The Mentalist Quotes
Kendall Cho: Look, a goat. Goats are signs of Satan.
Teresa Lisbon: So petting zoos are like gateways to Hell?
Kendall Cho: Pretty much.
Teresa Lisbon: So petting zoos are like gateways to Hell?
Kendall Cho: Pretty much.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Kimball Cho: Are you aware that on the night of her murder your wife was meeting a lover?
Keith Wolcutt: Yes. The local authorities told me they had suspected as much.
Kimball Cho: Did you know she had a lover, prior to the other night?
Keith Wolcutt: No. Do you have a name... is he a suspect?
Kimball Cho: We have a name. He's not a suspect.
Keith Wolcutt: Who is he?
Kimball Cho: I'm not at liberty to say.
Keith Wolcutt: I want his name.
Kimball Cho: You can't have it.
Keith Wolcutt: Are you sure, Agent Cho? Because I can make one phone call and your career is toast.
Kimball Cho: That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.
Keith Wolcutt: Yes. The local authorities told me they had suspected as much.
Kimball Cho: Did you know she had a lover, prior to the other night?
Keith Wolcutt: No. Do you have a name... is he a suspect?
Kimball Cho: We have a name. He's not a suspect.
Keith Wolcutt: Who is he?
Kimball Cho: I'm not at liberty to say.
Keith Wolcutt: I want his name.
Kimball Cho: You can't have it.
Keith Wolcutt: Are you sure, Agent Cho? Because I can make one phone call and your career is toast.
Kimball Cho: That's impressive. The best I can get with one call is a pizza.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Patrick Jane: Uh, no. No suggestion in the world can make you do something against your moral character, against your true will. A hypnotized saint is still a saint. Not that he's a saint.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Patrick Jane: I showed you my identification to discourage you from killing me or torturing me or something. You might not get arrested for it, but you sure will make some kind of fuss.
Shirali Arlov: I don't mind fuss. Anything to avoid boredom.
Shirali Arlov: I don't mind fuss. Anything to avoid boredom.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Patrick Jane: We've never discussed this before, because I thought it went without saying. But when I catch Red John, I'm going to cut him open and then watch him die slowly, like he did with my wife and child. And if you have a problem with that, we should talk.
Teresa Lisbon: Then let's talk. Because when *we* catch Red John, we are going to take him into custody and he's going to be tried in a Court of Law.
Patrick Jane: Not if I'm still breathing.
Teresa Lisbon: If you try and do violence to him, I will try and stop you. If you succeed in doing violence to him, I will arrest you.
Patrick Jane: I understand.
Teresa Lisbon: I hope so.
Teresa Lisbon: Then let's talk. Because when *we* catch Red John, we are going to take him into custody and he's going to be tried in a Court of Law.
Patrick Jane: Not if I'm still breathing.
Teresa Lisbon: If you try and do violence to him, I will try and stop you. If you succeed in doing violence to him, I will arrest you.
Patrick Jane: I understand.
Teresa Lisbon: I hope so.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Teresa Lisbon: You seen Jane?
Kimball Cho: Yeah. He's upstairs. Vander Hoeck took him there to see Celia's room.
Teresa Lisbon: Is he okay?
Kimball Cho: I guess. Why?
Teresa Lisbon: Nothing. Stiles just seems to get to him a little bit.
Kimball Cho: That's a nice trick.
Teresa Lisbon: Yeah, I wish he'd teach it to me.
Kimball Cho: Yeah. He's upstairs. Vander Hoeck took him there to see Celia's room.
Teresa Lisbon: Is he okay?
Kimball Cho: I guess. Why?
Teresa Lisbon: Nothing. Stiles just seems to get to him a little bit.
Kimball Cho: That's a nice trick.
Teresa Lisbon: Yeah, I wish he'd teach it to me.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: [on the phone with Jane] Hey. So, you might be right about this case. Might be. Thanks for the insight...no, did I say that? I'm acknowledging the fact that you might be right, that's all. I mean, if you wanted to come back, I couldn't stop you...yeah, fine, I'm asking you to come back...because...because you're useful to the team...no. No, I won't say "please". Go screw yourself. [Lisbon hangs up] Jackass.
[Jane walkes into the room]
[Jane walkes into the room]
TV Show: The Mentalist
Dr. Linus Wagner: Why is it you can't sleep?
Jane: Because I can't get the good pills without talking to a doctor.
