The Brady Bunch Quotes
Eddie: Get out! This is a car jack!
Greg Brady: [rolls down the window] Well, of course this is a car. But my name's not Jack. It's Greg.
Greg Brady: [rolls down the window] Well, of course this is a car. But my name's not Jack. It's Greg.
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
Greg Brady: [trying to think of something that'll scare Alice] What about vampires?
Alice Nelson: Oh vampires are a pain in the neck. [laughs]
Alice Nelson: That's pretty good.
Marcia Brady: What about werewolves?
Alice Nelson: All bark and no bite. [laughs again]
Alice Nelson: Oh vampires are a pain in the neck. [laughs]
Alice Nelson: That's pretty good.
Marcia Brady: What about werewolves?
Alice Nelson: All bark and no bite. [laughs again]
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
Jan Brady: I'd like to buy a wig please.
Saleswoman: Not for yourself. Why would you want to cover such beautiful blonde hair?
Jan Brady: You'd understand if you had two blonde sisters at home.
Saleswoman: Oh, so we want a complete change do we?
Jan Brady: Yes ma'me.
Saleswoman: Ok. What kind of style are you looking for?
Jan Brady: I don't know. Something wild. Cookey. Kinda like something you're wearing.
Saleswoman: This is my own hair.
Jan Brady: Oh! I'm so sorry!
Saleswoman: Not half as sorry as I am.
Saleswoman: Not for yourself. Why would you want to cover such beautiful blonde hair?
Jan Brady: You'd understand if you had two blonde sisters at home.
Saleswoman: Oh, so we want a complete change do we?
Jan Brady: Yes ma'me.
Saleswoman: Ok. What kind of style are you looking for?
Jan Brady: I don't know. Something wild. Cookey. Kinda like something you're wearing.
Saleswoman: This is my own hair.
Jan Brady: Oh! I'm so sorry!
Saleswoman: Not half as sorry as I am.
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
Marcia Brady: Oh those are pretty pictures, what have you modeled for?
Model: Guess.
Marcia Brady: Are you a Breck girl?
Model: No, Guess Jeans.
Marcia Brady: Levi's? Wrangler? Osh Kosh B'Gosh?
Model: Guess.
Marcia Brady: Are you a Breck girl?
Model: No, Guess Jeans.
Marcia Brady: Levi's? Wrangler? Osh Kosh B'Gosh?
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
Mike Brady: Welcome back to another Brady Bunch Hour!
Carol Brady: Yeah, the show that asks the musical question: Can eight average people make it in the big time?
Carol Brady: Yeah, the show that asks the musical question: Can eight average people make it in the big time?
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
[Doug kisses Marcia]
Marcia Brady: Doug! I think I just felt your tongue in my mouth.
Doug: It's called a french kiss.
Marcia Brady: But I thought you were from Nebraska!
Marcia Brady: Doug! I think I just felt your tongue in my mouth.
Doug: It's called a french kiss.
Marcia Brady: But I thought you were from Nebraska!
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
[Carol walks into Mike's den to show off her new ensemble for their weekend vacation at a dude ranch]
Carol Ann Brady: What are you going to wear, Mike?
Michael 'Mike' Brady: Oh I don't know... my cowboy boots...
Carol Ann Brady: [in her best John Wayne impression] Well ya better wear somethin' else, or you're gonna get arrested!
Michael 'Mike' Brady: Not to mention sunburn!
Carol Ann Brady: What are you going to wear, Mike?
Michael 'Mike' Brady: Oh I don't know... my cowboy boots...
Carol Ann Brady: [in her best John Wayne impression] Well ya better wear somethin' else, or you're gonna get arrested!
Michael 'Mike' Brady: Not to mention sunburn!
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
Jan Brady: I'd like to buy a wig please.
Saleswoman: Not for yourself. Why would you want to cover such beautiful blonde hair?
Jan Brady: You'd understand if you had two blonde sisters at home.
Saleswoman: Oh, so we want a complete change do we?
Jan Brady: Yes ma'me.
Saleswoman: Ok. What kind of style are you looking for?
Jan Brady: I don't know. Something wild. Cookey. Kinda like something you're wearing.
Saleswoman: This is my own hair.
Jan Brady: Oh! I'm so sorry!
Saleswoman: Not half as sorry as I am.
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
Jan Brady: Well, all day long at school I hear how great Marcia is at this or how wonderful Marcia did that! Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
Carol Ann Brady: Jan, I think you may need glasses.
Jan Brady: Glasses! Oh, no, mom! Not glasses! They'll make me look absolutely positively goofy!
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
Alice Nelson: If there's anything I can't stand, it's a perfect kid. And SIX of 'em, yecch!
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
Marcia Brady: [Marcia lost her Diary and is accusing one of the boys of taking it] Okay, if you hand it right over, I won't press charges
Greg Brady: What are you talking about?
Marcia Brady: As if you didn't know.
Peter Brady: Bobby, do you know what she's talking about?
Bobby Brady: No. Greg, do you know what she's talking about?
Greg Brady: No. Marcia, do you know what you're talking about?
Marcia Brady: I certainly do, someone in this room took my diary.
Greg Brady: Your diary, you mean you actually keep one of those stupid things?
Bobby Brady: What's a diary?
Peter Brady: It's a book, that you write things, that you don't want anyone else to know.
Bobby Brady: Why?
Greg Brady: So, you could write stuff like [Greg then sits at his desk imitating Marcia writing in her diary]
Greg Brady: "Dear diary, at last I met him, my dream man, it was at the delicatessen and our fingers tingled as we reached over for the same potato salad." [the boys laugh]
Marcia Brady: [shouts] I have never written any ridiculous thing like that in my diary!
Peter Brady: You didn't?
Marcia Brady: [shouts] I should say not!
Greg Brady: Then, why are you afraid that somebody might read it?
Marcia Brady: None of your business.
TV Show: The Brady Bunch
Marcia Brady: It's so beneficial for me to be away from those children in junior high and to be with people of my own mature growth. I'm looking forward to the intellectual stimulation. Nice meeting you boys. Bye.
TV Show: The Brady Bunch