The Three Stooges Quotes
Terrified Nun: It's not my turn, get somebody else.
Mother Superior: Sister Ricarda, how about you? Will you please go tell the boys to come down for lunch?
Sister Ricarda: Uh, I would, Mother Superior, I swear I would, but the doctor told me to steer clear of them for a couple of weeks. on account of my nerves.
Mother Superior: How about you, Sister Rosemary?
Sister Rosemary: Oh yeah, just like the army? Put the black folks on the front line? Uh-uh. What about Sister Mary-Mengele? She knows how to handle them.
Mother Superior: Oh, poor thing, she has a toothache, so she went to lie down.
Sister Rosemary: You mean she's asleep? Where are the boys?
Mother Superior: Sister Ricarda, how about you? Will you please go tell the boys to come down for lunch?
Sister Ricarda: Uh, I would, Mother Superior, I swear I would, but the doctor told me to steer clear of them for a couple of weeks. on account of my nerves.
Mother Superior: How about you, Sister Rosemary?
Sister Rosemary: Oh yeah, just like the army? Put the black folks on the front line? Uh-uh. What about Sister Mary-Mengele? She knows how to handle them.
Mother Superior: Oh, poor thing, she has a toothache, so she went to lie down.
Sister Rosemary: You mean she's asleep? Where are the boys?
Movie: The Three Stooges
Moe: [in Teddy's bedroom]Teddy! Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, what's the matter? Come on boy, speak to me.
Teddy: [barely awake]Who are you?
Moe: It's us, it's Moe...
Larry: Larry...
Curly: And Curly.
Teddy: [Teddy is still half-awake]Guys, what are you doing here?
Moe: All right buddy, we got you now.
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: [Lydia and Mac enter Teddy's bedroom]Nyah-ah-aah!
Teddy: [drowsily]Oh, honey, thanks so much for inviting the boys behind my back.
Moe: That ain't the only thing she's doing behind your back.
Curly: Yeah, she wanted us to smother you in your sleep.
Larry: And now it looks like she slipped you some knockout juice.
Teddy: [still drowsy]Lydia, what are they talking about?
Lydia: [feigning innocence]Honey, I am as confused as you are. All I know is that these men crashed our party, and when we tried to remove them, they start acting crazy.
Moe: Teddy, you've known us since you were a baby. Why, we were the ones who taught you how to play with matches. We treated you like a little brother. Why would we lie to you now?
Teddy: [still drowsy]Wait, Lydia, why am I still in bed if- if the party's going on?
Mac: [Lydia looks at Mac while trying to come up with an answer]I'll tell you why.
Teddy: [Mac reveals his left hand, which has a gun in it]Oh, Mac.
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: Nyah-ah-aah!
Mr. Harter: [Mr. Harter enters the room, with a gun in his right hand]Don't even think about it, Mac.
Mr. Harter: [the Stooges sigh and chuckle with relief]Real slow, now. Drop it to the floor.
Mac: Not a problem. [Mac slowly puts the gun on the floor]
Teddy: Good work, Dad. You know, I had a feeling something was going on, but you, Mac? I mean, you were m
Teddy: [barely awake]Who are you?
Moe: It's us, it's Moe...
Larry: Larry...
Curly: And Curly.
Teddy: [Teddy is still half-awake]Guys, what are you doing here?
Moe: All right buddy, we got you now.
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: [Lydia and Mac enter Teddy's bedroom]Nyah-ah-aah!
Teddy: [drowsily]Oh, honey, thanks so much for inviting the boys behind my back.
Moe: That ain't the only thing she's doing behind your back.
Curly: Yeah, she wanted us to smother you in your sleep.
Larry: And now it looks like she slipped you some knockout juice.
Teddy: [still drowsy]Lydia, what are they talking about?
Lydia: [feigning innocence]Honey, I am as confused as you are. All I know is that these men crashed our party, and when we tried to remove them, they start acting crazy.
Moe: Teddy, you've known us since you were a baby. Why, we were the ones who taught you how to play with matches. We treated you like a little brother. Why would we lie to you now?
Teddy: [still drowsy]Wait, Lydia, why am I still in bed if- if the party's going on?
Mac: [Lydia looks at Mac while trying to come up with an answer]I'll tell you why.
Teddy: [Mac reveals his left hand, which has a gun in it]Oh, Mac.
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: Nyah-ah-aah!
Mr. Harter: [Mr. Harter enters the room, with a gun in his right hand]Don't even think about it, Mac.
Mr. Harter: [the Stooges sigh and chuckle with relief]Real slow, now. Drop it to the floor.
Mac: Not a problem. [Mac slowly puts the gun on the floor]
Teddy: Good work, Dad. You know, I had a feeling something was going on, but you, Mac? I mean, you were m
Movie: The Three Stooges
Mac: [as he and Lydia are being arrested]Come on, come on, what's it gonna take, huh? Come on, come on, let's make a deal, I- I...
Lydia: [screaming at Mac]Shut up!
Mac: You shut up!
Policeman
3: Just get in there.
Mac: [to the police officer]I'll sing like a canary. You know, you name 'em, I'll blame 'em.
Policeman
3: I don't care.
Teddy: It's ironic, isn't it? Here I am, the so-called lucky one who got adopted, and yet I never could find the one thing that you three have always had. You know, you're happy with yourselves, and with each other. That's a real blessing. So what can I do to pay you guys back for saving my life?
Lydia: Funny you should ask: Can you give us 830,000 bucks to save the orphanage?
Teddy: Uh... no. [the Stooges gasp in shock]
Teddy: That guy that adopted me, he shipped me off to military school when I was seven. And he just... he just tried to murder me, and run off with my wife, and- and you expect me to just give money to the women who handed me over to that monster? I'm sorry, guys, I'd do anything for those kids and- and you guys, but... I can't do that, uh... sorry.
Policeman
3: Excuse me, Mr. Harter? Could you come over here and give us a statement? Right this way.
Moe: [Moe slaps Larry]Donut remover.
Lydia: [screaming at Mac]Shut up!
Mac: You shut up!
Policeman
3: Just get in there.
Mac: [to the police officer]I'll sing like a canary. You know, you name 'em, I'll blame 'em.
Policeman
3: I don't care.
Teddy: It's ironic, isn't it? Here I am, the so-called lucky one who got adopted, and yet I never could find the one thing that you three have always had. You know, you're happy with yourselves, and with each other. That's a real blessing. So what can I do to pay you guys back for saving my life?
Lydia: Funny you should ask: Can you give us 830,000 bucks to save the orphanage?
Teddy: Uh... no. [the Stooges gasp in shock]
Teddy: That guy that adopted me, he shipped me off to military school when I was seven. And he just... he just tried to murder me, and run off with my wife, and- and you expect me to just give money to the women who handed me over to that monster? I'm sorry, guys, I'd do anything for those kids and- and you guys, but... I can't do that, uh... sorry.
Policeman
3: Excuse me, Mr. Harter? Could you come over here and give us a statement? Right this way.
Moe: [Moe slaps Larry]Donut remover.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Mother Superior: Boys, where have you been? We've been looking for you everywhere.
Moe: Well, I guess we just didn't have the nerve to come back and tell you... we failed.
Mother Superior: Oh, you didn't fail. Look at our new home.
Moe: [surprisedly]New home? Who paid for all this?
Peezer: You did!
Moe: Huh?
Moe's Hip Executive: The kid's right. The money's coming out of your pocket.
Moe: Sorry slick, but we don't have that kind of dough!
Moe's Hip Executive: Oh, you will. See, the network has taken the liberty of paying off the orphanage's debts and building the new complex. Think of it as an advance. All you got to do is sign right here, boys, and you three will be the stars of our next big reality show: Nuns vs. Nitwits. What do you say?
