The Hebrew Hammer Quotes

Mordechai Jefferson Carver: [talking on the phone] I need you to get in contact with the Worldwide Jewish Media Conspiracy and mass-produce every holiday movie that has a Jewish protagonist who is depicted in a positive light.
Chief Bloomenbergansteinthal: So you want me to mass produce Yentl, Fiddler on the Roof, and Chaim Potok's The Chosen?
Mordechai Jefferson Carver: Right.

Movie: The Hebrew Hammer
Mordechai Jefferson Carver: [praying with tefillin] Baruch atah adonoi... I don't know what the hell I'm saying.
Mohammed Ali Paula Abdul Rahim: What you doing?
Mordechai Jefferson Carver: I'm prayin' to God we don't kill ourselves gettin' over this wall.

Movie: The Hebrew Hammer
Santa Damien: You numb-nutted, gimpy little *****!

Movie: The Hebrew Hammer