Teachers Pet Quotes

Dr. Hugo Pine: I can drink any amount of alcohol I like and it doesn't bother me a bit.

James Gannon: Well it doesn't bither me a bot either!

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Dr. Hugo Pine: To me, journalism is, ah, like a hangover. You can read about it for years, but until you've actually experienced it, you have no conception of what it's really like.

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Ivan Krank: It's alive. IT'S ALIVE. That's a good start.

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Ivan Krank: Oh, haven't you heard, my good man? Nature is dead! Science is king!

Mr. Jolly: Oh, that is just wrong on so many levels.

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James Gannon: How could you give up a real newspaper job for teaching?

Erica Stone: Well, that's a very good question, Mr. Gallagher. Maybe for the same reason that occasionally a musician wants to be a conductor, he wants to hear a hundred people play music the way he hears it.

Movie: Teachers Pet
James Gannon: How could you give up a real newspaper job for teaching?

Erica Stone: Well, that's a very good question, Mr. Gallagher. Maybe for the same reason that occasionally a musician wants to be a conductor, he wants to hear a hundred people play music the way he hears it.

Movie: Teachers Pet
James Gannon: Morning. Hangover?

Dr. Hugo Pine: Calling what I have a 'hangover' is like referring to the Johnstown flood as a slight drizzle.

Movie: Teachers Pet
James Gannon: Morning. Hangover?

Dr. Hugo Pine: Calling what I have a 'hangover' is like referring to the Johnstown flood as a slight drizzle.

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Miss June Crabtree: I hope the children like me.

Old man: Oh, they'll like you alright. We'll have the cake and ice cream down to the school right on time.
[Miss Crabtree drives away]

Old man: Ummm... Wow! I wouldn't mind going back to school myself!

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Mr. Jolly: Outside? But I'm an indoor cat. I'm afraid of the outside. (whimpers)

Movie: Teachers Pet
Mr. Jolly: Outside? But I'm an indoor cat. I'm afraid of the outside.
[whimpers]

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Peggy DeFore: Jimsy, what's a psychologist?

James Gannon: A guy who gives all kinds of advice about things he knows nothing about.

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Pretty Boy: Florida, Schmorida! It's just Jersey with palm trees!

Mr. Jolly: Well, I suppose most people don't arrive by garbage truck.

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Spot/Scott: Hey I'll do the clichéd Irish dialogue around here.

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Spot/Scott: What is it with this family and singing? I'm starting to feel a little VonTrapped.

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TV Actress: John.

TV Actor: Marsha.

TV Actress: John.

TV Actor: Marsha.

Spot/Scott: Yawn. Mush-a.

Movie: Teachers Pet
TV Actress: John.

TV Actor: Marsha.

TV Actress: John.

TV Actor: Marsha.
Spot/Scott: Yawn. Mush-a.

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[Upon receiving an attendance medal]

Spot/Scott: Thank you, Mrs. Helperman. This is just the thing to go with my Science medal, my Math medal, and my Sports medal. Not to mention my medal for self-esteem.

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[Upon receiving an attendance medal]
Spot/Scott: Thank you, Mrs. Helperman. This is just the thing to go with my Science medal, my Math medal, and my Sports medal. Not to mention my medal for self-esteem.

Movie: Teachers Pet
Dr. Hugo Pine: To me, journalism is, ah, like a hangover. You can read about it for years, but until you've actually experienced it, you have no conception of what it's really like.

Movie: Teachers Pet
Erica Stone: Newspapers can't compete in reporting what happened any more, but they can and should tell the public why it happened.

Movie: Teachers Pet
Erica Stone: Newspapers can't compete in reporting what happened any more, but they can and should tell the public why it happened.

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Ivan Krank: It's alive. IT'S ALIVE. That's a good start.

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James Gannon: [providing an impromptu lesson to Barney] By the way, you heard about it, didn't you?

Barney Kovac: What?

James Gannon: Found him dead.

Barney Kovac: Who?

James Gannon: Boss.

Barney Kovac: No kidding. When?

James Gannon: Two minutes ago.

Barney Kovac: Where did they find him?

James Gannon: In his office.

Barney Kovac: What did happen?

James Gannon: Some dame shot him.

James Gannon: Some dame sho... Why?

James Gannon: Barney, you have just asked me six very important questions: who, what, where, when, how, and why. That's what every news story should answer.

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Mr. Jolly: AAAAAIE. It's a monster. It's hideous.

Pretty Boy: It's just your reflection.

Mr. Jolly: Oh... AAAAAIE.

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Pretty Boy: Florida, Schmorida! It's just Jersey with palm trees!

Mr. Jolly: Well, I suppose most people don't arrive by garbage truck.

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Pretty Boy: I ain't no fairy.

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Pretty Boy: Well, I wanna be a rooster in a hen house, but I just don't see it happening. Isn't that right, Mr. Jolly?

Mr. Jolly: It's too early in the morning for hypothetical discussion, but since you brought it up... you? A rooster?

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Pretty Boy: Well, I wanna be a rooster in a hen house, but I just don't see it happening. Isn't that right, Mr. Jolly?

Mr. Jolly: It's too early in the morning for hypothetical discussion, but since you brought it up... you? A rooster?

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Spot/Scott: I wanna be a boy.

Movie: Teachers Pet