Moe: Oh, gee!
Curly: I always wanted to be a nun! Mmm...
Mother Superior: Oh, and by the way, the Jersey Shore kids pitched in for the down payment.
Moe: Well, I guess we just didn't have the nerve to come back and tell you... we failed.
Mother Superior: Oh, you didn't fail. Look at our new home.
Moe: [surprisedly]New home? Who paid for all this?
Peezer: You did!
Moe: Huh?
Moe's Hip Executive: The kid's right. The money's coming out of your pocket.
Moe: Sorry slick, but we don't have that kind of dough!
Moe's Hip Executive: Oh, you will. See, the network has taken the liberty of paying off the orphanage's debts and building the new complex. Think of it as an advance. All you got to do is sign right here, boys, and you three will be the stars of our next big reality show: Nuns vs. Nitwits. What do you say?
Moe: Oh, gee!
Curly: I always wanted to be a nun! Mmm...
Mother Superior: Oh, and by the way, the Jersey Shore kids pitched in for the down payment.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Balloon Girl: [hanging on to the balloons which have risen to the sunroof]Mommy!
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: Nyah-ah-aah! [one of the guests cries out Oh!]
Moe: Think of something, lamebrains!
Larry: [Larry points to a rifle on the wall]Hey look, a balloon popper.
Curly: Oh, heh-heh-heh. [Larry gets the rifle from above the fireplace]
Larry: I'll get it! [Larry starts to aim the rifle]
Moe: What's the matter with you? That's a kid up there! Where's your gun safety? [Moe takes the rifle from Larry's hands, and hits him on the forehead with the rifle's butt end; the rifle fires, popping one of the balloons as the little girl falls on the cake below]
Balloon Girl: [laughing]That was awesome!
French Chef: Nooo-oh-oh-oh-ohhhh, oh-oh-ohhh! Mon gateau!
Moe: Come on, fellas.
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: Nyah-ah-aah! [one of the guests cries out Oh!]
Moe: Think of something, lamebrains!
Larry: [Larry points to a rifle on the wall]Hey look, a balloon popper.
Curly: Oh, heh-heh-heh. [Larry gets the rifle from above the fireplace]
Larry: I'll get it! [Larry starts to aim the rifle]
Moe: What's the matter with you? That's a kid up there! Where's your gun safety? [Moe takes the rifle from Larry's hands, and hits him on the forehead with the rifle's butt end; the rifle fires, popping one of the balloons as the little girl falls on the cake below]
Balloon Girl: [laughing]That was awesome!
French Chef: Nooo-oh-oh-oh-ohhhh, oh-oh-ohhh! Mon gateau!
Moe: Come on, fellas.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Bobby Farrelly: [epilogue]Hello everyone, I'm Bob Farrelly.
Pete Farrelly: And I'm Pete Farrelly, and we're the guys that made the movie you just watched.
Bobby Farrelly: We want you know that all the stunts that were performed in our film, they were done by professionals. And all the tools are not real, they're rubber. Watch this: [Bobby picks up a hammer made of rubber, and bends the plastic head; he hits Pete on the head]
Bobby Farrelly: Now let's watch that with sound effects. [Bobby hits Pete with a hammer, and this time a clank sound effect is heard]
Bobby Farrelly: Pretty cool.
Pete Farrelly: Remember that sledgehammer scene? That, too, is made out of rubber. Fake, isn't that right, Bobby? [Pete bends the rubber head of a sledgehammer prop]
Bobby Farrelly: That's right, Pete. [Pete hits Bobby with the rubber sledgehammer prop, a clank sound effect is heard]
Pete Farrelly: See? he didn't get hurt.
Bobby Farrelly: Remember the eye poke? [Bobby jabs two fingers against Pete's forehead, making a poke sound effect]
Bobby Farrelly: Now let's look at that again in slow motion. [the instant replay shows Bobby's fingers only making contact with the forehead just above the eyebrows, but not in the eyes, making a poke sound effect]
Bobby Farrelly: Kids, do not poke anyone in the eye. It's very dangerous.
Pete Farrelly: The point is, this movie's all about fun and games, so please play safe at home. Thank you.
Pete Farrelly: And I'm Pete Farrelly, and we're the guys that made the movie you just watched.
Bobby Farrelly: We want you know that all the stunts that were performed in our film, they were done by professionals. And all the tools are not real, they're rubber. Watch this: [Bobby picks up a hammer made of rubber, and bends the plastic head; he hits Pete on the head]
Bobby Farrelly: Now let's watch that with sound effects. [Bobby hits Pete with a hammer, and this time a clank sound effect is heard]
Bobby Farrelly: Pretty cool.
Pete Farrelly: Remember that sledgehammer scene? That, too, is made out of rubber. Fake, isn't that right, Bobby? [Pete bends the rubber head of a sledgehammer prop]
Bobby Farrelly: That's right, Pete. [Pete hits Bobby with the rubber sledgehammer prop, a clank sound effect is heard]
Pete Farrelly: See? he didn't get hurt.
Bobby Farrelly: Remember the eye poke? [Bobby jabs two fingers against Pete's forehead, making a poke sound effect]
Bobby Farrelly: Now let's look at that again in slow motion. [the instant replay shows Bobby's fingers only making contact with the forehead just above the eyebrows, but not in the eyes, making a poke sound effect]
Bobby Farrelly: Kids, do not poke anyone in the eye. It's very dangerous.
Pete Farrelly: The point is, this movie's all about fun and games, so please play safe at home. Thank you.
Movie: The Three Stooges
[last lines]Moe: Gee, it sure feels good to not louse things up for once.
Curly: Oh, you said it. [Curly leans on the diving board, knocking Sister Mary-Mengele into the swimming pool]
Sister Mary-Mengele: Aaah!
Curly: Oh, oh, oh oh!
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: Nyah-aah-aah!
Sister Mary-Mengele: I'm going to mash your heads... like potatoes!
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: Nyah-aah-aah!
Curly: Woo-woo, woo-woo-woo-woo-woo! [the Stooges jump on trampolines and over the hedge, landing on horses and riding away]
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: Whoa!
Larry: Hey fellas, wait! Wait up! Whoa, whoa! How do you steer this thing? Oh, boy...
Curly: Oh, you said it. [Curly leans on the diving board, knocking Sister Mary-Mengele into the swimming pool]
Sister Mary-Mengele: Aaah!
Curly: Oh, oh, oh oh!
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: Nyah-aah-aah!
Sister Mary-Mengele: I'm going to mash your heads... like potatoes!
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: Nyah-aah-aah!
Curly: Woo-woo, woo-woo-woo-woo-woo! [the Stooges jump on trampolines and over the hedge, landing on horses and riding away]
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: Whoa!
Larry: Hey fellas, wait! Wait up! Whoa, whoa! How do you steer this thing? Oh, boy...
Movie: The Three Stooges
Curly: I got the saw, Moe.
Moe: Yeah? Well, you're too late. [turning around, he finds Curly revving the chainsaw an inch from his face]
Moe: Nyahh! [taking it away]
Moe: What's the matter with you? You trying to hurt someone? Why, you...!
Curly: [Moe uses the saw on his head]Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, look!
Moe: [seeing the teeth are chewed up]Nyah! Now look what you did.
Curly: It's not my fault. There was a chain reaction on the saw, see? Saw.
Moe: Oh, a punster, eh? [looking around for the sledgehammer]
Moe: Where's that hammer?
Moe: Yeah? Well, you're too late. [turning around, he finds Curly revving the chainsaw an inch from his face]
Moe: Nyahh! [taking it away]
Moe: What's the matter with you? You trying to hurt someone? Why, you...!
Curly: [Moe uses the saw on his head]Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, look!
