The Three Stooges Quotes
Young Moe: If you fellas are ever out in horse country, shopping for a polo pony, you'll, uh, look me up, right?
Young Larry: Sure, Moe. [Curly sniffles]
Young Larry: We'll... you know, keep in touch.
Young Moe: Aw, quit your blubbering! What are you trying to do, rain on my parade?
Young Curly: No Moe, these are tears of joy, honest!
Young Moe: [softly]Sorry.
Young Moe: You fellas mind if I have something to remember you by?
Young Larry: You name it, Moe.
Young Larry: [Moe pulls a tuft of Larry's hair]Oooh!
Young Moe: Come here, ground hog. [Moe pulls some nasal hairs from Curly's nostrils, since Curly is bald]
Young Curly: Oh!
Young Moe: Thanks, fellas.
Young Larry: Sure, Moe. [Curly sniffles]
Young Larry: We'll... you know, keep in touch.
Young Moe: Aw, quit your blubbering! What are you trying to do, rain on my parade?
Young Curly: No Moe, these are tears of joy, honest!
Young Moe: [softly]Sorry.
Young Moe: You fellas mind if I have something to remember you by?
Young Larry: You name it, Moe.
Young Larry: [Moe pulls a tuft of Larry's hair]Oooh!
Young Moe: Come here, ground hog. [Moe pulls some nasal hairs from Curly's nostrils, since Curly is bald]
Young Curly: Oh!
Young Moe: Thanks, fellas.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Young Moe: [Moe musically chants barbershop-quartet style]Hello,
Young Moe ,
Young Larry: [Larry joins Moe in chanting]Hello,
Young Moe ,
Young Larry ,
Young Curly: [Curly joins Larry and Moe as they chant together]Hello.
Young Moe ,
Young Larry ,
Young Curly: [spoken]Hello!
Mrs. Harter: [Mrs. Harter giggles; the young Stooges accidentally bump their heads together]How precious!
Sister Rosemary: Yes, I certainly don't envy you having to choose between such amazing children.
Young Larry: The choice is easy! I'm your guy! [Larry starts tap dancing]
Mrs. Harter: That is so cute!
Mr. Harter: Absolutely adorable.
Mr. Harter: [to Mother Superior]How long's he got?
Mother Superior: Hmm?
Mr. Harter: He's taking chemo, right?
Mother Superior: No no no, he's healthy as a mule.
Sister Rosemary: And almost as smart.
Young Moe: Recede, Bojangles. [Moe pulls Larry back by his hair]
Young Moe: Pick me, I make the best potato peel and eggshell smoothies in town. [Mr. Harter chuckles nervously]
Young Curly: If you choose me, I'll let you play with my pet rat, Nippy! I even taught him a few tricks!
Mother Superior: Oh, boys and their rodents. [Mother Superior chuckles]
Young Teddy: [Teddy enters the room]Mother Superior, may I have a glass of milk, please?
Mrs. Harter: Oh, who's this?
Young Teddy: Hi, my name's Teddy, and someday, I'm gonna have a puppy.
Mrs. Harter: Oh my God, he's wonderful.
Mr. Harter: I thought you said there were only the three.
Sister Rosemary: I never said that, I said about three.
Young Moe ,
Young Larry: [Larry joins Moe in chanting]Hello,
Young Moe ,
Young Larry ,
Young Curly: [Curly joins Larry and Moe as they chant together]Hello.
Young Moe ,
Young Larry ,
Young Curly: [spoken]Hello!
Mrs. Harter: [Mrs. Harter giggles; the young Stooges accidentally bump their heads together]How precious!
Sister Rosemary: Yes, I certainly don't envy you having to choose between such amazing children.
Young Larry: The choice is easy! I'm your guy! [Larry starts tap dancing]
Mrs. Harter: That is so cute!
Mr. Harter: Absolutely adorable.
Mr. Harter: [to Mother Superior]How long's he got?
Mother Superior: Hmm?
Mr. Harter: He's taking chemo, right?
Mother Superior: No no no, he's healthy as a mule.
Sister Rosemary: And almost as smart.
Young Moe: Recede, Bojangles. [Moe pulls Larry back by his hair]
Young Moe: Pick me, I make the best potato peel and eggshell smoothies in town. [Mr. Harter chuckles nervously]
Young Curly: If you choose me, I'll let you play with my pet rat, Nippy! I even taught him a few tricks!
Mother Superior: Oh, boys and their rodents. [Mother Superior chuckles]
Young Teddy: [Teddy enters the room]Mother Superior, may I have a glass of milk, please?
Mrs. Harter: Oh, who's this?
Young Teddy: Hi, my name's Teddy, and someday, I'm gonna have a puppy.
Mrs. Harter: Oh my God, he's wonderful.
Mr. Harter: I thought you said there were only the three.
Sister Rosemary: I never said that, I said about three.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Mrs. Harter: I hope you'll forgive us for coming early; we just couldn't stand to wait another day.
Mother Superior: Oh, we understand, Mrs. Harter. This is a great surprise. We have three delightful youngsters for you to meet.
Mr. Harter: Three? 'Cause we were under the impression there were more than that.
Sister Rosemary: Nope, that's it, just the three. Children, get on in here, Mr. and Mrs. Harter don't have all day.
Young Moe: [Moe musically chants barbershop-quartet style]Hello,
Young Moe ,
Young Larry: [Larry joins Moe in chanting]Hello,
Young Moe ,
Young Larry ,
Young Curly: [Curly joins Larry and Moe as they chant together]Hello.
Young Moe ,
Young Larry ,
Young Curly: [spoken]Hello!
Mother Superior: Oh, we understand, Mrs. Harter. This is a great surprise. We have three delightful youngsters for you to meet.
Mr. Harter: Three? 'Cause we were under the impression there were more than that.
Sister Rosemary: Nope, that's it, just the three. Children, get on in here, Mr. and Mrs. Harter don't have all day.
Young Moe: [Moe musically chants barbershop-quartet style]Hello,
Young Moe ,
Young Larry: [Larry joins Moe in chanting]Hello,
Young Moe ,
Young Larry ,
Young Curly: [Curly joins Larry and Moe as they chant together]Hello.
Young Moe ,
Young Larry ,
Young Curly: [spoken]Hello!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Peezer: Here you go, Murph, look what I brought you.
Murph: Oh boy, cheese! [Murph starts eating the cheese]
Murph: Where did you snag this from?
Peezer: Mousetraps up in the attic. [Murph spits out the cheese and coughs into a Kleenex]
Murph: Ohh! Ohh, ohh.
Peezer: Oh, come on, Murph. You got to keep up your cheese molecules so you can get your strength back.
Murph: Enough with the melodrama.
Peezer: I'm sorry, Murph. It's just, ever since my brother, Weezer, got shipped to that foster home, you're all I got.
