The Martian Quotes
Mark Watney: All right, let me get a few things out of the way, right off the bat. Yes, I did in fact survive on a deserted planet by farming in my own shit. Yes, it's actually worse than it sounds. So, let's not talk about that ever again.
Movie: The Martian
[first lines] Melissa Lewis: All right team, stay in sight of each other. Let's make NASA proud today.
Rick Martinez: How's it looking over there, Watney?
Mark Watney: Well, you will be happy to hear that in Grid Section 14-28, the particles were predominately coarse but in 29, they're much finer and they should be ideal for chem analysis.
Rick Martinez: Oh, wow. Did everybody hear that? Mark just discovered dirt. [laughs]
Rick Martinez: Should we alert the media?
Rick Martinez: How's it looking over there, Watney?
Mark Watney: Well, you will be happy to hear that in Grid Section 14-28, the particles were predominately coarse but in 29, they're much finer and they should be ideal for chem analysis.
Rick Martinez: Oh, wow. Did everybody hear that? Mark just discovered dirt. [laughs]
Rick Martinez: Should we alert the media?
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: [talking to himself]I'm sorry, Martinez, but if you didn't want me to go through your stuff, you shouldn't have left me for dead on a desolate planet.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: I figured one of you guys kept an ASCII table lying around. And I was right. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you super-nerd Beth Johanssen, who also had copies of Zork II and Leather Goddesses of Phobos on her personal laptop. Seriously, Johanssen... it's like the Smithsonian of loneliness on there.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: [mouthed, when he's told the crew doesn't know he's still alive]What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK?
Movie: The Martian
Bruce Ng: Mars' atmosphere is so thin, by the time the ship's going fast enough for air resistance to matter, it'll be high enough that there's practically no air.
Vincent Kapoor: You want to send him into space under a tarp?
Bruce Ng: Yes... Can I go on?
Vincent Kapoor: [frustrated look]NO
Vincent Kapoor: You want to send him into space under a tarp?
Bruce Ng: Yes... Can I go on?
Vincent Kapoor: [frustrated look]NO
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: [listening to Turn the beat around]I am definitely gonna die up here if I have to listen to any more of Commander Lewis' god-awful disco music. My god commander could you have not brought something from this century. No I won't turn the beat around, I refuse to.
Movie: The Martian
Tim Grimes: Okay he says They don't know I'm alive? What the F word, F word in gerund form, F word again is wrong with you?
Movie: The Martian
Annie Montrose: What the hell is Project Elrond?
Rich Purnell: I had to make something up.
Annie Montrose: But Elrond?
Mitch Henderson: Because it's a secret meeting.
Annie Montrose: How do you know that, and why does Elrond mean secret meeting?
Mitch Henderson: The Council of Elrond. It's the... it's... it's... from The Lord of the Rings. It's the meeting where they decide to destroy the one ring.
Teddy Sanders: If we are going to have a secret project called Elrond, I would like my code name to be Glorfindel.
Annie Montrose: I hate every one of you.
Rich Purnell: I had to make something up.
Annie Montrose: But Elrond?
Mitch Henderson: Because it's a secret meeting.
Annie Montrose: How do you know that, and why does Elrond mean secret meeting?
Mitch Henderson: The Council of Elrond. It's the... it's... it's... from The Lord of the Rings. It's the meeting where they decide to destroy the one ring.
Teddy Sanders: If we are going to have a secret project called Elrond, I would like my code name to be Glorfindel.
Annie Montrose: I hate every one of you.
Movie: The Martian
Teddy Sanders: [From Extended Version]I just had to explain to the President of the United States what a beaurocratic felcher is.
Mitch Henderson: I made the mistake of typing it into Google. Don't.
Mitch Henderson: I made the mistake of typing it into Google. Don't.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: None of this matters at all if I can't find a way to make contact with NASA.
Movie: The Martian
Mitch Henderson: The truth is that Mark's right. The longer we wait the worse it's going to get. We need to tell the crew.
Teddy Sanders: You're saying this now while Vincent is in Pasadena so he can't argue the other side.
Mitch Henderson: I shouldn't have to answer to Vincent or anyone else. It's time Teddy.
Teddy Sanders: You're saying this now while Vincent is in Pasadena so he can't argue the other side.
Mitch Henderson: I shouldn't have to answer to Vincent or anyone else. It's time Teddy.
Movie: The Martian
Mitch Henderson: He's not even got to the bad parts yet.
Vincent Kapoor: Well, let's get to the bad parts.
Bruce Ng: We need to remove the nose LR, the windows, and the whole of panel 19.
Vincent Kapoor: You want to take the front of the ship off?
Bruce Ng: Sure. The nose alone is four hundred kilograms.
Vincent Kapoor: You want to send a man into space without the front of his ship?
Bruce Ng: Well, no. We are going to have him cover it with HAB canvas. The hull is mostly there to keep air in. Mars' atmosphere is so thin, you do not need a lot of streamlining. By the time the ship is going fast enough for air resistance to matter, it'll be high enough that there will be practically no air.
Vincent Kapoor: You want to send him into space under a tarp?
Bruce Ng: Yes. Can I go on?
Vincent Kapoor: [exasperated]NO!
Vincent Kapoor: Well, let's get to the bad parts.
Bruce Ng: We need to remove the nose LR, the windows, and the whole of panel 19.
Vincent Kapoor: You want to take the front of the ship off?