Moe: [seeing the teeth are chewed up]Nyah! Now look what you did.
Curly: It's not my fault. There was a chain reaction on the saw, see? Saw.
Moe: Oh, a punster, eh? [looking around for the sledgehammer]
Moe: Where's that hammer?
Movie: The Three Stooges
Carbunkle: You blithering idiots! What do you think you're doing?
Moe: Out of the way, 3PO, we got to get Teddy.
Carbunkle: This is an invitation-only party! [points the way out for them]
Carbunkle: Now, good day!
Moe: Out of the way, 3PO, we got to get Teddy.
Carbunkle: This is an invitation-only party! [points the way out for them]
Carbunkle: Now, good day!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: Yeah, what's it gonna take to save this place?
Monsignor Ratliffe: A lot of of this. [rubs fingers together, indicating money]
Larry: Oh. Well, that's doable. How many boogers we talking about?
Monsignor Ratliffe: Not boogers; dollars, you moron!
Monsignor Ratliffe: A lot of of this. [rubs fingers together, indicating money]
Larry: Oh. Well, that's doable. How many boogers we talking about?
Monsignor Ratliffe: Not boogers; dollars, you moron!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Teddy: Hey, wait a minute, where are you guys living?
Moe: You know the Ritz Carlton on Oak Street?
Teddy: Oh, sure.
Curly: Yeah, we're camped out in the dumpster out back.
Larry: But not the dirty, beat-up green one. It's the shiny blue one right next to it
Teddy: Oh... You know, I've got an idea: Why don't you guys come crash at my place, just until you get your feet back on the ground?
Larry: Oh boy, that sounds terrific!
Curly: Yeah, heh.
Moe: We're not going anywhere.
Larry: What are you talking about, Moe?
Moe: Thanks Teddy Bear, but we're gonna stay put. We got too many irons in the fire right now.
Teddy: Of course you do. Hey look, I gotta get going; I'm supposed to be visiting a friend. Wait, let's get a quick pic first.
Moe: What is that gadget?
Teddy: It's an iPhone.
Curly: [squints into Teddy's iPhone]Eye-phone? Hello? Hello! There's nobody there.
Teddy: Works better on your ear. Here, come on, everybody.
Moe: Where do you think you're going? [Moe pulls Larry's hair]
Larry: Aah!
Moe: Here, let me get- Wait a minute, wait a second. [Moe climbs on top of Curly and Larry as they pose for a quick photo]
Teddy: Smile! [Teddy takes the Stooges' photo]
Teddy: [Teddy chuckles]Oh, that's great. It's so good to see you guys, really. You haven't changed a bit.
Moe: You know the Ritz Carlton on Oak Street?
Teddy: Oh, sure.
Curly: Yeah, we're camped out in the dumpster out back.
Larry: But not the dirty, beat-up green one. It's the shiny blue one right next to it
Teddy: Oh... You know, I've got an idea: Why don't you guys come crash at my place, just until you get your feet back on the ground?
Larry: Oh boy, that sounds terrific!
Curly: Yeah, heh.
Moe: We're not going anywhere.
Larry: What are you talking about, Moe?
Moe: Thanks Teddy Bear, but we're gonna stay put. We got too many irons in the fire right now.
Teddy: Of course you do. Hey look, I gotta get going; I'm supposed to be visiting a friend. Wait, let's get a quick pic first.
Moe: What is that gadget?
Teddy: It's an iPhone.
Curly: [squints into Teddy's iPhone]Eye-phone? Hello? Hello! There's nobody there.
Teddy: Works better on your ear. Here, come on, everybody.
Moe: Where do you think you're going? [Moe pulls Larry's hair]
Larry: Aah!
Moe: Here, let me get- Wait a minute, wait a second. [Moe climbs on top of Curly and Larry as they pose for a quick photo]
Teddy: Smile! [Teddy takes the Stooges' photo]
Teddy: [Teddy chuckles]Oh, that's great. It's so good to see you guys, really. You haven't changed a bit.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: [after Moe has just refused Teddy's offer to stay at his place]Hey, what- Have you got rocks in your head? Teddy was trying to help us out, and you blew him off! What gives?
Moe: We'll help ourselves out.
Larry: Well, what about the orphanage? Teddy's dad has dough, maybe he would have given us the 800,000 bucks.
Moe: We don't need handouts from that chump; we told those kids we'd come up with the cash, and that's just what we are going to do.
Larry: Yeah, how?
Moe: Well... we still got that seed money, don't we?
Curly: Seed money?
Moe: The cash Mother Superior gave us. [Moe reaches into his shoe and pulls out the seed money]
Moe: This 72 bucks is our ticket to riches.
Curly: Riches? Woo-woo, woo-woo. How do you figure?
Moe: Well, it's seed money, right? What do you do with seeds?
Larry: Spit 'em out. [Moe slaps Larry]
Larry: Ow!
Moe: You plant them. We'll become farmers.
Larry: Farmers? I always wanted to be a farmer.To the farm!
Curly: To the farm!
Moe: To the farm!
Larry ,
Moe ,
Curly: [Larry plays the kazoo as the Stooges sing]A farming we will go! A farming we will go, a farming we will go
Curly: Woo-hoo!
Larry ,
Moe ,
Curly: A farming we will go!
Moe: We'll help ourselves out.
Larry: Well, what about the orphanage? Teddy's dad has dough, maybe he would have given us the 800,000 bucks.
Moe: We don't need handouts from that chump; we told those kids we'd come up with the cash, and that's just what we are going to do.
Larry: Yeah, how?
Moe: Well... we still got that seed money, don't we?
Curly: Seed money?
Moe: The cash Mother Superior gave us. [Moe reaches into his shoe and pulls out the seed money]
Moe: This 72 bucks is our ticket to riches.
Curly: Riches? Woo-woo, woo-woo. How do you figure?
Moe: Well, it's seed money, right? What do you do with seeds?
Larry: Spit 'em out. [Moe slaps Larry]
Larry: Ow!
Moe: You plant them. We'll become farmers.
Larry: Farmers? I always wanted to be a farmer.To the farm!
Curly: To the farm!
Moe: To the farm!
Larry ,
Moe ,
Curly: [Larry plays the kazoo as the Stooges sing]A farming we will go! A farming we will go, a farming we will go
Curly: Woo-hoo!
Larry ,
Moe ,
Curly: A farming we will go!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: [Turkey in the Straw plays in the background; a sign reads Rolling Gills, The Kings of Farm Raised Sammin]Here's a little drink for you, Elsie.
Larry: [Larry holds a watering can over the salmon]Jonesy, you gotta hold still in order to get a drink. Hello, Maritza, you're getting your color back.
Curly: [Curly steps on a salmon to shoo the flies away]Ralphie don't look so good.
Moe: Poor guy's drying out.
Curly: Oh, good for you, Ralphie. Realizing there's a problem is half the battle, heh-heh.
Larry: Hey look, our first customer.
Curly: Woo-woo-woo.
Golf Superintendent Dave Lamson: What are you doing?
Moe: Only selling the finest farm-raised salmon in the county, that's all.
Curly: Yeah, they're all free-range; no nets, no cages. They can go wherever they want.
Larry: Plus we have smoked salmon. [Larry holds up a salmon with a cigar in its mouth]
Curly: Oh.
Golf Superintendent Dave Lamson: But this is a golf course!
Larry: So what? We let 'em play through.
Curly: What's your beef?
Moe: Yeah, we're trying to save an orphanage. Look, are you here to buy fish, or are you just kicking the tires?
Larry: [a police car pulls up]Hey, do your job. Cart path only.
Golf Superintendent Dave Lamson: I'll cart path you, you little - [Moe pokes Lamson in the eyes]
Larry ,
Curly ,
Moe: Nyah-ah-ahh!
Curly: Woo-woo-woo, woo-woo! [the Stooges run away]
Moe: It's the five-o, scram!
Officer Mycroft: You again!
Larry ,
Curly ,
Moe: Nyah-ah-ahh! [the Stooges run off with a windmill, then throw it to the ground as they run away]
Larry: Oh, my back. [the Stooges run through a hole in the hedge]
Larry: [Larry holds a watering can over the salmon]Jonesy, you gotta hold still in order to get a drink. Hello, Maritza, you're getting your color back.
Curly: [Curly steps on a salmon to shoo the flies away]Ralphie don't look so good.
Moe: Poor guy's drying out.
Curly: Oh, good for you, Ralphie. Realizing there's a problem is half the battle, heh-heh.
Larry: Hey look, our first customer.
Curly: Woo-woo-woo.
Golf Superintendent Dave Lamson: What are you doing?
Moe: Only selling the finest farm-raised salmon in the county, that's all.
Curly: Yeah, they're all free-range; no nets, no cages. They can go wherever they want.
Larry: Plus we have smoked salmon. [Larry holds up a salmon with a cigar in its mouth]
Curly: Oh.
Golf Superintendent Dave Lamson: But this is a golf course!
Larry: So what? We let 'em play through.
Curly: What's your beef?
Moe: Yeah, we're trying to save an orphanage. Look, are you here to buy fish, or are you just kicking the tires?
Larry: [a police car pulls up]Hey, do your job. Cart path only.
Golf Superintendent Dave Lamson: I'll cart path you, you little - [Moe pokes Lamson in the eyes]
Larry ,
Curly ,
Moe: Nyah-ah-ahh!
Curly: Woo-woo-woo, woo-woo! [the Stooges run away]
Moe: It's the five-o, scram!
Officer Mycroft: You again!
Larry ,
Curly ,
Moe: Nyah-ah-ahh! [the Stooges run off with a windmill, then throw it to the ground as they run away]
Larry: Oh, my back. [the Stooges run through a hole in the hedge]
Movie: The Three Stooges
Moe: [riding on Curly's back and dangling a hot dog in front of him]Yah! Yah mule! Yah!
Moe: [the Stooges run into an alley]Whoa, whoa!
Moe: [Curly snorts like a horse]Easy Seabiscuit, easy!
Larry: [Larry pulls on a locked door]We're trapped like rats!
Moe: Speak for yourself, rodent. [Moe pushes Larry aside]
Moe: We're going to need a battering ram. [Moe and Larry look at Curly]
Officer Mycroft: You go that way, I'll go this way! [Officers Mycroft and Armstrong split up]
Officer Armstrong: Okay! [Armstrong wheezes as he chases the Stooges on foot]
Moe ,
Larry: [Moe and Larry use Curly as a battering ram against the door]Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
Curly: Oh oh, fellas, ease up, you're squeezing my ankles too tight!
Moe: Quit your whining.
Moe ,
Larry: Ho! [Curly groans from the pain as the Stooges break through the metal door]
Moe: [the Stooges run into an alley]Whoa, whoa!
Moe: [Curly snorts like a horse]Easy Seabiscuit, easy!
Larry: [Larry pulls on a locked door]We're trapped like rats!
Moe: Speak for yourself, rodent. [Moe pushes Larry aside]
Moe: We're going to need a battering ram. [Moe and Larry look at Curly]
Officer Mycroft: You go that way, I'll go this way! [Officers Mycroft and Armstrong split up]
Officer Armstrong: Okay! [Armstrong wheezes as he chases the Stooges on foot]
Moe ,
Larry: [Moe and Larry use Curly as a battering ram against the door]Heave-ho! Heave-ho!
Curly: Oh oh, fellas, ease up, you're squeezing my ankles too tight!
Moe: Quit your whining.
Moe ,
Larry: Ho! [Curly groans from the pain as the Stooges break through the metal door]
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: Stop it! Stop in, Moe! I've had it with you! You're the cause of all our problems since day one.
Moe: How do you figure?
Larry: You should have gone and lived with Teddy's folks back when they wanted to adopt you!
Curly: Yeah, that way you could have come back and and helped us all out.
Larry: But no, the great and powerful Moe is too lazy to squeegee the pool.
Moe: Ah, you don't know what you're talking about.
Larry: Oh no? Why do you think we never got another shot at getting adopted again? Because when you messed it up that day, you messed it up for all of us!
Moe: Look, if you two got ants in your pants, then why don't you just leave? I'm getting sick and tired of looking at your monkey faces anyhow! Being with you two is like dragging around a couple of boat anchors! [Larry and Curly quietly gasp to themselves]
Curly: Well, fine. Then... Good-bye, Moe.
Larry: Yeah... good-bye.
Moe: Well, what are you waitin' for? Go on, scram! I bet you two earthworms won't last a day without me! [Curly grunts in annoyance, Larry picks up a clump of hair, and they both walk out]
Moe: How do you figure?
Larry: You should have gone and lived with Teddy's folks back when they wanted to adopt you!
Curly: Yeah, that way you could have come back and and helped us all out.
Larry: But no, the great and powerful Moe is too lazy to squeegee the pool.
Moe: Ah, you don't know what you're talking about.
Larry: Oh no? Why do you think we never got another shot at getting adopted again? Because when you messed it up that day, you messed it up for all of us!
Moe: Look, if you two got ants in your pants, then why don't you just leave? I'm getting sick and tired of looking at your monkey faces anyhow! Being with you two is like dragging around a couple of boat anchors! [Larry and Curly quietly gasp to themselves]
Curly: Well, fine. Then... Good-bye, Moe.
Larry: Yeah... good-bye.
Moe: Well, what are you waitin' for? Go on, scram! I bet you two earthworms won't last a day without me! [Curly grunts in annoyance, Larry picks up a clump of hair, and they both walk out]
Movie: The Three Stooges
Moe's Hip Executive: [the audience says Bravo! as the stage lights reveal the audience portion of the studio, with Moe unaware that he was taking part in an audition after Larry and Curly have just left]Brilliant, just brilliant! What an original way to showcase your personality by putting on a skit!
Executive: Very smart!
Moe: Huh?
Moe's Hip Executive: That is exactly what we're looking for! Someone who's not afraid of confrontation, who's passionate about his opinions, right or wrong.
Executive: That's what America craves!
Moe: What are you flappin' about?
Executive: Oh, he's beautiful!
Moe's Hip Executive: Congratulations, sir; You are the newest cast member of the world's number-one rated reality show! [the audience applauds, Moe gasps with surprise]
Executive: Very smart!
Moe: Huh?
Moe's Hip Executive: That is exactly what we're looking for! Someone who's not afraid of confrontation, who's passionate about his opinions, right or wrong.
Executive: That's what America craves!
Moe: What are you flappin' about?
Executive: Oh, he's beautiful!
Moe's Hip Executive: Congratulations, sir; You are the newest cast member of the world's number-one rated reality show! [the audience applauds, Moe gasps with surprise]
Movie: The Three Stooges
Curly: [Curly and Larry are standing next to an ice-cream cooler cart]Ninety percent off all our treats, folks!
Larry: We got chocolate, vanilla, strawberry! No reasonable offer will be refused!
Curly: It's remarkable! It's refreshing!
Curly: [Larry lifts the cooler lid]Nyah-ah! It's repulsive!
Curly: [Larry slaps Curly]Grr! What was that for?
Larry: I told you we'd need more ice. Hey look, a zoo! What do you say we go in and chisel a lunch?
Curly: All right.
Larry: We got chocolate, vanilla, strawberry! No reasonable offer will be refused!
Curly: It's remarkable! It's refreshing!
Curly: [Larry lifts the cooler lid]Nyah-ah! It's repulsive!