Murph: Oh Peez, come on. Don't start feeling sorry for yourself again. You think you're the only kid in the world who ever watched his parents drown, then got sent to an orphanage, then a couple weeks later, had his only brother dragged away kicking and screaming? Dude, it happens.
Peezer: Yeah, I know I'm being a wuss again.
Murph: Look Peez, I'm not going anywhere. You and me, we're family now, we're BFFs forever, just like Moe, Larry, and Curly.
Murph: Oh boy, cheese! [Murph starts eating the cheese]
Murph: Where did you snag this from?
Peezer: Mousetraps up in the attic. [Murph spits out the cheese and coughs into a Kleenex]
Murph: Ohh! Ohh, ohh.
Peezer: Oh, come on, Murph. You got to keep up your cheese molecules so you can get your strength back.
Murph: Enough with the melodrama.
Peezer: I'm sorry, Murph. It's just, ever since my brother, Weezer, got shipped to that foster home, you're all I got.
Murph: Oh Peez, come on. Don't start feeling sorry for yourself again. You think you're the only kid in the world who ever watched his parents drown, then got sent to an orphanage, then a couple weeks later, had his only brother dragged away kicking and screaming? Dude, it happens.
Peezer: Yeah, I know I'm being a wuss again.
Murph: Look Peez, I'm not going anywhere. You and me, we're family now, we're BFFs forever, just like Moe, Larry, and Curly.
Movie: The Three Stooges
[Foster the People's Waste plays throughout the montage; Larry and Curly watch Moe on Jersey Shore on a TV in an electronics store window]Moe: [on Jersey Shore]Is that what you think? Shut up! [Moe slaps Ronnie]
The Situation: Hey, yo! [Moe slaps The Situation]
Moe: You, too! Here's another one! [Moe slaps Ronnie]
Moe: [Moe sits down next to Snooki, who is reading a book]Hiya, Snook, I got you a present.
Snooki: Really? For me?
Moe: Yeah, go on, open it.
Snooki: [Snooki opens the box, and then Moe delivers a finger poke to her eyes when she discovers the box is empty]Ow!
Moe: [Moe laughs, with Curly and Larry chuckling at Moe's antics; the scene changes to Larry and Curly sleeping in a dumpster, with Curly dreaming about dancing around in a field of bubbles with Moe and Larry; the scene shifts back to Moe on the set of Jersey Shore]Why, you...!
Moe: [Moe slaps the side of Ronnie's face and his forehead, then he slaps The Situation's face]There you go!
Moe: [the Jersey Shore producers watch with delight, as Larry and Curly laugh at Moe's antics; Moe waves his hand up and down in front of JWoww's face]Why, you... [Moe lowers his hand to the table, and quickly waves his hand up and down in JWoww's face, making a rhythmic bonking sound; Larry and Curly continue to watch Moe]
Moe: [Moe holds his fist in front of Ronnie; he hits Moe's fist, which curves upward and hits Ronnie on the head]You see that?
The Situation: [Ronnie tries to imitate Moe, only for Moe to knock Ronnie's fist back into his own face]You see that?
Moe: [Moe breaks a pool cue stick on The Situation]Business!
The Situation: Oh!
JWoww: [Moe laughs while he holds a hot curling iron on JWoww's tongue]Umph! Umph!
Moe: [Moe hits The Situation on the nose, then slaps him on the chin]Why, you...!
Moe: [Larry and Curly
The Situation: Hey, yo! [Moe slaps The Situation]
Moe: You, too! Here's another one! [Moe slaps Ronnie]
Moe: [Moe sits down next to Snooki, who is reading a book]Hiya, Snook, I got you a present.
Snooki: Really? For me?
Moe: Yeah, go on, open it.
Snooki: [Snooki opens the box, and then Moe delivers a finger poke to her eyes when she discovers the box is empty]Ow!
Moe: [Moe laughs, with Curly and Larry chuckling at Moe's antics; the scene changes to Larry and Curly sleeping in a dumpster, with Curly dreaming about dancing around in a field of bubbles with Moe and Larry; the scene shifts back to Moe on the set of Jersey Shore]Why, you...!
Moe: [Moe slaps the side of Ronnie's face and his forehead, then he slaps The Situation's face]There you go!
Moe: [the Jersey Shore producers watch with delight, as Larry and Curly laugh at Moe's antics; Moe waves his hand up and down in front of JWoww's face]Why, you... [Moe lowers his hand to the table, and quickly waves his hand up and down in JWoww's face, making a rhythmic bonking sound; Larry and Curly continue to watch Moe]
Moe: [Moe holds his fist in front of Ronnie; he hits Moe's fist, which curves upward and hits Ronnie on the head]You see that?
The Situation: [Ronnie tries to imitate Moe, only for Moe to knock Ronnie's fist back into his own face]You see that?
Moe: [Moe breaks a pool cue stick on The Situation]Business!
The Situation: Oh!
JWoww: [Moe laughs while he holds a hot curling iron on JWoww's tongue]Umph! Umph!
Moe: [Moe hits The Situation on the nose, then slaps him on the chin]Why, you...!
Moe: [Larry and Curly
Movie: The Three Stooges
Ling: [Larry and Curly enter the office building where Teddy works; one sign reads Ditcher, Quick & Hyde: Divorce Lawyers, another sign reads Proba, Keester & Wintz: Proctologists]Kickham, Harter, and Indagroyne, may I help you?
Ling: [on the phone]Yes, I'll connect you now.
Ling: [Ling hangs the phone up]Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but the clown college is on the ninth floor.
Larry: Oh, no, I'm here to see Teddy Harter. Tell him it's his old pal, Larry, from the orphanage.
Ling: Oh, Teddo's not here. He's out making arrangements for his anniversary party.
Larry: All right, then, can I speak to his old man?
Ling: Mr. Harter is at lunch, but he should be back soon.
Larry: Nice glasses.
Ling: Thank you.
Larry: You got a little spot there, let me help you out. [Larry takes Ling's glasses, licking them the with his tongue, followed by a spit-shine, wiping them clean]
Larry: [Larry hands Ling's glasses back to her]There you are, good as new. By the way, do not lick those, I'm just getting over pink-eye.
Ling: [on the phone]Yes, I'll connect you now.
Ling: [Ling hangs the phone up]Oh, I'm sorry, sir, but the clown college is on the ninth floor.
Larry: Oh, no, I'm here to see Teddy Harter. Tell him it's his old pal, Larry, from the orphanage.
Ling: Oh, Teddo's not here. He's out making arrangements for his anniversary party.
Larry: All right, then, can I speak to his old man?
Ling: Mr. Harter is at lunch, but he should be back soon.
Larry: Nice glasses.
Ling: Thank you.
Larry: You got a little spot there, let me help you out. [Larry takes Ling's glasses, licking them the with his tongue, followed by a spit-shine, wiping them clean]
Larry: [Larry hands Ling's glasses back to her]There you are, good as new. By the way, do not lick those, I'm just getting over pink-eye.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Sammi: Now look: either you kick Moe off the show, or we're suing him!
