The Nanny Quotes
Fran: Mr. Sheffield is going through a mid-life crisis and I don't know how to pull him out of it.
Sylvia: Marry him.
Fran: How's that gonna help him?
Sylvia: Who cares? Better we should be happy.
Sylvia: Marry him.
Fran: How's that gonna help him?
Sylvia: Who cares? Better we should be happy.
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Fran: If God listened to my mother, I'd be living in a mansion with a handsome millionaire and gorgeous kids. (stares at the ceiling) She forgot to say "married"?!
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Lady: Shhh!
Sylvia: Calm down, it's in Hebrew. What, are you afraid you'll miss something?
Sylvia: Calm down, it's in Hebrew. What, are you afraid you'll miss something?
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Fran: Ooh, croy-sants!
Niles: [correcting her] Croissants. I never thought I'd say this to you but more nasal.
Niles: [correcting her] Croissants. I never thought I'd say this to you but more nasal.
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Sylvia: Someone wanted to marry you without even meeting your mother?
Fran: Gee, you know, I never made that connection before...
Fran: Gee, you know, I never made that connection before...
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Val: Having a kid is hard work. I wouldn't know where to begin.
Fran: How about getting a date?
Fran: How about getting a date?
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Niles: (to CC) You could have foreign men worship you too. Go to India. You'd be sacred.
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Fran: I'll tell you it's a good thing Mr. Sheffield put me in charge of this, cause I'm like a man. I will hire a tutor based solely on their academic credential.
Philippe: Bonjour.
Fran: You're hired.
Philippe: Bonjour.
Fran: You're hired.
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Fran: A tutor? That's not how you learn a foreign language. You gotta go to the country, emerse yourself in the culture...
Maxwell: Forget it, Miss Fine. You're not getting a trip to Paris.
Niles: I tried the same thing when I wanted to perfect my Swedish meatballs. He sent me to IKEA.
Maxwell: Forget it, Miss Fine. You're not getting a trip to Paris.
Niles: I tried the same thing when I wanted to perfect my Swedish meatballs. He sent me to IKEA.
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Grace [to Fran]: What you should give your mother is a grandchild before she dies.
Fran: How much she pay to say that?
Grace: Nothing. Not when I live in a beautiful mansion and still gots my health.
Fran: How much she pay to say that?
Grace: Nothing. Not when I live in a beautiful mansion and still gots my health.
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Captain: Welcome aboard the Century, ladies. I'm your captain.
Fran: [With Yetta hanging onto her] How do you do? I'm Fran Fine and this is my birth control device.
Yetta: You look so different without your blue uniform and your big handlebar moustache.
Fran: Yetta, that's Cap'n Crunch.
Yetta: I know who it is. That picture on the box must have been taken years ago.
Fran: [With Yetta hanging onto her] How do you do? I'm Fran Fine and this is my birth control device.
Yetta: You look so different without your blue uniform and your big handlebar moustache.
Fran: Yetta, that's Cap'n Crunch.
Yetta: I know who it is. That picture on the box must have been taken years ago.
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Mr. Sheffield: You can't trust him. He won't make you happy.
Fran: I don't want to be happy. I want to be married.
Fran: I don't want to be happy. I want to be married.
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Mr. Sheffield: I told mother no one should get a hold of their trust fund until they're at least 30 years old.
Brighton: 30?! I'm not gonna have a date 'til I'm 30!
Fran: Honey, at least when you turn 30, you'll be rich. When I turn 30, I'll be... 40.
Brighton: 30?! I'm not gonna have a date 'til I'm 30!
Fran: Honey, at least when you turn 30, you'll be rich. When I turn 30, I'll be... 40.
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Maggie: How much do you know about the Titanic?
Yetta: Top of the line! They had a midnight buffet on deck. And the ice sculpture—HUGE!
Yetta: Top of the line! They had a midnight buffet on deck. And the ice sculpture—HUGE!
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C. C.: Nanny Fine, don't be hurt just because I'm closer to little Gretel than you are.
Fran: Gretel never said that!
C.C.: Aren't we defensive? There's nothing wrong with being just a pretty face. In fact, it's a plus if you have no skills.
Fran: I've got skills!
C.C.: Nanny Fine, identifying what's in the Godivas without a guide is not a skill. C'mon! You must know the only reason you got this job is because of your looks.
Fran: Hey! Hey! That is not true! I got this job because I lied on my resume.
Fran: Gretel never said that!
C.C.: Aren't we defensive? There's nothing wrong with being just a pretty face. In fact, it's a plus if you have no skills.
Fran: I've got skills!
