The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy Quotes
[a chupacabra has latched onto Billy's head]
Grim: I think it's tryin' to suck his brains out, mon!
Mandy: Poor thing's gonna starve.
Grim: I think it's tryin' to suck his brains out, mon!
Mandy: Poor thing's gonna starve.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: [glances at Rudolpho] So, what are you... in for?
Rudolpho: I beat the snot out of a guy... for farting!
[Grim looks down and spots the duck ready to blow a raspberry]
Grim: [desperately] Guard!
Rudolpho: Just the sound of it makes me so angry!
Grim: [more desperately] Guard!
Rudolpho: Angry!
Grim: [as desperate as possible] Guard!
Guard: [finally arrives] All right, Reaper, your bail is here.
Irwin: I came here as soon as I got the call, yo.
Grim: [relieved sigh] I knew I could count on you, Irwin.
Irwin: [hands a piggy bank to the guard] Here you are, Officer.
Guard: Gee, thanks.
[throws the piggy bank across the room, breaking it]
Guard: How much was in that piggy bank?
Irwin: Four dollars and thirty-two cents.
Guard: So, you like to be a jokester, do ya, Mr. Funny Guy? Mr. Comedian, eh?
Irwin: I don't understand.
Guard: Well, the bail is thirty-five hundred dollars!
Irwin: [sobbing] I was only trying to be helpful!
Guard: Now get out of my jail, out!
Irwin: [runs out, sobbing] Sorry, Grim!
Guard: Yeah, yeah, you'd better run!
[calmly]
Guard: I'd like to think I'd make a difference.
Irwin: That was wiggety-whack, yo.
[finds the duck]
Irwin: Hey, a duck!
Rudolpho: I beat the snot out of a guy... for farting!
[Grim looks down and spots the duck ready to blow a raspberry]
Grim: [desperately] Guard!
Rudolpho: Just the sound of it makes me so angry!
Grim: [more desperately] Guard!
Rudolpho: Angry!
Grim: [as desperate as possible] Guard!
Guard: [finally arrives] All right, Reaper, your bail is here.
Irwin: I came here as soon as I got the call, yo.
Grim: [relieved sigh] I knew I could count on you, Irwin.
Irwin: [hands a piggy bank to the guard] Here you are, Officer.
Guard: Gee, thanks.
[throws the piggy bank across the room, breaking it]
Guard: How much was in that piggy bank?
Irwin: Four dollars and thirty-two cents.
Guard: So, you like to be a jokester, do ya, Mr. Funny Guy? Mr. Comedian, eh?
Irwin: I don't understand.
Guard: Well, the bail is thirty-five hundred dollars!
Irwin: [sobbing] I was only trying to be helpful!
Guard: Now get out of my jail, out!
Irwin: [runs out, sobbing] Sorry, Grim!
Guard: Yeah, yeah, you'd better run!
[calmly]
Guard: I'd like to think I'd make a difference.
Irwin: That was wiggety-whack, yo.
[finds the duck]
Irwin: Hey, a duck!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: At the rate this duck is getting people in the trouble, I predict this cell will be full in about... four hours.
Caption: Two hours later... [fart sound]
Grim: Man, that duck is good!
Hector Con Carne: I'm not even on this stupid show anymore!
Caption: Two hours later... [fart sound]
Grim: Man, that duck is good!
Hector Con Carne: I'm not even on this stupid show anymore!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: Oh, I get it! We're playing a game where we make stuff up, right? Okay...I see a big green eleflant! he plays the drums and listens to FREEDOM ROCK!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[Mandy's head has been swapped with fly's head.]
Pud'n: Mandy looks kinda funny.
Pud'n: Mandy looks kinda funny.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Mandy: I'm not a fly, Billy's Dad. It's me, Mandy. I need you to get Grim.
Harold: I get it! You're one of those talking flies that try to look like people!
