with 202 episodes. With "Memento Mori," Stargate SG-1 equaled that record.]
Vala: [reading a snack cake wrapper] “Disodium guanylate”. That would make a great alien name, don’t you think?
[SG-1 storms a cheap hotel room to find Mitchell lying on the bed, handcuffed to the headboard, watching TV while eating snack cakes, and pantless.]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Um ..this isn't what it looks like
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: What?
Lt. Colonel Carter: Nothin’. I just think it’s funny how you’re always losing your pants.
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Y’know, I don't mind gettin’ shot, but I pulled a hammie when I took out that last Trust operative.
Lt. Colonel
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[an alarm goes off in the shaky cargo ship Vala has secured for SG-1]
Vala: Life Support seems to be failing... can you take this [the helm] for a minute?
[alarm ceases]
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Great, now that you fixed that how ’bout looking at the inertial dampeners?
Vala: I didn’t fix anything, I just disconnected that annoying alarm.
Vala: Our only chance is to take this ship back.
Lt. Col. Carter: Well, I have an idea about that, but it’s pretty risky.
Vala: Well, it’s probably better than our plan.
Lt. Col. Carter: Well, what’s your plan?
Dr. Jackson: We don't have one.
Lt. Col. Carter: Ah.
[In an attempt to save Carter from her captor Anateo, Vala uses the Odyssey's damaged beaming technology]
Dr. Jackson: Uh, where is she?
Vala: Well, I couldn’t be sure, so I just beamed out the only other lifesign in the room instead.
Dr. Jackson: Okay. Where is he?
[Vala looks out the window, where Anateo is drifting in space]
Dr. Jackson: [following Vala’s gaze] Well, Sam did say it was risky.
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, we swept the ship twice. Rounded up fourteen men in total, but not Solek. Vala had to beam him out of the hold where the crew was being held, so we have no way of knowing for sure where he ended up.
Vala: Did you check the sewage reservoir?
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, no lifesigns. Ew.
Dr. Jackson: Uh, you should probably prepare to fire.
Maj. Marks: For the record, I'm always prepared to fire. I just have to press this button here.
Dr. Jackson: Right..I just—I thought that's what you're supposed to say, so...
Vala: Life Support seems to be failing... can you take this [the helm] for a minute?
[alarm ceases]
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Great, now that you fixed that how ’bout looking at the inertial dampeners?
Vala: I didn’t fix anything, I just disconnected that annoying alarm.
Vala: Our only chance is to take this ship back.
Lt. Col. Carter: Well, I have an idea about that, but it’s pretty risky.
Vala: Well, it’s probably better than our plan.
Lt. Col. Carter: Well, what’s your plan?
Dr. Jackson: We don't have one.
Lt. Col. Carter: Ah.
[In an attempt to save Carter from her captor Anateo, Vala uses the Odyssey's damaged beaming technology]
Dr. Jackson: Uh, where is she?
Vala: Well, I couldn’t be sure, so I just beamed out the only other lifesign in the room instead.
Dr. Jackson: Okay. Where is he?
[Vala looks out the window, where Anateo is drifting in space]
Dr. Jackson: [following Vala’s gaze] Well, Sam did say it was risky.
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, we swept the ship twice. Rounded up fourteen men in total, but not Solek. Vala had to beam him out of the hold where the crew was being held, so we have no way of knowing for sure where he ended up.
Vala: Did you check the sewage reservoir?
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, no lifesigns. Ew.
Dr. Jackson: Uh, you should probably prepare to fire.
Maj. Marks: For the record, I'm always prepared to fire. I just have to press this button here.
Dr. Jackson: Right..I just—I thought that's what you're supposed to say, so...
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Netan: You are the biggest fool in two galaxies!
Tenat: But, Netan. (turns around to fellow orannians) I screwed up.
Tenat: But, Netan. (turns around to fellow orannians) I screwed up.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Orannian: Shield failure is imminent.
Tenat: Damn you, Cam Mitchell.
