The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy Quotes
Billy: So, as I was saying, there are lots of words that rhyme with "cheese"!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
General Skarr: [making cornbread] Real corn makes it special.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
General Skarr: What ARE you?!
Mandy: I'm just a pretty little girl.
Mandy: I'm just a pretty little girl.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: I'm as hungry as a jaybird on a diet on the fourth o' July.
[Cracks a giant egg.]
Billy: Look! I'm Rocky Balboa!
[Eats egg, then screams as tongue shrivels and falls out.]
[Cracks a giant egg.]
Billy: Look! I'm Rocky Balboa!
[Eats egg, then screams as tongue shrivels and falls out.]
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Jack O'Lantern: Three hundred and sixty-four days a year, I can't even go to the ding-dong grocery store to buy pudding! And do you know why?
Billy: [raises hand] Ooh, ooh, is it because you're a pumpkin-headed freak?
Jack O'Lantern: Yes! And why is that?
Billy: Is it 'cause Grim cut your real head off?
Jack O'Lantern: Yeees... And tonight, I'm going to return the favor! [evil grin]
Billy: You're going to cut Grim's head off? Don't be an idiot. [pushes scythe away from Grim's neck] Grim's head is removable; observe.
He removes Grim's head repeatedly to prove his point.
Jack O'Lantern: Ah, but any head cut off with the Grim Reaper's scythe stays off... FOREVER!!!
Billy: [frowns] That's a different story. Sorry, Grim ol' boy, tough break. Well... [walks away] We sure had some good times together, eh, Grim?
Grim: [guffaws] You're just going to leave me here?!
Jack O'Lantern: Now, now, that's no way to get a head!
Grim: That's not funny...
Jack O'Lantern: Come on, now, [snaps fingers] where's your sense of humor?
A tree demon ties Grim up and forces him to lean over on a tree stump execution-style. Jack O'Lantern laughs deviously and walks away. He returns with a basket, whistling casually as he drops it under Grim's head.
Grim: Oh, poop.
Billy: [raises hand] Ooh, ooh, is it because you're a pumpkin-headed freak?
Jack O'Lantern: Yes! And why is that?
Billy: Is it 'cause Grim cut your real head off?
Jack O'Lantern: Yeees... And tonight, I'm going to return the favor! [evil grin]
Billy: You're going to cut Grim's head off? Don't be an idiot. [pushes scythe away from Grim's neck] Grim's head is removable; observe.
He removes Grim's head repeatedly to prove his point.
Jack O'Lantern: Ah, but any head cut off with the Grim Reaper's scythe stays off... FOREVER!!!
Billy: [frowns] That's a different story. Sorry, Grim ol' boy, tough break. Well... [walks away] We sure had some good times together, eh, Grim?
Grim: [guffaws] You're just going to leave me here?!
Jack O'Lantern: Now, now, that's no way to get a head!
Grim: That's not funny...
Jack O'Lantern: Come on, now, [snaps fingers] where's your sense of humor?
A tree demon ties Grim up and forces him to lean over on a tree stump execution-style. Jack O'Lantern laughs deviously and walks away. He returns with a basket, whistling casually as he drops it under Grim's head.
Grim: Oh, poop.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
While walking away, Billy whistles casually. Then a lightbulb goes on over his head as he realizes the whole decapitation issue. The lightbulb smashes on his head.
Billy: [panicked] Grim's in trouble! [starts to run, yelling] Help, police!
Mandy: You screwed up again, did you?
Billy: [still panicked] Mandy, I've met Jack O'Lantern and he got Grim's scythe and he's crazy! And then we got candy and crush cards [calmly] and that was fun... [panicked again] But then, we found Grim and then Jack, him. Ooh, and now he's going to cut off Grim's head and I don't know what to do cause it's going to be cut off forever and stuff! And why the heck are you pouring super-hot sauce into that milk, girl?
Billy: [panicked] Grim's in trouble! [starts to run, yelling] Help, police!
Mandy: You screwed up again, did you?
Billy: [still panicked] Mandy, I've met Jack O'Lantern and he got Grim's scythe and he's crazy! And then we got candy and crush cards [calmly] and that was fun... [panicked again] But then, we found Grim and then Jack, him. Ooh, and now he's going to cut off Grim's head and I don't know what to do cause it's going to be cut off forever and stuff! And why the heck are you pouring super-hot sauce into that milk, girl?