Harold: I get it! You're one of those talking flies that try to look like people!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim(angry) Why you little...{Scythe shatters and the lights go out}
Billy{In the Dark} Where'd all the pieces go {A light is turned on and it shines thru the holes in billy's face} Wow!! Look at the lights!!!
Billy{In the Dark} Where'd all the pieces go {A light is turned on and it shines thru the holes in billy's face} Wow!! Look at the lights!!!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Scythe 2.0: I was never meant to be used as a hedge trimmer, a drain cleaner or a depilatory aid! I was meant to carve a swath of despair and destruction through the world of men, to blacken the skies and redden the seas, leaving nothing behind but entropy and uncomfortable silence...
Grim: Yeah, yeah, be quiet. One of these guys is gonna win a million bucks for milking a goat with his mouth!
Grim: Yeah, yeah, be quiet. One of these guys is gonna win a million bucks for milking a goat with his mouth!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: You'll have to use your feminine wiles to get him to talk.
Mandy: (groans) I hate Billy.
Mandy: (groans) I hate Billy.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Eris: (furious) Thud!! THUD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?
Thud: (nervous) Having some cereal.
Eris: And what have I said about having some cereal in the boardroom!?
Thud: Uhhh?
Eris: (spraying Thud with spray bottle) Bad Thud!!
(Thud backs away in terror while Grim and Mandy look on, weirded out)
Thud: No, no!!
(Thud, in a panic, drops the cereal bowl and Mandy picks up a piece while Eris threatens him with the spray bottle)
Thud: (begging) No, please, no!!
Mandy: Hey, Eris!
Eris: (whips head around) What!!?
Mandy: You got a piece of food stuck between your teeth.
Eris: (looks down at her teeth) No, I don't...
(Mandy flings an AppleScrap into the gap in Eris's front top row of teeth.)
Mandy: You do now.
Eris(startled) What in the... (the firedird comes of Billy's head and latches onto Eris')
Thud: (nervous) Having some cereal.
Eris: And what have I said about having some cereal in the boardroom!?
Thud: Uhhh?
Eris: (spraying Thud with spray bottle) Bad Thud!!
(Thud backs away in terror while Grim and Mandy look on, weirded out)
Thud: No, no!!
(Thud, in a panic, drops the cereal bowl and Mandy picks up a piece while Eris threatens him with the spray bottle)
Thud: (begging) No, please, no!!
Mandy: Hey, Eris!
Eris: (whips head around) What!!?
Mandy: You got a piece of food stuck between your teeth.
Eris: (looks down at her teeth) No, I don't...
(Mandy flings an AppleScrap into the gap in Eris's front top row of teeth.)
Mandy: You do now.
Eris(startled) What in the... (the firedird comes of Billy's head and latches onto Eris')
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Mandy: (trying to be nice) Billy, we've known each other now for what seems like a nightmarish eternity. And though I insult you and lie to you daily, steal your stuff, make fun of you, your family, and anyone who looks like you, I still don't feel like I (frustrated grunt) know you. Why don't you tell me more about yourself?
Billy: If I told you, you wouldn't understand. I'm a very complex and multi-layered person.
(He blows tiny gum bubbles)
Billy: (speaking very rapidly) But if you really want to know more about me, it's all here in my new autobiography! Hot off the presses! Complete and unabridged!!
Billy: If I told you, you wouldn't understand. I'm a very complex and multi-layered person.
(He blows tiny gum bubbles)
Billy: (speaking very rapidly) But if you really want to know more about me, it's all here in my new autobiography! Hot off the presses! Complete and unabridged!!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: We're here to see Mrs. Fingerwiggle.
Mandy: Pollywinkle.
Billy: Hairyankle!
Mandy: Pollywinkle!
Billy: Terrytingle?
Mandy: Pollywinkle.
Billy: Molly Ringwald!
Mandy: Pollywinkle! Oh, forget it.
Mandy: Pollywinkle.
Billy: Hairyankle!
Mandy: Pollywinkle!
Billy: Terrytingle?
Mandy: Pollywinkle.
Billy: Molly Ringwald!
