The Rockford Files Quotes
Jim Rockford: This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
Sue Ellen: [Beeep] Mr. Rockford? Sue Ellen. Our class is having that crazy scavenger hunt I told you about. If you're wondering what happened to your trailer door, it's gonna win me first prize!
Sue Ellen: [Beeep] Mr. Rockford? Sue Ellen. Our class is having that crazy scavenger hunt I told you about. If you're wondering what happened to your trailer door, it's gonna win me first prize!
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Jim Rockford: I'm investigating the Kirkoff killings and I heard you were having an affair with Mrs. Kirkoff before she was killed.
Travis Buckman: Private cop, huh?
Jim Rockford: Look, you aren't gonna shoot anybody, we both know it, so why don't you put that thing away before you have an accident.
Travis Buckman: Who're you working for?
Jim Rockford: Well, that's confidential. [Buckman cocks his gun]
Jim Rockford: Larry Kirkoff.
Travis Buckman: Larry Kirkoff? What you are, hard up for work or something?
Jim Rockford: Can I have my pants, please?
Travis Buckman: Private cop, huh?
Jim Rockford: Look, you aren't gonna shoot anybody, we both know it, so why don't you put that thing away before you have an accident.
Travis Buckman: Who're you working for?
Jim Rockford: Well, that's confidential. [Buckman cocks his gun]
Jim Rockford: Larry Kirkoff.
Travis Buckman: Larry Kirkoff? What you are, hard up for work or something?
Jim Rockford: Can I have my pants, please?
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Jim Rockford: Dad, who turned you on to this scheme? Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: Harry Schreau down at the Gear Tavern. He's the one always buying drinks for the house.
Jim Rockford: Dad, isn't Harry also the one who lost five hundred bucks on an astrology chain letter?
Jim Rockford: Dad, isn't Harry also the one who lost five hundred bucks on an astrology chain letter?
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Jim Rockford: [Rockford is at a restaurant with a Lloyds of London representative discussing his reward for having helped recover stolen diamonds - a case that lead to the breaking of three priceless works of art] Mr. Cryder, I don't want to seem anxious, but I was wondering about my five percent recovery fee?
Cryder: Ohhh yes. I called my people at Lloyds, they agreed.
Jim Rockford: [smiling] Five percent, a million dollars worth of jewellery, that's fifty thousand dollars isn't it?
Cryder: Yes... Unfortunately each of the cormorants was insured for fifteen thousand making a total of forty-five thousand.
Jim Rockford: Well, what has one got to do with the other?
Cryder: Well they feel that since you were hired to protect them, and since all three were destroyed, that you should... bear the loss...
Jim Rockford: That's preposterous!
Cryder: Unfortunately that is how they... feel. So, ah, forty-five thousand from fifty thousand leaves five thousand...
Jim Rockford: [looking rather peeved] Well I didn't break the damn things!
Cryder: ...I've been doing some perliminary figuring... Now from the five thousand there's of course, ah, English inheritance and English income taxes [he starts subtracting on a pad of paper]
Cryder: ... ah yes, we will have to inform your IRS [he chuckles]
Cryder: and there's the rate of exchange to consider and, oh yes, then there's...
Jim Rockford: One minute, just one minute.
Cryder: Yes?
Jim Rockford: Do you think there's going to be enough for me to pick up this tab?
Cryder: I
Cryder: Ohhh yes. I called my people at Lloyds, they agreed.
Jim Rockford: [smiling] Five percent, a million dollars worth of jewellery, that's fifty thousand dollars isn't it?
Cryder: Yes... Unfortunately each of the cormorants was insured for fifteen thousand making a total of forty-five thousand.
Jim Rockford: Well, what has one got to do with the other?
Cryder: Well they feel that since you were hired to protect them, and since all three were destroyed, that you should... bear the loss...
Jim Rockford: That's preposterous!
Cryder: Unfortunately that is how they... feel. So, ah, forty-five thousand from fifty thousand leaves five thousand...
Jim Rockford: [looking rather peeved] Well I didn't break the damn things!
Cryder: ...I've been doing some perliminary figuring... Now from the five thousand there's of course, ah, English inheritance and English income taxes [he starts subtracting on a pad of paper]
Cryder: ... ah yes, we will have to inform your IRS [he chuckles]
Cryder: and there's the rate of exchange to consider and, oh yes, then there's...
Jim Rockford: One minute, just one minute.
Cryder: Yes?
Jim Rockford: Do you think there's going to be enough for me to pick up this tab?
Cryder: I
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Jim Rockford: This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
Alice: [beeep] Rockford? [sigh]
Alice: Alice, Phil's Plumbing. We're still jammed up on a job, so we won't be able to make your place... use the bathroom at the resteraunt one more night.
Alice: [beeep] Rockford? [sigh]
Alice: Alice, Phil's Plumbing. We're still jammed up on a job, so we won't be able to make your place... use the bathroom at the resteraunt one more night.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Little Beaver: [Rocky is on the CB radio at the new diner he and his friend Vince Whitehead have just opened] Breaker, breaker, this is Little Beaver. Come on! Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: That's a big ten-four Little Beaver. What's your twenty coming to Rocky's Summit? Say, have you put on the feedbag yet? We're slinging hash and pumping gas, come back!
Little Beaver: That's negatory, good buddy! I had me some steak on the grill five miles north. So I've got the pedal to the metal trying to pick up time. Maybe next trip! This is Little Beaver with a big ten-four!
