The West Wing Quotes
Josh Lyman: Leo, the-the Democrats aren't gonna nominate another liberal, academic former governor from New England. I mean, we're dumb, but we're not that dumb.
Leo McGarry: Nah-I think we're exactly that dumb.
Leo McGarry: Nah-I think we're exactly that dumb.
TV Show: The West Wing
Mandy Hampton: Mr. President, if you could also see your way clear to not answering that question like an economics professor with a big old stick up his butt, that would be good too.
President Josiah Bartlet: I am an economics professor with a big old stick up my butt, but I'll do my best for you, there, Mandy.
President Josiah Bartlet: I am an economics professor with a big old stick up my butt, but I'll do my best for you, there, Mandy.
TV Show: The West Wing
Oliver Babish: If I stay, will you do exactly what I tell you to do?
President Josiah Bartlet: I guess it depends.
Oliver Babish: I'm afraid it can't depend, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: [pauses and thinks] What would my first step be?
Oliver Babish: First tell your staff.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yeah.
Oliver Babish: Then, decide how to make a public announcement.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yeah.
Oliver Babish: Then, order the attorney general to appoint a special prosecutor. Not just any special prosecutor, the most blood-spitting, Bartlet-hating Republican in the Bar. He's gonna have an unlimited budget and a staff like an army. The new slogan around here is gonna be Bring it on! He's gonna have access to every piece of paper you ever touched. If you invoke executive privilege one time, I'm gone. An assistant D.A in Ducksworth wants to take your deposition, you're on the next plane. A freshman Congressman wants your testimony, you'll sit in his kitchen. They wanna drag you to The Hague and charge you with war crimes, what'll we say?
President Josiah Bartlet: Bring it on.
President Josiah Bartlet: I guess it depends.
Oliver Babish: I'm afraid it can't depend, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: [pauses and thinks] What would my first step be?
Oliver Babish: First tell your staff.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yeah.
Oliver Babish: Then, decide how to make a public announcement.
President Josiah Bartlet: Yeah.
Oliver Babish: Then, order the attorney general to appoint a special prosecutor. Not just any special prosecutor, the most blood-spitting, Bartlet-hating Republican in the Bar. He's gonna have an unlimited budget and a staff like an army. The new slogan around here is gonna be Bring it on! He's gonna have access to every piece of paper you ever touched. If you invoke executive privilege one time, I'm gone. An assistant D.A in Ducksworth wants to take your deposition, you're on the next plane. A freshman Congressman wants your testimony, you'll sit in his kitchen. They wanna drag you to The Hague and charge you with war crimes, what'll we say?
President Josiah Bartlet: Bring it on.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam Seaborn: Who's your boyfriend?
Mallory O'Brian: I don't think...
Sam Seaborn: What's his name?
Mallory O'Brian: His name is Richard Andrewchuk.
Sam Seaborn: There's a hockey player named Richard Andrewchuk.
Mallory O'Brian: Well, unless there are two of them.
Sam Seaborn: You're dating Richard Andrewchuk?
Mallory O'Brian: Yes, and we're having quite a lot of sex.
Sam Seaborn: I think you'd almost have to.
Mallory O'Brian: What does that mean?
Sam Seaborn: What the hell do you and Richard Andrewchuk talk about?
Mallory O'Brian: He happens to be a terribly bright guy.
Sam Seaborn: Well, good, because he's a *really* bad hockey player.
Mallory O'Brian: He's had injury problems this season.
Sam Seaborn: From falling down.
Mallory O'Brian: I don't think...
Sam Seaborn: What's his name?
Mallory O'Brian: His name is Richard Andrewchuk.
Sam Seaborn: There's a hockey player named Richard Andrewchuk.
Mallory O'Brian: Well, unless there are two of them.
Sam Seaborn: You're dating Richard Andrewchuk?
Mallory O'Brian: Yes, and we're having quite a lot of sex.
Sam Seaborn: I think you'd almost have to.
Mallory O'Brian: What does that mean?
Sam Seaborn: What the hell do you and Richard Andrewchuk talk about?
Mallory O'Brian: He happens to be a terribly bright guy.
Sam Seaborn: Well, good, because he's a *really* bad hockey player.
Mallory O'Brian: He's had injury problems this season.
Sam Seaborn: From falling down.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam Seaborn: There are lots of hungry people in the world, Mall, and none of them are hungry because we went to the moon. None of them are colder and certainly none of them are dumber because we went to the moon.
Mallory O'Brian: And we went to the moon. Do we really have to go to Mars?
Sam Seaborn: Yes.
Mallory O'Brian: Why?
