The Royle Family Quotes
Barbara Royle: [about her mother on the phone] It's shocking, really, you know - she's 82.
Jim Royle: Why what's happened?
Barbara Royle: Well, she went down the precinct and she had this voucher - and it was one day out of date and the miserable sod of a manager wouldn't let her have the money off!
Jim Royle: How much was it worth?
Barbara Royle: 20p.
Jim Royle: 20p? It'll cost her more than that to ring every bugger she knows to tell!
Jim Royle: Why what's happened?
Barbara Royle: Well, she went down the precinct and she had this voucher - and it was one day out of date and the miserable sod of a manager wouldn't let her have the money off!
Jim Royle: How much was it worth?
Barbara Royle: 20p.
Jim Royle: 20p? It'll cost her more than that to ring every bugger she knows to tell!
Movie: The Royle Family
Barbara Royle: [in a discussion of homosexuals] Well, I don't care what anybody is - I don't care whether they're gay, straight or Australian. It's what they're like as a person that matters.
Jim Royle: Aye, aye Barb', steady on there, will ya? This ain't Live Aid you know, its just my bloody birthday.
Barbara Royle: Oh, you're a sarcastic bugger you are Jim!
Jim Royle: Aye, aye Barb', steady on there, will ya? This ain't Live Aid you know, its just my bloody birthday.
Barbara Royle: Oh, you're a sarcastic bugger you are Jim!
Movie: The Royle Family
Barbara Royle: [talking about Cheryl] Have you asked her to be bridesmaid?
Denise Royle: Aw, yeah, aw, she was thrilled.
Jim Royle: Bridesmaid, my arse, she'll look like a bloody Easter egg on legs.
Antony Royle: Yeah, and the only reason you're having her as a bridesmaid is to make you look better.
Denise Royle: Get lost, Anthony!
Barbara Royle: Is she really on a diet?
Denise Royle: Yeah.
Barbara Royle: D'ya think she'll ever get married?
Antony Royle: Who'd have her?
Jim Royle: Stevie Wonder.
Antony Royle: [laughs] Yeah.
Denise Royle: Aw, yeah, aw, she was thrilled.
Jim Royle: Bridesmaid, my arse, she'll look like a bloody Easter egg on legs.
Antony Royle: Yeah, and the only reason you're having her as a bridesmaid is to make you look better.
Denise Royle: Get lost, Anthony!
Barbara Royle: Is she really on a diet?
Denise Royle: Yeah.
Barbara Royle: D'ya think she'll ever get married?
Antony Royle: Who'd have her?
Jim Royle: Stevie Wonder.
Antony Royle: [laughs] Yeah.
Movie: The Royle Family
Barbara Royle: Oh, so Cheryl how's the diet coming along?
Cheryl Carroll: Oh really really well thanks.
Barbara Royle: Aww, would you like a biscuit?
Cheryl Carroll: Yeah.
Cheryl Carroll: Oh really really well thanks.
Barbara Royle: Aww, would you like a biscuit?
Cheryl Carroll: Yeah.
Movie: The Royle Family
Denise Royle: Shall we go down The Feathers for the last hour?
Dave Best: No, I'm knackered.
Denise Royle: Ok. I'm not bothered anyway - we can always stay in and watch the telly.
Dave Best: Is there 'owt on?
Denise Royle: No.
Dave Best: Well, we may as well go down the feathers then.
Denise Royle: You were too knackered to go a minute ago!
Barbara Royle: Oh, let him go for a drink if that's what he wants!
Denise Royle: I just asked him! He said he was too knackered to go!
Dave Best: Do you wanna' go or what?
Denise Royle: I wanted to go in the first place. I'm not going now anyway - you've annoyed me.
Dave Best: No, I'm knackered.
Denise Royle: Ok. I'm not bothered anyway - we can always stay in and watch the telly.
Dave Best: Is there 'owt on?
Denise Royle: No.
Dave Best: Well, we may as well go down the feathers then.
Denise Royle: You were too knackered to go a minute ago!
Barbara Royle: Oh, let him go for a drink if that's what he wants!
Denise Royle: I just asked him! He said he was too knackered to go!
Dave Best: Do you wanna' go or what?
Denise Royle: I wanted to go in the first place. I'm not going now anyway - you've annoyed me.
Movie: The Royle Family
Denise Royle: [talking about Dave and Beverly Macca] Every time when I come out of the toilet she was round him, right, like flies, right, round ****. [to Dave]
Denise Royle: And you're the ****, and she? she's not even the fly because she's to fat to be the fly and she's the **** and that's what they are, they're two shovels of ****.
Barbara Royle: You don't have to bring **** into it, love.
Denise Royle: And you're the ****, and she? she's not even the fly because she's to fat to be the fly and she's the **** and that's what they are, they're two shovels of ****.
Barbara Royle: You don't have to bring **** into it, love.
Movie: The Royle Family