The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes
Carlton: Hey, you wanna hear a little chemistry rhyme?
Will: No, not really.
Carlton: Here.... Little Timmy took a drink, but he will drink no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4! That's how I remembered the equation for sulfuric acid.
Will: Look. I got one, I got one. Little Carlton was a boy whose body was short and stumpy. He'd never shut his mouth, so I kicked his little rumpy!
Will: No, not really.
Carlton: Here.... Little Timmy took a drink, but he will drink no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4! That's how I remembered the equation for sulfuric acid.
Will: Look. I got one, I got one. Little Carlton was a boy whose body was short and stumpy. He'd never shut his mouth, so I kicked his little rumpy!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: I can't stand it. This chirping is burning a hole STRAIGHT into my skull.
Geoffrey: There she blows, capitain! By the table! By the table!
Geoffrey: There she blows, capitain! By the table! By the table!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Philip: I got him! I killed that little sucker!
Philip: I got him! I killed that little sucker!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: Where'd you last put the insecticide?
Geoffrey: In your soup.
Geoffrey: In your soup.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: I thought you were in bed.
Will: Yeah, you also thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
Will: Yeah, you also thought Tupac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Ashley: Why are you guys still up? You're making it really hard for me to sneak in.
Will: Ashley, you know full well if you wanna sneak past Uncle Phil, you don't go through the kitchen.
Will: Ashley, you know full well if you wanna sneak past Uncle Phil, you don't go through the kitchen.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Ashley: Will, this is all your fault!
Will: What is that, like the theme of this family? When in doubt, blame Will.
Will: What is that, like the theme of this family? When in doubt, blame Will.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Vivian: You can't stop little girls from growing up.
Phil: I can, and I will!
Phil: I can, and I will!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Ding dong, the cricket's dead, Ashley's grounded, now you can all go to bed!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Ashley, listen to me. Guys are only after two things,-
Ashley: (interrupting) I thought they were only after one thing?
Will: Yeah, but they wanna do it more than once...
Ashley: (interrupting) I thought they were only after one thing?
Will: Yeah, but they wanna do it more than once...
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: You're grounded for 10 years.
Ashley: Daddy?
Philip: Or whenever you move out the house, whichever comes first.
Ashley: But that's not fair.
Philip: Tell it to the judge. Oh, That's me. (passes a plant and the chirping stops) I killed the cricket!
Geoffrey: (sarcastic) Ah, what a horrible death!
Ashley: Daddy?
Philip: Or whenever you move out the house, whichever comes first.
Ashley: But that's not fair.
Philip: Tell it to the judge. Oh, That's me. (passes a plant and the chirping stops) I killed the cricket!
Geoffrey: (sarcastic) Ah, what a horrible death!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Some guy's going to try to be all over you like cheese on a Big Mac.
Ashley: Will! Maybe I like cheese!
Will: How do you know you like something if you've never had it? Please tell me you ain't had no cheese, Ashley.
Ashley: (loudly) No, but if I want to have sex! [people stare at Ashley and Will] I do not need your approval!
Will: It-it's cheese, Ashley.
Ashley: Will! Maybe I like cheese!
Will: How do you know you like something if you've never had it? Please tell me you ain't had no cheese, Ashley.
Ashley: (loudly) No, but if I want to have sex! [people stare at Ashley and Will] I do not need your approval!
Will: It-it's cheese, Ashley.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Oh don't give me that innocent boy look routine! I invented that routine! And you just a bad little dog ooh shame.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: (scoffs) Does this look a place to have fun? I don't think so, ain't nobody gonna have some fun around here! Not you, not me, not her!
Samantha: And definitely not me! Goodbye Will!
Will: Hey hey come back oooh what is her name!
Samantha: And definitely not me! Goodbye Will!
Will: Hey hey come back oooh what is her name!
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Uncle Phil, you cannot go to dinner with Mrs. Robinson.
Phil: Why not?
Will: Look, Uncle Phil, I was dropping Wendy off at the hotel last night then Mrs. Robinson went to put on something more comfortable and she asked me about the earthquake experiences. Then she showed me pictures of her at Lake Tacancowa then she wanted to get more comfortable then Taa Daah.
Philip: Taa Dah
Will: Taaa Dah
Philip: Taaa Dah. OOOH! YOU SLEPT WITH JANICE.
Phil: Why not?
