The Golden Palace Quotes
Roland Wilson: Aha! I caught you with your pants down!
Blanche: It's not like being the first man on the moon!
Blanche: It's not like being the first man on the moon!
TV Show: The Golden Palace
[Attempting to tell Blanche that she's too old to have a baby]
Rose: [to Blanche] ...I mean, don't you think that ship has sailed?
Sophia: That ship has sunk!
Rose: [to Blanche] ...I mean, don't you think that ship has sailed?
Sophia: That ship has sunk!
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Rose: [to a burglar with a ski mask] The hat is a tip-off, but...is this your first time in Miami?
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Sophia: Well, I'm 88, and --
Rose: 87.
Sophia: What?
Rose: You're 87, Sophia.
Sophia: ...okay. I'm 87 years old, and I used to have to wake up every morning just to live. Now I have to wake up every morning to cook 50 pounds of ravioli. I got stuff to do.
Rose: 87.
Sophia: What?
Rose: You're 87, Sophia.
Sophia: ...okay. I'm 87 years old, and I used to have to wake up every morning just to live. Now I have to wake up every morning to cook 50 pounds of ravioli. I got stuff to do.
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Rose: All we have to do is write "The Golden Palace" on something everyone sees.
Sophia: What do you say, Blanche? Up for another tattoo on your butt?
Sophia: What do you say, Blanche? Up for another tattoo on your butt?
TV Show: The Golden Palace
[Sophia and Chuy are playing poker]
Blanche: What's going on down here?
Chuy: Oh, Sophia got my pot.
Blanche: Well, she's a good cook, too. I'm sure she'll use it well.
Chuy: No, not that pot. The other kind.
Blanche: [shocked] All right, what in the hell is going on here?
Chuy: What? We were playing poker and she won. What did you think?
Blanche: [relieved] Oh!
Chuy: Wait a minute! Blanche, I'm shocked. Do I look like the kind of guy who would smoke marijuana?
Blanche: What's going on down here?
Chuy: Oh, Sophia got my pot.
Blanche: Well, she's a good cook, too. I'm sure she'll use it well.
Chuy: No, not that pot. The other kind.
Blanche: [shocked] All right, what in the hell is going on here?
Chuy: What? We were playing poker and she won. What did you think?
Blanche: [relieved] Oh!
Chuy: Wait a minute! Blanche, I'm shocked. Do I look like the kind of guy who would smoke marijuana?
- (Note: Chuy was played by Cheech Marin, best known as one-half of the pot-smoking comedy duo Cheech and Chong.)
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Blanche: Roland, I am not in a good mood right now.
Roland: Have you tried singing "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah"?
Roland: Have you tried singing "Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah"?
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Blanche: I'm telling you for the last time, no sheep, Rose.
Rose: "No sheep, Rose." "No sheep, Rose." That's all I ever hear from you.
Rose: "No sheep, Rose." "No sheep, Rose." That's all I ever hear from you.
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Sophia: They've got a choice: they can eat my lasagna or kiss my but.
Chuy: Okay, does your butt come with soup and salad?
Chuy: Okay, does your butt come with soup and salad?
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Rose: Penny for your thoughts, Sophia?
Sophia: You're stupid, and that's on the house.
Sophia: You're stupid, and that's on the house.
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Rose: [Storms out of the kitchen and is in a bad mood because of Blanche]
Man: Excuse me. I ordered rice. These are baked potatoes!
Rose: [Picks up potatoes and throws them against the door] We need rice!
Man: Excuse me. I ordered rice. These are baked potatoes!
Rose: [Picks up potatoes and throws them against the door] We need rice!
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Sophia: I need to make some money. Maybe I should wear a shorter skirt.
Chuy: Maybe you should just threaten to.
Chuy: Maybe you should just threaten to.
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Roland: Oh yeah, I guess it is about time I had a little talk with (Oliver) about... well... you know.
Blanche: Sex. Well, You can say it, it's not a dirty word.
Chuy(to Roland): Yeah, go ahead and say it. [in a guttural voice] SEXXXXXXXXXXX!
Blanche: ...okay, when Chuy says it, it's a dirty word. But still, we have to face the fact that Oliver's growing up and he needs the truth.
Roland: I know. I just haven't anticipated this happening so soon. I mean, Just yesterday I saw him in his room, making little animals with Rose's Play-Doh Fun Factory. And now I gotta tell him about-
Chuy: [in same guttural voice] SEXXXXXXXXXXX!
Roland: Man, will you stop saying that? Look, I gotta have this big talk with Oliver, I just wish I knew what to tell him.
Blanche: My mother told me sex was a woman's duty. That was the word she used, duty. And I guess I've been a proud little soldier ever since.
Chuy: Soldier!? You're a four-star general, I SALUTE YOU!
Blanche: Sex. Well, You can say it, it's not a dirty word.
Chuy(to Roland): Yeah, go ahead and say it. [in a guttural voice] SEXXXXXXXXXXX!
Blanche: ...okay, when Chuy says it, it's a dirty word. But still, we have to face the fact that Oliver's growing up and he needs the truth.
Roland: I know. I just haven't anticipated this happening so soon. I mean, Just yesterday I saw him in his room, making little animals with Rose's Play-Doh Fun Factory. And now I gotta tell him about-
Chuy: [in same guttural voice] SEXXXXXXXXXXX!