[Tenat's Ha'tak is destroyed]
Tenat: Damn you, Cam Mitchell.
[Tenat's Ha'tak is destroyed]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Look, I know you have no reason to trust us any more than those guys.
Barkeep: I haven't seen you shoot anyone.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: ...That's an excellent point.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: You should come with us.
Barkeep: My place is here. I'll be fine. I'll blame everything on you.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Good plan!
[SG-1 is trying to rescue a little boy trapped behind a portcullis]
Ba’al: He's tiny. Tell him to squeeze through the bars.
Teal’c: Assist us, or I will squeeze you through these bars.
[SG-1, Ba'al, and Adria are blocked by a wall of fire]
Ba'al: Why don't you do something? You're the Orici. You're supposedly possessed of significant powers. So snuff out the flame and get us on our way.
Adria: My abilities don't work that way.
Ba'al: Of course, how does that Earth saying go? "All flash, no photo?"
Lt. Col. Carter: Actually, it's "All flash, no substance."
Ba'al: I prefer my version.
Adria: Would you care for a demonstration?
[Ba'al stares her down]
Adria: [haughtily] Taking your life would be a waste of my time.
Ba'al: Which I suppose would be put to better use complaining.
Lt. Col. Carter: Oh, geez, why don't you two just get a room?
Barkeep: I haven't seen you shoot anyone.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: ...That's an excellent point.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: You should come with us.
Barkeep: My place is here. I'll be fine. I'll blame everything on you.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Good plan!
[SG-1 is trying to rescue a little boy trapped behind a portcullis]
Ba’al: He's tiny. Tell him to squeeze through the bars.
Teal’c: Assist us, or I will squeeze you through these bars.
[SG-1, Ba'al, and Adria are blocked by a wall of fire]
Ba'al: Why don't you do something? You're the Orici. You're supposedly possessed of significant powers. So snuff out the flame and get us on our way.
Adria: My abilities don't work that way.
Ba'al: Of course, how does that Earth saying go? "All flash, no photo?"
Lt. Col. Carter: Actually, it's "All flash, no substance."
Ba'al: I prefer my version.
Adria: Would you care for a demonstration?
[Ba'al stares her down]
Adria: [haughtily] Taking your life would be a waste of my time.
Ba'al: Which I suppose would be put to better use complaining.
Lt. Col. Carter: Oh, geez, why don't you two just get a room?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: I'm sorry, aren't you the one who knows the dragon's secret name? It's time to earn your keep.
Ba'al: Ah, yes. I may have exaggerated about that, slightly. Anyway, you didn't think that just by calling out its name, you'd suddenly be able to control it?
Dr. Jackson: I don't know. Name magic is common in most mythologies. To know something's secret name is to steal its power.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: So what are we supposed to do, start guessing?
Vala: Darrel, the dragon.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: How about Smokey?
Teal'c: Perhaps Puff?
Dr. Jackson: [annoyed]: Will you just give me a minute?
[Merlin revives from stasis]
Merlin: Where am I?
Lt. Col. Carter: Good question.
Merlin: [to Carter] You look familiar. [pauses as he scrutinizes Carter]Guinivere! [hugging Carter] Oh my dear, it's been too long.
Lt. Col. Carter: Uh, good to see you too.
Merlin: [to Mitchell]Percival! [to Jackson] And Galahad! Oh brave knights, fortune indeed does smile upon me to see your faces again.
Ba'al: Looks like Merlin's drawbridge no longer goes all the way across the moat, if you catch my meaning.
Merlin: What's that? Mordred? I might have known it.
Ba'al: We're wasting our time with this old fool! We need to get back to the gate so I can start reprogramming—
Merlin: Be silent!
[Merlin waves his hand, and Ba'al loses the ability to speak]
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Well how do you like that? The old boy still has some old tricks up his sleeve.
Merlin: You have an extraordinary understanding of the ways of ascended beings.
Dr. Jackson: That's because I used to be one.
