The Nanny Quotes
Fran: Aw, thanks, Peppy.
Pepe: No, it's Pe-PAY, okay?
Fran: Let me guess. Arnold, right?
Pepe: No, Bernie.
Pepe: No, it's Pe-PAY, okay?
Fran: Let me guess. Arnold, right?
Pepe: No, Bernie.
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Fran: I'm gonna be canned for sure.
Niles: Ms. Fine, you spend so much time up this creek, I should think by now you'd have bought a paddle.
Niles: Ms. Fine, you spend so much time up this creek, I should think by now you'd have bought a paddle.
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Fran: Maggie has to learn to handle 14-year-old boys so that when she grows up, she can know how to handle full grown men who, when you think about it, are a lot like 14-year-old boys.
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Brighton: Remember, Fran, afterwards, you can have all the ice-cream you want.
Fran: Swell. If I live, I'll be hippy.
Fran: Swell. If I live, I'll be hippy.
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Sylvia: It's the worst blizzard in 30 years.
Fran: Oh God! Did Kathie Lee come into the studio?
Sylvia: No.
Fran: It's bad.
Fran: Oh God! Did Kathie Lee come into the studio?
Sylvia: No.
Fran: It's bad.
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[About Kenny]
C. C.: For all we know, he could be a member of a gang.
Fran: What gang? The 'Oys In The Hood?
C. C.: For all we know, he could be a member of a gang.
Fran: What gang? The 'Oys In The Hood?
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Jocelyn: Maxwell, you described [Fran]'s laugh all wrong in your letter. It's nothing like the QE 2 adrift in a fog.
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Fran: Brighton, don't be greedy. God will punish you.
C. C.: [Enters] Good evening, everyone.
Fran: See?
C. C.: [Enters] Good evening, everyone.
Fran: See?
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Fran: Too bad we didn't have this conversation in the garden. The plants would have loved the fertilizer.
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Mr. Sheffield: Ms. Fine, don't you have something you want to say to Mr. Bradley and his son?
Fran: Yeah, but then I'd have something else to apologize for.
Fran: Yeah, but then I'd have something else to apologize for.
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Val: That sales clerk was SO rude!
Fran: I know! You ask to try on 20 pairs of shoes and right away they get an attitude.
Fran: I know! You ask to try on 20 pairs of shoes and right away they get an attitude.
TV Show: The Nanny
[Coming up with an excuse to get Maggie out of gym class]
Grace: How about severe depression brought on by feelings of inadequacy and fear of death?
Fran: Gracie, where do you come up with these things?
Grace: Usually during hopscotch.
Grace: How about severe depression brought on by feelings of inadequacy and fear of death?
Fran: Gracie, where do you come up with these things?
Grace: Usually during hopscotch.
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Fran: It's like my mother always says—
Niles: "You can freeze anything"?
Fran: No.
Mr. Sheffield: "Why buy Sweet'N Low when restaurants are giving it away"?
Fran: No.
Mr. Sheffield: "Seven cans of tuna fish count as one in the express line"?
Fran: No. My mother always said: "Blood is thicker than water. And you can wash them both off of plastic slip covers".
Niles: "You can freeze anything"?
Fran: No.
Mr. Sheffield: "Why buy Sweet'N Low when restaurants are giving it away"?
Fran: No.
Mr. Sheffield: "Seven cans of tuna fish count as one in the express line"?
Fran: No. My mother always said: "Blood is thicker than water. And you can wash them both off of plastic slip covers".
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Fran: Mr. Sheffield, can I talk to you for just one minute?
Mr. Sheffield: I doubt it.
Mr. Sheffield: I doubt it.
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Mr. Sheffield: So would you like me to be there when you tell the children?
Fran: Oh Do we have to tell the children?
Mr. Sheffield: I think they'll notice you're missing.
Fran: Can't you just tell them I'm taking a bath?
Mr. Sheffield: Ms. Fine, you'll be gone forever.
Fran: Tell them I'm putting on my makeup.
Fran: Oh Do we have to tell the children?
Mr. Sheffield: I think they'll notice you're missing.
Fran: Can't you just tell them I'm taking a bath?
Mr. Sheffield: Ms. Fine, you'll be gone forever.
Fran: Tell them I'm putting on my makeup.
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C. C.: Hey, kids, you know when I'm down in the dumps, what cheers me up?
Fran: A fifth of scotch and a fresh pack of batteries?