Bruce Ng: Sure. The nose alone is four hundred kilograms.
Vincent Kapoor: You want to send a man into space without the front of his ship?
Bruce Ng: Well, no. We are going to have him cover it with HAB canvas. The hull is mostly there to keep air in. Mars' atmosphere is so thin, you do not need a lot of streamlining. By the time the ship is going fast enough for air resistance to matter, it'll be high enough that there will be practically no air.
Vincent Kapoor: You want to send him into space under a tarp?
Bruce Ng: Yes. Can I go on?
Vincent Kapoor: [exasperated]NO!
Movie: The Martian
Mitch Henderson: High... hello this is Mitch... Mitch Henderson. I have some news. There's no subtle way to put this; Mark Watney's still alive.
Melissa Lewis: Oh my god.
Chris Beck: What!
Melissa Lewis: Oh my god.
Chris Beck: What!
Movie: The Martian
Mitch Henderson: Do you believe in God, Vincent?
Vincent Kapoor: Yeah. Yeah, my father was a Hindu, my mother's a Baptist, so, yeah, I believe in several.
Vincent Kapoor: Yeah. Yeah, my father was a Hindu, my mother's a Baptist, so, yeah, I believe in several.
Movie: The Martian
Mark Watney: It's been 48 sols since I planted the potatoes. So now it's time to reap and re-sow. They grew even better than I expected. I now have 400 healthy potato plants. I dug them up being careful to leave their plants alive. The smaller ones I'll reseed, the larger ones are my food supply. All natural, organic, martian-grown potatoes. You don't hear that every day, do you? And by the way, none of this matters at all if I can't figure out a way to make contact with NASA.
Movie: The Martian
Annie Montrose: But if something goes wrong?
Vincent Kapoor: Then we lose the crew.
Bruce Ng: So what, we either have a high chance of killing one person, or a low chance of killing six people. How do we make that decision?
Vincent Kapoor: We don't. [pointing to Teddy]
Vincent Kapoor: He does.
Mitch Henderson: Yeah, bullshit. It should be Commander Lewis' call.
Teddy Sanders: We still have a chance to bring five astronauts home safe and sound. I'm not risking their lives.
Mitch Henderson: Let them make that decision.
Teddy Sanders: Mitch, we are going with option one.
Mitch Henderson: You god damn coward.
Vincent Kapoor: Then we lose the crew.
Bruce Ng: So what, we either have a high chance of killing one person, or a low chance of killing six people. How do we make that decision?
Vincent Kapoor: We don't. [pointing to Teddy]
Vincent Kapoor: He does.
Mitch Henderson: Yeah, bullshit. It should be Commander Lewis' call.
Teddy Sanders: We still have a chance to bring five astronauts home safe and sound. I'm not risking their lives.
Mitch Henderson: Let them make that decision.
Teddy Sanders: Mitch, we are going with option one.
Mitch Henderson: You god damn coward.
Movie: The Martian
Bruce Ng: Okay, um, I'm going to start by stating for the record, you are not going to like this.
Vincent Kapoor: Oh yeah.
Mitch Henderson: Yeah. The problem is the intercept velocity. The Hermes, well... it... it... can't enter Mars orbit, otherwise they will never have enough fuel to make it home. The MAV is only designed to enter low Mars orbit. So in order for Mark to escape Mars' gravity entirely to intercept with Hermes...
Vincent Kapoor: He has to be going fast.
Mitch Henderson: Exactly.
Bruce Ng: Which means we need to make the MAV lighter. A lot lighter. Five thousand kilograms lighter.
Vincent Kapoor: But you can do that, right?...
Vincent Kapoor: Oh yeah.
Mitch Henderson: Yeah. The problem is the intercept velocity. The Hermes, well... it... it... can't enter Mars orbit, otherwise they will never have enough fuel to make it home. The MAV is only designed to enter low Mars orbit. So in order for Mark to escape Mars' gravity entirely to intercept with Hermes...
Vincent Kapoor: He has to be going fast.
Mitch Henderson: Exactly.
Bruce Ng: Which means we need to make the MAV lighter. A lot lighter. Five thousand kilograms lighter.
Vincent Kapoor: But you can do that, right?...
Movie: The Martian
Melissa Lewis: You're in Martinez's hands now
Mark Watney: Well... tell that asshole no barrel rolls
Melissa Lewis: Copy that MAV
Mark Watney: Well... tell that asshole no barrel rolls
Melissa Lewis: Copy that MAV
Movie: The Martian
Bruce Ng: Alright. Ah, thanks to my uncle Tommy in China, we get another chance at this. Now, we finished the Iris probe in 62 days, and now we are going to attempt to finish it in 28.
Movie: The Martian
Teddy Sanders: We need to use the Taiyang Shen.
Vincent Kapoor: Uh huh
Annie Montrose: What am I missing? Why is that important?
Vincent Kapoor: Beause we can only do one.
Teddy Sanders: Send Watney enough food to last until Ares IV, or send Hermes back to get him right now.
Vincent Kapoor: Both plans require the use of the Taiyang Shen. So we have to choose.
Vincent Kapoor: Uh huh
Annie Montrose: What am I missing? Why is that important?
Vincent Kapoor: Beause we can only do one.
Teddy Sanders: Send Watney enough food to last until Ares IV, or send Hermes back to get him right now.
Vincent Kapoor: Both plans require the use of the Taiyang Shen. So we have to choose.
Movie: The Martian