The Comedy Quote
Waitress: Do you have those clean glasses?
Swanson: [doesn't answer, looks her up and down]
Waitress: ...I'm sorry, are you deaf?
Swanson: [covering his nose]Oh, God, your fucking breath, it smells like this dirty, this, oh-I can't tell if it's the trash here, or your breath.
Waitress: There was something I was meaning to ask you, have you tried using the dish soap to clean out your asshole?
Swanson: Yeah, I use it all the time.
Waitress: Because you stink.
Swanson: [gesturing to the sink]I actually, this is where I shower, I shower, I put my head in here...
Waitress: Oh really, you can fit in there?
Swanson: Yeah. Oh you know what Rodrigo was asking me about, uh, making some bread, and I guess they're out of yeast, so they were wondering if they could use, uh, some of the yeast from your vagina, 'cause I notice how infected it gets?
Waitress: Yeah, he spoke to me about that, and I directed him to, uh, ask you about your dick cheese. See if that would maybe help.
Swanson: Oh, wow. So good, so funny! You're so funny!
Waitress: You are! You are!
Swanson: I didn't realize you were so funny!
Waitress: I didn't realize you were!
Swanson: ...you know I'm a convicted rapist, right? They told you that?
Waitress: No.
Swanson: Oh really, I thought they were supposed to let all the employees know about that.
Waitress: No, they didn't tell me.
Swanson: Yeah, I rape anything I can get my hands on. Alright?
Waitress: Mm-hm.
Swanson: [getting the glasses]Are these for you?
Waitress: Thank you.
Swanson: Okay, great, good luck!
Waitress: Bye, bye!
Swanson: [doesn't answer, looks her up and down]
Waitress: ...I'm sorry, are you deaf?
Swanson: [covering his nose]Oh, God, your fucking breath, it smells like this dirty, this, oh-I can't tell if it's the trash here, or your breath.
Waitress: There was something I was meaning to ask you, have you tried using the dish soap to clean out your asshole?
Swanson: Yeah, I use it all the time.
Waitress: Because you stink.
Swanson: [gesturing to the sink]I actually, this is where I shower, I shower, I put my head in here...
Waitress: Oh really, you can fit in there?
Swanson: Yeah. Oh you know what Rodrigo was asking me about, uh, making some bread, and I guess they're out of yeast, so they were wondering if they could use, uh, some of the yeast from your vagina, 'cause I notice how infected it gets?
Waitress: Yeah, he spoke to me about that, and I directed him to, uh, ask you about your dick cheese. See if that would maybe help.
Swanson: Oh, wow. So good, so funny! You're so funny!
Waitress: You are! You are!
Swanson: I didn't realize you were so funny!
Waitress: I didn't realize you were!
Swanson: ...you know I'm a convicted rapist, right? They told you that?
Waitress: No.
Swanson: Oh really, I thought they were supposed to let all the employees know about that.
Waitress: No, they didn't tell me.
Swanson: Yeah, I rape anything I can get my hands on. Alright?
Waitress: Mm-hm.
Swanson: [getting the glasses]Are these for you?
Waitress: Thank you.
Swanson: Okay, great, good luck!
Waitress: Bye, bye!
Movie: The Comedy