Fran: A fifth of scotch and a fresh pack of batteries?
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Fran: Hi. I'm Fran and this is Gracie.
Bobbi: [One of the contestants] I'm Bobbi Jo and this is my daughter Betty Jo.
Fran: How are things in Petticoat Junction? [They share polite laughter]
Bobbi: So is this your first beauty pageant?
Fran: Hardly. Yours?
Bobbi: Oh, 'fraid not. Ms. Sun Svelte 1982.
Fran: '83 Ms. Manny, Moe & Jack.
Bobbi: '84 Ms. Leon County.
Fran: '85 Ms. Union Turnpike.
Bobbi: '87 finalist, Ms. Universe.
Fran: Oh. Nothing in '86, huh?
Bobbi: [One of the contestants] I'm Bobbi Jo and this is my daughter Betty Jo.
Fran: How are things in Petticoat Junction? [They share polite laughter]
Bobbi: So is this your first beauty pageant?
Fran: Hardly. Yours?
Bobbi: Oh, 'fraid not. Ms. Sun Svelte 1982.
Fran: '83 Ms. Manny, Moe & Jack.
Bobbi: '84 Ms. Leon County.
Fran: '85 Ms. Union Turnpike.
Bobbi: '87 finalist, Ms. Universe.
Fran: Oh. Nothing in '86, huh?
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Mr. Sheffield: I don't know how C.C. can be so insensitive.
Niles: Oh, sir, the woman would invite the Clintons to go whitewater rafting.
Niles: Oh, sir, the woman would invite the Clintons to go whitewater rafting.
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Mr. Sheffield: First day of school already, huh? Summer just flew by.
Fran: Spoken by a man who did not see The Lion King 257 times.
Fran: Spoken by a man who did not see The Lion King 257 times.
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Fran: Honey, you're talking to a woman whose underpants fell off in Bloomingdales.
Brighton: What did you do?
Fran: I kicked 'em down to the Lancome counter and kept on walking.
Brighton: What did you do?
Fran: I kicked 'em down to the Lancome counter and kept on walking.
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Brighton: Did you know that if you squeeze coal really hard it turns into a diamond?
Fran: Not true. One summer, me and Val went through a whole bag of Kingsford briquettes trying for earrings.
Brighton: No luck, huh?
Fran: No way, but to this day, I got a handshake like Lou Ferrigno.
Fran: Not true. One summer, me and Val went through a whole bag of Kingsford briquettes trying for earrings.
Brighton: No luck, huh?
Fran: No way, but to this day, I got a handshake like Lou Ferrigno.
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Fran: In my house, the fight ain't over until the fat lady grabs the Ginsu and says: "Here, cut my heart out."
Niles: We never say a cross word in our family. We just die very early from colon disorders.
Niles: We never say a cross word in our family. We just die very early from colon disorders.
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Yetta: Frannie, I know it's none of my business but it might help your marriage if you got rid of that blond your husband's always hanging around with. I don't know if you noticed but your kids are blond.
Fran: They're not my kids. He's not my husband. Oy, she couldn't have spaced out with Mr. Sheffield. No! With him, she could recall things from the womb.
Yetta: All I'm saying is that a blond like that with big shoulder pads dragged off your grandfather.
Fran: That was a Cossack!
Fran: They're not my kids. He's not my husband. Oy, she couldn't have spaced out with Mr. Sheffield. No! With him, she could recall things from the womb.
Yetta: All I'm saying is that a blond like that with big shoulder pads dragged off your grandfather.
Fran: That was a Cossack!
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Fran: (to Yetta) What are you thinking?! This is the Sheffield's house! No one ever has sex here!
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Maxwell: Please Miss Fine, I'm just not in the mood.
Fran: Gee, no man has ever said that to me before. Although, I'm sure Lisa Marie is getting an earful of it.
Fran: Gee, no man has ever said that to me before. Although, I'm sure Lisa Marie is getting an earful of it.
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Yetta: (commenting on Brighton and Grace) These kids. They got nothing from you!
Sylvia: Mom, these aren't Fran's children. Fran doesn't have any children. She's not married. SHE'S ALL ALONE!!!
Fran: Louder, Ma. I don't think they heard you IN URUGUAY!!!
Sylvia: Mom, these aren't Fran's children. Fran doesn't have any children. She's not married. SHE'S ALL ALONE!!!
Fran: Louder, Ma. I don't think they heard you IN URUGUAY!!!
TV Show: The Nanny