Curly: [Larry slaps Curly]Grr! What was that for?
Larry: I told you we'd need more ice. Hey look, a zoo! What do you say we go in and chisel a lunch?
Curly: All right.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: Need some help, folks, looking for our missing friend. $3.50 reward, dead or alive.
Curly: Here you are, pal, we're missing our pal. Thank you, sir.
Larry: Hey, get over there and staple up the rest of these flyers on the pronto.
Staple in Hat Guy: [Curly hums as he staples posters to a couple of trees, then accidentally nails one on the back of a man's head]Ow!
Curly: Oh, oh...
Staple in Hat Guy: Thanks a lot, buddy, now I got a hole in my head.
Larry: Hey, quit screwing with the public. [Larry slaps Curly]
Curly: Grr, cut it out! Who do you think you are, huh?
Larry: Oh, I see: When Moe slugs you, it's okay, but when Larry does it, it's not good enough!
Curly: No, no, no Larry, it's good enough, it's just that... you're not doing it right. When Moe hits me, it's just... I don't know, better, you know?
Larry: Ah, you got rocks in your head, I'm hitting you just the same.
Curly: No, you're not: you do this, [Curly punches Larry in the ribs and hits Larry's face with a light uppercut]
Curly: And Moe does this. [Curly hits Larry in the stomach with a thud, and gives Larry a harder uppercut punch to the face with a bonk]
Curly: And Moe doesn't do this, [Curly hits Larry on the nose with a fist]
Curly: He does this. [Curly hits Larry's nose again a little harder, with a honking sound effect]
Curly: You see?
Larry: Ah, you're right. Come on, think. Where would we go if we was Moe? [Final Jeopardy think music plays in the background]
Curly: Home!
Larry: Home, yeah. [Larry and Curly walk off in separate directions; Larry whistles and Curly turns around, following Larry]
Curly: Here you are, pal, we're missing our pal. Thank you, sir.
Larry: Hey, get over there and staple up the rest of these flyers on the pronto.
Staple in Hat Guy: [Curly hums as he staples posters to a couple of trees, then accidentally nails one on the back of a man's head]Ow!
Curly: Oh, oh...
Staple in Hat Guy: Thanks a lot, buddy, now I got a hole in my head.
Larry: Hey, quit screwing with the public. [Larry slaps Curly]
Curly: Grr, cut it out! Who do you think you are, huh?
Larry: Oh, I see: When Moe slugs you, it's okay, but when Larry does it, it's not good enough!
Curly: No, no, no Larry, it's good enough, it's just that... you're not doing it right. When Moe hits me, it's just... I don't know, better, you know?
Larry: Ah, you got rocks in your head, I'm hitting you just the same.
Curly: No, you're not: you do this, [Curly punches Larry in the ribs and hits Larry's face with a light uppercut]
Curly: And Moe does this. [Curly hits Larry in the stomach with a thud, and gives Larry a harder uppercut punch to the face with a bonk]
Curly: And Moe doesn't do this, [Curly hits Larry on the nose with a fist]
Curly: He does this. [Curly hits Larry's nose again a little harder, with a honking sound effect]
Curly: You see?
Larry: Ah, you're right. Come on, think. Where would we go if we was Moe? [Final Jeopardy think music plays in the background]
Curly: Home!
Larry: Home, yeah. [Larry and Curly walk off in separate directions; Larry whistles and Curly turns around, following Larry]
Movie: The Three Stooges
Young Moe: [looking into Mary-Mengele's mouth]Huh, I haven't seen a case like this in years.
Young Curly: And would you look at all that metal in her mouth?
Young Larry: Must be too much iron in the water.
Young Moe: Don't you worry, Sis, you're in good hands. We'll have that bum tooth out in no time.
Sister Mary-Mengele: [moans]No.
Young Moe: Anesthetic.
Young Larry: Anesthetic!
Young Curly: Anesthetic!
Young Moe: [Curly picks up a croquet mallet]15 millgrams. Give!
Young Curly: Five, ten, fifteen! Nyuk, nyuk.
Mother Superior: [Curly hits Mary-Mengele on the head with the croquet mallet, she goes unconscious; Mother Superior knocks on the door]Boys?
Young Moe ,
Young Curly ,
Young Larry: Nyuh-uh-uh!
Mother Superior: Open up, please.
Young Moe: It's the head penguin, boxcar seven on three. Break; one, two, three.
Mother Superior: [the Stooges flip the rotating table, revealing a dinner table underneath]I said, open this door!
Mother Superior: [Mother Superior opens Mary-Mengele's office door; Larry plays the violin off-key, Curlypaints a picture, Moe reads a book]What are you three up to?
Young Larry: Just dabbling in the arts.
Young Curly: Indubitably.
Mother Superior: Oh. Well, lunch is ready.
Young Moe ,
Young Curly ,
Young Larry: Oh boy, eats! Woo-woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo-woo! [Moe, Larry and Curly run down to the dining hall]
Young Curly: And would you look at all that metal in her mouth?
Young Larry: Must be too much iron in the water.
Young Moe: Don't you worry, Sis, you're in good hands. We'll have that bum tooth out in no time.
Sister Mary-Mengele: [moans]No.
Young Moe: Anesthetic.
Young Larry: Anesthetic!
Young Curly: Anesthetic!
Young Moe: [Curly picks up a croquet mallet]15 millgrams. Give!
Young Curly: Five, ten, fifteen! Nyuk, nyuk.
Mother Superior: [Curly hits Mary-Mengele on the head with the croquet mallet, she goes unconscious; Mother Superior knocks on the door]Boys?
Young Moe ,
Young Curly ,
Young Larry: Nyuh-uh-uh!
Mother Superior: Open up, please.
Young Moe: It's the head penguin, boxcar seven on three. Break; one, two, three.
Mother Superior: [the Stooges flip the rotating table, revealing a dinner table underneath]I said, open this door!
Mother Superior: [Mother Superior opens Mary-Mengele's office door; Larry plays the violin off-key, Curlypaints a picture, Moe reads a book]What are you three up to?
Young Larry: Just dabbling in the arts.
Young Curly: Indubitably.
Mother Superior: Oh. Well, lunch is ready.
Young Moe ,
Young Curly ,
Young Larry: Oh boy, eats! Woo-woo-woo-woo, woo-woo-woo-woo! [Moe, Larry and Curly run down to the dining hall]
Movie: The Three Stooges
[first lines]Sister Mary-Mengele: [an orphan says We're not just orphans as the orphans play a game of kick the can; Sister Mary-Mengele blows her whistle]Everybody inside! Come on, time for your chores!
Murph: But Sister Mary-Mengele, the game's tied! Can't we just play another couple of minutes? Please?
Sister Mary-Mengele: No, you can't. Now get inside! And pick up that soccer can and put it back in the equipment shed where it belongs!
Peezer: Wait a second, Sis, you gotta hear us out!
Murph: [sings]We didn't ask for this
Peezer: [sings]We didn't pray for this
Hipster Orphan: [sings]I may not have a sis, or know my mother's kiss
Orphan chorus: [the orphans sing and dance]But that doesn't matter, because... Everybody is special, we're not inconsequential...
Sister Mary-Mengele: [song ends]Shut up! What do you think this is, 'The Sound Of Music'? Get in there! Come on, enough with the singing! Come on, come on, move it! No wonder your parents didn't want youse.
Sister Mary-Mengele: [a car drives by and leaves a duffle bag on the doorstep; Mary-Mengele opens it, and one of the baby Stooges pokes her, knocking her over the stone railing]Aagh! Ohh!
Murph: But Sister Mary-Mengele, the game's tied! Can't we just play another couple of minutes? Please?