C.C.: Nanny Fine, identifying what's in the Godivas without a guide is not a skill. C'mon! You must know the only reason you got this job is because of your looks.
Fran: Hey! Hey! That is not true! I got this job because I lied on my resume.
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Fran: What is it with guys? Why do they always think just because you're at a singles bar with a cute top, a tight skirt and stiletto heels, you're looking for action?
Jack: Why do women think that guys expect them to jump into bed every time they try to buy them a drink? Now, potato skins, I get you both.
Fran: I don't think so.
Val: Speak for yourself. I haven't had a potato skin in three years.
Jack: Why do women think that guys expect them to jump into bed every time they try to buy them a drink? Now, potato skins, I get you both.
Fran: I don't think so.
Val: Speak for yourself. I haven't had a potato skin in three years.
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Fran: I was 17 once too. I snuck out all the time. Of course, I didn't have a boyfriend. I just wanted to eat bacon.
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Mr. Sheffield: Who told you to call the doctor?
Niles: Ms. Fine.
Mr. Sheffield: Well, excuse me but when did she become master of the house?
Niles: Three years ago September.
Niles: Ms. Fine.
Mr. Sheffield: Well, excuse me but when did she become master of the house?
Niles: Three years ago September.
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[At Loehmann's sale]
Shopper: Excuse me please. I had this sweater first.
Fran: I believe you're mistaken.
Shopper: I've got the cuff.
Fran: I've got the armpit.
Shopper: [Grabs Grace] I've got your kid.
Fran: Hah! She's not mine.
Shopper: Listen, I'm warning you. My nicotine patch fell off, my mother's in town and my boyfriend just left me for my brother.
Fran: [Points to Grace] I'm over 30, single, and I work for her!
Shopper: Excuse me please. I had this sweater first.
Fran: I believe you're mistaken.
Shopper: I've got the cuff.
Fran: I've got the armpit.
Shopper: [Grabs Grace] I've got your kid.
Fran: Hah! She's not mine.
Shopper: Listen, I'm warning you. My nicotine patch fell off, my mother's in town and my boyfriend just left me for my brother.
Fran: [Points to Grace] I'm over 30, single, and I work for her!
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Fran: Niles, I was thinking Mr. Sheffield was right. If I help Brighton with his project, it's only going to hurt him.
Niles: You've already gotten involved and screwed up?
Fran: Yeah.
Niles: You've already gotten involved and screwed up?
Fran: Yeah.
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Fran: Mr. Sheffield, I thought you said you hated cats.
Maxwell: No, no, I said I hate Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats.
Maxwell: No, no, I said I hate Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats.
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Niles: Ms. Fine and Ms. Babcock walking arm-in arm. Isn't that one of the Biblical signs of the Apocalypse?
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Mr. Sheffield: Ms. Fine, what are you doing here?
Fran: I heard moaning and screaming coming from your room and I figured I should be a part of it.
Fran: I heard moaning and screaming coming from your room and I figured I should be a part of it.
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Fran: I hope he knows he doesn't have forever because she's not gonna wait around like some schlub since she can't even spit in this town without hitting some eligible classy guy.
Mr. Sheffield: Good bloody luck to her catching one because men seldom date women who say the word "schlub" and rarely marry those who spit.
Mr. Sheffield: Good bloody luck to her catching one because men seldom date women who say the word "schlub" and rarely marry those who spit.
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Frieda: I'm gonna go upstairs and try on my old wedding gown. C'mon, kids, come help zip me up.
Brighton: I'll get the pliers.
Brighton: I'll get the pliers.
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Fran: Why don't you give your father a chance to make up for last time? I'm sure you'll find you've got a lot in common.
Mr. Sheffield: No. Unlike my father, I'm not about to abandon my responsibilities for sexual gratification with some cheap floozy who works for me.
Fran: WHY?!!
Mr. Sheffield: No. Unlike my father, I'm not about to abandon my responsibilities for sexual gratification with some cheap floozy who works for me.
Fran: WHY?!!
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Joan: Isn't this delightful? Where did you get the exquisite shrimp?
Yetta: I came with her.
Joan: No, dear. I meant the crustacean.
Yetta: Oh... She's my daughter.
Yetta: I came with her.
Joan: No, dear. I meant the crustacean.
Yetta: Oh... She's my daughter.
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C. C.: Chester loves the kennel. When I come to take him home, he just hangs on to the little bars for dear life.
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Mr. Sheffield: It's bad enough having your dog here. [Fran enters] Always begging to go out, jumping into my lap, rubbing up against me all the time...
Fran: SHHHHH! Does everybody need to know our business?
Fran: SHHHHH! Does everybody need to know our business?
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