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
[at the end.]
Billy: You know Grim, if you didn't give me the scythe in the first place, none of this would've happened!
Pause.
Grim: I hate you, Billy.
Billy: You know Grim, if you didn't give me the scythe in the first place, none of this would've happened!
Pause.
Grim: I hate you, Billy.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Mandy: Uh... [Billy looks at the burger and sees a family of flies on a picnic blacket, sitting on the burger]
Daddy Fly: Do you mind?! [He whacks Billy on the nose. Billy screams as Mandy covers her ears. Billy drags his tongue along the ground, and spits out the burger. It flies towards his house, where Grim holding a bucket and sponge is standing in his room, wearing a pink apron and a red cloth on his head.]
Grim: Finally! After seven hours of cleaning up after them brats, everything is spotless. [Silence for two seconds. Suddenly, gthe burger crashes through the window, creating a chain reaction of everything and the shelves falling down and breaking. One of the drawers catches on fire, turning the sprinklers on.]
Grim: [down on his knees, sobbing] Wwwhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyy?
Daddy Fly: Do you mind?! [He whacks Billy on the nose. Billy screams as Mandy covers her ears. Billy drags his tongue along the ground, and spits out the burger. It flies towards his house, where Grim holding a bucket and sponge is standing in his room, wearing a pink apron and a red cloth on his head.]
Grim: Finally! After seven hours of cleaning up after them brats, everything is spotless. [Silence for two seconds. Suddenly, gthe burger crashes through the window, creating a chain reaction of everything and the shelves falling down and breaking. One of the drawers catches on fire, turning the sprinklers on.]
Grim: [down on his knees, sobbing] Wwwhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyy?
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: Ah! Ah! Ah! I hate bugs! Oh, my gosh! What if I turn into a bug right now?!
Mandy: Let's do a bug test. Tell me the first thing that crawls into your little brain. Lady?
Billy: [quivers] Bug!
Mandy: June?
Billy: Bug!
Mandy: Yo, sucker, don't be...?
Billy: Buggin'!
Mandy: Yep. You're turning into a bug.
Billy: Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu... [goes crazy]...BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG!!!
Mandy: Let's do a bug test. Tell me the first thing that crawls into your little brain. Lady?
Billy: [quivers] Bug!
Mandy: June?
Billy: Bug!
Mandy: Yo, sucker, don't be...?
Billy: Buggin'!
Mandy: Yep. You're turning into a bug.
Billy: Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu... [goes crazy]...BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG!!!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Jeff: Wow. Who knew fathers and sons could be so happy? [sighs] If only I had a chance to show my dad what a great son I turned out to be. [Looks at some photos on the wall] But all I have to remember him by are these... [starts to cry] baby pictures! [The pictures show Billy holding Jeff as an egg, Billy sitting on the egg, Billy screaming in horror, Jeff waving, and Jeff watching Billy run out of the door screaming.]
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Jeff: Are you OK? [Billy looks terrified] It's alright, Dad. It's me, your son, Jeff! [Zoom in on Jeff's ugly face, claws, and dripping fangs] Happy to see me? [Billy stands up, looking scared. A centipede crawls down from the wall onto Billy's hat. Billy jumps in fear.] Hey, Dad, are you gonna eat that? [He takes the centipede and gobbles it up. Billy runs out of the bathroom, screaming. Mandy watches.] No, Dad, wait! You can have the bug! Oh, what did I do wrong?
Mandy: You're being too nice.
Jeff: Mandy, I don't think you can be too nice. I mean, maybe too forgiving, but too nice?[Mandy breaks the canopy above the door, making it fall on Jeff.] Oops. You dropped your canopy.
Mandy: See? Too nice. Look, nice gets their attention. But mean puts the hook in 'em. Just looks at Irwin. [Mindy walks up to Irwin, who's holding a double scoop ice cream]
Irwin: Hi, Mindy. Want a lick of my... [Mindy knocks the ice cream in his face]
Mindy: Oops. Later, loser. [walks away]
Irwin: I love you. [Jeff stares for a second]
Jeff: Wow! That's all it takes? Mandy, I want you to teach me to stop being so nice, and start being mean, cruel, and evil. More like you!
Mandy: I'l do it for a hundred bucks.
Jeff: A hundred bucks?! Well, for you... two hundred! [Gives her the money]
Mandy: Meet me at Billy's house at 6pm. And bring a bad attitude.