Sam Seaborn: Because it's next. Because we came out of the cave, and we looked over the hill and we saw fire; and we crossed the ocean and we pioneered the west, and we took to the sky. The history of man is on a timeline of explorations and this is What's next.
Mallory O'Brian: And we went to the moon. Do we really have to go to Mars?
Sam Seaborn: Yes.
Mallory O'Brian: Why?
Sam Seaborn: Because it's next. Because we came out of the cave, and we looked over the hill and we saw fire; and we crossed the ocean and we pioneered the west, and we took to the sky. The history of man is on a timeline of explorations and this is What's next.
TV Show: The West Wing
Will Bailey: I heard once - I don't know if this is true - I heard once that you convinced the President to let you rewrite a section of the State of the Union with less than twenty-four hours to go. It was the second year and everybody was a Republican, whether they were or not, and people at the DNC had convinced him to include the line, 'The era of big government is over.' And you couldn't live with it. Because government should be a place where people come together and no one gets left behind. An instrument of good. And that's exactly what we heard in the State of the Union the next night.
Toby Ziegler: [scoffs] There were maybe four people in the room when I had that conversation.
Will Bailey: Well, if I'd have been one of them, I would have repeated it to everyone I met.
Toby Ziegler: [scoffs] There were maybe four people in the room when I had that conversation.
Will Bailey: Well, if I'd have been one of them, I would have repeated it to everyone I met.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: By the way, my Princeton Tigers could whip your Cal Bears any day of the week.
C.J.: At what?
Sam: Logarithms possibly.
C.J.: At what?
Sam: Logarithms possibly.
TV Show: The West Wing
Will: This speech is about creativity. In my judgment it's a home run. But what it isn't is a speech that will convince Zoey not to go to France tomorrow.
Bartlet: Well, let's write that one!
Bartlet: Well, let's write that one!
TV Show: The West Wing
Toby: Promise me something.
CJ: What?
Toby: You'll never let them make a list of my screw-ups. They wouldn't have enough paper.
CJ: What?
Toby: You'll never let them make a list of my screw-ups. They wouldn't have enough paper.
TV Show: The West Wing
Flight Attendant: Sir, I'm going to have to ask that you turn off your cellular phone.
Toby: We're flying in a Lockheed Eagle Series L-1011. Came off the line twenty months ago. Carries a Sim-5 transponder tracking system. And you're telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack?
Toby: We're flying in a Lockheed Eagle Series L-1011. Came off the line twenty months ago. Carries a Sim-5 transponder tracking system. And you're telling me I can still flummox this thing with something I bought at Radio Shack?
TV Show: The West Wing
C.J.: Is there anything I can say other than "The President rode his bicycle into a tree?"
Leo: He hopes never to do it again.
C.J.: Seriously, they're laughing pretty hard.
Leo: He rode his bicycle into a tree, C.J. What do you want me to – "The president, while riding a bicycle on his vacation in Jackson Hole, came to a sudden arboreal stop." What do you want from me?
C.J.: A little love, Leo.
Leo: He hopes never to do it again.
C.J.: Seriously, they're laughing pretty hard.
Leo: He rode his bicycle into a tree, C.J. What do you want me to – "The president, while riding a bicycle on his vacation in Jackson Hole, came to a sudden arboreal stop." What do you want from me?
C.J.: A little love, Leo.
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: So, now you have two choices - meeting with an unruly mob or meeting with lunatic mapmakers.
Toby: Or getting paid a lot more money working almost anywhere else I want.
Toby: Or getting paid a lot more money working almost anywhere else I want.
TV Show: The West Wing
Student: What do you call a society that has to just live every day with the idea that the pizza place you are eating in could just blow up without any warning?
Sam: Israel.
Sam: Israel.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sandy: Can you tell us right now if you'll be seeking a second term?
Bartlet: Yeah. And I'm gonna win.
Bartlet: Yeah. And I'm gonna win.
TV Show: The West Wing
Van Dyke: If our children can buy pornography on any street corner for five dollars, isn't that too high a price to pay for free speech?
Bartlet: No.
Van Dyke: Really?
Bartlet: On the other hand, I do think that five dollars is too high a price to pay for pornography.
C.J.: Why don’t we all sit down?
Bartlet: No. Let’s not, C.J. These people won’t be staying that long. May I have some coffee, Mr. Lewis? Al, how many times have I asked you to denounce the practices of a fringe group that calls itself The Lambs of God?