Roland: Man, will you stop saying that? Look, I gotta have this big talk with Oliver, I just wish I knew what to tell him.
Blanche: My mother told me sex was a woman's duty. That was the word she used, duty. And I guess I've been a proud little soldier ever since.
Chuy: Soldier!? You're a four-star general, I SALUTE YOU!
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Roland: I don't squish bugs. I shoo them.
[Sophia steps on a bug]
Sophia: There! I just shoed one too!
[Sophia steps on a bug]
Sophia: There! I just shoed one too!
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Roland: It's okay. I don't mind. I'm a workaholic.
Rose: [shocked] Oh, my God! He's been drinking Workahol?!
Rose: [shocked] Oh, my God! He's been drinking Workahol?!
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Joanne: Hello, wover [lover]. Guess who?
Roland: Please, God, tell me it's Elmer Fudd!
Roland: Please, God, tell me it's Elmer Fudd!
TV Show: The Golden Palace
[Dorothy is talking about how Sophia used her as a waitress when she was a child]
Dorothy: You used me!
Sophia: It was our quality time!
Dorothy: Quality time?! You referred to me as 'the help!'
Sophia: It was a nickname!
Dorothy: On Thursdays you'd lend me out to the neighbors!
Sophia: So? You learned the trade. Ingratitude. That's all I've gotten from any of my employees -- kids, my kids.
Dorothy: You used me!
Sophia: It was our quality time!
Dorothy: Quality time?! You referred to me as 'the help!'
Sophia: It was a nickname!
Dorothy: On Thursdays you'd lend me out to the neighbors!
Sophia: So? You learned the trade. Ingratitude. That's all I've gotten from any of my employees -- kids, my kids.
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Dorothy: Ma, you look horrible! You're as white as a sheet!
Sophia: That's because I'm between heartbeats. Come back in 15 minutes, and I'll look like one of the Last of the Mohicans!
Sophia: That's because I'm between heartbeats. Come back in 15 minutes, and I'll look like one of the Last of the Mohicans!
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Dorothy: [referring to Sophia] Has she come down yet?
Rose: Has who come down yet?
Dorothy: Amelia Earhart, Rose!
Rose: Has who come down yet?
Dorothy: Amelia Earhart, Rose!
TV Show: The Golden Palace
[Dorothy is upset with Blanche because Sophia ran away]
Blanche: I can't believe you said that. If I weren't a lady, I'd deck you.
Dorothy: If you'd try, I'd have you on your back so fast, you'd think you're out on a date.
Blanche: I can't believe you said that. If I weren't a lady, I'd deck you.
Dorothy: If you'd try, I'd have you on your back so fast, you'd think you're out on a date.
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Dorothy: Blanche, do you know what your problem is? You're all talk and no action. Just like your sex life.
Blanche: What are you saying? Are you saying I'm not a tramp? Then why do you think they call me the female Ted Kennedy?
Dorothy: Because you look like him.
Blanche: What are you saying? Are you saying I'm not a tramp? Then why do you think they call me the female Ted Kennedy?
Dorothy: Because you look like him.
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Ramone: You're Chuy Castillos?
Chuy: Yeah?
Ramone: You look like one of the Super Mario Bros.
Chuy: Yeah?
Ramone: You look like one of the Super Mario Bros.
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Nick DeCarlo: You're smarter than you look.
Rose: I wish I could believe that.
Rose: I wish I could believe that.
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Blanche: [about her husband George] He was a lusty man. Lusty, zesty man. Lusty, zesty cowboy who liked to ride all night!
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Sophia: I thought this practical joke would make me laugh, but it hasn't. It's affected me in ways I didn't think possible.
Chuy: It made you feel ashamed, didn't it?
Sophia: No, it excited me sexually.
Chuy: Sophia!
Sophia: I'm just as shocked as you are.
Chuy: It made you feel ashamed, didn't it?
Sophia: No, it excited me sexually.
Chuy: Sophia!
Sophia: I'm just as shocked as you are.
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Roland: It's not up to us to make moral judgements about the people staying in this hotel. [notices sign reading "Daughters of the Traditional South" in the lobby] "Daughters of the Traditional South?" Those bigots in bonnets aren't staying in this hotel!
Blanche: Roland, there is nothing wrong with the Daughters of the Traditional South!
Roland: Oh, I see; when they put those sheets on over their heads it must be some kind of salute to Casper the Friendly Ghost.
Rose: Ooh, when is that?
Blanche: Roland, there is nothing wrong with the Daughters of the Traditional South!
Roland: Oh, I see; when they put those sheets on over their heads it must be some kind of salute to Casper the Friendly Ghost.
Rose: Ooh, when is that?
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Rose: Don't you take your frustrations out on me, you cheap...scallop!
Blanche: The word is "trollop," you moron! I am a cheap trollop!
Blanche: The word is "trollop," you moron! I am a cheap trollop!
TV Show: The Golden Palace
Rose: [about Miles] I still call him up in the middle of the night to hear the cute things he says. [imitating Miles] "Don't you know what time it is?" "This happens again, I'm calling the police!" "Who the hell is this?" [in normal voice] And then, before I hang up I always say, "You blew it big time, smart boy."
Blanche: And he doesn't he recognize your voice?
Rose: No! I talk to him through a kazoo.
Blanche: And he doesn't he recognize your voice?
Rose: No! I talk to him through a kazoo.
TV Show: The Golden Palace