Dr. Linus Wagner: You don't like talking to a doctor?
Jane: They always want to be the smartest person in the room, don't they? When in fact, that's me, obviously.
Jane: Because I can't get the good pills without talking to a doctor.
Dr. Linus Wagner: You don't like talking to a doctor?
Jane: They always want to be the smartest person in the room, don't they? When in fact, that's me, obviously.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: Be reasonable. This is my case.
Lisbon: Your case?
Jane: Red John's mine.
Lisbon: Red John doesn't belong to anyone.
[Long pause, everybody except Lisbon and Jane go into the house]
Jane: He belongs to me.
Lisbon: Your case?
Jane: Red John's mine.
Lisbon: Red John doesn't belong to anyone.
[Long pause, everybody except Lisbon and Jane go into the house]
Jane: He belongs to me.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Reading note slid under Jane's hotel room door]
Red John's Note: Greetings old friend, it's been a while. I hope you are keeping well. I am thriving and happy. I have 12 wives now and will soon begin courting number 13. Why can't you catch me? You must feel so powerless and stupid and sad. Oh well. All the best. Red John.
Red John's Note: Greetings old friend, it's been a while. I hope you are keeping well. I am thriving and happy. I have 12 wives now and will soon begin courting number 13. Why can't you catch me? You must feel so powerless and stupid and sad. Oh well. All the best. Red John.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: Mr. Jane, I have a question regarding your previous career path.
Jane: Fire away.
Grace: When you met with other psychics, real psychics, could they tell you were just pretending?
Jane: There's no such thing as real psychics.
Grace: I beg to differ. My cousin Yolanda is a psychic.
Jane: Your cousin is deluded or dishonest or both.
Rigsby: Hey, steady.
Grace: No, no, he's entitled to his opinion. He's wrong, though. She has power. She can communicate with the other side. I've seen her do it myself.
Jane: She let you speak with someone that's gone, someone that you love and still miss very much. You wanted her power to be real so it was.
Rigsby: You're so sure you're right. Science doesn't know everything.
Grace: Five hundred years ago, radio would have seemed like magic. Five hundred years in the future, it could be totally normal to communicate with the other side.
Jane: The other side?...There is no other side…
Jane: Fire away.
Grace: When you met with other psychics, real psychics, could they tell you were just pretending?
Jane: There's no such thing as real psychics.
Grace: I beg to differ. My cousin Yolanda is a psychic.
Jane: Your cousin is deluded or dishonest or both.
Rigsby: Hey, steady.
Grace: No, no, he's entitled to his opinion. He's wrong, though. She has power. She can communicate with the other side. I've seen her do it myself.
Jane: She let you speak with someone that's gone, someone that you love and still miss very much. You wanted her power to be real so it was.
Rigsby: You're so sure you're right. Science doesn't know everything.
Grace: Five hundred years ago, radio would have seemed like magic. Five hundred years in the future, it could be totally normal to communicate with the other side.
Jane: The other side?...There is no other side…
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Jane discusses Red John on a television show and returns home that evening, five years ago, and finds a note]
Red John's Note: Dear mister Jane, I don't like to be slandered in the media, especially by a dirty money-grubbing fraud. If you were a real psychic, instead of a dishonest little worm, you wouldn't need to open the door to see what I've done to your lovely wife and child.
[Jane opens the door to find a red smiling face painted on the wall....]
Red John's Note: Dear mister Jane, I don't like to be slandered in the media, especially by a dirty money-grubbing fraud. If you were a real psychic, instead of a dishonest little worm, you wouldn't need to open the door to see what I've done to your lovely wife and child.
[Jane opens the door to find a red smiling face painted on the wall....]
TV Show: The Mentalist
Mrs. Tolliver: I don't understand. You're psychic?
Jane: No, just paying attention. I used to make a good living pretending to be a psychic. I tell you this because I want you to understand there's no point hiding things from me.
Jane: No, just paying attention. I used to make a good living pretending to be a psychic. I tell you this because I want you to understand there's no point hiding things from me.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Jane moves a straw across the table without touching it]
Grace: How do you do that?
Jane: Telekinesis.
Cho: He blew on it.
Jane: That is another way to do it.
Grace: How do you do that?
Jane: Telekinesis.
Cho: He blew on it.