Will: Look, Uncle Phil, I was dropping Wendy off at the hotel last night then Mrs. Robinson went to put on something more comfortable and she asked me about the earthquake experiences. Then she showed me pictures of her at Lake Tacancowa then she wanted to get more comfortable then Taa Daah.
Philip: Taa Dah
Will: Taaa Dah
Philip: Taaa Dah. OOOH! YOU SLEPT WITH JANICE.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Ashley: Ashley go to your room.
Carlton: Oh I love this.
Ashley: And take Carlton with you.
Carlton: I'm not going anywhere.
Philip: You heard what I said.
Carlton: Oh I love this.
Ashley: And take Carlton with you.
Carlton: I'm not going anywhere.
Philip: You heard what I said.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: For mother's day I got my baby shoes bronzed. (Show's his baby shoes are adult sized)
Ashley: These are your baby shoes?
Will: Well you know what they say about guys with big feet?
Ashley: No, what?
Ashley: These are your baby shoes?
Will: Well you know what they say about guys with big feet?
Ashley: No, what?
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Phillip: If you'll excuse me, I think I'll skip dinner. I don't have much of an appetite.
Geoffrey: Should I call 911?
Geoffrey: Should I call 911?
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
(after Lou leaves)
Phillip: I'm sorry, Will.
Will: You know what? This actually works out better for me. You know, the slimmies of summer come to class wearin' next to nothing, y'know what I'm sayin'?
Phillip: Will, its all right to be angry.
Will: Hey, why should I be mad? At least he said goodbye this time. I just wish I hadn't wasted my money buying him this stupid present.
Phillip: I'm sorry. If there was something I can do--
Will: Hey, y'know what, you ain't got to do nothin', Uncle Phil. You know, ain't like I'm still 5 years old, you know? Ain't like I'ma be sittin' every night asking my mom: "when's daddy comin' home," you know? Who needs him? Hey, he wasn't there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned, didn't I? And I got pretty damn good at it too, didn't I, Uncle Phil?
Phillip: Yeah, you did.
Will: Got through my first date without him. Right. I learned how to drive, I learned how to shave, I learned how to fight without him. I had 14 great birthdays without him! He never even sent me a damn card! THE HELL WITH HIM!!!
[pause]
Will: I didn't need him then, I don't need him now.
Phillip: Will...
Will: No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'ma get through college without him, I'ma get a great job without him, I'ma marry me a beautiful honey, and I'ma have me a whole bunch of kids. I'ma be a better father than he ever was, and I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause there ain't a damn thing he could ever teach me about how to love my kids!
[long pause]
Will: [breaks down] How come he don't want me, man?
[the two share a tearful embrace]
Phillip: I'm sorry, Will.
Will: You know what? This actually works out better for me. You know, the slimmies of summer come to class wearin' next to nothing, y'know what I'm sayin'?
Phillip: Will, its all right to be angry.
Will: Hey, why should I be mad? At least he said goodbye this time. I just wish I hadn't wasted my money buying him this stupid present.
Phillip: I'm sorry. If there was something I can do--
Will: Hey, y'know what, you ain't got to do nothin', Uncle Phil. You know, ain't like I'm still 5 years old, you know? Ain't like I'ma be sittin' every night asking my mom: "when's daddy comin' home," you know? Who needs him? Hey, he wasn't there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned, didn't I? And I got pretty damn good at it too, didn't I, Uncle Phil?
Phillip: Yeah, you did.
Will: Got through my first date without him. Right. I learned how to drive, I learned how to shave, I learned how to fight without him. I had 14 great birthdays without him! He never even sent me a damn card! THE HELL WITH HIM!!!
[pause]
Will: I didn't need him then, I don't need him now.
Phillip: Will...
Will: No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'ma get through college without him, I'ma get a great job without him, I'ma marry me a beautiful honey, and I'ma have me a whole bunch of kids. I'ma be a better father than he ever was, and I sure as hell don't need him for that, 'cause there ain't a damn thing he could ever teach me about how to love my kids!
[long pause]
Will: [breaks down] How come he don't want me, man?
[the two share a tearful embrace]
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Philip: So I have an ugly side.
Geoffrey: And you could write "Good Year" on it.
Geoffrey: And you could write "Good Year" on it.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: Hey Ashley, you didn't tell me that dude blew in your ear.
Philip: Me either.
Ashley: Uh... I embelished.
Philip: Me either.