Merli
Ba'al: Ah, yes. I may have exaggerated about that, slightly. Anyway, you didn't think that just by calling out its name, you'd suddenly be able to control it?
Dr. Jackson: I don't know. Name magic is common in most mythologies. To know something's secret name is to steal its power.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: So what are we supposed to do, start guessing?
Vala: Darrel, the dragon.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: How about Smokey?
Teal'c: Perhaps Puff?
Dr. Jackson: [annoyed]: Will you just give me a minute?
[Merlin revives from stasis]
Merlin: Where am I?
Lt. Col. Carter: Good question.
Merlin: [to Carter] You look familiar. [pauses as he scrutinizes Carter]Guinivere! [hugging Carter] Oh my dear, it's been too long.
Lt. Col. Carter: Uh, good to see you too.
Merlin: [to Mitchell]Percival! [to Jackson] And Galahad! Oh brave knights, fortune indeed does smile upon me to see your faces again.
Ba'al: Looks like Merlin's drawbridge no longer goes all the way across the moat, if you catch my meaning.
Merlin: What's that? Mordred? I might have known it.
Ba'al: We're wasting our time with this old fool! We need to get back to the gate so I can start reprogramming—
Merlin: Be silent!
[Merlin waves his hand, and Ba'al loses the ability to speak]
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Well how do you like that? The old boy still has some old tricks up his sleeve.
Merlin: You have an extraordinary understanding of the ways of ascended beings.
Dr. Jackson: That's because I used to be one.
Merli
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Coffee!
Lt. Col. Carter: Oh, thank you!
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Don't get too excited, they packed us decaf by mistake.
Lt. Col. Carter: D'oh.
[Ori fighters are approaching]
Teal’c[Over radio]: Colonel Mitchell, do you read?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Loud and clear, Teal'c. What's up?
Teal'c: Our time.
Lt. Col. Carter: I spent my entire life dedicated to science. That's the last ten years, trying to convince people they believed in false gods. I don't feel like science is gonna help me. Right now, I'm just hoping somewhere one of those gods...
Lt. Col. Mitchell: My grandma used to say, "God is like a prairie windstorm. If you look too hard, you get dust in your eyes, but there's still plenty of ways to know it's there."
Lt. Col. Carter: Is that what you believe?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Actually, I generally just nodded until she gave me a macaroon.
[Mitchell is shocked while connecting two wires to a control crystal]
Lt. Col. Carter: That's a good sign.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: That's easy for you to say, you with that little flesh wound.
Tomin: I have not begun to question the will of the Ori, but I have begun to question the interpretation of their words. No matter what you say, I will not believe the Book of Origin asks us to massacre innocent people! And I will not stand by while the Holy Doctrine of Good Will and Faith that I have sworn to uphold is twisted into a hammer and used to beat people down!
[Carter is trying some of Mitchell's homemade macaroons]
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Pretty good, huh?
Lt. Col. Carter: Actually, they are pretty good
Lt. Col. Carter: Oh, thank you!
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Don't get too excited, they packed us decaf by mistake.
Lt. Col. Carter: D'oh.
[Ori fighters are approaching]
Teal’c[Over radio]: Colonel Mitchell, do you read?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Loud and clear, Teal'c. What's up?
Teal'c: Our time.
Lt. Col. Carter: I spent my entire life dedicated to science. That's the last ten years, trying to convince people they believed in false gods. I don't feel like science is gonna help me. Right now, I'm just hoping somewhere one of those gods...
Lt. Col. Mitchell: My grandma used to say, "God is like a prairie windstorm. If you look too hard, you get dust in your eyes, but there's still plenty of ways to know it's there."
Lt. Col. Carter: Is that what you believe?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Actually, I generally just nodded until she gave me a macaroon.
[Mitchell is shocked while connecting two wires to a control crystal]
Lt. Col. Carter: That's a good sign.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: That's easy for you to say, you with that little flesh wound.
Tomin: I have not begun to question the will of the Ori, but I have begun to question the interpretation of their words. No matter what you say, I will not believe the Book of Origin asks us to massacre innocent people! And I will not stand by while the Holy Doctrine of Good Will and Faith that I have sworn to uphold is twisted into a hammer and used to beat people down!
[Carter is trying some of Mitchell's homemade macaroons]
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Pretty good, huh?
Lt. Col. Carter: Actually, they are pretty good
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Col. Carter is in an alternate universe.
Lt. Col. Carter: I'm not who you think I am.
Dr. McKay: Oh my god, you're a lesbian, is that what you're trying to tell me?
Lt. Colonel Carter: What? No - McKay!
Lt. Col. Carter: The Rodney McKay I know wouldn’t back down from a challenge. He is one of the most forthright, courageous… and selfless men I have ever met.
Dr. McKay: [preening] Hmm. [realizes] Aw, you’re making that up, aren’t you?
Lt. Col. Carter: Most of it, yeah.
Lt. Col. Carter: The Rodney I know is a master of subtle persuasion.
Dr. McKay: Huh. Oh, you’re lying again, aren’t you?
Vala: Hey, what was I like in that reality?
Lt. Col. Carter: [uncomfortably] You were in jail.
Vala: Not again!
Lt. Col. Carter: I'm not who you think I am.
Dr. McKay: Oh my god, you're a lesbian, is that what you're trying to tell me?
Lt. Colonel Carter: What? No - McKay!
Lt. Col. Carter: The Rodney McKay I know wouldn’t back down from a challenge. He is one of the most forthright, courageous… and selfless men I have ever met.
Dr. McKay: [preening] Hmm. [realizes] Aw, you’re making that up, aren’t you?
Lt. Col. Carter: Most of it, yeah.
Lt. Col. Carter: The Rodney I know is a master of subtle persuasion.
Dr. McKay: Huh. Oh, you’re lying again, aren’t you?
Vala: Hey, what was I like in that reality?
Lt. Col. Carter: [uncomfortably] You were in jail.
Vala: Not again!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Tevaris: Are you saying this Prior’s claims are false?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: We’re saying that book’s got about as much truth in it as The Da Vinci Code.
Vala: [conspiratorially] Hey, that’s what they want you to think.
[Prior-Daniel is beamed aboard the Odyssey]
Prior-Daniel: Hey! What took you guys so long?!
[O'Neill takes a moment to look over Prior-Daniel]
Gen. O'Neill: [brightly] This is new.
Prior-Daniel: [casual] Yeah, it's always something, isn't it?
Gen. O'Neill: I gotta tell you though, not your look.
Prior-Daniel: Jack, you have to believe me.
Gen. O'Neill: Why?
Prior-Daniel: "Why." Well because, oh I don't know, the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance?
Gen. O'Neill: You know, that old chestnut is getting a little... old.
Prior-Daniel: No, no, that part never gets old. Now, you have to shut down that Supergate, and you have to let me go!
Gen. O'Neill: [jokingly] You know I hate being told what to do.
Prior-Daniel: Jack, it's me!
Gen. O'Neill: [shouting] What, that's supposed to convince me?! Look at you!
Prior-Daniel: Have I ever let you down? No, don't answer that, have I ever let you down when it really mattered?
Gen. O'Neill: You know, there's a bottom line here: Carter doesn't think it can be done.
Prior-Daniel: Yes, it can. A Mk-9 beamed directly behind the gate in the Pegasus galaxy will destroy that gate, the wormhole connection will be broken.
Gen. O'Neill: How do you know that?
Prior-Daniel: Hello!? Merlin!
Gen. O'Neill: [mockingly] Oh yes.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: We’re saying that book’s got about as much truth in it as The Da Vinci Code.
Vala: [conspiratorially] Hey, that’s what they want you to think.
[Prior-Daniel is beamed aboard the Odyssey]
Prior-Daniel: Hey! What took you guys so long?!
[O'Neill takes a moment to look over Prior-Daniel]
Gen. O'Neill: [brightly] This is new.
Prior-Daniel: [casual] Yeah, it's always something, isn't it?
Gen. O'Neill: I gotta tell you though, not your look.
Prior-Daniel: Jack, you have to believe me.
Gen. O'Neill: Why?
Prior-Daniel: "Why." Well because, oh I don't know, the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance?
Gen. O'Neill: You know, that old chestnut is getting a little... old.
Prior-Daniel: No, no, that part never gets old. Now, you have to shut down that Supergate, and you have to let me go!
Gen. O'Neill: [jokingly] You know I hate being told what to do.
Prior-Daniel: Jack, it's me!
Gen. O'Neill: [shouting] What, that's supposed to convince me?! Look at you!
Prior-Daniel: Have I ever let you down? No, don't answer that, have I ever let you down when it really mattered?
Gen. O'Neill: You know, there's a bottom line here: Carter doesn't think it can be done.
Prior-Daniel: Yes, it can. A Mk-9 beamed directly behind the gate in the Pegasus galaxy will destroy that gate, the wormhole connection will be broken.
Gen. O'Neill: How do you know that?
Prior-Daniel: Hello!? Merlin!
Gen. O'Neill: [mockingly] Oh yes.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Mitchell: Intel looks good, we've got ourselves a space train full of evil Orville Reddenbacher.
[Vala is explaining her "relationship" with Mitchell to Mitchell's parents]
Vala: Well, I mean at first it was just sex, sex, sex, in all rooms of the house at all times of the day! But uh, well, once we got a chance to get to know each other, we formed a deeper connection. A spiritual bond, you might say.
Jackie: Now, I can’t remember, did you go to GW?
Vala: Oh, I didn’t attend school. As much as I was sold as a domestic servant to a weapons smuggler named Firenze. After I killed him and won my freedom, I considered my education more or less complete.
Dr. Jackson: And you might have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for us meddling kids.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: How many times have you been married, anyway?
Vala: Legally? Hmmm, well, it’s hard to keep track. Let’s see. The first one was a part of a band of traveling entertainers. He was a good cook, too. Couldn’t make pie though.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: You know, forget it. Forget I asked.
[Vala is explaining her "relationship" with Mitchell to Mitchell's parents]
Vala: Well, I mean at first it was just sex, sex, sex, in all rooms of the house at all times of the day! But uh, well, once we got a chance to get to know each other, we formed a deeper connection. A spiritual bond, you might say.
Jackie: Now, I can’t remember, did you go to GW?
Vala: Oh, I didn’t attend school. As much as I was sold as a domestic servant to a weapons smuggler named Firenze. After I killed him and won my freedom, I considered my education more or less complete.
Dr. Jackson: And you might have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for us meddling kids.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: How many times have you been married, anyway?
Vala: Legally? Hmmm, well, it’s hard to keep track. Let’s see. The first one was a part of a band of traveling entertainers. He was a good cook, too. Couldn’t make pie though.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: You know, forget it. Forget I asked.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Dr. Jackson: We're stuck.
Vala: No we're not!
[Everyone looks at Vala]
Vala: Well, when we fail to make the scheduled check-in, General Landry will dial in, at which point we'll ask him to send a naquadah generator and a laptop with a dialing program and that's that!
Dr. Jackson: We knew that! I-I-I thought that when I said that we're stuck, that you would know that I meant "until then."
Vala: Well, then you should say what you mean.
Dr. Jackson: I don't think you want me to start doing that.
Vala: I don't think you want to start thinking what I think.
Dr. Jackson: [checking his watch] So, therefore, next check-in is in just under six hours.
Vala: Good. Muscles, that means that we have time to go to the party.
[She starts to walk away until Mitchell's voice stops her.]
Lt. Col. Mitchell: No, it does not! It means we stay here out of sight and remain as inconspicuous as possible. With a bit of luck, the people on this planet will never even know we were here.
[The couple who had left the party before arrive in the gate room and are now just a few feet away from the team. They begin kissing intensely.]
Sylvana: [pushing him away for a moment] Don't. tell Hesellven, she is like a sister to me.
Heron: Never.
[They resume kissing. They stop and begin to walk toward the gate, where they finally see the team. Mitchell waves casually.]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Hi. There's nothing to be alarmed about. We um—
[The woman begins screaming then turns and runs out of the room, the man following her. She is still screaming. Teal'c and Mitchell head out after them, and Vala tries to follow, but Daniel holds her back.]
Vala: How come they get to go?
Vala: No we're not!
[Everyone looks at Vala]
Vala: Well, when we fail to make the scheduled check-in, General Landry will dial in, at which point we'll ask him to send a naquadah generator and a laptop with a dialing program and that's that!
Dr. Jackson: We knew that! I-I-I thought that when I said that we're stuck, that you would know that I meant "until then."
Vala: Well, then you should say what you mean.
Dr. Jackson: I don't think you want me to start doing that.
Vala: I don't think you want to start thinking what I think.
Dr. Jackson: [checking his watch] So, therefore, next check-in is in just under six hours.
Vala: Good. Muscles, that means that we have time to go to the party.
[She starts to walk away until Mitchell's voice stops her.]
Lt. Col. Mitchell: No, it does not! It means we stay here out of sight and remain as inconspicuous as possible. With a bit of luck, the people on this planet will never even know we were here.
[The couple who had left the party before arrive in the gate room and are now just a few feet away from the team. They begin kissing intensely.]
Sylvana: [pushing him away for a moment] Don't. tell Hesellven, she is like a sister to me.
Heron: Never.
[They resume kissing. They stop and begin to walk toward the gate, where they finally see the team. Mitchell waves casually.]
Lt. Colonel Mitchell: Hi. There's nothing to be alarmed about. We um—
[The woman begins screaming then turns and runs out of the room, the man following her. She is still screaming. Teal'c and Mitchell head out after them, and Vala tries to follow, but Daniel holds her back.]
Vala: How come they get to go?
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Hesellven and Sylvana are catfighting]
Dr. Jackson: What the hell are you doing? Stop it!!
Sylvana: She started it!
Hesellven: Hah! I think you started it when you kissed Heron.
Dr. Jackson: [exasperated] Shut up! Shut up! You’re hostages! This is like a life and death situation here! Start acting like it.
Sylvana: Oh, please! You’re not rebels! We’re not deaf, you know. Everyone in this room knows it.
Dr. Jackson: That doesn’t matter! You’re hostages! We’re your…we’re your captors! We’re heavily armed! There’s rules! There’s a whole school of etiquette to this!
[Sylvana stares at Dr. Jackson]
Dr. Jackson: [sternly] Don't eyeball me.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Cicero: Excuse me. Did you really come through the Ring?
Dr. Jackson: Yes, we did.
Cicero: It's a portal, isn't it, to other worlds?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Yeah, I'd be happy to show you how it works, once we get it up up and running.
Cicero: You want them to free your friends.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: I'm sorry. What?
Cicero: Your demands. If you want to pose as the rebels, the first thing they usually do in situations like this is ask for the freeing of their imprisoned compatriots.
Sylvana: Don't talk to them.
Cicero: No, it's okay.
Dr. Jackson: [Walks toward Cicero] What's your name?
Cicero: Cicero. I'm a researcher here at the museum, and I believe you.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: You want to get on the radio and explain that to the folks outside?
Cicero: Oh, I've tried. I've suspected as much for years, I've published dozens of papers, written a book. No one listens. My colleagues think I'm a bit of a joke.
Vala: Oh, Daniel, you've found a kindred spirit.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Is that what I think it is?
Vala: No, it's a Goa'uld naquadah bomb.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: For the record, that's what I thought it was.
Vala: Yes, I'm sure you did. Well, it seems in pretty good shape. If it's real, and if the naquadah core is intact. I assume these cases are connected to the security system?
Cicero: Yes.
Vala: So, you can't get into the case.