Sister Mary-Mengele: No, you can't. Now get inside! And pick up that soccer can and put it back in the equipment shed where it belongs!
Peezer: Wait a second, Sis, you gotta hear us out!
Murph: [sings]We didn't ask for this
Peezer: [sings]We didn't pray for this
Hipster Orphan: [sings]I may not have a sis, or know my mother's kiss
Orphan chorus: [the orphans sing and dance]But that doesn't matter, because... Everybody is special, we're not inconsequential...
Sister Mary-Mengele: [song ends]Shut up! What do you think this is, 'The Sound Of Music'? Get in there! Come on, enough with the singing! Come on, come on, move it! No wonder your parents didn't want youse.
Sister Mary-Mengele: [a car drives by and leaves a duffle bag on the doorstep; Mary-Mengele opens it, and one of the baby Stooges pokes her, knocking her over the stone railing]Aagh! Ohh!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Mother Superior: [sees the Stooges beating up Monsignor Ratliffe and chases them away]Get off of him! Off, off! Oh, I'm so sorry! Oopsie-daisy! Oh, oh, I'm so sorry! What are you doing?
Larry: We caught this lounge lizard getting all handsy with the nuns!
Mother Superior: This is no lounge lizard! He's here on official business.
Curly: Official business? Why didn't you say so?
Larry: [the Stooges take off their work uniforms, with boxer shorts, white shirts and bowties underneath; they clap and snap their fingers in rhythm]Pick me, I'll clip your hedges!
Moe: I'll hedge your clippers.
Curly: I'll fetch your slippers.
Moe: I'll scrub the stench right off them dentures!
Monsignor Ratliffe: You idiots! [Msgr. Ratliffe slaps all three of them at once]
Monsignor Ratliffe: I'm not here to adopt!
Mother Superior: This is Monsignor Ratliffe from the diocese.
Moe: Oh, sorry about that, Se±or Ratlips.
Larry: We caught this lounge lizard getting all handsy with the nuns!
Mother Superior: This is no lounge lizard! He's here on official business.
Curly: Official business? Why didn't you say so?
Larry: [the Stooges take off their work uniforms, with boxer shorts, white shirts and bowties underneath; they clap and snap their fingers in rhythm]Pick me, I'll clip your hedges!
Moe: I'll hedge your clippers.
Curly: I'll fetch your slippers.
Moe: I'll scrub the stench right off them dentures!
Monsignor Ratliffe: You idiots! [Msgr. Ratliffe slaps all three of them at once]
Monsignor Ratliffe: I'm not here to adopt!
Mother Superior: This is Monsignor Ratliffe from the diocese.
Moe: Oh, sorry about that, Se±or Ratlips.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: We'll climb mountains!
Moe: We'll forge rivers!
Curly: We'll forge checks, nyuk nyuk nyuk.
Moe: We'll forge rivers!
Curly: We'll forge checks, nyuk nyuk nyuk.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Moe: Boy, what a hothead.
Larry: Women!
Moe: Wait a second, with her hubby laid out in the hospital nursing them tire tracks, it'll be easy pickings to slide a pillow over the poor schlump's face and give him the surprise sendoff he wanted!
Larry: Good thinking! We'll be doing the guy a favor and making enough money to save the orphanage! It's like killing two birds with one pillow!
Moe: It's colossal!
Larry: It's stupendous!
Curly: It's even mediocre!
Curly: [Moe honks Curly's nose]Ow!
Moe: Say ah.
Curly: Ahh...
Larry ,
Curly: [Moe grabs Curly by the lip and Larry by the nose]Nyah-ah-ahh!
Moe: Come on!
Larry: Women!
Moe: Wait a second, with her hubby laid out in the hospital nursing them tire tracks, it'll be easy pickings to slide a pillow over the poor schlump's face and give him the surprise sendoff he wanted!
Larry: Good thinking! We'll be doing the guy a favor and making enough money to save the orphanage! It's like killing two birds with one pillow!
Moe: It's colossal!
Larry: It's stupendous!
Curly: It's even mediocre!
Curly: [Moe honks Curly's nose]Ow!
Moe: Say ah.
Curly: Ahh...
Larry ,
Curly: [Moe grabs Curly by the lip and Larry by the nose]Nyah-ah-ahh!
Moe: Come on!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Curly: [the Stooges have just entered a room]Oh, that was a close one.
Moe: What is that? What's with the light?
Larry: I got a better question: Why didn't we go live with Teddy when we had the chance? Now we got no Teddy, no seed money, no nothing.
Curly: Yeah, shame on you, Moe. You put your pride ahead of them kids.
Moe: How dare you accuse me of having pride?
Curly: Mm-mm.
Moe: Back off.
Curly: I won't.
Moe: Okay kid, you got me. You know, I'm proud of you for finally standing up for yourself. Let's shake on it. [Moe shakes Curly's hand]
Curly: Oh.
Moe: There you go. [Moe shoves Curly away]
Moe: Get out of here!
Moe: [to Larry]This is all your fault!
Larry: Me?
Curly: Oh, oh! [Curly rebounds from hitting a steel pillar and knocks Moe over from behind]
Moe: You start with a - Oh, sneaking up on me, eh? [Moe slaps Larry and Curly]
Moe: And you! Get over here! [Moe pulls Larry's hair, then hits Curly in the gut and then over the head with his two fists]
Curly: Ohh, ohh!
Moe: What's the matter with you? Whoa, whoa! [Larry pokes Moe in the eyes,knocking him backwards over Curly and into a steel pillar]
Moe: Why you - ! [Moe picks up a block-and tackle cargo hook and aims for Curly's head]
Curly: Moe, not that! Anything but that! Nyah-ahh-ahh! [the hook misses Curly and hits Larry in the head]
Moe: What is that? What's with the light?
Larry: I got a better question: Why didn't we go live with Teddy when we had the chance? Now we got no Teddy, no seed money, no nothing.
Curly: Yeah, shame on you, Moe. You put your pride ahead of them kids.
Moe: How dare you accuse me of having pride?
Curly: Mm-mm.
Moe: Back off.
Curly: I won't.
Moe: Okay kid, you got me. You know, I'm proud of you for finally standing up for yourself. Let's shake on it. [Moe shakes Curly's hand]
Curly: Oh.
Moe: There you go. [Moe shoves Curly away]
Moe: Get out of here!
Moe: [to Larry]This is all your fault!
Larry: Me?
Curly: Oh, oh! [Curly rebounds from hitting a steel pillar and knocks Moe over from behind]
Moe: You start with a - Oh, sneaking up on me, eh? [Moe slaps Larry and Curly]
Moe: And you! Get over here! [Moe pulls Larry's hair, then hits Curly in the gut and then over the head with his two fists]
Curly: Ohh, ohh!
Moe: What's the matter with you? Whoa, whoa! [Larry pokes Moe in the eyes,knocking him backwards over Curly and into a steel pillar]
Moe: Why you - ! [Moe picks up a block-and tackle cargo hook and aims for Curly's head]
Curly: Moe, not that! Anything but that! Nyah-ahh-ahh! [the hook misses Curly and hits Larry in the head]
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: [Larry and Curly enter the orphanage]Hello?
Curly: Anybody home? [a TV commercial voice can be heard: Hi, I'm Al Cerrone. Four-wheel drive SUVs just like this, with a gas saving, six-cylinder engine, only $19,995; and pickups, automatic and air, only $16,000. My promise is you'll be...]
Larry: Sister Ricarda.
Sister Ricarda: Boys, what are you doing here?
Curly: We've been looking everywhere for Moe. Have you seen him?
Sister Ricarda: Yeah, I - I see him almost every night on TV. He's on that Jersey... beach people show.
Sister Ricarda: [Larry and Curly look at each other with surprise]You didn't know? Moe's a big celebrity now.