Snooki: Like, with a lawyer!
Moe's Hip Executive: Court sounds okay to me.
Moe's Hip Executive: [to his assistant]You know, we could probably do a cross-promotion with Lockup.
Snooki: Great, just great. So basically, what you're saying is this whole show is about the ratings?
Moe's Hip Executive: Uh, yeah.
Ronnie ,
The Situation: Ohhh! [Ronnie, The Situation and the other cast members groan in annoyance]
Sammi: Unbelievable.
Moe: [pointing to Snooki's Guinness hat]Look, just 'cause she's wearing a genius hat, doesn't mean she is one.
Snooki: Like, with a lawyer!
Moe's Hip Executive: Court sounds okay to me.
Moe's Hip Executive: [to his assistant]You know, we could probably do a cross-promotion with Lockup.
Snooki: Great, just great. So basically, what you're saying is this whole show is about the ratings?
Moe's Hip Executive: Uh, yeah.
Ronnie ,
The Situation: Ohhh! [Ronnie, The Situation and the other cast members groan in annoyance]
Sammi: Unbelievable.
Moe: [pointing to Snooki's Guinness hat]Look, just 'cause she's wearing a genius hat, doesn't mean she is one.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Ronnie: How's that Whynatte?
The Situation: This is, like, my fourth or fifth.
Sammi: What happened last night?
The Situation: What kind of flavor? I like coffee, too.
Moe: Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven, anyone up for some gummy worms?
JWoww: Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like a stretched-out meatball.
The Situation: [laughter]Did not Moe tell you that he's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies?
Ronnie: Good luck, this guy can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you mook.
Moe: Oh, you don't like that cheese.
Ronnie: No.
Moe: Well, let's see what we can do about that. [Moe picks up the cheese grater]
Ronnie: What are you doing?
Teddy: [watching Jersey Shore from his bedroom with Lydia]Oh boy, here we go.
Moe: [Moe rubs the cheese grater on Ronnie's foot]How about some aged cheddar, tough guy? Come on!
Ronnie: Ow! What, are you crazy? That's assault!
Moe: Here's your pepper. Shut up! [Moe slaps Ronnie]
The Situation: My man!
Moe: Who asked you, muscle-head! [Moe quickly finger-pokes The Situation's eyes]
Sammi: Moe, you just can't go around hitting people!
Moe: Oh, no? Well, can I do this? [Moe plucks Sammi's nasal hairs out of her nostril]
Sammi: Hmm, rare bouquet.
JWoww: Are you kidding me? Who does this?
The Situation: This is, like, my fourth or fifth.
Sammi: What happened last night?
The Situation: What kind of flavor? I like coffee, too.
Moe: Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven, anyone up for some gummy worms?
JWoww: Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like a stretched-out meatball.
The Situation: [laughter]Did not Moe tell you that he's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies?
Ronnie: Good luck, this guy can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you mook.
Moe: Oh, you don't like that cheese.
Ronnie: No.
Moe: Well, let's see what we can do about that. [Moe picks up the cheese grater]
Ronnie: What are you doing?
Teddy: [watching Jersey Shore from his bedroom with Lydia]Oh boy, here we go.
Moe: [Moe rubs the cheese grater on Ronnie's foot]How about some aged cheddar, tough guy? Come on!
Ronnie: Ow! What, are you crazy? That's assault!
Moe: Here's your pepper. Shut up! [Moe slaps Ronnie]
The Situation: My man!
Moe: Who asked you, muscle-head! [Moe quickly finger-pokes The Situation's eyes]
Sammi: Moe, you just can't go around hitting people!
Moe: Oh, no? Well, can I do this? [Moe plucks Sammi's nasal hairs out of her nostril]
Sammi: Hmm, rare bouquet.
JWoww: Are you kidding me? Who does this?
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: We'll climb mountains!
Moe: We'll forge rivers!
Curly: We'll forge checks, nyuk-nyuk-nyuk.
Moe: We'll forge rivers!
Curly: We'll forge checks, nyuk-nyuk-nyuk.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Moe: [the Stooges hitch a ride by hanging on to the rear bumper of Lydia's car, then they get off as they arrive at Teddy's mansion]Hey, do you smell garbage burning?
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: [the Stooges look down and see that their shoe soles have been worn down and smoking from dragging on the ground; they start rapidly stamping to put out the fumes]Nyah-ah-aah!
Lydia: [gasps]What are you doing here?
Moe: We want the dough-re-mi you owe us, lady.
Curly: Yeah, 830,000 bucks.
Larry: Plus meals.
Carbunkle: May I have a moment, ma'am?
Lydia: Excuse me, gentlemen. [Lydia goes aside to talk with Carbuncle]
Moe: Mind your P's and Q's.
Curly: But don't forget to dot the I's.
Moe: Certainly. [Moe finger-pokes Curly in the eyes; Larry chuckles, and puts his hand up sideways to block Moe's eye poke attempt]
Larry: Nyahhh. [Larry sticks his tongue out at Moe, who hits him on the forehead with his fist]
Larry: Ugh, ooh!
Carbunkle: [to Lydia]I'm afraid I have unfortunate news: I've just received word that Mr. Miosky was struck by a bus.
Lydia: Oh no, so Mac is dead?
Carbunkle: No.
Lydia: No? Are you sure?
Carbunkle: Oh, yes. He's still alive, but he's in bad shape. Your husband is in contact with the hospital. He said he'd call with any news.
Lydia: Thank you, Carbunkle. [Carbunkle goes back inside]
Larry: Come on blondie, pay up. A deal's a deal! [Lydia slaps all three Stooges with one stroke]
Lydia: Our deal was that you would get paid when my husband died, and on that count, you have failed miserably.
Moe: You mean he's still kicking?
Lydia: That's right, you idiots. You have ruined my life, now get out of here! [Lydia knocks all three Stooges over the wall and onto the outside l
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: [the Stooges look down and see that their shoe soles have been worn down and smoking from dragging on the ground; they start rapidly stamping to put out the fumes]Nyah-ah-aah!
Lydia: [gasps]What are you doing here?
Moe: We want the dough-re-mi you owe us, lady.
Curly: Yeah, 830,000 bucks.
Larry: Plus meals.
Carbunkle: May I have a moment, ma'am?
Lydia: Excuse me, gentlemen. [Lydia goes aside to talk with Carbuncle]
Moe: Mind your P's and Q's.
Curly: But don't forget to dot the I's.
Moe: Certainly. [Moe finger-pokes Curly in the eyes; Larry chuckles, and puts his hand up sideways to block Moe's eye poke attempt]
Larry: Nyahhh. [Larry sticks his tongue out at Moe, who hits him on the forehead with his fist]
Larry: Ugh, ooh!
Carbunkle: [to Lydia]I'm afraid I have unfortunate news: I've just received word that Mr. Miosky was struck by a bus.
Lydia: Oh no, so Mac is dead?
Carbunkle: No.
Lydia: No? Are you sure?
Carbunkle: Oh, yes. He's still alive, but he's in bad shape. Your husband is in contact with the hospital. He said he'd call with any news.
Lydia: Thank you, Carbunkle. [Carbunkle goes back inside]
Larry: Come on blondie, pay up. A deal's a deal! [Lydia slaps all three Stooges with one stroke]
Lydia: Our deal was that you would get paid when my husband died, and on that count, you have failed miserably.
Moe: You mean he's still kicking?
Lydia: That's right, you idiots. You have ruined my life, now get out of here! [Lydia knocks all three Stooges over the wall and onto the outside l
Movie: The Three Stooges
Mac: [Mac has a scratched face from his disastrous encounter with the zoo's lion]I don't get you, Lydia. Why would you throw a big anniversary party for Teddo? I thought we were trying to kill the guy!
Lydia: We are, I just want lots of witnesses for when that dope accidentally falls head first from that balcony.
Mac: Ohhh.
Mr. Harter: Well... you two are certainly looking rather cozy. [Mac and Lydia laugh]
Mr. Harter: Good lord Mac, what- what happened to your face?
Mac: New kitty.
Mr. Harter: Ah.
Mac: I'm gonna go freshen up my drink.
Lydia: We are, I just want lots of witnesses for when that dope accidentally falls head first from that balcony.
Mac: Ohhh.
Mr. Harter: Well... you two are certainly looking rather cozy. [Mac and Lydia laugh]
Mr. Harter: Good lord Mac, what- what happened to your face?
Mac: New kitty.
Mr. Harter: Ah.
Mac: I'm gonna go freshen up my drink.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Carbunkle: [checking the guest list]Madam... madam... Sir, madam.
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: [the Stooges ride up to Teddy's mansion on a skateboard towed by a pack of large, white poodles, the tow rope slips out Moe's hand, and they knock Carbuncle into a flower bed]Nyah-ah-aah!
Carbunkle: Oh no, whoa!
Curly: Ohh, ohh.
Moe: What happened? Now we got to...
Moe: [the Stooges dust themselves off by slapping the dirt off each other's backs; Moe turns around, and Larry accidentally slaps him in the face, Moe grunts]Urgh-urgh-urgh! What's the matter with you? You had the rudder, don't you know how to drive?
Larry: It just went out of control. What kind of poodles are those anyway?
Moe: Standard.
Larry: Well, there's your problem, I can't drive a standard. [Moe groans at the standard drive pun]
Carbunkle: You blithering idiots! What do you think you're doing?
Moe: Out of the way, Threepio, we got to get Teddy.
Carbunkle: [Carbunkle pushes the Stooges, who happen to be in a single-file line, back like dominoes]This is an invitation-only party! Now, good day!
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: [the Stooges ride up to Teddy's mansion on a skateboard towed by a pack of large, white poodles, the tow rope slips out Moe's hand, and they knock Carbuncle into a flower bed]Nyah-ah-aah!
Carbunkle: Oh no, whoa!
Curly: Ohh, ohh.
Moe: What happened? Now we got to...
Moe: [the Stooges dust themselves off by slapping the dirt off each other's backs; Moe turns around, and Larry accidentally slaps him in the face, Moe grunts]Urgh-urgh-urgh! What's the matter with you? You had the rudder, don't you know how to drive?
Larry: It just went out of control. What kind of poodles are those anyway?
Moe: Standard.
Larry: Well, there's your problem, I can't drive a standard. [Moe groans at the standard drive pun]
Carbunkle: You blithering idiots! What do you think you're doing?
Moe: Out of the way, Threepio, we got to get Teddy.
Carbunkle: [Carbunkle pushes the Stooges, who happen to be in a single-file line, back like dominoes]This is an invitation-only party! Now, good day!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Curly: Great, now what are we gonna do?
Maid: [to the party security guard]Here, send those balloon men in as soon as they get here.
Party Security: Will do.
Moe: [Moe snaps his fingers]That's our cue, boys. Come on!
Moe: [the Stooges carry several bunches of balloons]Balloon men coming through.
Larry: Out of our way, these things are heavy.
Moe: [the guard opens the gate; Moe hands him a balloon]There you go, crusher.
Maid: [to the party security guard]Here, send those balloon men in as soon as they get here.
Party Security: Will do.
Moe: [Moe snaps his fingers]That's our cue, boys. Come on!
Moe: [the Stooges carry several bunches of balloons]Balloon men coming through.
Larry: Out of our way, these things are heavy.
Moe: [the guard opens the gate; Moe hands him a balloon]There you go, crusher.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: Need some help, folks, looking for our missing friend. $3.50 reward. dead or alive.
Curly: Here you are, pal; we're missing our pal.
Larry: Thank you, so - Hey, get over there and staple up the rest of those flyers on the pronto.
Curly: [Curly hums as he staples a couple of posters to some trees, then accidentally staples a poster into the back of a young man's head]Oh, oh.
Staple in Hat Guy: Thanks a lot, buddy! Now I got a hole in my head.
Larry: Hey, quit screwing with the public! [Larry slaps Curly]
Curly: Grr! Cut it out! Who do you think you are, huh?
Larry: Oh, I get it: when Moe slugs you, it's okay, but when Larry does it, it's not good enough!
Curly: No no no Larry, it's good enough. It's just that... you're not doing it right. When Moe hits me, it's just... I don't know better, you know?
Larry: Aah, you've got rocks in your head! i'm hitting you just the same.
Curly: No you're not, you do this: [Curly hits Larry on the chest and hits Larry's forehead]
Curly: And Moe does this, [Curly punches Larry in the stomach and bonks Larry on the nose]
Curly: And Moe doesn't do this, [Curly hits Larry's nose]
Curly: He does this. [Curly hits Larry's nose, making a honking sound ]
Curly: Nose honk, see/
Larry: Ah, you're right Come on, think! Where would we go if we was Moe?
Curly: Home!
Larry: Home.
Curly: Here you are, pal; we're missing our pal.
Larry: Thank you, so - Hey, get over there and staple up the rest of those flyers on the pronto.
Curly: [Curly hums as he staples a couple of posters to some trees, then accidentally staples a poster into the back of a young man's head]Oh, oh.
Staple in Hat Guy: Thanks a lot, buddy! Now I got a hole in my head.
Larry: Hey, quit screwing with the public! [Larry slaps Curly]
Curly: Grr! Cut it out! Who do you think you are, huh?
Larry: Oh, I get it: when Moe slugs you, it's okay, but when Larry does it, it's not good enough!
Curly: No no no Larry, it's good enough. It's just that... you're not doing it right. When Moe hits me, it's just... I don't know better, you know?
Larry: Aah, you've got rocks in your head! i'm hitting you just the same.
Curly: No you're not, you do this: [Curly hits Larry on the chest and hits Larry's forehead]
Curly: And Moe does this, [Curly punches Larry in the stomach and bonks Larry on the nose]
Curly: And Moe doesn't do this, [Curly hits Larry's nose]
Curly: He does this. [Curly hits Larry's nose, making a honking sound ]
Curly: Nose honk, see/
Larry: Ah, you're right Come on, think! Where would we go if we was Moe?
Curly: Home!
Larry: Home.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Mac: [after the Stooges have just agreed to Lydia's shady business proposal for $830,000]Thank you! Now, here's what we were thinking.
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: Yes?
Mac: I'd like you to sneak into our bedroom in the middle of the night and smother me while I'm sleeping.
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: Yes, yes?
Mac: But, do not turn on the lights.
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: No, no, no.
Moe: Wait a minute, why don't you want the lights on?
Mac: Well, I want it to be a surprise.
Moe: Oh, I get it. You don't want to see it coming, eh?
Mac: Bingo.
Larry: Hey look, it's the guy from that thing all the kids are talking about!
Larry: [Curly belly-bumps Mac into the path of a city bus; Mac gets knocked several blocks ahead where a street sweeper runs over him]Whoa, whoa! Help, help, help, help, help, help! Help, help, help...!
Moe: [a kid jumps on Mac with his pogo stick, bouncing on his stomach, then the arrow Larry shot from the bow lands in Mac's right thigh; Mac faints]That settles that.
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: [the Stooges take turns shaking each other's hands]Success, success, success. Success, success, suceess. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Lydia: [furiously]What did you do? That was not the plan!
Moe: What are you yakking about? He just said he didn't want to see it coming!
Larry: Hey, hey, you look like you could use a grief massage.
Lydia: Huh?
Larry: Let it go, let it go, try to live in the now.
Lydia: [Lydia frustrately pushes Larry away]Get off me!
Larry: [Lydia gets into her car and drives away]Too soon?
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: Yes?
Mac: I'd like you to sneak into our bedroom in the middle of the night and smother me while I'm sleeping.
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: Yes, yes?
Mac: But, do not turn on the lights.
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: No, no, no.
Moe: Wait a minute, why don't you want the lights on?
Mac: Well, I want it to be a surprise.
Moe: Oh, I get it. You don't want to see it coming, eh?
Mac: Bingo.
Larry: Hey look, it's the guy from that thing all the kids are talking about!
Larry: [Curly belly-bumps Mac into the path of a city bus; Mac gets knocked several blocks ahead where a street sweeper runs over him]Whoa, whoa! Help, help, help, help, help, help! Help, help, help...!
Moe: [a kid jumps on Mac with his pogo stick, bouncing on his stomach, then the arrow Larry shot from the bow lands in Mac's right thigh; Mac faints]That settles that.
Moe ,
Larry ,
Curly: [the Stooges take turns shaking each other's hands]Success, success, success. Success, success, suceess. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Lydia: [furiously]What did you do? That was not the plan!
Moe: What are you yakking about? He just said he didn't want to see it coming!
Larry: Hey, hey, you look like you could use a grief massage.
Lydia: Huh?
Larry: Let it go, let it go, try to live in the now.
Lydia: [Lydia frustrately pushes Larry away]Get off me!
Larry: [Lydia gets into her car and drives away]Too soon?
Movie: The Three Stooges
Curly: [Curly, Larry, and Peezer enter a room, where Murph is on a sick bed, and Mother Superior is praying at her bedside]Murph?
Mother Superior: I'm sorry, boys, Murph is very ill.
Larry: Why isn't she in a hospital?
Mother Superior: [Peezer hops on Murph's bed]Well...
Sister Mary-Mengele: I'll tell you why: because we don't have any medical insurance.
Larry: Well, you should get some. Just call that little green alligator guy.
Curly: Yeah.
Sister Mary-Mengele: Okay, that's it. I've had it with you! Do you want to know why we have no medical insurance? It's because you wombats have caused so many accidents over the years, there's not a company on this earth who'll cover us until we pay the $830,000 we owe for previous claims, and that's why we're being closed down!
Mother Superior: That's enough, Sister.
Curly: Wait, wh - You mean the orphanage is closing... because of us?
Sister Mary-Mengele: [Mother Superior nods sadly]Check it out: Larry, Curly, you're responsible for that!
Sister Mary-Mengele: [Larry and Curly look at Murph lying on her sickbed, with Peezer at her side]You are, and that other moron!
Sister Mary-Mengele: [a beep is heard, Larry and Curly think it's a flatline monitor]Oh, sorry, excuse me.
Sister Mary-Mengele: [the beep is revealed to be Mary-Mengele's cell phone, which she answers]Yes? No, no, I want it with custard, not whipped cream. I ordered an Úclair, not a Twinkie!
Mother Superior: I'm sorry, boys, Murph is very ill.
Larry: Why isn't she in a hospital?
Mother Superior: [Peezer hops on Murph's bed]Well...
Sister Mary-Mengele: I'll tell you why: because we don't have any medical insurance.
Larry: Well, you should get some. Just call that little green alligator guy.
Curly: Yeah.
Sister Mary-Mengele: Okay, that's it. I've had it with you! Do you want to know why we have no medical insurance? It's because you wombats have caused so many accidents over the years, there's not a company on this earth who'll cover us until we pay the $830,000 we owe for previous claims, and that's why we're being closed down!
Mother Superior: That's enough, Sister.
Curly: Wait, wh - You mean the orphanage is closing... because of us?
Sister Mary-Mengele: [Mother Superior nods sadly]Check it out: Larry, Curly, you're responsible for that!
Sister Mary-Mengele: [Larry and Curly look at Murph lying on her sickbed, with Peezer at her side]You are, and that other moron!
Sister Mary-Mengele: [a beep is heard, Larry and Curly think it's a flatline monitor]Oh, sorry, excuse me.
Sister Mary-Mengele: [the beep is revealed to be Mary-Mengele's cell phone, which she answers]Yes? No, no, I want it with custard, not whipped cream. I ordered an Úclair, not a Twinkie!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Ronnie: How's that Whynatte?
The Situation: This is, like, my fourth or fifth.
Sammi: What happened last night?
The Situation: What kind of flavor? I like coffee, too.
Moe: Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven, anyone up for some gummy worms?
JWoww: Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like a stretched-out meatball. [laughter]
The Situation: Did not Moe tell you that he's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies?
Ronnie: Good luck, this guy can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you mook.
Moe: Oh, you don't like that cheese.
Ronnie: No.
Moe: Well, let's see what we can do about that. [Moe picks up the cheese grater]
Ronnie: What are you doing?
Teddy: [watching Jersey Shore from his bedroom with Lydia]Oh boy, here we go.
Moe: [Moe rubs the cheese grater on Ronnie's foot]How about some aged cheddar, tough guy? Come on!
Ronnie: Ow! What, are you crazy? That's assault!
Moe: Here's your pepper, shut up! [Moe slaps Ronnie]
The Situation: My man!
Moe: [Moe finger-pokes The Situation in the eyes]Who asked you, muscle-head!
Sammi: Moe, you just can't go around hitting people!
Moe: Oh, no? Well, can I do this? [Moe plucks Sammi's nasal hairs out of her nostril]
Sammi: Ow!
Moe: Hmm, rare bouquet.
JWoww: Are you kidding me? Who does this?
The Situation: This is, like, my fourth or fifth.
Sammi: What happened last night?
The Situation: What kind of flavor? I like coffee, too.
Moe: Hey, I'm heading out to 7-Eleven, anyone up for some gummy worms?
JWoww: Yeah, maybe if they were soaked in vodka. By the way, why are you even on our show? You look like a stretched-out meatball. [laughter]
The Situation: Did not Moe tell you that he's using our little program as a launching pad to make a lot of paper to save homeless orphan babies?
Ronnie: Good luck, this guy can't even buy the right kind of grated cheese. I asked for Romano, not Parmesan, you mook.
Moe: Oh, you don't like that cheese.
Ronnie: No.
Moe: Well, let's see what we can do about that. [Moe picks up the cheese grater]
Ronnie: What are you doing?
Teddy: [watching Jersey Shore from his bedroom with Lydia]Oh boy, here we go.
Moe: [Moe rubs the cheese grater on Ronnie's foot]How about some aged cheddar, tough guy? Come on!
Ronnie: Ow! What, are you crazy? That's assault!
Moe: Here's your pepper, shut up! [Moe slaps Ronnie]
The Situation: My man!
Moe: [Moe finger-pokes The Situation in the eyes]Who asked you, muscle-head!
Sammi: Moe, you just can't go around hitting people!
Moe: Oh, no? Well, can I do this? [Moe plucks Sammi's nasal hairs out of her nostril]
Sammi: Ow!
Moe: Hmm, rare bouquet.
JWoww: Are you kidding me? Who does this?
Movie: The Three Stooges
Lydia: [with clenched teeth]Those three idiots are here.
Mac: The Kardashian girls? Where are they?
Lydia: No, the three bums! They crashed the party!
Mac: Oh God, we got to get them out of here before they ruin everything.
Mac: The Kardashian girls? Where are they?
Lydia: No, the three bums! They crashed the party!
Mac: Oh God, we got to get them out of here before they ruin everything.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Moe: [looking at the boarded-up orphanage]Well, we sure botched this one pretty good.
Larry: [with tears in his eyes]What else is new? I wonder what happened to Murph and Peeze and the rest of the gang.
Curly: [sniffles]I sure do miss those guys.
Curly: [distant laughter]Why, it's almost like I can hear the sweet childhood sounds of laughter and swimming and tennis.
Moe: [with tears]I know what you mean.
Moe: [Moe does a double-take reaction]Wait a minute! We didn't have swimming and tennis!
Curly: And we didn't have laughter!
Larry: Hey fellas, look! [One orphan boy releases a clay pigeon skeet-shooting target and says Pull! the other shoots it and says Yes!; the Stooges go off to investigate]
Larry: [with tears in his eyes]What else is new? I wonder what happened to Murph and Peeze and the rest of the gang.
Curly: [sniffles]I sure do miss those guys.
Curly: [distant laughter]Why, it's almost like I can hear the sweet childhood sounds of laughter and swimming and tennis.
Moe: [with tears]I know what you mean.
Moe: [Moe does a double-take reaction]Wait a minute! We didn't have swimming and tennis!
Curly: And we didn't have laughter!
Larry: Hey fellas, look! [One orphan boy releases a clay pigeon skeet-shooting target and says Pull! the other shoots it and says Yes!; the Stooges go off to investigate]
Movie: The Three Stooges
Curly: [Curly sees Sister Bernice in a swimsuit on lifeguard duty]Sister Bernice?
Moe: Nyah-aah!
Sister Mary-Mengele: [Two orphans are diving off the board into the pool; Sister Mary-Mengele blows her whistle]That's it! I told you one at a time on that board! You all just lost your diving privileges for the rest of the day! The party's over, you little water weasels!
Moe: What's going on here?
Sister Mary-Mengele: [Mary-Mengele sees the Stooges]Oh, crud.
Moe: Hiya, Sister.
Sister Mary-Mengele: [annoyed]Oh, hello, morons.
Moe: Nyah-aah!
Sister Mary-Mengele: [Two orphans are diving off the board into the pool; Sister Mary-Mengele blows her whistle]That's it! I told you one at a time on that board! You all just lost your diving privileges for the rest of the day! The party's over, you little water weasels!
Moe: What's going on here?
Sister Mary-Mengele: [Mary-Mengele sees the Stooges]Oh, crud.
Moe: Hiya, Sister.
Sister Mary-Mengele: [annoyed]Oh, hello, morons.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Murph: Hey! [Murph runs up to the Stooges with her fellow orphans]
Murph: Moe, Larry, Curly!
Moe: Hey, guys!
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: How are you guys? Hey, what's going on? Oh boy, did we miss you guys!
Murph: Welcome home, guys!
Larry: You look great, Murph!
Peezer: That's 'cause she's not sick any more!
Murph: Turns out I just had some form of metal poisoning.
Larry: Nobody listens to me; I told you there's too much iron in the water.
Murph: Moe, Larry, Curly!
Moe: Hey, guys!
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: How are you guys? Hey, what's going on? Oh boy, did we miss you guys!
Murph: Welcome home, guys!
Larry: You look great, Murph!
Peezer: That's 'cause she's not sick any more!
Murph: Turns out I just had some form of metal poisoning.
Larry: Nobody listens to me; I told you there's too much iron in the water.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: [Larry drinks from the fountain as if it were a dog dish]Ahh. You're up, pal.
Party Guest: No thanks... My, that's an interesting... haircut.
Larry: Ah, thanks, but it's not without some help. I have a great deal of product in there.
Larry: [Larry turns to Curly, who is drinking punch directly from the bowl]Hey! Where are your manners?
Larry: [Curly extends his pinky fingers and drinks from the punch bowl]Atta boy.
Larry: [Larry samples the dip with his finger]Hmm...
Curly: Ah, how's the dip?
Larry: Here, try it for yourself. [Larry feeds Curly some of the dip from his fingers]
Curly: Mmm-mm!
Party Guest: No thanks... My, that's an interesting... haircut.
Larry: Ah, thanks, but it's not without some help. I have a great deal of product in there.
Larry: [Larry turns to Curly, who is drinking punch directly from the bowl]Hey! Where are your manners?
Larry: [Curly extends his pinky fingers and drinks from the punch bowl]Atta boy.
Larry: [Larry samples the dip with his finger]Hmm...
Curly: Ah, how's the dip?
Larry: Here, try it for yourself. [Larry feeds Curly some of the dip from his fingers]
Curly: Mmm-mm!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Moe: [Moe and Curly have just come from a hospital dressing room disguised as nurses; Larry is wearing a doctor's lab coat]That the best you can do? You're scaring the customers.
Curly: I'm sorry, I didn't bring my false eyelashes.
Larry: [Moe tears part of Larry's eyebrows from his forehead]Owww! Hey! What's the big idea?
Moe: Mind your business.
Curly: [Moe applies the eyebrows he tore off Larry's forehead to Curly's eyes]No, Moe - what are you - Ooh, ooh!
Moe: [Curly grunts as Moe affixes the eyebrows]Hold still. There you go, there.
Curly: Oh... [Curly chuckles]
Curly: Hmm, hmm.
Moe: Now go on over to that information desk and find out where the hubby's room is, hurry.
Larry: [Larry imitates a crooner by singing into the stethoscope]Buh-ba-ba-boo, buh-ba-ba-boo, buh-ba-ba-boo, ba-ba-ba...
Moe: Let me see that, ohh... [Moe hits the part of the stethoscope used for listening to heartbeats with a rubber doctor's mallet, Larry hears a loud, reverberating thud in the stethoscope's earpieces]
Larry: Owww!
Curly: [disguised as a nurse]Excuse me, dreamsicle, that patient that got hit with a bus, what room is he in?
Orderly: That would be 386.
Curly: Okay, thank you.
Orderly: [the orderly takes Curly's wrist]Say, I haven't noticed you around here before. I like curvy woman.
Curly: [Curly giggles, holding a hand fan]Oh, I bet you say that to all the gals.
Orderly: What do you say, me and you go out Saturday night, grab some falafel and couple of pops? Huh?
Curly: [Curly giggles]Why wait, when you can have a pop right now? [Curly slaps the orderly, leaving him with an amorous, love-smitten smile on his face]
Curly: I'm sorry, I didn't bring my false eyelashes.
Larry: [Moe tears part of Larry's eyebrows from his forehead]Owww! Hey! What's the big idea?
Moe: Mind your business.
Curly: [Moe applies the eyebrows he tore off Larry's forehead to Curly's eyes]No, Moe - what are you - Ooh, ooh!
Moe: [Curly grunts as Moe affixes the eyebrows]Hold still. There you go, there.
Curly: Oh... [Curly chuckles]
Curly: Hmm, hmm.
Moe: Now go on over to that information desk and find out where the hubby's room is, hurry.
Larry: [Larry imitates a crooner by singing into the stethoscope]Buh-ba-ba-boo, buh-ba-ba-boo, buh-ba-ba-boo, ba-ba-ba...
Moe: Let me see that, ohh... [Moe hits the part of the stethoscope used for listening to heartbeats with a rubber doctor's mallet, Larry hears a loud, reverberating thud in the stethoscope's earpieces]
Larry: Owww!
Curly: [disguised as a nurse]Excuse me, dreamsicle, that patient that got hit with a bus, what room is he in?
Orderly: That would be 386.
Curly: Okay, thank you.
Orderly: [the orderly takes Curly's wrist]Say, I haven't noticed you around here before. I like curvy woman.
Curly: [Curly giggles, holding a hand fan]Oh, I bet you say that to all the gals.
Orderly: What do you say, me and you go out Saturday night, grab some falafel and couple of pops? Huh?
Curly: [Curly giggles]Why wait, when you can have a pop right now? [Curly slaps the orderly, leaving him with an amorous, love-smitten smile on his face]
Movie: The Three Stooges
Larry: Look, Moe, we owe you an apology.
Moe: No, fellas, I'm the one who owes you the apology. I know sometimes I tend to fly off the handle and...
Larry: No, you don't.
Moe: Yes, I do.
Curly: No, it's just that you get a little upset and...
Moe: [Moe flicks Larry and Curly on their noses, and then he slaps Larry and Curly]Shut up when I'm apologizing!
Larry: We don't have time for that! Teddy's in a jam!
Curly: Yeah, you know that woman who wanted us to take out her husband? [Curly gasps and hisses]
Curly: She's married to Teddy!
Moe: No wonder she wanted us to smother him in his sleep!
Curly: Yeah.
Moe: I knew I smelled a...
Snooki ,
JWoww ,
Sammi: A rat! A rat! Eek!
Moe: [Moe picks up Nippy, Curly's pet rat]That's no rat, it's Nippy! How you doing, buddy? Aw, I missed you too, Nips.
Larry: Come on, we got work to do. We got to get to Teddy before his wife does.
Moe: Come on.
Curly: [Curly chuckles, and rhythmically snaps his fingers]Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Rrowff!
Moe: Come on, Romeo! [Moe pulls Curly out of the studio by his ear]
Moe's Hip Executive: Are you kidding me? There's three of them?
Moe: No, fellas, I'm the one who owes you the apology. I know sometimes I tend to fly off the handle and...
Larry: No, you don't.
Moe: Yes, I do.
Curly: No, it's just that you get a little upset and...
Moe: [Moe flicks Larry and Curly on their noses, and then he slaps Larry and Curly]Shut up when I'm apologizing!
Larry: We don't have time for that! Teddy's in a jam!
Curly: Yeah, you know that woman who wanted us to take out her husband? [Curly gasps and hisses]
Curly: She's married to Teddy!
Moe: No wonder she wanted us to smother him in his sleep!
Curly: Yeah.
Moe: I knew I smelled a...
Snooki ,
JWoww ,
Sammi: A rat! A rat! Eek!
Moe: [Moe picks up Nippy, Curly's pet rat]That's no rat, it's Nippy! How you doing, buddy? Aw, I missed you too, Nips.
Larry: Come on, we got work to do. We got to get to Teddy before his wife does.
Moe: Come on.
Curly: [Curly chuckles, and rhythmically snaps his fingers]Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk. Rrowff!
Moe: Come on, Romeo! [Moe pulls Curly out of the studio by his ear]
Moe's Hip Executive: Are you kidding me? There's three of them?
Movie: The Three Stooges
Teddy: [the Stooges, Teddy, Mac, Mr. Harter and Lydia are all passengers in Mr. Harter's car]I don't get it. Why did it have to come to this, Dad?
Mr. Harter: Well, son, I didn't get rich... simply by... lawyering. I married into it. Unfortunately, when your mom passed away, she left everything to you.
Mac: So you were just using me to do your dirty work?
Lydia: Oh, heh, you cracked the code.
Mr. Harter: Well, son, I didn't get rich... simply by... lawyering. I married into it. Unfortunately, when your mom passed away, she left everything to you.
Mac: So you were just using me to do your dirty work?
Lydia: Oh, heh, you cracked the code.
Movie: The Three Stooges
Mac: [Curly giggles and laughs ticklishly]What's so funny, butter-bean?
Curly: Nothing, Nippy's whiskers are tickling me.
Lydia: Who's Nippy?
Curly: Him. [Curly takes Nippy, the Stooges' pet rat, out of his coat; Mr. Harter and Lydia scream with terror]
Lydia: [Nippy gets stuck in Lydia's cleavage]Take it out!
Mac: [Mac makes a hard left turn; the Harters' car falls into a nearby lake, Lydia screams]Open the door! Shoot the window out!
Mr. Harter: [Mr. Harter pulls the gun out]No, it's wet!
Lydia: Why would you let the gun get wet? [the car's computerized navigation system says: When possible, make a legal U-turn. ]
Lydia: [Everyone gasps for air]How long will the air last?
Mr. Harter: Maybe... five minutes, if we stay calm.
Larry: Oh, we got to break a window.
Teddy: It's impossible: There's a thousand pounds of water pressing against that glass.
Mac: Great! Great! How could this possibly get any worse? [Bubbles occur near Curly as a result of indigestion; everyone groans at the stench]
Curly: I'm sorry, I guess the pesto-bismol didn't help with the lobster.
Moe: [angrily]Did you eat the shells again?
Curly: I don't know; it was on the plate, and then it wasn't.
Moe: Wait a minute! Does anyone have a lighter?
Larry: No... All I got are these stupid, easy-light, waterproof safety matches.
Moe: Why you... [Moe bonks Larry on the head]
Larry: Ow!
Moe: Gimme that! Everybody close your eyes! [Moe strikes a match on Curly's face]
Curly: Maybe that's not such a - [the explosion blows the car up, and everyone escapes to the lake's surface]
Curly: Nothing, Nippy's whiskers are tickling me.
Lydia: Who's Nippy?
Curly: Him. [Curly takes Nippy, the Stooges' pet rat, out of his coat; Mr. Harter and Lydia scream with terror]
Lydia: [Nippy gets stuck in Lydia's cleavage]Take it out!
Mac: [Mac makes a hard left turn; the Harters' car falls into a nearby lake, Lydia screams]Open the door! Shoot the window out!
Mr. Harter: [Mr. Harter pulls the gun out]No, it's wet!
Lydia: Why would you let the gun get wet? [the car's computerized navigation system says: When possible, make a legal U-turn. ]
Lydia: [Everyone gasps for air]How long will the air last?
Mr. Harter: Maybe... five minutes, if we stay calm.
Larry: Oh, we got to break a window.
Teddy: It's impossible: There's a thousand pounds of water pressing against that glass.
Mac: Great! Great! How could this possibly get any worse? [Bubbles occur near Curly as a result of indigestion; everyone groans at the stench]
Curly: I'm sorry, I guess the pesto-bismol didn't help with the lobster.
Moe: [angrily]Did you eat the shells again?
Curly: I don't know; it was on the plate, and then it wasn't.
Moe: Wait a minute! Does anyone have a lighter?
Larry: No... All I got are these stupid, easy-light, waterproof safety matches.
Moe: Why you... [Moe bonks Larry on the head]
Larry: Ow!
Moe: Gimme that! Everybody close your eyes! [Moe strikes a match on Curly's face]
Curly: Maybe that's not such a - [the explosion blows the car up, and everyone escapes to the lake's surface]
Movie: The Three Stooges
Dwight Howard: [playing basketball with a group of orphans]When you got nine teammmates, you got to pass it. You got to pass it!
Movie: The Three Stooges
Teddy: [Teddy walks in with Ling]Hey everybody!
Moe: Oh, hey Teddy!
Larry: Hi, Teddy!
Mother Superior: Gather round, everyone! I have an announcement to make. Teddy and his fianceÚ, Ling, have just discovered that our Lord and Savior has left her barren, so they have decided to adopt!
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: [the Stooges tear off their suits, with shorts, white shirts, and bowties underneath; they snap their fingers in rhythm]Hoi! Hoi! Hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi!
Moe: Spread out, pick me! I promise I'll go this time without any fuss!
Mother Superior: Oh, I'm sorry, boys, but they've already decided who they're adopting.
Teddy: [approaches Murph and Peezer]So how about it, Murph? Will you be a part of our family?
Murph: Are you serious, dude? Me? And you're not even getting paid? [Murph looks over at a sad Peezer]
Murph: Oh... I'm sorry, mister, your offer is very nice and all, but... I think you better pick someone else.
Peezer: It's okay, Murph... you should go. This is your big break.
Murph: [Murph hugs Peezer]Not a chance, kid, not without you.
Teddy: Well, I guess we'll just have to take all three of you.
Murph: What three? I was just talking about me and Peez.
Teddy: Well, yeah, of course, but there's also the kid that we just sprang from the foster home across town.
Weezer: [Sister Rosemary and Weezer appear]Peezer!
Peezer: Weezer! [the Stooges and orphans laugh joyfully, followed by the orphans screaming Yay!]
Mother Superior: Pack your bags, you three, it's time to go home. Three cheers for the boys. Hip-hip, hooray! [the orphans join in the cheer]
Sister Mary-Mengele: [mutters to herself]Oh, please.
Mother Superior: [with the orphans]Hip-hip, hooray! Hip-hip, hooray!
Moe: Gee, it sure feels good
Moe: Oh, hey Teddy!
Larry: Hi, Teddy!
Mother Superior: Gather round, everyone! I have an announcement to make. Teddy and his fianceÚ, Ling, have just discovered that our Lord and Savior has left her barren, so they have decided to adopt!
Moe ,
Curly ,
Larry: [the Stooges tear off their suits, with shorts, white shirts, and bowties underneath; they snap their fingers in rhythm]Hoi! Hoi! Hoi, hoi, hoi, hoi!
Moe: Spread out, pick me! I promise I'll go this time without any fuss!
Mother Superior: Oh, I'm sorry, boys, but they've already decided who they're adopting.
Teddy: [approaches Murph and Peezer]So how about it, Murph? Will you be a part of our family?
Murph: Are you serious, dude? Me? And you're not even getting paid? [Murph looks over at a sad Peezer]
Murph: Oh... I'm sorry, mister, your offer is very nice and all, but... I think you better pick someone else.
Peezer: It's okay, Murph... you should go. This is your big break.
Murph: [Murph hugs Peezer]Not a chance, kid, not without you.
Teddy: Well, I guess we'll just have to take all three of you.
Murph: What three? I was just talking about me and Peez.
Teddy: Well, yeah, of course, but there's also the kid that we just sprang from the foster home across town.
Weezer: [Sister Rosemary and Weezer appear]Peezer!
Peezer: Weezer! [the Stooges and orphans laugh joyfully, followed by the orphans screaming Yay!]
Mother Superior: Pack your bags, you three, it's time to go home. Three cheers for the boys. Hip-hip, hooray! [the orphans join in the cheer]
Sister Mary-Mengele: [mutters to herself]Oh, please.
Mother Superior: [with the orphans]Hip-hip, hooray! Hip-hip, hooray!
Moe: Gee, it sure feels good
Movie: The Three Stooges