The Grand Budapest Hotel Quotes
M. Gustave: You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, fuck it.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: Rudeness is merely an expression of fear. People fear they won't get what they want. The most dreadful and unattractive person only needs to be loved, and they will open up like a flower.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: [to Mme. Celine's corpse]You're looking so well, darling, you really are... they've done a marvelous job. I don't know what sort of cream they've put on you down at the morgue, but... I want some.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Mr. Moustafa: There are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity... He was one of them. What more is there to say?
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Henckels: By order of the commissioner of police, Zubrowka Province, I hereby place you under arrest for the murder of Madame Celine Villenueve Desgoffe-und-Taxis.
M. Gustave: I knew there was something fishy. We never got the cause of death. She's been murdered, and you think I did it. [runs away]
M. Gustave: I knew there was something fishy. We never got the cause of death. She's been murdered, and you think I did it. [runs away]
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Dmitri: If I learn you ever once laid a finger on my mother's body, living or dead, I swear to God, I'll cut your throat! You hear me?
M. Gustave: I thought I was supposed to be a fucking faggot.
Dmitri: You are, but you're bisexual.
M. Gustave: I thought I was supposed to be a fucking faggot.
Dmitri: You are, but you're bisexual.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Zero: What happened?
M. Gustave: What happened, my dear Zero, is I beat the living shit out of a sniveling little runt called Pinky Bandinski, who had the gall to question my virility. Because, if there's one thing we've learned from penny dreadfuls, it's that when you find yourself in a place like this, you must never be a candy ass; you've got to prove yourself from day one. You've got to win their respect. You should take a long look at HIS ugly mug this morning. [Takes a sip of water and laughs]
M. Gustave: He's actually become a dear friend.
M. Gustave: What happened, my dear Zero, is I beat the living shit out of a sniveling little runt called Pinky Bandinski, who had the gall to question my virility. Because, if there's one thing we've learned from penny dreadfuls, it's that when you find yourself in a place like this, you must never be a candy ass; you've got to prove yourself from day one. You've got to win their respect. You should take a long look at HIS ugly mug this morning. [Takes a sip of water and laughs]
M. Gustave: He's actually become a dear friend.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Monk: [At the observatory]Are you Monsieur Gustave of the Grand Budapest Hotel in Nebelsbad?
M. Gustave: Uh-huh.
Monk: Get on the next cable car.
Monk: [On the cable car]Are you Monsieur Gustave of the Grand Budapest Hotel in Nebelsbad?
M. Gustave: Uh-huh.
Monk: Switch with me.
Monk: [At the monastery]Are you Monsieur Gustave of the Grand Budapest Hotel in Nebelsbad?
M. Gustave: Uh-huh.
Monk: [Hands them robes]Put these on and sing.
Monk: [Inside the monastery]Psst. Are you Monsieur Gustave of the Grand B...
M. Gustave: Yes, dammit!
Monk: Confess.
M. Gustave: I'm innocent!
Monk: No, no. [indicates confession booth]
M. Gustave: Uh-huh.
Monk: Get on the next cable car.
Monk: [On the cable car]Are you Monsieur Gustave of the Grand Budapest Hotel in Nebelsbad?
M. Gustave: Uh-huh.
Monk: Switch with me.
Monk: [At the monastery]Are you Monsieur Gustave of the Grand Budapest Hotel in Nebelsbad?
M. Gustave: Uh-huh.
Monk: [Hands them robes]Put these on and sing.
Monk: [Inside the monastery]Psst. Are you Monsieur Gustave of the Grand B...
M. Gustave: Yes, dammit!
Monk: Confess.
M. Gustave: I'm innocent!
Monk: No, no. [indicates confession booth]
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: I must say, I find that girl utterly delightful. Flat as a board, enormous birthmark the shape of Mexico over half her face, sweating for hours on end in that sweltering kitchen, while Mendl, genius though he is, looms over her like a hulking gorilla. Yet without question, without fail, always and invariably, she's exceedingly lovely.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Young Writer: Is it simply your last connection to that banished world - his world, if you will?
Mr. Moustafa: His world? No, I don't think so. You see, we shared a vocation, it wouldn't have been necessary. No, the hotel I keep for Agatha. We were happy here, for a little while. To be frank, I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it. But I will say, he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace.