Ashley: Uh... I embelished.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
[Will is about to go fight a long time bully]
Will: C'mon Carlton lets go!
Carlton: I thought you said you wanted to do it alone.
Will: C'mon Carlton lets go!
Carlton: I thought you said you wanted to do it alone.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Carlton: You can't understand and respect women because you're not in touch with your feminine side.
Will: And you know what your problem is? You're not in touch with anybody's feminine side.
Will: And you know what your problem is? You're not in touch with anybody's feminine side.
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
When confronting his former bully, Omar...
Will: Listen man, you've kicked me off this court for the last time!
Omar: I don't even remember kicking you off the first time.
Will: You really don't remember me?
Omar: No.
Will: Hey, can I borrow that ball? (he takes a basketball from one of Omar's friends) Let me give you a little hint. (he hits Omar in the head with the ball)
Omar: Oh, I remember you now. But I'm not like that anymore.
Will: Really? You still look like that same bald-headed punk to me.
Omar: Oh yeah, I remember you. You're the chicken sandwich guy.
Will: I AM NOT A CHICKEN! My momma made me move. My momma made me move. I'd never leave Philly. I love it here.
Omar: So do I. That's why I started talking to the kids so that they won't make the same mistakes I did.
Will You sound like an after-school special. But that's not gonna do anything about my rep. (he gets in a fighting stance) Let's go right now, and I'm not taking "no" for an answer.
Omar: You have no choice.
(He leaves. As he and his friends walk away, Will approaches the fence.)
Will: Oh yeah? You so stupid, you thought a quarterback was a refund. And you're so ugly, that when you were born, the doctor slapped both your parents. And your mom, oh my goodness. She's like a doorknob, everybody's had a turn.
(Omar and his friends turn around.)
Will: I guess the mom's the red button.
(Omar aproaches Will.)
Will: Alright, let's go. Come on. (He tucks his head with hands.)
Omar: Look I know what you're trying to do, but I'm not going to hit you.
Will: (get up) Then I'll tell everyone you're a punk.
Omar: Be my guest.
Will: What about your rep?
Omar: You see those guys? (points at
Will: Listen man, you've kicked me off this court for the last time!
Omar: I don't even remember kicking you off the first time.
Will: You really don't remember me?
Omar: No.
Will: Hey, can I borrow that ball? (he takes a basketball from one of Omar's friends) Let me give you a little hint. (he hits Omar in the head with the ball)
Omar: Oh, I remember you now. But I'm not like that anymore.
Will: Really? You still look like that same bald-headed punk to me.
Omar: Oh yeah, I remember you. You're the chicken sandwich guy.
Will: I AM NOT A CHICKEN! My momma made me move. My momma made me move. I'd never leave Philly. I love it here.
Omar: So do I. That's why I started talking to the kids so that they won't make the same mistakes I did.
Will You sound like an after-school special. But that's not gonna do anything about my rep. (he gets in a fighting stance) Let's go right now, and I'm not taking "no" for an answer.
Omar: You have no choice.
(He leaves. As he and his friends walk away, Will approaches the fence.)
Will: Oh yeah? You so stupid, you thought a quarterback was a refund. And you're so ugly, that when you were born, the doctor slapped both your parents. And your mom, oh my goodness. She's like a doorknob, everybody's had a turn.
(Omar and his friends turn around.)
Will: I guess the mom's the red button.
(Omar aproaches Will.)
Will: Alright, let's go. Come on. (He tucks his head with hands.)
Omar: Look I know what you're trying to do, but I'm not going to hit you.
Will: (get up) Then I'll tell everyone you're a punk.
Omar: Be my guest.
Will: What about your rep?
Omar: You see those guys? (points at
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Will: (on the phone) Hey, Uncle Phil.
Philip: Hey, Will, are you calling from the plane?
Will: Actually, I'm not on the plane.
Philip: Oh, did you mis your flight?
Will: Sort of.
Philip: Then when are you coming back?
Will: I'm not.
(Following the conversation, the show's logo appears, reading "The Fresh Prince of Philidelphia?")
Philip: Hey, Will, are you calling from the plane?
Will: Actually, I'm not on the plane.
Philip: Oh, did you mis your flight?
Will: Sort of.
Philip: Then when are you coming back?
Will: I'm not.
(Following the conversation, the show's logo appears, reading "The Fresh Prince of Philidelphia?")
TV Show: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air