The Nanny Quotes
Niles: [beating the press back with his umbrella] Back! BACK, you journalistic spawn of Satan! [The press clears a path] Thank you very much and have a nice day. [to Mr. Sheffield] One must be firm but never rude.
TV Show: The Nanny
Maxwell: (to Fran) I was just thinking, before you came into my life I never had the need for an emergency transvestite.
TV Show: The Nanny
Maxwell: So what brings you here, Miss Fine?
Fran: Oh, nothing.
Maxwell: Children are doing well?
Fran: Uh huh.
Maxwell: Household running okay?
Fran: Oh yeah.
Maxwell: Anything on fire?
Fran: No, no.
Maxwell: Then get out!
Fran: Oh, nothing.
Maxwell: Children are doing well?
Fran: Uh huh.
Maxwell: Household running okay?
Fran: Oh yeah.
Maxwell: Anything on fire?
Fran: No, no.
Maxwell: Then get out!
TV Show: The Nanny
Brighton: All the bird will say is "Raymond loves Lola."
Niles: And it deserves to die for that?
Brighton: Niles, Raymond is Joey's dad, and Lola is the upstairs maid.
Niles: Ah.
Fran: They were probably bouncing more than quarters on those sheets!
Niles: And it deserves to die for that?
Brighton: Niles, Raymond is Joey's dad, and Lola is the upstairs maid.
Niles: Ah.
Fran: They were probably bouncing more than quarters on those sheets!
TV Show: The Nanny
Niles: (when Brighton bring a parrot) There was the fish, the hamster, the guinea pig, our backyard looks like a pet Boot Hill!
Fran: But the roses were gorgeous this year!
Fran: But the roses were gorgeous this year!
TV Show: The Nanny
Brighton: (to the parrot) Maggie stuffs her bra. Maggie stuffs her bra.
Niles: Master Brighton, stop torturing that bird. It's very cruel.
Brighton: I think he's having a better day than that cornish hen you've got your thumbs in. (leaves)
Niles: (to the parrot) Let's pick up where we we left off. Miss Babcock's embezzling.
Niles: Master Brighton, stop torturing that bird. It's very cruel.
Brighton: I think he's having a better day than that cornish hen you've got your thumbs in. (leaves)
Niles: (to the parrot) Let's pick up where we we left off. Miss Babcock's embezzling.
TV Show: The Nanny
Maxwell [when Fran's cousin Ira is dressed up as Cher]: Where is the last place he passed for Cher? SeaWorld?
TV Show: The Nanny
Mr. Sheffield: Niles, get that hideous thing off the terrace, would you?
Niles: [To C.C.] Mr. Sheffield wants you to get off the terrace.
Niles: [To C.C.] Mr. Sheffield wants you to get off the terrace.
TV Show: The Nanny
Erik: Don't you have a big reunion tomorrow night?
Fran: [Swooning] Yeah...
Erik: Well, I'm the hombre who's taking you.
Fran: Oh, my God! This is amazing! This is like a dream! How could this be?
Grace: We told him how desperate you were.
Fran: [Still ecstatic] Oh, THANK YOU!!
Fran: [Swooning] Yeah...
Erik: Well, I'm the hombre who's taking you.
Fran: Oh, my God! This is amazing! This is like a dream! How could this be?
Grace: We told him how desperate you were.
Fran: [Still ecstatic] Oh, THANK YOU!!
TV Show: The Nanny
Mr. Sheffield: So, Ms. Fine, back from the batting cages. How did my boy do?
Fran: Well... He made contact with the ball. And, er, he'll have a great career if the Bee Gees ever get back together.
Fran: Well... He made contact with the ball. And, er, he'll have a great career if the Bee Gees ever get back together.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: I can't wait to hit the buffet tables in Atlantic City. He's got a safari jacket with 40 pockets in it. We won't have to order room service.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: Honey, to you, Brighton's an obnoxious brother. But to other little girls, he's 79 pounds of pure stud muffin.
Grace: Ew!
Grace: Ew!
TV Show: The Nanny
C. C.: Niles, pour me some more tea.
[She places her empty mug on the counter. Niles ignores her and continues chopping vegetables]
C.C.: I want some more tea, Niles. [Niles continues to ignore her.] You are a butler, now buttle!
[Maxwell enters the kitchen. C.C. doesn't notice, but Niles does.]
Niles: Would you like some tea, Miss Babcock?
C.C.: You know damn well I want some more tea, you imbecile, now pour!!
Mr. Sheffield: C.C.!
C.C.: Maxwell!
Mr. Sheffield: Don't speak to Niles like that; poor man isn't a mind-reader!
C.C.: But... But, Maxwell—!
Niles: [pitifully] Oh, it's alright, sir. Perhaps my hearing isn't what it once was. Forgive me.
[She places her empty mug on the counter. Niles ignores her and continues chopping vegetables]
C.C.: I want some more tea, Niles. [Niles continues to ignore her.] You are a butler, now buttle!
[Maxwell enters the kitchen. C.C. doesn't notice, but Niles does.]
Niles: Would you like some tea, Miss Babcock?
C.C.: You know damn well I want some more tea, you imbecile, now pour!!
Mr. Sheffield: C.C.!
C.C.: Maxwell!
Mr. Sheffield: Don't speak to Niles like that; poor man isn't a mind-reader!
C.C.: But... But, Maxwell—!
Niles: [pitifully] Oh, it's alright, sir. Perhaps my hearing isn't what it once was. Forgive me.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: Mr. Sheffield, the only thing that Andrew Lloyd Webber has that you don't is a middle name.
Mr. Sheffield: I've got a middle name.
Fran: Well, there you are! What is it?
Mr. Sheffield: Beverly.
Fran: Moving on.
Mr. Sheffield: I've got a middle name.
Fran: Well, there you are! What is it?
Mr. Sheffield: Beverly.
Fran: Moving on.
TV Show: The Nanny
Yetta: Dak and I are a match made in heaven. I like dog meat, he likes rye. I can hear the movie, he can see it. I've got a right lung, he's got a left... Thank you for introducing us. Most guys my age are senile. [exits] I'll be in the gift shop.
TV Show: The Nanny
Niles: Oh dear. That was the last apple.
Mr. Sheffield: Oh, I'm sorry, old man. Did you want it?
Niles: Well, yes, sir, but I didn't realize I wanted it until someone else had sunk his teeth into it and now it's too late. It was right there in front of me. If only I snatched it up when I had the chance, I wouldn't have this aching hunger.
Mr. Sheffield: Good God, man, have a bloody pear!
. . .
Niles: Oh dear. That was the last pear.
Fran: Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want it?
Niles: Well, yes, but I didn't realize I wanted it until someone else had sunk his teeth into it.
Fran: You snooze, you lose.
Mr. Sheffield: Oh, I'm sorry, old man. Did you want it?
Niles: Well, yes, sir, but I didn't realize I wanted it until someone else had sunk his teeth into it and now it's too late. It was right there in front of me. If only I snatched it up when I had the chance, I wouldn't have this aching hunger.
Mr. Sheffield: Good God, man, have a bloody pear!
. . .
Niles: Oh dear. That was the last pear.
Fran: Oh, I'm sorry. Did you want it?
Niles: Well, yes, but I didn't realize I wanted it until someone else had sunk his teeth into it.
Fran: You snooze, you lose.
TV Show: The Nanny
Kurt: Listen, I haven't seen this soap in seven months. Catch me up.
Fran: Well, they're still at Erica's party...
Fran: Well, they're still at Erica's party...
TV Show: The Nanny
[Lamb Chop freaks out when C.C. walks in wearing a wool coat]
C. C.: What did I do?!!
Fran: Ms. Babcock, your coat. New Zealand Lamb?
C.C.: So?
Fran: Maybe she had people there?!
Mr. Sheffield: Take. It. Off.
Niles: Three words she doesn't hear often. [high-fives Lamb Chop]
C.C.: Niles, isn't that sweet? You're bonding with the sheep. Not the first one, I'm sure.
Niles: Bravo. You win. Every dog has her day.
C. C.: What did I do?!!
Fran: Ms. Babcock, your coat. New Zealand Lamb?
C.C.: So?
Fran: Maybe she had people there?!
Mr. Sheffield: Take. It. Off.
Niles: Three words she doesn't hear often. [high-fives Lamb Chop]
C.C.: Niles, isn't that sweet? You're bonding with the sheep. Not the first one, I'm sure.
Niles: Bravo. You win. Every dog has her day.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: Well, I said it. I knew you'd find some way to blame it all on me.
Niles: [eavesdropping, from outside] Yes, she did, sir.
Fran: But I've got a plan.
Niles: Yes, she does, sir.
Fran: And as you know, my plans never fail.
[She waits for a response, and then elbows the door.]
Niles: [bursts into laughter]
Niles: [eavesdropping, from outside] Yes, she did, sir.
Fran: But I've got a plan.
Niles: Yes, she does, sir.
Fran: And as you know, my plans never fail.
[She waits for a response, and then elbows the door.]
Niles: [bursts into laughter]
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: Miss Lewis, I am so sorry!
Maxwell: Miss Fine, please, could you let Miss Lewis have a moment of silence... for the lamb?
Maxwell: Miss Fine, please, could you let Miss Lewis have a moment of silence... for the lamb?
TV Show: The Nanny
Val: I get to meet Lamb Chop? Fran, I promise I won't say anything stupid.
Fran: Too late, Val.
Fran: Too late, Val.
TV Show: The Nanny
C.C. : I have to move out of my apartment for a few days and I cannot find a kennel!
Niles: Ohhh, treat yourself to a hotel.
Niles: Ohhh, treat yourself to a hotel.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: I agree. When you see Brooke Shields dancing around in pedal pushers you know the end is near.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: Well, Maggie's gonna be a candy striper at Belmont Hospital. I got her a gig through this doctor I once broke up with.
Niles: You broke up with a doctor?
Fran: A very successful anesthesiologist. But when I went out with him, I didn't feel anything.
Mr. Sheffield: Ms. Fine, do you really think Margaret's responsible enough to be working in a hospital?
Fran: Oh, what's the worst that'll happen? She'll forget to bring someone their Jello snack?
Mr. Sheffield: [Pointing to a fish tank in the corner of the room] See that aquarium?
Fran: What aquarium? There're no fish in there.
Mr. Sheffield: Ah. Margaret forgot to bring them their Jello snacks.
Fran: Well, this is different. This job is gonna help build her character. She's gonna wake up every morning with a purpose to help people. To marry a doctor, to move to Great Neck, to drive a Caddy SDS with a North Star engine and make her Cousin Marsha so jealous... Oh. Sorry. I'm back.
Niles: You broke up with a doctor?
Fran: A very successful anesthesiologist. But when I went out with him, I didn't feel anything.
Mr. Sheffield: Ms. Fine, do you really think Margaret's responsible enough to be working in a hospital?
Fran: Oh, what's the worst that'll happen? She'll forget to bring someone their Jello snack?
Mr. Sheffield: [Pointing to a fish tank in the corner of the room] See that aquarium?
Fran: What aquarium? There're no fish in there.
Mr. Sheffield: Ah. Margaret forgot to bring them their Jello snacks.
Fran: Well, this is different. This job is gonna help build her character. She's gonna wake up every morning with a purpose to help people. To marry a doctor, to move to Great Neck, to drive a Caddy SDS with a North Star engine and make her Cousin Marsha so jealous... Oh. Sorry. I'm back.
TV Show: The Nanny
Maggie: Oh, c'mon, Fran! It's our eight week anniversary.
Fran: Eight? Already? What is that, lint?
Fran: Eight? Already? What is that, lint?
TV Show: The Nanny
Maggie: Why do I need to work, anyway? We're rich.
Maxwell: No, I'm rich. You won't be rich until I'm dead.
Maxwell: No, I'm rich. You won't be rich until I'm dead.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: Thank God I got a system.
Niles: No, you don't. I'm tapped.
Fran: Not you. I have to pay my American Express because if I buy a piece of gum, the S.WA.T. team will storm the building. Meanwhile, I paid my MasterCard with my Discover Card, my Discover card with my Optima Card, My Optima Card with my city trust Visa.
Niles: But doesn't that leave a very high dollars on your visa?
Fran: Exactly! And that's why they gave me an Expresso Machine which I sell to pay my American Express. Thank you!
Niles: No, you don't. I'm tapped.
Fran: Not you. I have to pay my American Express because if I buy a piece of gum, the S.WA.T. team will storm the building. Meanwhile, I paid my MasterCard with my Discover Card, my Discover card with my Optima Card, My Optima Card with my city trust Visa.
Niles: But doesn't that leave a very high dollars on your visa?
Fran: Exactly! And that's why they gave me an Expresso Machine which I sell to pay my American Express. Thank you!
TV Show: The Nanny
Maxwell: (about Maggie doing candy striping work) Do you really think Margaret's responsible enough to be working in a hospital?
Fran: Oh, what's the worst that'll happen? She'll forget to bring someone their Jello snack?
Maxwell: (pointing to a fish tank in the corner of the room) See that aquarium?
Fran: What aquarium? They are no fish in there.
Maxwell: Ah. Margaret forgot to bring them their Jello snacks.
Fran: Oh, what's the worst that'll happen? She'll forget to bring someone their Jello snack?
Maxwell: (pointing to a fish tank in the corner of the room) See that aquarium?
Fran: What aquarium? They are no fish in there.
Maxwell: Ah. Margaret forgot to bring them their Jello snacks.
TV Show: The Nanny