Mr. Moustafa: His world? No, I don't think so. You see, we shared a vocation, it wouldn't have been necessary. No, the hotel I keep for Agatha. We were happy here, for a little while. To be frank, I think his world had vanished long before he ever entered it. But I will say, he certainly sustained the illusion with a marvelous grace.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Pinky: Me and the boys talked it over. We think you're a really straight fellow.
M. Gustave: Well, I've never been accused of that before, but I appreciate the sentiment.
M. Gustave: Well, I've never been accused of that before, but I appreciate the sentiment.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: Serge X, missing. Deputy Kovacs, also missing. Madame D, dead. Boy With Apple, stolen. By us. Dmitri and Jopling, ruthless, cold-blooded savages. Gustave H, at large. What else?
Zero: Zero, confused.
M. Gustave: Zero, confused, indeed. The plot thickens, as they say. Why, by the way? Is it a soup metaphor?
Zero: I don't know.
Zero: Zero, confused.
M. Gustave: Zero, confused, indeed. The plot thickens, as they say. Why, by the way? Is it a soup metaphor?
Zero: I don't know.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Dmitri: [about M. Gustave]This criminal has plagued my family for nearly 20 years. He's a ruthless adventurer and a con artist who preys on mentally feeble, sick old ladies! And he probably fucks them, too!
M. Gustave: I go to bed with all my friends. [Dmitri punches M. Gustave, Zero punches Dmitri, Jopling punches Zero]
M. Gustave: I go to bed with all my friends. [Dmitri punches M. Gustave, Zero punches Dmitri, Jopling punches Zero]
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: [Of Mme. Celine]She was dynamite in the sack, by the way.
Zero: ...She was 84, Monsieur Gustave.
M. Gustave: Mmm, I've had older. When you're young, it's all filet steak, but as the years go by, you have to move on to the cheap cuts. Which is fine with me, because I like those. More flavorful, or so they say.
Zero: ...She was 84, Monsieur Gustave.
M. Gustave: Mmm, I've had older. When you're young, it's all filet steak, but as the years go by, you have to move on to the cheap cuts. Which is fine with me, because I like those. More flavorful, or so they say.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: Well, what does it say? Where is it? What's it all about, damn it? Don't keep us in suspense, Serge, this has been a complete fucking nightmare! Just tell us what the fuck is going on!
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: If this do be the end, Farewell! cried the wounded piper-boy... [Jopling stomps]
M. Gustave: ...whilst the muskets cracked, and the yeomen roared Hurrah, and the ramparts fell... [Jopling stomps]
M. Gustave: Methinks me breathes me last, me fears! said he... [Zero pushes Jopling from behind; Jopling falls screaming over M. Gustave's head]
M. Gustave: Holy shit, you got him!
M. Gustave: ...whilst the muskets cracked, and the yeomen roared Hurrah, and the ramparts fell... [Jopling stomps]
M. Gustave: Methinks me breathes me last, me fears! said he... [Zero pushes Jopling from behind; Jopling falls screaming over M. Gustave's head]
M. Gustave: Holy shit, you got him!
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: [Regarding Boy with Apple]I'll never part with it. It reminded her of me; it will remind me of her, always. I'll die with this picture above my bed. See the resemblance?
Zero: Oh... oh, yes.
M. Gustave: [Just minutes later]Actually, we should sell it.
Zero: Oh... oh, yes.
M. Gustave: [Just minutes later]Actually, we should sell it.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: It's quite a thing, winning the loyalty of a woman like that for nineteen consecutive seasons.
Zero: Um... yes, sir.
M. Gustave: She's very fond of me, you know.
Zero: Yes, sir.
M. Gustave: I've never seen her like that before.
Zero: No, sir.
M. Gustave: She was shaking like a shitting dog.
Zero: ...Truly.
Zero: Um... yes, sir.
M. Gustave: She's very fond of me, you know.
Zero: Yes, sir.
M. Gustave: I've never seen her like that before.
Zero: No, sir.
M. Gustave: She was shaking like a shitting dog.
Zero: ...Truly.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Henckels: Who's shooting who?
Dmitri: That's Gustave H., the escaped murderer and art thief! I've got him cornered!
M. Gustave: That's Dmitri Desgoffe und Taxis! He's responsible for the killing of Deputy Kovacs, Serge X and his club-footed sister, plus his own mother! [pause]
Henckels: Nobody move; everybody's under arrest.
Dmitri: That's Gustave H., the escaped murderer and art thief! I've got him cornered!
