The Wedding Ringer Quotes
[from trailer] Doug Harris: I want my real life to be as fun as the one I made up!
Movie: The Wedding Ringer
Jimmy: This is what you have to understand, Doug. Some people are just loners. It's that simple, man.
Doug Harris: Maybe I don't want to be. Maybe I just want someone to grab a beer with, to go on a cool guy trip with.
Jimmy: You've never been on a guy trip, Doug? Cabo, Cancun, spring break? You've never done anything like that?
Doug Harris: I never really had anyone to go with.
Doug Harris: Maybe I don't want to be. Maybe I just want someone to grab a beer with, to go on a cool guy trip with.
Jimmy: You've never been on a guy trip, Doug? Cabo, Cancun, spring break? You've never done anything like that?
Doug Harris: I never really had anyone to go with.
Movie: The Wedding Ringer
Jimmy: It doesn't mean that we're not going to have a good time, Doug.
Doug Harris: I said I got it. You're anybody's friend for a price, but nobody's when it counts.
Doug Harris: I said I got it. You're anybody's friend for a price, but nobody's when it counts.
Movie: The Wedding Ringer
[from trailer] Jimmy: Meet your groomsmen! [Doug looks at a bunch of strangers]
Doug Harris: These guys can not be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists!
Doug Harris: These guys can not be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists!
Movie: The Wedding Ringer
Hal Lane: And your first dance will be to what song?
Paige: To our song, You Are So Beautiful. That's by Joe Cocker.
Hal Lane: [sarcastically]Thanks.
Paige: [glances at Doug, who looks dissatisfied]What?
Doug Harris: That's not our song. That's not our song.
Paige: Honey, of course it is! Babe, don't you remember? Your broken CD player repeated it over and over and over the first time we made love?
Hal Lane: Aww.
Paige: So amazing.
Doug Harris: That wasn't... that wasn't me. That was your ex, Steve. And I know that 'cause you've told me the story about five times.
Paige: To our song, You Are So Beautiful. That's by Joe Cocker.
Hal Lane: [sarcastically]Thanks.
Paige: [glances at Doug, who looks dissatisfied]What?
Doug Harris: That's not our song. That's not our song.
Paige: Honey, of course it is! Babe, don't you remember? Your broken CD player repeated it over and over and over the first time we made love?
Hal Lane: Aww.
Paige: So amazing.
Doug Harris: That wasn't... that wasn't me. That was your ex, Steve. And I know that 'cause you've told me the story about five times.
Movie: The Wedding Ringer
[from trailer] Jimmy: I'm assuming you made up a name for me?
Doug Harris: Bic Mitchum.
Jimmy: Do I wear a cape? Hello, ladies, what's going on? My name is Bic. I'm Bic Mitchum and I love candy! Bic Mitchum can have whatever he wants!... I like it. [later on]
Paige: Don't you think it's a little strange that your best man's name is... Bic Mitchum?
Doug Harris: Bic Mitchum.
Jimmy: Do I wear a cape? Hello, ladies, what's going on? My name is Bic. I'm Bic Mitchum and I love candy! Bic Mitchum can have whatever he wants!... I like it. [later on]
Paige: Don't you think it's a little strange that your best man's name is... Bic Mitchum?
Movie: The Wedding Ringer
Bad Best Man: [walks on stage and starts beatboxing]Haha, just kidding, just kidding. The moment Chris asked me to be his best man, I sat down and I wrote a pretty awesome speech. But, I don't know, I think I'd rather speak from the heart. [rips paper in half]
Jimmy: Oh, don't do that. Don't you rip that paper up. You never do that.
Bad Best Man: Ah. You know, when Chris... Chris and I first met, we, um... uh, wha... Chris and I, um... have known each other since, uh... hah... Chris and I, you know, we, we did stuff together. [dry heaves]
Jimmy: He's gonna throw up on the fuckin' bride.
Bad Best Man: And, um, Chris has been like a brother to me. Well, I... because my real brother died. Well, he didn't die immediately...
Jimmy: No...
Bad Best Man: They revived him in the ambulance, then he died later. Hah... uh... Adolf Hitler once said...
Jimmy: Holy fucking shit.
Jimmy: Oh, don't do that. Don't you rip that paper up. You never do that.
Bad Best Man: Ah. You know, when Chris... Chris and I first met, we, um... uh, wha... Chris and I, um... have known each other since, uh... hah... Chris and I, you know, we, we did stuff together. [dry heaves]
Jimmy: He's gonna throw up on the fuckin' bride.
Bad Best Man: And, um, Chris has been like a brother to me. Well, I... because my real brother died. Well, he didn't die immediately...
Jimmy: No...
Bad Best Man: They revived him in the ambulance, then he died later. Hah... uh... Adolf Hitler once said...
Jimmy: Holy fucking shit.
Movie: The Wedding Ringer
[from trailer] Doug Harris: What exactly do you do?
Jimmy: I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.
Doug Harris: So, I'm not alone?
Jimmy: Alone? No! I run a very profitable business because of guys like you! How many weddings were in the US last year?
Doug Harris: 2.4 million!
Jimmy: That means 2.4 million grooms! You think each and everyone of them has someone as their best man?
Jimmy: I provide best man services for guys who lack in such areas.
Doug Harris: So, I'm not alone?
Jimmy: Alone? No! I run a very profitable business because of guys like you! How many weddings were in the US last year?
Doug Harris: 2.4 million!
Jimmy: That means 2.4 million grooms! You think each and everyone of them has someone as their best man?
Movie: The Wedding Ringer
[from trailer] Jimmy: You can hide a fat ass in baggy pants, but you cannot hide a bad dancer!
Doug Harris: You ask how a girl like Gretchen could fall for me? I took her dancing! [a dance off ensues]
Doug Harris: You ask how a girl like Gretchen could fall for me? I took her dancing! [a dance off ensues]
Movie: The Wedding Ringer
[from trailer] Jimmy: God created the world in seven days. We gotta do a whole lot more in a lot less time!
Movie: The Wedding Ringer