Jim Rockford: I thought you said this was the only diner for ten miles north or south. Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: It is.
Jim Rockford: Well he said he'd already eaten! He had a steak on the grill five miles back! Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: That guy meant he ran into a cow. He don't have no time to stop. He's got the hammer down and he's making up time.
Little Beaver: That's negatory, good buddy! I had me some steak on the grill five miles north. So I've got the pedal to the metal trying to pick up time. Maybe next trip! This is Little Beaver with a big ten-four!
Jim Rockford: I thought you said this was the only diner for ten miles north or south. Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: It is.
Jim Rockford: Well he said he'd already eaten! He had a steak on the grill five miles back! Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: That guy meant he ran into a cow. He don't have no time to stop. He's got the hammer down and he's making up time.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Police Officer: [two cop cars pull up beside Rockford's trailer and two officers climb out, one pulling out his gun] Hold it! Stay right where you are!
Jim Rockford: What is it with today?
Jim Rockford: What is it with today?
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Sara Butler: How much of my own money am I going to earn back?
Jim: I usually pay my operatives 20 bucks an hour for this kind of thing.
Sara Butler: I wouldn't do it for less than 50.
Jim: I usually pay my operatives 20 bucks an hour for this kind of thing.
Sara Butler: I wouldn't do it for less than 50.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Jim: You know what's wrong with karate Jerry? It's based on the ridiculous assumption that the other guy will fight fair.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Nick Butler: Who are you, the boyfriend?
Jim: No, what I am is about fifty pounds heavier and a whole lot meaner.
Jim: No, what I am is about fifty pounds heavier and a whole lot meaner.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Jim: [right before Jerry hits him] You gotta be one of the dumbest looking apes I ever saw.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Mrs. Elias: [meeting Jim, who is posing as a Dean of Admissions] You look like a truck driver in a suit.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Alec Morris: I was told that you were very reliable.
Jim: Reliable...but chicken.
Jim: Reliable...but chicken.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Bob Coleman: You say one word about that to Adrienne, and they'll be scraping you up in six counties!
Jim: Six? Why not one neat little package like Margo?
Jim: Six? Why not one neat little package like Margo?
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Vern St. Cloud: Why you're on a real crusade, aren't you. You're a regular Sir Guinevere!
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Answering Machine: This is Department of the Army. Our records show you are the Rockford, James who failed to turn in his service automatic in May 1953. Contact us at once!
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Answering Machine: George Debohn, Malibu Space Watch. Had three sightings last week. You see anything unusual? Your television reception interrupted? Call 555-1313.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Gandy: Shut up Gabby!
Jim: [incredulous] Gabby?!
Hayes: [sighs] Yeah, that's what he calls me. Cute, huh?
Jim: [snorts in disbelief] Gabby and Gandy...sounds like a puppet show.
Jim: [incredulous] Gabby?!
Hayes: [sighs] Yeah, that's what he calls me. Cute, huh?
Jim: [snorts in disbelief] Gabby and Gandy...sounds like a puppet show.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Answering Machine: This is Dr. Salter. My nurse tells me you've blown four root canal appointments. Well, you're finished in this office.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Answering Machine: This is Toby. I forgot what I was calling for. Your recording is so boring... spike it with some humor, some personality...something!
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Ramirez: My banking representatives will be by at five to cancel out the debt; have the money.
Jim: Representatives? Plural?
Ramirez: That's right
Jim: I guess they travel in pairs 'cause that way they have twenty fingers and twenty toes.
Jim: Representatives? Plural?
Ramirez: That's right
Jim: I guess they travel in pairs 'cause that way they have twenty fingers and twenty toes.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Answering machine: [Loud traffic noise in background] Jimmy, this is Angel. Listen, I've got this new pad right over by the Hollywood Freeway and some friends are coming. Borrow your record player?
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Ralph Steel: I'm getting my gun. Both of you guys are dead.
Freddie Beamer: Yeah? Well, go ahead! I'm not the kind of guy you can blow away with a threat!
Jim: Yeah, well I am!
Freddie Beamer: Yeah? Well, go ahead! I'm not the kind of guy you can blow away with a threat!
Jim: Yeah, well I am!
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Jim: Look, I don't have a lead!
Ann Louise Clement: Except...
Jim: Some avenging feminist with a black belt in auto repairing.
Ann Louise Clement: Except...
Jim: Some avenging feminist with a black belt in auto repairing.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Answering Machine: Jim, it's Grace at the bank. I checked your Christmas Club account. You don't have five hundred dollars, you have fifty... Sorry! Computer foul-up!
TV Show: The Rockford Files
[Jim has just been threatened by a butcher]
Rocky: What was that guy's beef?
Jim: What? Is that supposed to be funny?
Rocky: What'd I say? What'd I say?
Rocky: What was that guy's beef?
Jim: What? Is that supposed to be funny?
Rocky: What'd I say? What'd I say?
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Answering Machine: Hey Jimmy! I tried to catch you before you left! [chuckles] Hey buddy, I was wrong. That rally in Mexico? That was yesterday!
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Answering Machine: Jim I have finally finished 12 long years of psychotherapy and now I am able to tell you just what I think of you. Would you please call me?
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Answering Machine: This is Mrs. Owens of the Organization for a Better Malibu. Thanks for your contribution. We've made great strides. It would help, dear, if you'd move your trailer.
TV Show: The Rockford Files
Larry Kirkoff: How about it, Mr. Rockford? Twenty thousand dollars can buy a lot of groceries.
TV Show: The Rockford Files