Jane: That is another way to do it.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[To Price Randolph about his brother, Tag]
Cho: Mister Randolph - rest assured, there is no reason to persecute you. We scumbags are holding your brother because we have physical evidence linking him to the crime and potential motive in that he states that whenever you weren't around, he was banging your wife like a big bass drum.
Cho: Mister Randolph - rest assured, there is no reason to persecute you. We scumbags are holding your brother because we have physical evidence linking him to the crime and potential motive in that he states that whenever you weren't around, he was banging your wife like a big bass drum.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Lisbon walks in just after a wife shoots her husband for murdering their daughter while Jane was alone with them]
Jane: Honestly, it's not as bad as it looks.
Jane: Honestly, it's not as bad as it looks.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Accusing a father of a murdering his daughter]
Jane: An innocent man would've punched me by now.
Jane: An innocent man would've punched me by now.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Lisbon: If it wasn't him, then who was it? And if you say a man who likes red hair and silver duct tape, I'll scream.
Patrick: I don't want you to scream.
Patrick: I don't want you to scream.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: I made a booking for two for this afternoon. Could you put us on the terrace? It's more romantic. Thanks... Yeah, Patrick... Lovely. See you then. [To Lisbon] Don't fret, I wouldn't seduce you over a meal. That'd be very sophomoric.
Lisbon: I didn't think you were trying to seduce me.
Jane: Come on, how could that thought not have entered your head?
[Lisbon stares speechlessly at Jane]
Jane: Your denial that it did intrigues me.
Lisbon: Bite me.
Lisbon: I didn't think you were trying to seduce me.
Jane: Come on, how could that thought not have entered your head?
[Lisbon stares speechlessly at Jane]
Jane: Your denial that it did intrigues me.
Lisbon: Bite me.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about Raquel]
Lisbon: That was funny, the way she gave him up so easily like that?
Jane: Yeah, it was. But you were right, huh? Secret lover. Guess I was wrong about the whole red-hair-and-duct-tape thing.
Lisbon: You hypnotized her, didn't you?
Jane: I certainly did not. [Lisbon just stares at him] Okay, no. Yes, I did hypnotize her, but--
Lisbon: But nothing. It's unprofessional and it's illegal. It's totally out of bounds.
Cho: That's what I told him.
Jane: I was gonna say you had nothing to do with it, but hey.
Lisbon: [Cho]if you allow him to pull that stuff again, and you'll be showing visitors around the statehouse in a stupid hat.
Lisbon: That was funny, the way she gave him up so easily like that?
Jane: Yeah, it was. But you were right, huh? Secret lover. Guess I was wrong about the whole red-hair-and-duct-tape thing.
Lisbon: You hypnotized her, didn't you?
Jane: I certainly did not. [Lisbon just stares at him] Okay, no. Yes, I did hypnotize her, but--
Lisbon: But nothing. It's unprofessional and it's illegal. It's totally out of bounds.
Cho: That's what I told him.
Jane: I was gonna say you had nothing to do with it, but hey.
Lisbon: [Cho]if you allow him to pull that stuff again, and you'll be showing visitors around the statehouse in a stupid hat.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[staring into Raquel's eyes]
Jane: Raquel, look at me. Before you fall asleep tonight while you're lying in your bed relaxing and slowly drifting off into sleep... I want you to think of me. Think of me and imagine that you can fly. Imagine that you're weightless. You can float gently into the air if you want to. Safe, and calm, and serene. You can fly away and leave all your burdens and worries and fears behind you. [pauses] Imagine that. What a nice feeling it is. Next time you see me, [taps Raquel gently on the knee] when I say hello you'll remember that good feeling and you will want to tell me the truth. Because when you do tell the truth, you feel that a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I'll say hello and you will feel as light as a feather... as if you are floating on air. [leans back with a smile on face] Why don't you sit here a moment and think about that before you go back to work?
Raquel: Whatever. [turns to Cho] Your friend's crazy. Can I go now?
Cho: Yes.
Jane: [looking at Cho] It worked on the chicken.
Jane: Raquel, look at me. Before you fall asleep tonight while you're lying in your bed relaxing and slowly drifting off into sleep... I want you to think of me. Think of me and imagine that you can fly. Imagine that you're weightless. You can float gently into the air if you want to. Safe, and calm, and serene. You can fly away and leave all your burdens and worries and fears behind you. [pauses] Imagine that. What a nice feeling it is. Next time you see me, [taps Raquel gently on the knee] when I say hello you'll remember that good feeling and you will want to tell me the truth. Because when you do tell the truth, you feel that a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I'll say hello and you will feel as light as a feather... as if you are floating on air. [leans back with a smile on face] Why don't you sit here a moment and think about that before you go back to work?