Mandy: You're being too nice.
Jeff: Mandy, I don't think you can be too nice. I mean, maybe too forgiving, but too nice?[Mandy breaks the canopy above the door, making it fall on Jeff.] Oops. You dropped your canopy.
Mandy: See? Too nice. Look, nice gets their attention. But mean puts the hook in 'em. Just looks at Irwin. [Mindy walks up to Irwin, who's holding a double scoop ice cream]
Irwin: Hi, Mindy. Want a lick of my... [Mindy knocks the ice cream in his face]
Mindy: Oops. Later, loser. [walks away]
Irwin: I love you. [Jeff stares for a second]
Jeff: Wow! That's all it takes? Mandy, I want you to teach me to stop being so nice, and start being mean, cruel, and evil. More like you!
Mandy: I'l do it for a hundred bucks.
Jeff: A hundred bucks?! Well, for you... two hundred! [Gives her the money]
Mandy: Meet me at Billy's house at 6pm. And bring a bad attitude.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: Thanks, Mr. One Eye.
General Skarr: My name is Mr. Skarr!
Billy: How come you got only one eye? Are you sensitive about it? Because if I had only one eye, I would be sensitive about it. You should wear an eye patch like a pirate, then all you need is a puffy shirt. Do you own a puffy shirt? You look like you would.
General Skarr: My name is Mr. Skarr!
Billy: How come you got only one eye? Are you sensitive about it? Because if I had only one eye, I would be sensitive about it. You should wear an eye patch like a pirate, then all you need is a puffy shirt. Do you own a puffy shirt? You look like you would.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
General Skarr: I'll show them what real power is! Take my love, my pain, and ALL of my anger!!!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Mandy: So, we were thinking of setting you free.
Grim: Really?
Billy: Yeah. All you gotta do is say you're a little girl.
Grim: I'm... a little girl.
Mandy: I'm not sure I bought it.
Billy: Yeah! Are you a pretty girl?
Grim: [high-pitched, feminine voice] I'm very pretty! Look at me! I'm queen pretty! Aren't boys just so dreamy? I can talk on the phone for hours about nothing!
Mandy: Grim...?
Grim: Let's brush my hair! And paint my toes!
Mandy: ...you can stop. We were only kidding.
Grim: Oh, it's fun to accessorise! Let's all ride some magical pink ponies! I'll name mine Sparkles Fantastic!
Grim: Really?
Billy: Yeah. All you gotta do is say you're a little girl.
Grim: I'm... a little girl.
Mandy: I'm not sure I bought it.
Billy: Yeah! Are you a pretty girl?
Grim: [high-pitched, feminine voice] I'm very pretty! Look at me! I'm queen pretty! Aren't boys just so dreamy? I can talk on the phone for hours about nothing!
Mandy: Grim...?
Grim: Let's brush my hair! And paint my toes!
Mandy: ...you can stop. We were only kidding.
Grim: Oh, it's fun to accessorise! Let's all ride some magical pink ponies! I'll name mine Sparkles Fantastic!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
General Skarr: Give me that! [General Skarr takes off with Grim's scythe.]
Grim: Hey! It's not polite to steal from little girls!
Grim: Hey! It's not polite to steal from little girls!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Mandy: Hey, Jeff.
Jeff: [whispering] Psst! Mandy! I'm over here!
Mandy: [sarcastically] Oh, you're definately Billy's son.
Jeff: OK, Mandy. Time to play hardball with Dad. And to show him I mean business, I made him some pony tear truffles. [Holds out a tray of them. Mandy facepalms. Billy comes outside, not noticing Jeff]
Billy: Hey, Mandy! Guess who got the crazy high score?
Jeff: You?
Billy: Yep, me. [sees Jeff] AAAAAAAAAH! [hugs Mandy in fear] It's that freaky giant spider, and he's made pony tear truffles! [tries one] No white chocolate. RUN!
Mandy: Attack.
Jeff: [throws the tray away] Grr! Dad? Dad! [crashes through the door. Mandy watches]
Mandy: This is gonna be good. [Jeff corners a terrified Billy]
Jeff: Dad, I know that maybe I didn' turn out the way you planned, but gosh darnit, I'm your son! And I cordially request some love! [whispers] How am I doing?
Mandy: Meaner!
Jeff: Right! Strike the courtual part! [Billy screams and grabs a table] Dad? [Billy slams the table down on Jeff's head]
Billy: [grabbing a boombox] Get away from me, freak! Yaaah! [Slams the boombox on Jeff, then starts throwing more furniture at him]
Jeff: It's working, Mandy! [Gets hit in the head with a lava lamp] He's showering me with gifts! [Billy runs away] Oh, Mandy! I can feel the warmth of Daddy's love, surging through my shattered lenses!
Mandy: This is gonna be harder than I thought. Time for Plan B.
Jeff: [whispering] Psst! Mandy! I'm over here!
Mandy: [sarcastically] Oh, you're definately Billy's son.
Jeff: OK, Mandy. Time to play hardball with Dad. And to show him I mean business, I made him some pony tear truffles. [Holds out a tray of them. Mandy facepalms. Billy comes outside, not noticing Jeff]
Billy: Hey, Mandy! Guess who got the crazy high score?
Jeff: You?
Billy: Yep, me. [sees Jeff] AAAAAAAAAH! [hugs Mandy in fear] It's that freaky giant spider, and he's made pony tear truffles! [tries one] No white chocolate. RUN!
Mandy: Attack.
Jeff: [throws the tray away] Grr! Dad? Dad! [crashes through the door. Mandy watches]
Mandy: This is gonna be good. [Jeff corners a terrified Billy]
Jeff: Dad, I know that maybe I didn' turn out the way you planned, but gosh darnit, I'm your son! And I cordially request some love! [whispers] How am I doing?
Mandy: Meaner!
Jeff: Right! Strike the courtual part! [Billy screams and grabs a table] Dad? [Billy slams the table down on Jeff's head]
Billy: [grabbing a boombox] Get away from me, freak! Yaaah! [Slams the boombox on Jeff, then starts throwing more furniture at him]
Jeff: It's working, Mandy! [Gets hit in the head with a lava lamp] He's showering me with gifts! [Billy runs away] Oh, Mandy! I can feel the warmth of Daddy's love, surging through my shattered lenses!
Mandy: This is gonna be harder than I thought. Time for Plan B.
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Sir Raven: And thus our story ends. If you've been paying any attention, it's because you're a nerd with nothing better to do. And what of Billy you ask? Well, he got himself a new unicycle...
Billy: I'll call you... UNI!
Sir Raven: And what of everybody else? Who cares? They bore the snot out of me. THEEEE ENNND!
Billy: I'll call you... UNI!
Sir Raven: And what of everybody else? Who cares? They bore the snot out of me. THEEEE ENNND!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Sir Raven: Alas, poor Billy, destined to walk the superfluous streets of suburbia. A doomed husk of a child. Don't cry for him... DO NOT CRYYY!!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: My bike rocks! Oh, the wheels are like circles!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: Wow, what a cool tricycle! I'll name you... TRIKY! Come on Triky, lets have some FUN!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: Hey, guys, guys! Do you notice anything new?
Irwin: [he and Pud'n snicker] What is that, yo? Is that a tricycle?
Billy: Yup! His name is Triky.
Irwin: [he and Pud'n snicker, but burst out laughing] Incoming data packet for Billy: only big babies drive tricycles!
Billy: That's not true!
Irwin: [teases Billy with a baby bottle] Ready for your bottle?
Billy: [about to cry] I'm not a big baby! I'm a young adult!
Irwin and Pud'n: [singing] Baby Billy, Sitting in a crib; Dripping mashed potatoes all down his bib.
Billy: [crying] You're wrong! Triky is cool! And I haven't worn a bib in months! [while riding the tricyle, he sobs all the way home, going to the kitchen to drink his pint of milk, he then burps; continues crying all the way to his room, lying on his bed] T-they-- They didn't even give me a chance!
Irwin: [he and Pud'n snicker] What is that, yo? Is that a tricycle?
Billy: Yup! His name is Triky.
Irwin: [he and Pud'n snicker, but burst out laughing] Incoming data packet for Billy: only big babies drive tricycles!
Billy: That's not true!
Irwin: [teases Billy with a baby bottle] Ready for your bottle?
Billy: [about to cry] I'm not a big baby! I'm a young adult!
Irwin and Pud'n: [singing] Baby Billy, Sitting in a crib; Dripping mashed potatoes all down his bib.
