The Nanny Quotes
Maxwell [to Fran]: Margaret would rather go to a concert than go to Boston with her own family!
Fran: Who wouldn't!... want to go to Boston.
Fran: Who wouldn't!... want to go to Boston.
TV Show: The Nanny
Maggie: I have the whole house to myself. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. Fran, now I know why you stay single!
Fran: Yeah, that's it.
Fran: Yeah, that's it.
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Fran: No, Mr. Sheffield, this was my party.
Maxwell: Miss Fine, even the woman who put a bumper sticker on my car that says "Honk if you're a hunk" wouldn't be that stupid.
Fran: Don't make any rash judgments. You're dealing with one dumb gal!
Maxwell: Miss Fine, even the woman who put a bumper sticker on my car that says "Honk if you're a hunk" wouldn't be that stupid.
Fran: Don't make any rash judgments. You're dealing with one dumb gal!
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Fran: I'm a fabulous nanny and a? wonderful influence on the children. Oh! I gotta go. If a hooker named Sparkles calls tell her that I'm in court. Do you think this is cute enough for an arraignment? (leaves)
Maxwell: Niles, I'm beginning to think hiring a door-to-door cosmetics girl as a nanny was not my finest hour.
Niles: Although your skin has never looked more supple.
Maxwell: Niles, I'm beginning to think hiring a door-to-door cosmetics girl as a nanny was not my finest hour.
Niles: Although your skin has never looked more supple.
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Maxwell: Niles, Margaret is at a very impressionable age right now, and Miss Fine's behavior is hardly character-building.
Niles: That was certainly proven today. What 16-year-old in her right mind would give up the concert of her life to save a friend?
Niles: That was certainly proven today. What 16-year-old in her right mind would give up the concert of her life to save a friend?
TV Show: The Nanny
Jeff (to Fran): Uh, I don't know how to tell you this, but... I'm a police officer. (opens his jacket to show his badge) And you're under arrest.
Fran: (gasps) That was a pistol?!
Fran: (gasps) That was a pistol?!
TV Show: The Nanny
Niles: (to Maxwell referring to C.C.) Don't worry, sir. You'll be right near Salem. They know how to take care of her kind there.
TV Show: The Nanny
Maxwell: Miss Fine, what on earth possessed you? I specifically said "no parties"!
Fran: Well, technically, you told Maggie "no parties."
Maxwell: Don't you start with the semantics.
Fran: Ohhh. So now you're going to fire me because you're anti-semantic!
Fran: Well, technically, you told Maggie "no parties."
Maxwell: Don't you start with the semantics.
Fran: Ohhh. So now you're going to fire me because you're anti-semantic!
TV Show: The Nanny
Judge: Miss Fine? Do you have your attorney present?
Fran: Oh... my attorney present. Oh-oh... you know what, I'm not going to get him anything. Let's see how he does first.
Judge: (to the bailiff) Is this a competency hearing?
Fran: Oh... my attorney present. Oh-oh... you know what, I'm not going to get him anything. Let's see how he does first.
Judge: (to the bailiff) Is this a competency hearing?
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: (about Fran's uncle and lawyer) He's strictly pro bono.
Val: Really? Well I'm glad he's not representing me because I'm pro Cher.
Val: Really? Well I'm glad he's not representing me because I'm pro Cher.
TV Show: The Nanny
Uncle Manny: Hold it, hold it. I object, I object!
Judge: You object to what?
Uncle Manny: To those electric doors in the men's room.
Judge: That's the elevator.
Uncle Manny: Use the stairs.
Judge: You object to what?
Uncle Manny: To those electric doors in the men's room.
Judge: That's the elevator.
Uncle Manny: Use the stairs.
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Uncle Manny [to Fran]: Is that skirt a little snug?
Fran: Maybe just a little..
Uncle Manny: You hear that, your Honor? The skirt is snug. And if the skirt doesn't fit, you must acquit!
Fran: Maybe just a little..
Uncle Manny: You hear that, your Honor? The skirt is snug. And if the skirt doesn't fit, you must acquit!
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran [to Maxwell]: Why don't you just go sit down with the rest of the Dream Team?
TV Show: The Nanny
Judge: Miss Fine! Would you just like to plead?!
Fran: Yes, I would. (kneels before the judge and clasps her hands) Oh, please PLEASE don't take me to jail!
Fran: Yes, I would. (kneels before the judge and clasps her hands) Oh, please PLEASE don't take me to jail!
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: So I'm not fired?
Maxwell: No, but you acted like a bloody teenager, so you're grounded.
Fran: Grounded?! I am an adult woman! Why don't you just take me over your knee and spank me... oh, we're back to turn-on!
Maxwell: No, but you acted like a bloody teenager, so you're grounded.
Fran: Grounded?! I am an adult woman! Why don't you just take me over your knee and spank me... oh, we're back to turn-on!
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Fran: My God, Val, Mr. Sheffield proposed to me just to get even with his mother!
Val: Wow! ...Good thing she showed up, huh?
Fran: I can't marry someone under false pretences!
Val: You can't? Gee, you think you know a person.
Val: Wow! ...Good thing she showed up, huh?
Fran: I can't marry someone under false pretences!
Val: You can't? Gee, you think you know a person.
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Fran: You can return this. It was what I was going to wear on our honeymoon night.
Mr. Sheffield: Nothing in here but lip gloss.
Fran: [Smiling] Suffer.
Mr. Sheffield: Nothing in here but lip gloss.
Fran: [Smiling] Suffer.
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Fran: Niles, you ever think of having a kid of your own? Someone you can take care of, put to bed at night, rub Vicks on his little chest when he's sick?
Niles: I already have one. [Enter Mr. Sheffield] Isn't he adorable?
Niles: I already have one. [Enter Mr. Sheffield] Isn't he adorable?
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran: If you want to have a baby with me, Maxwell Sheffield, you're going to have to do it the old-fashioned way.
Mr. Sheffield: Marry you?
Fran: That too.
Mr. Sheffield: Marry you?
Fran: That too.
TV Show: The Nanny
Niles [to Maxwell]: What makes you think she meant you?
Maxwell: Come on man, she practically spelled it out. Handsome, intelligent, creative...
Niles: Did she mention cocky, vain, couldn't put the laundry in the hamper if his life depended on it?
Maxwell: No.
Niles: Then what are you worried about, sir?
Maxwell: Come on man, she practically spelled it out. Handsome, intelligent, creative...
Niles: Did she mention cocky, vain, couldn't put the laundry in the hamper if his life depended on it?
Maxwell: No.
Niles: Then what are you worried about, sir?
TV Show: The Nanny
Sylvia: (gasps) Oh my God! It's Monica Baker! I can't tell you how many people meet me on the street and swear that I am you!
Fran: Ma, that's Tammy Faye Baker.
Fran: Ma, that's Tammy Faye Baker.
TV Show: The Nanny
Fran (while looking through the sperm donor book): Look at number 64!
Val: But he's got a weight problem, gastrointestinal abnormalities, and a mother who is certifiably insane!
Fran: Right, well, I want him to fit in the family.
Val: But he's got a weight problem, gastrointestinal abnormalities, and a mother who is certifiably insane!
Fran: Right, well, I want him to fit in the family.
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Val: Fran, you know I'll support whatever you decide, but don't you think people would be a little shocked if you just showed up pregnant?
Fran: Yeah... they'd think I had a date.
Fran: Yeah... they'd think I had a date.
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Fran: Awww... everybody has a baby. Look! (shows Monica a picture) My ex-boyfriend Danny and his wife just had one. She's not breastfeeding, though. The kid's on a low-silicone diet.
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CC [to Niles]: Listen, Hazel (laughs) Don't you have anything to dust off?
Niles: How about the left side of your bed?
Niles: How about the left side of your bed?
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Fran: (looking at picture of her ex-boyfriend, Danny's newborn baby) Oh, I'm so jealous!
Niles: (grabs picture from Fran) Miss Fine, I can't see why this picture makes you yearn for a child. I could see a Lhasa Apso...
Niles: (grabs picture from Fran) Miss Fine, I can't see why this picture makes you yearn for a child. I could see a Lhasa Apso...
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Val: Now, you know Fran, this isn't gonna be easy. There's gonna be a lot of pain and suffering, and possible embarrassment!
Maggie: (walks up as Val is finished speaking) Oh, are you guys going to another singles bar?
Maggie: (walks up as Val is finished speaking) Oh, are you guys going to another singles bar?
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Niles: Miss Fine, you still have plenty of time to have children.
Fran: Meanwhile, there's an expiration date stamped on my eggs: "Best if used before you start looking like your mother."
Fran: Meanwhile, there's an expiration date stamped on my eggs: "Best if used before you start looking like your mother."
TV Show: The Nanny
Sylvia: Fran, you're probably wondering why I'm acting so strange.
Fran: Ma, you've been here for two seconds. You yelled, you ate. The only thing strange is that you haven't showed me a wedding announcement from a girl I went to high school with.
Sylvia: It's in my purse.
Fran: Ma, you've been here for two seconds. You yelled, you ate. The only thing strange is that you haven't showed me a wedding announcement from a girl I went to high school with.
Sylvia: It's in my purse.
TV Show: The Nanny