Cicero: You won't be able to access it without a security-card.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: And you have one of those, no?
Cicero: Not for these exhibits, no.
Vala: Well, not to worry. You happen to be standing next to one of the best thieves in two galaxies.
Cicero: [Turns to Mitchell] Ah!
Vala: No, not him.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[Jayem, a night guard of the museum, points a gun at Mitchell and Vala, and demands the freeing of the hostages]
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Jackson.
Dr. Jackson: Mitchell, what's going on?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Well, we've got ourselves a bit of a John McClane here.
Dr. Jackson: Wha-what are you talking about?
Teal’c: [walking past Daniel]Die Hard.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Jackson.
Dr. Jackson: Mitchell, what's going on?
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Well, we've got ourselves a bit of a John McClane here.
Dr. Jackson: Wha-what are you talking about?
Teal’c: [walking past Daniel]Die Hard.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
(Vala is attempting to power the stargate with a Goa'uld bomb.)
Vala: There's a 70% chance that if we dial manually we'll be able to establish a connection, and a 50% chance the bomb will just go off.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: That a 120%.
Vala: Well there's some crossover where we establish a wormhole and it blows up.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: [on the radio] Jackson, did you catch any of that?
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, 100% chance we should have brought someone who knows what they're doing.
Vala: There's a 70% chance that if we dial manually we'll be able to establish a connection, and a 50% chance the bomb will just go off.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: That a 120%.
Vala: Well there's some crossover where we establish a wormhole and it blows up.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: [on the radio] Jackson, did you catch any of that?
Dr. Jackson: Yeah, 100% chance we should have brought someone who knows what they're doing.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Teal'c: In that case, there are some things you should know. The Ori do not ascend their followers. Arkad is a coward who will die by my hand. Also, I have planted an explosive device in your symbiote pouch. It is set to go off within a matter of moments. It is the same type that you used to kill twelve warriors, eighteen innocent bystanders, and two children who had gathered for a peaceful summit.
Ba'kad: They were sinners all, who chose the path of evil.
Teal'c: [walking away] Ten seconds.
Ba'kad: Where are you going?
Teal'c: I am leaving. You are about to explode.
Vala: Well, what would be the harm in us just…whoops! failing to stop Teal'c from killing Arkad? It wouldn't be entirely on purpose and not out of…accidental incompetence either, if you catch my drift.
Dr. Jackson: Yes, nudge nudge, wink wink.
Vala: How do we get Arkad to tell us all the pieces of the puzzle?
Dr. Jackson: Oh, that's the easy part. See, we capture him, lock him in a room, and threaten to let Teal'c kill him.
Ba'kad: They were sinners all, who chose the path of evil.
Teal'c: [walking away] Ten seconds.
Ba'kad: Where are you going?
Teal'c: I am leaving. You are about to explode.
Vala: Well, what would be the harm in us just…whoops! failing to stop Teal'c from killing Arkad? It wouldn't be entirely on purpose and not out of…accidental incompetence either, if you catch my drift.
Dr. Jackson: Yes, nudge nudge, wink wink.
Vala: How do we get Arkad to tell us all the pieces of the puzzle?
Dr. Jackson: Oh, that's the easy part. See, we capture him, lock him in a room, and threaten to let Teal'c kill him.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
[SG-1 has set a trap for Teal'c]
Lt. Col. Mitchell: Hey Teal'c? I know you're out there. I don't know what you're thinking, but we're here to help. [Mitchell barely dodges two zat blasts] Okay, that was a lie! And, uh, I hate myself, I feel terrible about that.
Bra'tac: You are the son I never had, I could not be more proud.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Col. Mitchell: They cancelled it? Really? I didn't even know the new season had started.
[This episode was shot after Stargate SG-1s cancellation was announced]
[This episode was shot after Stargate SG-1s cancellation was announced]
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Jacek: I suppose for the benefit of your friends there, you're gonna want to list all the reasons why I was such a bad father.
Vala: Oh, I wish I could, but a wormhole can only be maintained for thirty-eight minutes.
Jacek: Oh, you got your father's wit!
Vala: Certainly not enough time to list your inequalities as both a father and a human being.
Jacek: And your mother's uncanny ability to hold a grudge.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: You said you had some intel?
Jacek: Yes, and I'm prepared to tell you everything once you allow me through your gate.
Gen. Landry: As soon as Vala vouches for you.
Vala: I most certainly will not!
Vala: Oh, I wish I could, but a wormhole can only be maintained for thirty-eight minutes.
Jacek: Oh, you got your father's wit!
Vala: Certainly not enough time to list your inequalities as both a father and a human being.
Jacek: And your mother's uncanny ability to hold a grudge.
Lt. Col. Mitchell: You said you had some intel?
Jacek: Yes, and I'm prepared to tell you everything once you allow me through your gate.
Gen. Landry: As soon as Vala vouches for you.
Vala: I most certainly will not!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Lt. Col. Mitchell: So, what's the deal with the accent, or in your father's case, the lack thereof?
Vala: Well, the accent, like most of my other good qualities, I got from my mother. My charm, my wit, my good looks…
Dr. Jackson: What'd you get from your dad?
Vala: Some minor food allergies.
Vala: Well, the accent, like most of my other good qualities, I got from my mother. My charm, my wit, my good looks…
Dr. Jackson: What'd you get from your dad?
Vala: Some minor food allergies.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Vala: I have a bad feeling about this.
Jacek: [stepping out from behind a tree] That's because I raised you to be cautious.
Vala: Mother raised me.
Jacek: Which one?
Vala: My mother!
Jacek: [stepping out from behind a tree] That's because I raised you to be cautious.
Vala: Mother raised me.
Jacek: Which one?
Vala: My mother!
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Vala: You didn't trust him, but you talked me into coming here anyway?
Dr. Jackson: Eh. He’s not my father.
Dr. Jackson: Eh. He’s not my father.
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
Jacek: Say, how'd you like to go out to dinner with me once this is all is over?
Lt. Col. Carter: Oh, I don't think so.
Jacek: Why not?
Lt. Col. Carter: Well, I'm an incredibly busy person with very little free time…Oh! And you're a jerk.
Jacek: oh well there is that
Lt. Col. Carter: Oh, I don't think so.
Jacek: Why not?
Lt. Col. Carter: Well, I'm an incredibly busy person with very little free time…Oh! And you're a jerk.
Jacek: oh well there is that
TV Show: Stargate SG-1
(Teal'c has taken one of Jacek's tickets to the "Virginia Dialogues". He sits down between two women as the play begins)
Actress: My girlfriends and I talk about a lot of things. There's just one topic we rarely discuss. Vaginas. And I asked myself, why is that? Why don't we talk about vaginas? Why are work and kids and holiday plans more acceptable topics of conversation than our own vaginas? And I didn't have an answer. So, I took it upon myself to find out. I started to talk about vaginas at work, at home, sometimes even in fancy restaurants! Soon my friends started to talk about vaginas as well. And it was only a matter of time before it became a hot conversation topic. No matter where I went, it was "vagina this", "vagina that," "vagina, vagina, vagina…"
(He looks to the two women in turn, then sinks uncomfortably into his seat...)
Actress: My girlfriends and I talk about a lot of things. There's just one topic we rarely discuss. Vaginas. And I asked myself, why is that? Why don't we talk about vaginas? Why are work and kids and holiday plans more acceptable topics of conversation than our own vaginas? And I didn't have an answer. So, I took it upon myself to find out. I started to talk about vaginas at work, at home, sometimes even in fancy restaurants! Soon my friends started to talk about vaginas as well. And it was only a matter of time before it became a hot conversation topic. No matter where I went, it was "vagina this", "vagina that," "vagina, vagina, vagina…"
(He looks to the two women in turn, then sinks uncomfortably into his seat...)
TV Show: Stargate SG-1