Taxi Quotes
Washburn's Mom: Andy is not a really a strong driver. See, he had a really bad experience when he had his first driving lesson. So...
Washburn: Driving lesson? You call that a driving lesson?
Washburn's Mom: Yes!
Washburn: Dad let go of the wheel and said You better steer or you're gonna kill the whole family.
Washburn's Mom: Yeah! It's good for you.
Washburn: We where going 90, I was six!
Washburn's Mom: That's right! And that's the way he taught you to swim!
Washburn: I can't swim either!
Washburn: Driving lesson? You call that a driving lesson?
Washburn's Mom: Yes!
Washburn: Dad let go of the wheel and said You better steer or you're gonna kill the whole family.
Washburn's Mom: Yeah! It's good for you.
Washburn: We where going 90, I was six!
Washburn's Mom: That's right! And that's the way he taught you to swim!
Washburn: I can't swim either!
TV Show: Taxi
[about Woodstock]
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I wore flowers in my hair and meditated for hours on end. I was finding God all over the place... He kept ditching me.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I wore flowers in my hair and meditated for hours on end. I was finding God all over the place... He kept ditching me.
TV Show: Taxi
[during a written driving test]
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Pssssttt... what does the yellow light mean?
Bobby Wheeler: "Slow down."
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: What... does... the... yellow... light... mean?
Bobby Wheeler: "Slow down"!
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Whaaaat... dooooeeees... theeeee... yeeeel-looowwww... liiiiight... meeeeaaan?
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Pssssttt... what does the yellow light mean?
Bobby Wheeler: "Slow down."
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: What... does... the... yellow... light... mean?
Bobby Wheeler: "Slow down"!
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Whaaaat... dooooeeees... theeeee... yeeeel-looowwww... liiiiight... meeeeaaan?
TV Show: Taxi
[explaining to his mother in a flashback scene why he wants to move to America]
Latka Gravas: In America, a man can become another O.J. Simpson!
Latka's Mother: Who is O.J.Simpson?
Latka Gravas: The JUICE!
Latka Gravas: In America, a man can become another O.J. Simpson!
Latka's Mother: Who is O.J.Simpson?
Latka Gravas: The JUICE!
TV Show: Taxi
[filling out a form]
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Eyes...
Elaine Nardo: No, don't put two.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Oh, they mean color, don't they?
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Eyes...
Elaine Nardo: No, don't put two.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Oh, they mean color, don't they?
TV Show: Taxi
[in the mountains, Jim hits his head]
Alex Rieger: Jim, are you alright?
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Yeah... who are you?
Alex Rieger: I'm Alex. We're friends, we work together.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: What are we, lumberjacks?
Alex Rieger: No, we're cabdrivers.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I bet we don't do much business up here!
Alex Rieger: Jim, are you alright?
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Yeah... who are you?
Alex Rieger: I'm Alex. We're friends, we work together.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: What are we, lumberjacks?
Alex Rieger: No, we're cabdrivers.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I bet we don't do much business up here!
TV Show: Taxi
[Latka pays Louie a coin]
Louie De Palma: What's this?
Latka Gravas: It's a kebble.
Louie De Palma: What's a kebble?
Latka Gravas: 110 kebble make a lithnitch.
Louie De Palma: What's a lithnich?
Latka Gravas: 270 lithnich make a matta.
Louie De Palma: What's a matta?
Latka Gravas: I don't know, what's the matter with you?
Louie De Palma: What's this?
Latka Gravas: It's a kebble.
Louie De Palma: What's a kebble?
Latka Gravas: 110 kebble make a lithnitch.
Louie De Palma: What's a lithnich?
Latka Gravas: 270 lithnich make a matta.
Louie De Palma: What's a matta?
Latka Gravas: I don't know, what's the matter with you?
TV Show: Taxi
[On boxing]
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: The ability to witness two men stand toe to toe in the spirit of sportsmanship and pummel each other into insensibility is what separates us from the animals.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: The ability to witness two men stand toe to toe in the spirit of sportsmanship and pummel each other into insensibility is what separates us from the animals.
TV Show: Taxi
[while filling out an application]
Bobby Wheeler: Mental illness or narcotic addiction?
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Now that's a tough choice...
Bobby Wheeler: Mental illness or narcotic addiction?
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Now that's a tough choice...
TV Show: Taxi
Louie De Palma: Do you know what the difference is between people like you and people like me, Nardo?
Alex Rieger: Yeah, two million years of evolution.
TV Show: Taxi
Louie De Palma: Get that ugly, flea-ridden, stinking animal out of my garage, and tell him to take his horse with him!
TV Show: Taxi
Louie De Palma: He'll be back... they all come back... the only one who never came back was James Caan... and I'm still waitin'!
TV Show: Taxi
Louie De Palma: Hey, Bobby, I hope someone slams a door on your face, you sneeze, and your head explodes.
TV Show: Taxi
Louie De Palma: I know what love is cuz I watch talk shows. Love is the end of happiness!
TV Show: Taxi
Louie De Palma: Ignatowski! Where have you been all week?
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: I don't work weekends.
Louie De Palma: You been gone nine days!
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Yeah...
Tony Banta: Jim, weekends are only two days.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: Oh, I thought we'd switched to the metric system.
TV Show: Taxi
Louie De Palma: Jim, your father is no longer with us.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: He never was. He lives in Boston.
Louie De Palma: No, I mean, he's gone on to his final resting place.
"Reverend" Jim Ignatowski: A condo in Palm Beach?
TV Show: Taxi
Louie De Palma: Mr. Rieger isn't here right now. Would you like to wait in my office?
Charlotte Reiger: I'd rather be the only woman on a Greek freighter!
TV Show: Taxi
Louie De Palma: What're you listening to, Banta?
Tony Banta: I can be here if I want to.
Louie De Palma: No, you can't.
Tony Banta: This is America, Louie.
Louie De Palma: No, it isn't.
Tony Banta: It isn't?
Louie De Palma: No! This is Louieland. You want America, go outside!
TV Show: Taxi
Elaine Nardo: [Louie has just admitted his mother needs an operation] What's wrong with her?
Louie De Palma: Female problems, she's starting not to look like one.
TV Show: Taxi
Elaine Nardo: Dress is optional... He means how we dress, not if we dress, right?
Alex Rieger: No, I don't think so.
Elaine Nardo: Why?
Alex Rieger: [showing Elaine his invitation] Yours is the only one that says that.
TV Show: Taxi
Elaine Nardo: Jim, what are you doing here? Where did this model castle come from?
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: It's yours, I made it for you. See Elaine, your fairy tale can come true. Look here's your Castle, and your Prince awaits. Elaine, I know I'm not the most glamorous guy in the world but...
Elaine Nardo: You are truly a sweet decent man.
"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Once there was a time when that was enough.
TV Show: Taxi
Elaine Nardo: Poor Emily. It's so sad that she mixed drugs and alcohol and spent the night with you... when most people only die.
TV Show: Taxi