M. Gustave: That's Dmitri Desgoffe und Taxis! He's responsible for the killing of Deputy Kovacs, Serge X and his club-footed sister, plus his own mother! [pause]
Henckels: Nobody move; everybody's under arrest.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: What is a lobby boy? A lobby boy is completely invisible, yet always in sight. A lobby boy remembers what people hate. A lobby boy anticipates the client's needs before the needs are needed. A lobby boy is, above all, discreet to a fault. Our guests know that their deepest secrets, some of which are frankly rather unseemly, will go with us to our graves. So keep your mouth shut, Zero.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: If I die first, and I almost certainly will, you will be my sole heir. There's not much in the kitty, except a set of ivory-backed hairbrushes and my library of romantic poetry, but when the time comes, these will be yours. Along with whatever we haven't already spent on whores and whiskey.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: The beginning of the end of the end of the beginning has begun. A sad finale played off-key on a broken-down saloon piano in the outskirts of a forgotten ghost town. I'd rather not bear witness to such blasphemy.
Zero: Me neither.
M. Gustave: The Grand Budapest has become a troops' barracks. I shall never cross its threshold again in my lifetime.
Zero: Me neither.
M. Gustave: Never again shall I...
Zero: Actually I think we might be going in there right now after all!
Zero: Me neither.
M. Gustave: The Grand Budapest has become a troops' barracks. I shall never cross its threshold again in my lifetime.
Zero: Me neither.
M. Gustave: Never again shall I...
Zero: Actually I think we might be going in there right now after all!
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
[first lines] Author: It is an extremely common mistake. People think the writer's imagination is always at work, that he's constantly inventing an endless supply of incidents and episodes; that he simply dreams up his stories out of thin air. In point of fact, the opposite is true. Once the public knows you're a writer, they bring the characters and events to you. And as long as you maintain your ability to look, and to carefully listen, these stories will continue to...
Author's Grandson: [shooting at him with a pellet gun]
Author: Stop it! Stop it! Don't! Don't do it!... Uh, will continue to seek you out, uh, over your lifetime. To him, who has often told the tales of others, many tales will be told.
Author's Grandson: Sorry.
Author: It's all right. The incidents that follow were described to me exactly as I present them here, and in a wholly unexpected way.
Author's Grandson: [shooting at him with a pellet gun]
Author: Stop it! Stop it! Don't! Don't do it!... Uh, will continue to seek you out, uh, over your lifetime. To him, who has often told the tales of others, many tales will be told.
Author's Grandson: Sorry.
Author: It's all right. The incidents that follow were described to me exactly as I present them here, and in a wholly unexpected way.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
Serge X.: Forgive me, Monsieur Gustave, I never meant to betray you. They threatened my life and now they've murdered my only family.
M. Gustave: No! Who'd they kill this time?
Serge X.: My dear sister.
M. Gustave: The girl with the club foot?
Serge X.: Yes.
M. Gustave: Those fuckers!
M. Gustave: No! Who'd they kill this time?
Serge X.: My dear sister.
M. Gustave: The girl with the club foot?
Serge X.: Yes.
M. Gustave: Those fuckers!
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: Why do you want to be a lobby boy?
Zero: Well, who wouldn't - at the Grand Budapest, sir. It's an institution.
Zero: Well, who wouldn't - at the Grand Budapest, sir. It's an institution.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
M. Gustave: [Gustave and Zero are examining Boy With Apple in Dmitri's study]This is van Hoytl's exquisite portrayal of a beautiful boy on the cusp of manhood. Blond, smooth skin as white as that milk, of impeccable provenance. One of the last in private hands, and unquestionably the best. It's a masterpiece. The rest of this shit is worthless junk.
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel
[after having escaped from Checkpoint 19] M. Gustave: How's our darling Agatha?
Zero: [Reciting]'Twas first light, when I saw her face upon the heath, and hence did I return, day by day, entranced, though vinegar did brine my heart, never w...
M. Gustave: Very good! I'm going to stop you there because the alarm has sounded, but remember where we left off, because I insist you finish later!
Zero: [Reciting]'Twas first light, when I saw her face upon the heath, and hence did I return, day by day, entranced, though vinegar did brine my heart, never w...
M. Gustave: Very good! I'm going to stop you there because the alarm has sounded, but remember where we left off, because I insist you finish later!
Movie: The Grand Budapest Hotel