Mandy: Pollywinkle! Oh, forget it.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Harold: I'm no quitter... and I'm not girly... I'm a ballet dancer!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Harold: No one steals Billy's soul. That wasn't in the school curriculum.
Mrs. Pollywinkle: Oh, yes it was. It was on the first page of the brochure in bright red letters.
Harold: Yeah, but you didn't count on one thing: I can't read!
Mrs. Pollywinkle: Oh, yes it was. It was on the first page of the brochure in bright red letters.
Harold: Yeah, but you didn't count on one thing: I can't read!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: What's going on up there? The whole place is falling apart.
Mandy: Yet another school that Billy's ruined.
Mandy: Yet another school that Billy's ruined.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[why Grim talks to a bush]
Pud'n: Maybe he's apologizing for peeing on it so much.
Pud'n: Maybe he's apologizing for peeing on it so much.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[After Grim's plan disasterously fails at the end.]
Mandy: The road to stupid is paved with good intentions.
Mandy: The road to stupid is paved with good intentions.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: Uh, excuse me, sir? Do you have time for an informal survey? What do you think is more frightening, these three scary monsters... [Bride of Frankenstein, Dracula and Wolf Man make scary noises] ...or this glass of water?
Man: Water! Eh, eh, WATER!
Grim: Look mon, I'll give you five bucks. Five bucks! If you say those monsters are scarier than the water.
Dracula: Dracula thirsty. Gonna drink this water.
Grim: Dracula, please don't!
Dracula: You can't tell Dracula what to do! Dracula a grown man. Do what he wants!
Man: Can I please go now?
Man: Water! Eh, eh, WATER!
Grim: Look mon, I'll give you five bucks. Five bucks! If you say those monsters are scarier than the water.
Dracula: Dracula thirsty. Gonna drink this water.
Grim: Dracula, please don't!
Dracula: You can't tell Dracula what to do! Dracula a grown man. Do what he wants!
Man: Can I please go now?
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Dracula: Wolfman swallowed a squirrel whole. Dracula told him to chew, but no one listens to Dracula!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Posters on the school wall: Scurvy Prevention Week; Lets all agree with vitamin C!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Mandy: Mindy, beauty pageants are ridiculous contests for ridiculous girls.
Mindy: Oh, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. Man-deeeee. You ugly people are so predictable. But since you were born hideous and beast-like, it's not my place to judge.
Mindy: Oh, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy, Mandy. Man-deeeee. You ugly people are so predictable. But since you were born hideous and beast-like, it's not my place to judge.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Mindy: Putting makeup on you is like putting diamonds on a doo-doo. Give it up, Mandy. I was Little Miss Rickets last year, Little Miss Toe Jam the year before and, GIRRRRL, I'm gonna be Little Miss Scurvy this year.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Principal Goodvibes: Look Mandy! I've got a lemon for a head! I guess that makes me... craaazy?
Mandy: Hello, Principal Goodvibes.
Principal Goodvibes: Mandy, I overheard the hurtful things that Mindy said to you. And I think she's got a point. You have to look deep inside, and realize that the only person who can decide if you're truly pretty... is a panel of three judges! Here's a pageant entry form.
Mandy: Hello, Principal Goodvibes.
Principal Goodvibes: Mandy, I overheard the hurtful things that Mindy said to you. And I think she's got a point. You have to look deep inside, and realize that the only person who can decide if you're truly pretty... is a panel of three judges! Here's a pageant entry form.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Mindy: You're not really going to enter the Little Miss Scurvy pageant, aren't you, Mandy?
Mandy: Scared of the competition?
Mindy: I'm scared that the judges will mistake you for a big doo-doo monster and chase you out of town with torches.
Grim: Oh, yeah? We'll see who chases whom with torches.
Billy: Yeah! Mandy'll take your pants off!
Grim: Beat your pants off...
Billy: BEAT your pants off.
Mindy: Oh, I'm soooo sure she'll win. And in case you didn't know -- that was sarcasm. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get a rib removed.
Mandy: Scared of the competition?
Mindy: I'm scared that the judges will mistake you for a big doo-doo monster and chase you out of town with torches.
Grim: Oh, yeah? We'll see who chases whom with torches.
Billy: Yeah! Mandy'll take your pants off!
Grim: Beat your pants off...
Billy: BEAT your pants off.
Mindy: Oh, I'm soooo sure she'll win. And in case you didn't know -- that was sarcasm. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get a rib removed.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Crabina: [about Mandy] What does this girl's attitude say to you?
Billy: It says bad things. Things I'm not supposed to repeat. Make the bad things go away! (cries) I'll be good Mommy! I promise.
Crabina: Exactly. She is what we refer her as "sour grapes".
Billy: It says bad things. Things I'm not supposed to repeat. Make the bad things go away! (cries) I'll be good Mommy! I promise.
Crabina: Exactly. She is what we refer her as "sour grapes".
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Crabina: Gentlemen, prepare for shock and awe. The plain, drab Mandy you knew before is dead.
Billy: GRIM, SHE MURDERED MANDY!
[Grim slaps Billy upside the head, causing his nose to fall off]
Grim: It's a figure of speech, dummy!
Billy: GRIM, SHE MURDERED MANDY!
[Grim slaps Billy upside the head, causing his nose to fall off]
Grim: It's a figure of speech, dummy!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: Look at these little girls all tarted up. What kind of sad, needy person would force them to do that?
Mom #1: Don't forget this is Mommy's big day.
Mom #2: The bigger you smile, the more beautiful Mommy looks!
Mom #3: Baby, it's time to earn Mommy's love!
Mom #1: Don't forget this is Mommy's big day.
Mom #2: The bigger you smile, the more beautiful Mommy looks!
Mom #3: Baby, it's time to earn Mommy's love!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Principal Goodvibes: And say hello to our impartial judges: General Skarr... Cap'n Greengums... and Mindy's mom!
Mindy's Mom: Hi, honey!
Mindy: Hi, mommy!
Grim: Impartial my big, boney...
Principal Goodvibes: BUT, before we begin, let's stop and think about why we are here...
Audience Member: My wife made me come!
Principal Goodvibes: (Scowls, then resumes) Scurvy is a terrible, terrible disease... Isn't that right, Cap'n Greengums?
Captain Greengums: Arr, I used to have a set of perfect gums, over which the tavern wenches swooned! But then, I got the scurvy! They had to replace me gums with... with... KOSHER PICKLES! [Starts to cry, and hugs Skarr] And I hate pickles!
Principal Goodvibes: Statistics show the number one cause of scurvy is ignorance! Please do not boil your fruit juices. I cannot stress this enough, people! [farts] Now with that out of the way -- let the pageant begin!
Mindy's Mom: Hi, honey!
Mindy: Hi, mommy!
Grim: Impartial my big, boney...
Principal Goodvibes: BUT, before we begin, let's stop and think about why we are here...
Audience Member: My wife made me come!
Principal Goodvibes: (Scowls, then resumes) Scurvy is a terrible, terrible disease... Isn't that right, Cap'n Greengums?
Captain Greengums: Arr, I used to have a set of perfect gums, over which the tavern wenches swooned! But then, I got the scurvy! They had to replace me gums with... with... KOSHER PICKLES! [Starts to cry, and hugs Skarr] And I hate pickles!
Principal Goodvibes: Statistics show the number one cause of scurvy is ignorance! Please do not boil your fruit juices. I cannot stress this enough, people! [farts] Now with that out of the way -- let the pageant begin!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Principal Goodvibes: Gom Jabbar!
Mindy: It BURRRRRNS! [pulls out hand]
Captain Greengums: Arrrr, that'll cost 'er some points.
Mindy: It BURRRRRNS! [pulls out hand]
Captain Greengums: Arrrr, that'll cost 'er some points.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Sir Raven: Will Mandy win the pageant? Will she ever smile? I don't care. Instead, here's an important commercial message.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy