The Final Girls Quotes
[the kids find themselves living inside of the old slasher movie that they were watching] Duncan: Okay. So, we're in the movie.
Max Cartwright: Uh-huh. How do we get out of here?
Gertie Michaels: Yeah, I like that question. That is a really, really good question. Duncan, can you answer that question, please?
Duncan: What are you talking about? It's 1986! Our homes don't exist yet, they're probably just landfills waiting to be turned into crappy subdivisions. WE don't exist yet. I know for a fact my parents haven't met because I was an unplanned child.
Max Cartwright: Uh-huh. How do we get out of here?
Gertie Michaels: Yeah, I like that question. That is a really, really good question. Duncan, can you answer that question, please?
Duncan: What are you talking about? It's 1986! Our homes don't exist yet, they're probably just landfills waiting to be turned into crappy subdivisions. WE don't exist yet. I know for a fact my parents haven't met because I was an unplanned child.
Movie: The Final Girls
Vicki Summers: I am glad that you die!
Kurt: What?
Duncan: Nothing! What she meant to say was that we all die eventually. Technically, we start dying the moment we're born.
Kurt: What?
Duncan: Nothing! What she meant to say was that we all die eventually. Technically, we start dying the moment we're born.
Movie: The Final Girls
Max Cartwright: You shouldn't have sex.
Nancy: Why?
Max Cartwright: Because I heard that sex can kill you.
Nancy: Why?
Max Cartwright: Because I heard that sex can kill you.
Movie: The Final Girls
Max Cartwright: We will pick this up again. Is that understood? In the meantime, just stay away from Kurt... and keep your shorts on!
Movie: The Final Girls
Nancy: Paula, you're just in time to start setting up for the slumber party!
Kurt: Yeah, we took a vote and you get to share my sleeping bag.
Paula: Thanks, Kurt, but I'm saving myself for someone who doesn't have a needle dick.
Kurt: Yeah, right. It's like a hammer... dick, if anything. It's a sledgehammer.
Kurt: Yeah, we took a vote and you get to share my sleeping bag.
Paula: Thanks, Kurt, but I'm saving myself for someone who doesn't have a needle dick.
Kurt: Yeah, right. It's like a hammer... dick, if anything. It's a sledgehammer.
Movie: The Final Girls
Duncan: The Bathematicians were so excited when I told them that Amanda Cartwright's daughter was my sister's best friend.
Gertie Michaels: Stepsister.
Duncan: Why would you say that? That's so hurtful.
Gertie Michaels: Stepsister.
Duncan: Why would you say that? That's so hurtful.
Movie: The Final Girls
Duncan: Camp Bloodbath is like the granddaddy of all campsite slasher films, okay. Amazing production design, insane music, over-the-top acting. It's a cult classic!
Movie: The Final Girls
Nancy: What does that tattoo mean?
Kurt: It was given to me in juvie. I was caught stealing cherries. I'm a... I'm a cherry thief.
Kurt: It was given to me in juvie. I was caught stealing cherries. I'm a... I'm a cherry thief.
Movie: The Final Girls
Gertie Michaels: Hey, just keep on keepin' on.
Max Cartwright: What does that even mean?
Gertie Michaels: It's something my therapist tells me all the time.
Max Cartwright: You have a therapist?
Gertie Michaels: Mmm-hmm.
Max Cartwright: Does it help you deal?
Gertie Michaels: No, not really. She's a physical therapist, so...
Max Cartwright: What does that even mean?
Gertie Michaels: It's something my therapist tells me all the time.
Max Cartwright: You have a therapist?
Gertie Michaels: Mmm-hmm.
Max Cartwright: Does it help you deal?
Gertie Michaels: No, not really. She's a physical therapist, so...
Movie: The Final Girls
Max Cartwright: Vicki, you don't have to die.
Vicki Summers: I'm the mean girl in the 80s horror movie and we're past the midpoint, so, you know, I'd say that I'd overstayed my welcome.
Vicki Summers: I'm the mean girl in the 80s horror movie and we're past the midpoint, so, you know, I'd say that I'd overstayed my welcome.
Movie: The Final Girls
Vicki Summers: I can't believe we're just gonna casually watch someone get murdered. What is this, Detroit?
Movie: The Final Girls
Duncan: If this is a dream, then there's a very strong chance that my dad's gonna come up to us naked and offer us some pecan pie. But don't take any. It is not pecan pie!
Movie: The Final Girls
Blake: So wait, is new wave real?
Gertie Michaels: Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Blake: But I'M not real?
Gertie Michaels: You're only real in the movie. So yeah, you're real here.
Blake: Oh, cool.
Gertie Michaels: Yeah. Yeah, of course.
Blake: But I'M not real?
Gertie Michaels: You're only real in the movie. So yeah, you're real here.
Blake: Oh, cool.
Movie: The Final Girls
Chris Briggs: What are Bathematicians?
Duncan: Camp Bloodbath fans. It's kind of our awesome nickname.
Gertie Michaels: Did you know that a nickname immediately becomes uncool when you give it to yourself?
Duncan: Camp Bloodbath fans. It's kind of our awesome nickname.
Gertie Michaels: Did you know that a nickname immediately becomes uncool when you give it to yourself?
Movie: The Final Girls
Gertie Michaels: You know that Chris broke up with Vicki last week, right? And she is a mess! Have you seen the veiled suicide note/poem she posted on her Facebook page? It's so hilarious! I read it out loud to myself. A lot!
Movie: The Final Girls