Billy: [crying] You're wrong! Triky is cool! And I haven't worn a bib in months! [while riding the tricyle, he sobs all the way home, going to the kitchen to drink his pint of milk, he then burps; continues crying all the way to his room, lying on his bed] T-they-- They didn't even give me a chance!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Billy: Triky wouldn't hurt anyone, he is cool like that!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Pud'n: And what about me? Look what your mean tricycle wrote on my full body cast!
Billy: [reading from Pud'n's cast] Your pain has only begun. I'll be back to finish the job. You stink! Love, Triky... it could be any Triky!
Billy: [reading from Pud'n's cast] Your pain has only begun. I'll be back to finish the job. You stink! Love, Triky... it could be any Triky!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Weird kid: Hello, Billy.
Billy: How'd you know my name?
Weird kid: I guessed.
Weird kid: Yes, it's totally free, but there's one thing: You must promise to love it FOREVER, and EVER, and EVER... and ever.
Billy: I promise! [thunders strike, black background.]
Weird kid: MUHAHAHAHA!
Billy: [stares at him confused.]
Weird kid: ha, ha... Oh, I'm sorry, I just remembered one really funny joke, about a duck and a [church bells]... never mind, it's time for you to go! And remember: you must love it forever... forever... forever...
Billy: OK! Thanks Mr. Kid!
Billy: How'd you know my name?
Weird kid: I guessed.
Weird kid: Yes, it's totally free, but there's one thing: You must promise to love it FOREVER, and EVER, and EVER... and ever.
Billy: I promise! [thunders strike, black background.]
Weird kid: MUHAHAHAHA!
Billy: [stares at him confused.]
Weird kid: ha, ha... Oh, I'm sorry, I just remembered one really funny joke, about a duck and a [church bells]... never mind, it's time for you to go! And remember: you must love it forever... forever... forever...
Billy: OK! Thanks Mr. Kid!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Weird kid: You're monkey people, all of yoooouuuuu...
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Sperg: This is where the sidewalk ends baby!
Billy: Don't do it! [Sperg throws Triky] TRIKYYYYYYY!
Sperg: Wow! This is more better than I thought!
Billy: Don't do it! [Sperg throws Triky] TRIKYYYYYYY!
Sperg: Wow! This is more better than I thought!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: No child, that's not bad luck. You're just stupid!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Grim: [scanning Billy] Just as I suspected. His brain is caught in a weird juju vortex, and his good luck matrix is in the red. This could only mean one thing: Catastrophe Snail!
Billy: Catastrophe Snail?!
Grim: Right in your noodle.
Mandy: But how did it get there?
Grim: It must have been in that restaurant when Billy spilled the salt. I told him to throw salt over his shoulder to prevent bad luck, but Billy panicked. He reached for the salt, but he grabbed the pepper. That's when the snail must have appeared on Billy's shoulder. Salt would've have fizzled that slimeball, but Billy threw pepper. And at that time, the whole place was sneezing. So, that snail slipped right into Billy's ear with nobody noticing a ting. Once the Catastrophe Snail gets in your head, he plugs his shell right into brain. And once he's plugged in, mon, he'll be reprogramming your mind to have nothing but bad luck only. Dig it?
Catastrophe Snail: I love my job!
Grim: Yeah, mon. And if we don't pull him out soon... I guess it's fatal.
Billy: [screaming] He's messing with my head!!!
Billy: Catastrophe Snail?!
Grim: Right in your noodle.
Mandy: But how did it get there?
Grim: It must have been in that restaurant when Billy spilled the salt. I told him to throw salt over his shoulder to prevent bad luck, but Billy panicked. He reached for the salt, but he grabbed the pepper. That's when the snail must have appeared on Billy's shoulder. Salt would've have fizzled that slimeball, but Billy threw pepper. And at that time, the whole place was sneezing. So, that snail slipped right into Billy's ear with nobody noticing a ting. Once the Catastrophe Snail gets in your head, he plugs his shell right into brain. And once he's plugged in, mon, he'll be reprogramming your mind to have nothing but bad luck only. Dig it?
Catastrophe Snail: I love my job!
Grim: Yeah, mon. And if we don't pull him out soon... I guess it's fatal.
Billy: [screaming] He's messing with my head!!!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Catastrophe Snail: [after being evicted from Billy's brain] This is definitely NOT my lucky day.
[He laughs stupidly]
[He laughs stupidly]
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy
Harold: So son, wanna go fishin'?
Billy: NO!
Harold: That's the spirit!
Billy: NO!
Harold: That's the spirit!
TV Show: The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy