The Venture Bros. Quotes
(Brock sneaks up behind #24 and #21 in the bathroom stall and puts a knife to Number 24's throat)
#21: Holy crap!
#24: Whatever it is we didn't do it!
Brock: I believe you. Stay here, don't do anything, you understand?
#24: Yes sir, yes I understand sir.
#21: Well on the upside, finally dropped one.
#24: Yeah, me too.
(Brock appears in the next bathroom stall and puts a knife to The Monarch's throat)
The Monarch: Hello, Brock. (clears throat) I was wondering when you would show up. I had nothing to do with this. Phantom Nimrod was showing off in front of my girlfriend, I told him.
Brock: Alright, stay out of this one.
The Monarch: No duh. He's in the next stall. Hey, how's that dickweed boss of yours?
Brock: Don't push it!
The Monarch: Mmmm... nice ass, Samson.
#21: Holy crap!
#24: Whatever it is we didn't do it!
Brock: I believe you. Stay here, don't do anything, you understand?
#24: Yes sir, yes I understand sir.
#21: Well on the upside, finally dropped one.
#24: Yeah, me too.
(Brock appears in the next bathroom stall and puts a knife to The Monarch's throat)
The Monarch: Hello, Brock. (clears throat) I was wondering when you would show up. I had nothing to do with this. Phantom Nimrod was showing off in front of my girlfriend, I told him.
Brock: Alright, stay out of this one.
The Monarch: No duh. He's in the next stall. Hey, how's that dickweed boss of yours?
Brock: Don't push it!
The Monarch: Mmmm... nice ass, Samson.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(After a dramatic pause, Brock and Phantom Limb shake hands)
Brock: Ha ha ha, for a minute there I thought you were gonna do your killer hand thing.
Phantom Limb: So did I.
Brock: Ha ha ha, for a minute there I thought you were gonna do your killer hand thing.
Phantom Limb: So did I.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Kim: I'm gonna be a supervillain.
Hank: Yeah, I'm gonna be Batman!
Venture Bros.: Go Team Venture! (They do hand signal in the air)
Triana Orpheus: Dude, I warned you.
Kim: I think I just found my first archenemies.
Hank: Yeah, I'm gonna be Batman!
Venture Bros.: Go Team Venture! (They do hand signal in the air)
Triana Orpheus: Dude, I warned you.
Kim: I think I just found my first archenemies.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: (about Billy's hand) How'd that happen anyway?
Master Billy Quizboy: That's an excellent question. I have no idea.
Master Billy Quizboy: That's an excellent question. I have no idea.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Master Billy Quizboy[After re-attaching Dr. Venture's arm]: Oh yeah, it's a musical. you never get to see anything! Well, you're good as new, Dr. Venture. Don't lift anything for a while or your arm might fall off.
Dr. Venture: Really?
Master Billy Quizboy: No, I'm joking. But seriously, don't lift anything for a while... because your arm could fall off.
Dr. Venture: Really?
Master Billy Quizboy: No, I'm joking. But seriously, don't lift anything for a while... because your arm could fall off.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
The Ventures crash land in Ünderland. Baron Ünderbheit captures them, obsessed with taking revenge on Dr. Venture, but mistakes Dean for a woman. Brock, Hank, and Dr. Venture are meanwhile rescued by Catclops and Girl Hitler's underground resistance group.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: Henry Alan Venture! Are you hearing this? What do you have to say for yourself?
Hank: (in a low voice) I am the Bat.
Dr. Venture: Yes, yes, you're "The Bat!" And the Bat is the reason we didn't take best costume, mister, again! Last year it was Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and "The Bat!" Oh and how about the time we were the hard rocking quartet of Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley, and the Bat?!
Hank: The night is mine!
Dr. Venture: Sell it somewhere else, Hank. It's not me you should be apologizing to. Poor Brock spent a month sewing his group theme appropriate costume.
Hank: (normal voice) That's probably why he won best costume.
Dr. Venture: What, is that sass I hear? (sarcastically) Oh, look everybody! Hank's back!
Hank: (in a low voice) I am the Bat.
Dr. Venture: Yes, yes, you're "The Bat!" And the Bat is the reason we didn't take best costume, mister, again! Last year it was Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Cowardly Lion and "The Bat!" Oh and how about the time we were the hard rocking quartet of Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Ace Frehley, and the Bat?!
Hank: The night is mine!
Dr. Venture: Sell it somewhere else, Hank. It's not me you should be apologizing to. Poor Brock spent a month sewing his group theme appropriate costume.
Hank: (normal voice) That's probably why he won best costume.
Dr. Venture: What, is that sass I hear? (sarcastically) Oh, look everybody! Hank's back!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank: Ow!
Dean: What's the matter?
Hank: My tongue keeps getting caught in the mouth slit.
Dean: Don't stick it in the slit then.
Hank: I can't help it! It's maddening.
Dean: What's the matter?
Hank: My tongue keeps getting caught in the mouth slit.
Dean: Don't stick it in the slit then.
Hank: I can't help it! It's maddening.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Manservant: He's here, your graciousness!
Baron Ünderbheit: Who?
Manservant: Dr. Venture, your...
Baron Ünderbheit: Say it again and it will be your last... time... saying his name.
Baron Ünderbheit: Who?
Manservant: Dr. Venture, your...
Baron Ünderbheit: Say it again and it will be your last... time... saying his name.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Baron Ünderbheit: Ooh, my sweet little Rusty, how many years have I longed for this moment? How many years has it been since... COLLEGE!?!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
{The X-1 is going down)
Hank Venture: (in the fetal position)I'm the bat I'm the bat I'm the bat I'm the bat...
Hank Venture: (in the fetal position)I'm the bat I'm the bat I'm the bat I'm the bat...
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dr. Venture: Lock down auxiliary power!
Brock: Gotta make it to the border!!
Dr. Venture: Chewie, lock down auxiliary power!
Brock: Gotta make it to the border!!
Dr. Venture: Chewie, lock down auxiliary power!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(The X-1 is crash landing)
Dr. Venture: Minefield, minefield!
Brock: I SEE IT!!
Dean Venture: Everybody into the black box! It's indestructible!
Dr. Venture: Minefield, minefield!
Brock: I SEE IT!!
Dean Venture: Everybody into the black box! It's indestructible!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(after the X-1 crashes)
Dr. Venture: Yeah, pretty sure my scoliosis is going the other way now.
Hank: My butt won't stop making a fist!
Dean: At least you have one.
Dr. Venture: You're blessed with your father's ass, Dean. Learn to love stadium cushions. I told you to lock down...
Brock: We don't have auxiliary power!!!
Dr. Venture: Yeah, pretty sure my scoliosis is going the other way now.
Hank: My butt won't stop making a fist!
Dean: At least you have one.
Dr. Venture: You're blessed with your father's ass, Dean. Learn to love stadium cushions. I told you to lock down...
Brock: We don't have auxiliary power!!!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(Brock Samson has just handed Doctor Venture a tooth containing arsenic)
Brock: Don't take all of it.
Doctor Venture: Or else what? I'll accidentally overdose on poison?
Brock: Don't take all of it.
Doctor Venture: Or else what? I'll accidentally overdose on poison?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank: Brock! Questioning?
Brock: That's the one.
Hank: (grabs the guard) WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR? (guard spins and locks Hank) Ow!
Brock: We know that part, Hank. Like this. (grabs guard's groin, guard screams in pain) Where's the wedding be held? Talk!
Ünderbheit Guard: Go ahead! The pain will be nothing compared to what the master will do to me if I betray him! (Brock clenches tighter, screams more) This is still nothing compared to what the master... (Brock appears shocked) What?
Brock: ...Nothin'.
Ünderbheit Guard: No, what?
Brock: I, uh... I don't- I don't know how to tell you this but I... feel a, uh... a lump.
Ünderbheit Guard: Are you serious?
Brock: Yeah... I'm so sorry, man.
Ünderbheit Guard: Oh. Oh god. Ooooh god.
Brock: Yeah, I just feel awful...
Ünderbheit Guard: How do you think I feel?
Brock: Yeah, yeah, maybe uh... we should uh...
Ünderbheit Guard: I... I must go to my wife.
Brock: Yeah, yeah. You should do that. (Venture points in the opposite direction) Hey, uh, I know it's a bad time to ask and all but...
Ünderbheit Guard: The wedding. Yeah. Yeah, fine. I don't care anymore. It's in the observatory, on a flight up, through this door. (Hank moves behind guard and gives him a wedgie)
Dr. Venture & Brock: HANK!!
Hank: Well I didn't get to do anything!!
Brock: That's the one.
Hank: (grabs the guard) WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR? (guard spins and locks Hank) Ow!
Brock: We know that part, Hank. Like this. (grabs guard's groin, guard screams in pain) Where's the wedding be held? Talk!
Ünderbheit Guard: Go ahead! The pain will be nothing compared to what the master will do to me if I betray him! (Brock clenches tighter, screams more) This is still nothing compared to what the master... (Brock appears shocked) What?
Brock: ...Nothin'.
Ünderbheit Guard: No, what?
Brock: I, uh... I don't- I don't know how to tell you this but I... feel a, uh... a lump.
Ünderbheit Guard: Are you serious?
Brock: Yeah... I'm so sorry, man.
Ünderbheit Guard: Oh. Oh god. Ooooh god.
Brock: Yeah, I just feel awful...
Ünderbheit Guard: How do you think I feel?
Brock: Yeah, yeah, maybe uh... we should uh...
Ünderbheit Guard: I... I must go to my wife.
Brock: Yeah, yeah. You should do that. (Venture points in the opposite direction) Hey, uh, I know it's a bad time to ask and all but...
Ünderbheit Guard: The wedding. Yeah. Yeah, fine. I don't care anymore. It's in the observatory, on a flight up, through this door. (Hank moves behind guard and gives him a wedgie)
Dr. Venture & Brock: HANK!!
Hank: Well I didn't get to do anything!!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(Team Venture has been brought to Baron Ünderbheit's laboratory under guard)
Baron Ünderbheit: What are they doing here? Put them in the holding cells while I decide how they are to die!
Manservant: We don't... we don't have holding cells, Your Thoughfulness.
Baron Ünderbheit: No holding...! Fine. Put them in... the pantry.
Baron Ünderbheit: What are they doing here? Put them in the holding cells while I decide how they are to die!
Manservant: We don't... we don't have holding cells, Your Thoughfulness.
Baron Ünderbheit: No holding...! Fine. Put them in... the pantry.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
(Dean already knows that Baron Ünderbheit has sent them to a holding cell)
Dean Venture: What have you done with Pop?!?
Baron Ünderbheit: Your father is resting comfortably in a makeshift holding cell, soon--
Dean Venture: What have you done with my brother?!?
Baron Ünderbheit: He, too, is being held in the--
Dean Venture: What have you done with our secret agent bodyguard?!?
Baron Ünderbheit: (frustrated) They're all in the same place, okay?!?
Dean Venture: What have you done with Pop?!?
Baron Ünderbheit: Your father is resting comfortably in a makeshift holding cell, soon--
Dean Venture: What have you done with my brother?!?
Baron Ünderbheit: He, too, is being held in the--
Dean Venture: What have you done with our secret agent bodyguard?!?
Baron Ünderbheit: (frustrated) They're all in the same place, okay?!?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Hank: I have a sister? Named Dawn?? How long have you been keeping this from me?
Brock: Hank, no. I-I think...
Hank: Don't defend him, Brock! You knew about this, didn't you? Does Dean? What else haven't you told us??
Doctor Venture: Brock, you speak crazy, do something about him.
Brock: Hank, Baron Ünderbheit...
Hank: Good gravy! You're right, Brock! This is just what he wants. For us to turn on each other. And I played right into their hands. Dammit!
Brock: Hank, no. I-I think...
Hank: Don't defend him, Brock! You knew about this, didn't you? Does Dean? What else haven't you told us??
Doctor Venture: Brock, you speak crazy, do something about him.
Brock: Hank, Baron Ünderbheit...
Hank: Good gravy! You're right, Brock! This is just what he wants. For us to turn on each other. And I played right into their hands. Dammit!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Resistance: (gasps) Who are you?
Hank: The Wallflower! So we meet again!!
Brock: Nah, nah, the Wallflower had that thing on his head...
Dr. Venture: Lamest. Villain. Ever.
Hank: The Wallflower! So we meet again!!
Brock: Nah, nah, the Wallflower had that thing on his head...
Dr. Venture: Lamest. Villain. Ever.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
[A eunuch is preparing to give Dean, believed to be a girl, a bath]
Eunuch: Please, I'm a eunuch. You think the Baron would allow another set of balls near his wife? And don't worry, honey, even when I had 'em, you've got nothing I'm interested in. [Pulls down Dean's Princess Leia loincloth] ROOSTER IN THE HEN HOUSE!!
[Dean and the eunuch both scream in very high-pitched voices]
Eunuch: I'm fixed, what's your excuse?
Eunuch: Please, I'm a eunuch. You think the Baron would allow another set of balls near his wife? And don't worry, honey, even when I had 'em, you've got nothing I'm interested in. [Pulls down Dean's Princess Leia loincloth] ROOSTER IN THE HEN HOUSE!!
[Dean and the eunuch both scream in very high-pitched voices]
Eunuch: I'm fixed, what's your excuse?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Resistance: You haven't come to rescue us? Then why did you bring the Bat person? And Chewbacca monkey?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Dean: I'm not a woman! I'm a boy science adventurer, like my father before me! (drops robes)
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Brock: Hank, no! It's suicide!
Hank: Well then I'll see you in Heck! (runs screaming down hall)
Dr. Venture: (sarcastically) Thank goodness, Hank's going to save us all. (glances at Brock) Oh, what are you so worried about? I can make another one. Hey, maybe he'll surprise us! He does get that kind of retard strength when he's all worked up.
Hank: Well then I'll see you in Heck! (runs screaming down hall)
Dr. Venture: (sarcastically) Thank goodness, Hank's going to save us all. (glances at Brock) Oh, what are you so worried about? I can make another one. Hey, maybe he'll surprise us! He does get that kind of retard strength when he's all worked up.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Catclops: You mess with the cat, you get the clops!
Girl Hitler: Yeah, und you mess with the girl, you get the Hitler!
Catclops: Marry me.
Girl Hitler: Yeah, und you mess with the girl, you get the Hitler!
Catclops: Marry me.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
When the Guild of Calamitous Intent finally approves Dr. Orpheus for his very own arch-nemesis he calls upon old friends The Alchemist and Jefferson Twilight to resurrect their former super-team, The Order of the Triad. While they audition supervillain candidates at the Venture Compound, a jealous Doc isn't about to let Orpheus steal the show. Let loose the Walking Eye!
Jefferson Twilight: Yes, I only hunt blaculas.
Guild Candidate: Oh, so you only hunt African-American vampires?
Twilight: No, sometimes I hunt British vampires. They don't have "African Americans" in England!
Candidate: Oh yeah, huh, good point.
Twilight: So I hunt blaculas.
Candidate: I was just trying to be...
Twilight: Man, I specialize in hunting black vampires, I don't know what the P.C. name for that is!
Jefferson Twilight: Yes, I only hunt blaculas.
Guild Candidate: Oh, so you only hunt African-American vampires?
Twilight: No, sometimes I hunt British vampires. They don't have "African Americans" in England!
Candidate: Oh yeah, huh, good point.
Twilight: So I hunt blaculas.
Candidate: I was just trying to be...
Twilight: Man, I specialize in hunting black vampires, I don't know what the P.C. name for that is!
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
Jefferson Twilight: On three we give him the old Rochambeau.
The Alchemist: Rock-paper-scissors?
Dr. Orpheus: What does a general from the American Revolution have to do with this?
Jefferson Twilight: American Revolution? Rochambeau sound...sounds French to me.
Dr. Orpheus: Well yes, the Franco-American forces.
Jefferson Twilight: They fought with spaghetti-o's and meatballs?
The Alchemist: Why would a company called Franco-American make Italian food?
The Alchemist: Rock-paper-scissors?
Dr. Orpheus: What does a general from the American Revolution have to do with this?
Jefferson Twilight: American Revolution? Rochambeau sound...sounds French to me.
Dr. Orpheus: Well yes, the Franco-American forces.
Jefferson Twilight: They fought with spaghetti-o's and meatballs?
The Alchemist: Why would a company called Franco-American make Italian food?
TV Show: The Venture Bros.
#24: Boooooo!!
#21: Ah! Dude, I was about to kill you! I have dangerous cat-like reflexes.
#24: Oh yeah, you were terrifying when you crapped your pants.
#21: Ah! Dude, I was about to kill you! I have dangerous cat-like reflexes.
#24: Oh yeah, you were terrifying when you crapped your pants.
TV Show: The Venture Bros.