Curly: Oh... good for him.
Larry: Yeah... looks like he didn't need us after all... So, what happened here? Where are all the kids?
Sister Ricarda: Well, they're closing us down on Monday, so... we had to start moving everyone out.
Larry: But we told you to wait! We were gonna get the money!
Sister Ricarda: You got the money?
Curly: We got the money?
Larry: Well... no... but we're working on it.
Curly ,
Sister Ricarda: Oh. Oh.
Peezer: Well, at least you tried.
Larry ,
Curly: Peez! [Larry and Curly chuckle, Larry gives Peezer a high five]
Larry: Thank God you're still here!
Peezer: They tried to shoo me out, but I told them I wasn't leaving without her.
Curly: Without who? [Larry, Curly, and Peezer go into the next room where Mother Superior is praying at Murph's bedside]
Curly: Murph?
Mother Superior: I'm sorry, boys, Murph is very ill.
Larry: Why isn't she in a hospital?
Mother Superior: Well...
Sister Mary-Mengele: [Mary-Mengele interrupts Mother Superior]I'll tell you why... Because we don't have any medical
Curly: Anybody home? [a TV commercial voice can be heard: Hi, I'm Al Cerrone. Four-wheel drive SUVs just like this, with a gas saving, six-cylinder engine, only $19,995; and pickups, automatic and air, only $16,000. My promise is you'll be...]
Larry: Sister Ricarda.
Sister Ricarda: Boys, what are you doing here?
Curly: We've been looking everywhere for Moe. Have you seen him?
Sister Ricarda: Yeah, I - I see him almost every night on TV. He's on that Jersey... beach people show.
Sister Ricarda: [Larry and Curly look at each other with surprise]You didn't know? Moe's a big celebrity now.
Curly: Oh... good for him.
Larry: Yeah... looks like he didn't need us after all... So, what happened here? Where are all the kids?
Sister Ricarda: Well, they're closing us down on Monday, so... we had to start moving everyone out.
Larry: But we told you to wait! We were gonna get the money!
Sister Ricarda: You got the money?
Curly: We got the money?
Larry: Well... no... but we're working on it.
Curly ,
Sister Ricarda: Oh. Oh.
Peezer: Well, at least you tried.
Larry ,
Curly: Peez! [Larry and Curly chuckle, Larry gives Peezer a high five]
Larry: Thank God you're still here!
Peezer: They tried to shoo me out, but I told them I wasn't leaving without her.
Curly: Without who? [Larry, Curly, and Peezer go into the next room where Mother Superior is praying at Murph's bedside]
Curly: Murph?
Mother Superior: I'm sorry, boys, Murph is very ill.
Larry: Why isn't she in a hospital?
Mother Superior: Well...
Sister Mary-Mengele: [Mary-Mengele interrupts Mother Superior]I'll tell you why... Because we don't have any medical
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: 830,000 bucks. We prefer it in hundreds, folks.
Larry: [Larry sees an archery bow on the sidewalk]Hm.
Larry: [Larry picks up the bow, stretches its bowstring to test it, then shoots an arrow into the air]Wow, in the wrong hands, this thing could be dangerous.
Larry: [Larry sees an archery bow on the sidewalk]Hm.
Larry: [Larry picks up the bow, stretches its bowstring to test it, then shoots an arrow into the air]Wow, in the wrong hands, this thing could be dangerous.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: Guys, we've been at this for days now, and all I got is a hole in my shoe.
Moe: [Larry lifts his foot to reveal a hole in his shoe's sole, which is worn out]Aw, the kid's right, there must be a better way to make a living. Come on, think!
Curly: [Final Jeopardy think music plays in the background as the Stooges pace around while Curly hums, then gasps]No, no...
Curly: [Curly resumes humming, then snaps his fingers; then he goes to the sidewalk and starts spinning about on his side as if he was break-dancing]Woo! Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo! Woo-woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo!
Larry: Look, he's on to something!
Moe: Spit it out, tiger!
Curly: [Curly rubs his butt on the sidewalk]I can't, it's stuck! Jar it loose, Moe!
Curly: [Moe hits Curly on the back of his neck]What about a job where you could sleep all day, meet beautiful babes at night, and make millions for doing absolutely nothing?
Moe: Oh boy, that's genius! So, what's the job?
Curly: That is the job!
Moe: Oh that - And who's going to pay you?
Curly: The boss!
Larry: You know, it's just crazy enough to work!
Moe: Why you...! [Moe pokes Curly in the eyes]
Curly: Ohh!
Moe: And you! Ow! [Moe tries to poke Larry, but he ends up hitting Larry's sandwich board sign, Larry laughs]
Moe: Come on in here! [Moe knocks Larry's and Curly's heads together]
Curly: Oh, oh, oh! Oh look, Moe, I think we got a customer!
Moe: [Larry lifts his foot to reveal a hole in his shoe's sole, which is worn out]Aw, the kid's right, there must be a better way to make a living. Come on, think!
Curly: [Final Jeopardy think music plays in the background as the Stooges pace around while Curly hums, then gasps]No, no...
Curly: [Curly resumes humming, then snaps his fingers; then he goes to the sidewalk and starts spinning about on his side as if he was break-dancing]Woo! Woo-woo-woo-woo-woo-woo! Woo-woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo!
Larry: Look, he's on to something!
Moe: Spit it out, tiger!
Curly: [Curly rubs his butt on the sidewalk]I can't, it's stuck! Jar it loose, Moe!
Curly: [Moe hits Curly on the back of his neck]What about a job where you could sleep all day, meet beautiful babes at night, and make millions for doing absolutely nothing?
Moe: Oh boy, that's genius! So, what's the job?
Curly: That is the job!
Moe: Oh that - And who's going to pay you?
Curly: The boss!
Larry: You know, it's just crazy enough to work!
Moe: Why you...! [Moe pokes Curly in the eyes]
Curly: Ohh!
Moe: And you! Ow! [Moe tries to poke Larry, but he ends up hitting Larry's sandwich board sign, Larry laughs]
Moe: Come on in here! [Moe knocks Larry's and Curly's heads together]
Curly: Oh, oh, oh! Oh look, Moe, I think we got a customer!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Curly: Oh, oh look Moe, I think we got a customer! [the theme from Perry Mason plays in the background]
Larry: Whoa, would you look at those getaway sticks!
Curly: Rowf, rowf, rowf! [Curly pants like a dog]
Moe: Spread out!
Moe: [Lydia approaches]I'm the foreman here, what can we do for you?
Lydia: I'll pay you $830,000 for a job that won't take you more than 10 minutes.
Curly: Oh, we'll take it. Who do we have to murder?
Lydia: [the Stooges chuckle]My husband.
Larry ,
Curly ,
Moe: Nyah-aah-aah! [Curly's teeth chatter nervously]
Moe: Sorry lady, you came to the wrong place; we're working stiffs, not common crooks!
Lydia: But you don't understand, you will be doing him a great service.
Larry: Says who?
Mac: [Mac gets out of the car]Says me.
Moe: Who are you?
Mac: I'm her husband. [Mac kisses Lydia]
Larry: Wait a minute, you mean to tell me she's planning your funeral, and you're okay with it?
Mac: Well, I know it all sounds a bit peculiar...
Curly: No no no, that doesn't sound peculiar, this sounds peculiar. [Curly puts his hands to his head and shakes it around, chuckles]
Mac: [Mac groans as if he's in pain]Ow!
Lydia: My husband is suffering from an incurable disease that eventually will kill him.
Mac: Unfortunately, it could take a year, possibly more. Pain increasing daily... till I lapse into an irreversible coma.