Raquel: Whatever. [turns to Cho] Your friend's crazy. Can I go now?
Cho: Yes.
Jane: [looking at Cho] It worked on the chicken.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[After Jane's plan to lure in the suspect has gone awry]
Lisbon: Everything's funny.
Jane: Well, if you try. I mean, come on. That was pretty funny. Strange though. I was sure the Chef would bite. I mean, there's still a chance he could show up.
Lisbon: The chef? Malcolm? Why do you think it's him?
Jane: He uses way too much butter.
Lisbon: Say--?
Jane: He's a gluttonous baby. He's self indulgent. He wants what he wants and takes it.
Lisbon: Too much butter.
Jane: Yeah.
Lisbon: It's fascinating, the way your mind works.
Lisbon: Everything's funny.
Jane: Well, if you try. I mean, come on. That was pretty funny. Strange though. I was sure the Chef would bite. I mean, there's still a chance he could show up.
Lisbon: The chef? Malcolm? Why do you think it's him?
Jane: He uses way too much butter.
Lisbon: Say--?
Jane: He's a gluttonous baby. He's self indulgent. He wants what he wants and takes it.
Lisbon: Too much butter.
Jane: Yeah.
Lisbon: It's fascinating, the way your mind works.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: I've a daughter that would be about your age if I hadn't caused her death... her and her mother.
Frankie O'Keefe: How?
Jane: Out of arrogance... stupidity. I made an evil man very angry and he killed them to teach me a lesson. To make me sorry for what I've done... and I am sorry. Being sorry is far worse punishment than being dead, everybody dies... very few people ever feel truly sorry for the bad things they've done.
Frankie O'Keefe: How?
Jane: Out of arrogance... stupidity. I made an evil man very angry and he killed them to teach me a lesson. To make me sorry for what I've done... and I am sorry. Being sorry is far worse punishment than being dead, everybody dies... very few people ever feel truly sorry for the bad things they've done.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: No such thing as psychic powers.
Sheriff McAllister: So what is it you do exactly?
Jane: You know rock paper scissors?
Sheriff McAllister: I do.
Jane: Play me. On three; one, two, three.
[Jane wins six consecutive games]
Sheriff McAllister: So what is it you do exactly?
Jane: You know rock paper scissors?
Sheriff McAllister: I do.
Jane: Play me. On three; one, two, three.
[Jane wins six consecutive games]
TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: I don't get it. She actually enjoyed helping him kill. One crazy, evil person I understand, but two? Husband and wife? Marriage is suppose to be a sacred, loving thing.
Jane: Yeah, they were soulmates in their strange own way.
Jane: Yeah, they were soulmates in their strange own way.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[talking about the relationship between Melanie and Hector]
Hector Ramirez: What we had... was special.
Jane: You made her feel like a captured princess instead of a small town choir nerd. And she made you feel like a dashing pirate instead of what you are... sort of a bad-tempered pharmacist.
Hector Ramirez: What we had... was special.
Jane: You made her feel like a captured princess instead of a small town choir nerd. And she made you feel like a dashing pirate instead of what you are... sort of a bad-tempered pharmacist.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Grace: It's gotta be tough.
Lisbon: What?
Grace: I mean, a drunk driver. Isn't that what happened to your mother? [Lisbon stares at her] Sorry. It's not my business.
Lisbon: We don't discuss our personal lives in this unit. It's not useful and it's not professional.
Lisbon: What?
Grace: I mean, a drunk driver. Isn't that what happened to your mother? [Lisbon stares at her] Sorry. It's not my business.
Lisbon: We don't discuss our personal lives in this unit. It's not useful and it's not professional.
TV Show: The Mentalist
Jane: You want symbolic? You're a hawk and Christine was a rabbit.
Hope: What does that even mean?
Jane: Bird of prey, rabbit. You tell me.
Hope: What does that even mean?
Jane: Bird of prey, rabbit. You tell me.
TV Show: The Mentalist
[Talking about Dane Kurtik]
Jane: He's not gonna confess.
Lisbon: What'd you think, he'd break under the bad lighting conditions?
Jane: He's not gonna confess.
Lisbon: What'd you think, he'd break under the bad lighting conditions?
TV Show: The Mentalist