The Simpsons Quotes
Bart: [reading] Whoa, Dad's been arrested six times. Aww, Mom's only been arrested twice.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: [slapping Lisa] Don't hit Maggie. She's just a baby.
Homer: [slapping Bart] Don't hit Lisa. She's a girl.
Grampa: [slapping Homer] Keep your hands off of him Homer!
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: As long as you're doing things for me, will you tie up your bathrobe when you walk around the house?
Homer: NEVER.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: But mom, Milhouse's doing it.
Marge: If Milhouse jumped off a cliff would you do it?
Bart: Milhouse jumped off a cliff? I'm there!
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: But mom...
Marge: I just don't think it's a good idea
Bart: But mom!
Marge: Yes?
Bart: That's all I got...
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Can I have a beer?
Homer: All right, but not the imported.
Marge: Homer!
Homer: You've got to set limits, Marge.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Dad, I can't believe you're risking my life to save your own.
Homer: Son, you'll understand one day, when you have kids.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Dad, I think I need some fresh air. Can I go to the park?
Homer: Do I have to sit up?
Bart: No.
Homer: Knock yourself out.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Hey, dad. Heard you were swearing. Mind if I join in? Crap, boobs, crap!
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: I smell a museum.
Homer: Yeah, good things don't end with 'eum,' they end with 'mania' or 'teria.'
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Lis, can you keep it down? I'm in the middle of a crank call here.
Principal Skinner: [on phone] Actually, my refrigerator *wasn't* running. You've saved me quite a bit of spoilage. Thank you, anonymous young man.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Lis, you made the school worse than it already was. It wasn't exactly San Diego State to begin with.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Lisa made me do it. She cast a witch's spell on me.
Lisa: It's spelled Wicca, and it's empowering.
Bart: Wicca is just a Hollywood fad.
Lisa: That's Kabbala, jerk.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Stan Lee came back?
Comic Book Guy: Stan Lee never left. I'm afraid his mind is no longer in mint condition.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Stomp that pickle revert.
Otto: Sick lingos, boys.
Bart: I've gotta go to the bathroom.
Otto: Ah, ah, say it in snowboard.
Bart: Uh, I've gotta blast a dookie?
Otto: Dook on!
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Well, Milhouse. Ready to imitate that Jackass show?
Milhouse: The disclaimers make me want to do it more.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: Why would Duff publish a book.
Lisa: It was designed to settle fights in taverns.
Homer: Whoo-hoo. She said "tavern". I'm going to Moe's. [runs away and drives off]
Marge: I never agreed to that rule.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Bart: You could be my father figure.
Homer: No way. I'm not getting my finger prints on that train wreck.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Nelson: Dad didn't leave... when he comes back from the store, he's going to wave those pop-tarts right in your face!
TV Show: The Simpsons
Nelson: I can't sing without dancing.
J.C. Chasez, Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, Joey Fatone, Chris Kirkpatrick: Fine. Thrust, spin, turn, pivot, pout, jiggy, jiggy, robot, dosido, and close with a Matrix.
Nelson: Nobody pouts going into a jiggy.
Milhouse: Yeah, that's stupid.
Ralph: I want to twirl.
TV Show: The Simpsons
Ralph: [knocks on door] Hi. Can Lisa come out with her hands up? [waves to cops hiding in bushes]
TV Show: The Simpsons