Curly: I had that, only it was just in my feet, yeah. It's called coma-toes. [Larry and Curly laugh]
Moe: [Moe laughs sarcastically]Oh, coma-toes, huh?
Curly: Yeah.
Curly: [Moe stomps on Curly's toes]Ohh!
Larry: Whoa, would you look at those getaway sticks!
Curly: Rowf, rowf, rowf! [Curly pants like a dog]
Moe: Spread out!
Moe: [Lydia approaches]I'm the foreman here, what can we do for you?
Lydia: I'll pay you $830,000 for a job that won't take you more than 10 minutes.
Curly: Oh, we'll take it. Who do we have to murder?
Lydia: [the Stooges chuckle]My husband.
Larry ,
Curly ,
Moe: Nyah-aah-aah! [Curly's teeth chatter nervously]
Moe: Sorry lady, you came to the wrong place; we're working stiffs, not common crooks!
Lydia: But you don't understand, you will be doing him a great service.
Larry: Says who?
Mac: [Mac gets out of the car]Says me.
Moe: Who are you?
Mac: I'm her husband. [Mac kisses Lydia]
Larry: Wait a minute, you mean to tell me she's planning your funeral, and you're okay with it?
Mac: Well, I know it all sounds a bit peculiar...
Curly: No no no, that doesn't sound peculiar, this sounds peculiar. [Curly puts his hands to his head and shakes it around, chuckles]
Mac: [Mac groans as if he's in pain]Ow!
Lydia: My husband is suffering from an incurable disease that eventually will kill him.
Mac: Unfortunately, it could take a year, possibly more. Pain increasing daily... till I lapse into an irreversible coma.
Curly: I had that, only it was just in my feet, yeah. It's called coma-toes. [Larry and Curly laugh]
Moe: [Moe laughs sarcastically]Oh, coma-toes, huh?
Curly: Yeah.
Curly: [Moe stomps on Curly's toes]Ohh!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Mac: Ohh!
Lydia: My husband is suffering from an incurable disease that eventually will kill him.
Mac: Unfortunately, it could take a year, possibly more, pain increasing daily until I lapse into an irreversible coma.
Curly: I had that, only it was just in my feet, yeah. It's called coma-toes. [Larry and Curly laugh]
Moe: [Moe laughs sarcastically]Oh, coma-toes, huh?
Curly: Yeah.
Curly: [Moe stomps on Curly's toes]Ohh!
Moe: Are they awake now? [Curly growls]
Mac: Gentlemen, [the Stooges look around, unaware that Mac is referring to them]
Mac: Gentlemen.
Curly ,
Moe ,
Larry: Oh.
Mac: I'm sure you can understand why I... prefer to leave this world on my own terms, rather than spend the rest of my life a vegetable.
Moe: I don't know, it sounds illegal.
Larry: Wait a minute, legs. Did you say $830,000 bucks?
Lydia: I did.
Larry: [Larry whistles Whew]That's a good day's pay.
Curly: Hey, wait a minute, fellas. That's exactly the amount of money we' re looking for.
Moe: You're right. This must be fate, time-bomb. You can count us in!
Mac: [the Stooges shake Mac's hand]Ah, that's swell.
Lydia: My husband is suffering from an incurable disease that eventually will kill him.
Mac: Unfortunately, it could take a year, possibly more, pain increasing daily until I lapse into an irreversible coma.
Curly: I had that, only it was just in my feet, yeah. It's called coma-toes. [Larry and Curly laugh]
Moe: [Moe laughs sarcastically]Oh, coma-toes, huh?
Curly: Yeah.
Curly: [Moe stomps on Curly's toes]Ohh!
Moe: Are they awake now? [Curly growls]
Mac: Gentlemen, [the Stooges look around, unaware that Mac is referring to them]
Mac: Gentlemen.
Curly ,
Moe ,
Larry: Oh.
Mac: I'm sure you can understand why I... prefer to leave this world on my own terms, rather than spend the rest of my life a vegetable.
Moe: I don't know, it sounds illegal.
Larry: Wait a minute, legs. Did you say $830,000 bucks?
Lydia: I did.
Larry: [Larry whistles Whew]That's a good day's pay.
Curly: Hey, wait a minute, fellas. That's exactly the amount of money we' re looking for.
Moe: You're right. This must be fate, time-bomb. You can count us in!
Mac: [the Stooges shake Mac's hand]Ah, that's swell.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Mr. Harter: [in the Harters' car]Hey Moe, do you know what day today is?
Young Moe: No clue.
Mr. Harter: It's your birthday.
Young Moe: Really?
Mrs. Harter: Well, to us it is, because today is the day that you came into our lives. So... what would you like as a birthday present?
Young Moe: Aw, I'm good. This - this lollipop's really hitting the spot.
Mr. Harter: [Mrs. Harter gasps, and Mr. Harter chuckles]Oh now, come on. come on, there's gotta be something that would make your birthday complete. Just go crazy, champ, anything your heart desires.
Young Moe: Well, when you put it that way... [Moe whispers into Mrs. Harter's ear]
Mr. Harter: Well, what is it?
Mrs. Harter: He, uh... he wants us to go back and get his two friends.
Mr. Harter: Oh, Moe, heh, three youngsters are an awful lot to take on, like, all at once.
Young Moe: Oh, don't you see, Pop? That's the beauty of it. It's not gonna cost you a dime extra. Them two termites can bunk with me. I'll even split my meals with them.
Mr. Harter: Yeah, I don't know, Moe, it's just...
Young Moe: And you don't have to worry about sending them to fancy schools, 'cause they're not interested in reading or numbers. Heavy lifting and ditch digging, that's their dream.
Mr. Harter: Wow, those guys really mean a lot to you, don't they?
Young Moe: They're all I've ever had.
Mrs. Harter: Moe's right, honey. We can't possibly separate these three boys.
Young Moe: There we go! That's my mom talking.
Young Moe: [Mr. and Mrs. Harter drop Moe off back at the orphanage, deciding to adopt Young Teddy instead]Forget it! It was a bad idea! I don't want nothing! Mommy! Daddy! Please!
Young Moe: [sadly]Don;t go.
Young Moe: No clue.
Mr. Harter: It's your birthday.
Young Moe: Really?
Mrs. Harter: Well, to us it is, because today is the day that you came into our lives. So... what would you like as a birthday present?
Young Moe: Aw, I'm good. This - this lollipop's really hitting the spot.
Mr. Harter: [Mrs. Harter gasps, and Mr. Harter chuckles]Oh now, come on. come on, there's gotta be something that would make your birthday complete. Just go crazy, champ, anything your heart desires.
Young Moe: Well, when you put it that way... [Moe whispers into Mrs. Harter's ear]
Mr. Harter: Well, what is it?
Mrs. Harter: He, uh... he wants us to go back and get his two friends.
Mr. Harter: Oh, Moe, heh, three youngsters are an awful lot to take on, like, all at once.
Young Moe: Oh, don't you see, Pop? That's the beauty of it. It's not gonna cost you a dime extra. Them two termites can bunk with me. I'll even split my meals with them.
Mr. Harter: Yeah, I don't know, Moe, it's just...
Young Moe: And you don't have to worry about sending them to fancy schools, 'cause they're not interested in reading or numbers. Heavy lifting and ditch digging, that's their dream.
Mr. Harter: Wow, those guys really mean a lot to you, don't they?
Young Moe: They're all I've ever had.
Mrs. Harter: Moe's right, honey. We can't possibly separate these three boys.
Young Moe: There we go! That's my mom talking.
Young Moe: [Mr. and Mrs. Harter drop Moe off back at the orphanage, deciding to adopt Young Teddy instead]Forget it! It was a bad idea! I don't want nothing! Mommy! Daddy! Please!
Young Moe: [sadly]Don;t go.
Movie: The Three Stooges