Caldwell: Sir, it’s not up to me to—
Bartlet: Crap. It is up to you, Al. You know, my wife, Abbey, she never wants me to do anything while I’m upset. [a staffer hands him coffee] Thank you, Mr. Lewis. Twenty-eight years ago, I come home from a very bad day at the State House. I tell Abbey I’m going out for a drive. I get in the station wagon and put it in reverse, and pull out of the garage full speed. [Leo and Sam appear in the doorway and quietly enter into the room.] Except I forgot to open the garage door. Abbey told me to not drive while I was upset and she was right. She was right yesterday when she told me not to get on that damn bicycle while I was upset, but I did it anyway, and I guess I was just about as angry as I’ve ever been in my life. It seems my granddaughter, Annie, had given an interview in one of the teen magazines. And somewhere between movie stars and makeup tips, she talked about her feelings on a woman’s right to choose. Now Annie, all of 12, has always been precocious, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders and I like it when she uses it. So I couldn’t understand it when her mother called me in tears yesterday. I said, "Elizabeth, what’s wrong?" She said, "It’s Annie." Now, I love my family and I’ve read my Bible from cover to cover. So I want you to tell me from what part of the Holy Scriptur
Bartlet: No.
Van Dyke: Really?
Bartlet: On the other hand, I do think that five dollars is too high a price to pay for pornography.
C.J.: Why don’t we all sit down?
Bartlet: No. Let’s not, C.J. These people won’t be staying that long. May I have some coffee, Mr. Lewis? Al, how many times have I asked you to denounce the practices of a fringe group that calls itself The Lambs of God?
Caldwell: Sir, it’s not up to me to—
Bartlet: Crap. It is up to you, Al. You know, my wife, Abbey, she never wants me to do anything while I’m upset. [a staffer hands him coffee] Thank you, Mr. Lewis. Twenty-eight years ago, I come home from a very bad day at the State House. I tell Abbey I’m going out for a drive. I get in the station wagon and put it in reverse, and pull out of the garage full speed. [Leo and Sam appear in the doorway and quietly enter into the room.] Except I forgot to open the garage door. Abbey told me to not drive while I was upset and she was right. She was right yesterday when she told me not to get on that damn bicycle while I was upset, but I did it anyway, and I guess I was just about as angry as I’ve ever been in my life. It seems my granddaughter, Annie, had given an interview in one of the teen magazines. And somewhere between movie stars and makeup tips, she talked about her feelings on a woman’s right to choose. Now Annie, all of 12, has always been precocious, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders and I like it when she uses it. So I couldn’t understand it when her mother called me in tears yesterday. I said, "Elizabeth, what’s wrong?" She said, "It’s Annie." Now, I love my family and I’ve read my Bible from cover to cover. So I want you to tell me from what part of the Holy Scriptur
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: [on the phone with the New York Times] 17 across. Yes, 17 across is wrong... You're spelling his name wrong... What's my name? My name doesn't matter. I am just an ordinary citizen who relies on the Times crossword for stimulation. And I'm telling you that I met the man twice. And I recommended a pre-emptive Exocet missile strike against his air force, so I think I know how...
C.J.: Leo.
Leo: They hang up on me every time.
C.J: That's almost hard to believe.
C.J.: Leo.
Leo: They hang up on me every time.
C.J: That's almost hard to believe.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: Ms. O'Brien, I understand your feelings, but please believe me when I tell you that I'm a nice guy having a bad day. I just found out the Times is publishing a poll that says a considerable portion of Americans feel the White House has lost energy and focus. A perception that's not likely to be altered by the video footage of the President riding his bicycle into a tree. As we speak, the Coast Guard is fishing Cubans out of the Atlantic Ocean while the Governor of Florida wants to blockade the Port of Miami. A good friend of mine's about to get fired for going on television and making sense, and it turns out I accidentally slept with a prostitute last night. Now would you please, in the name of compassion, tell me which one of those kids is my boss's daughter?
Mallory: That would be me.
Sam: You.
Mallory: Yes.
Sam: Leo's daughter's fourth-grade class.
Mallory: Yes.
Sam: Well, this is bad on so many levels.
Mallory: That would be me.
Sam: You.
Mallory: Yes.
Sam: Leo's daughter's fourth-grade class.
Mallory: Yes.
Sam: Well, this is bad on so many levels.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: About a week ago I accidentally slept with a prostitute.
Toby: Really?
Sam: Yes.
Toby: You accidentally slept with a prostitute.
Sam: Call girl.
Toby: Accidentally.
Sam: Yes.
Toby: I don't understand. Did you trip over something?
Toby: Really?
Sam: Yes.
Toby: You accidentally slept with a prostitute.
Sam: Call girl.
Toby: Accidentally.
Sam: Yes.
Toby: I don't understand. Did you trip over something?
TV Show: The West Wing
Toby: Mrs. Landingham, does the President have free time this morning?
Mrs. Landingham: The President has nothing but free time, Toby. Right now he's in the residence eating Cheerios and enjoying Regis and Kathie Lee. Should I get him for you?
Toby: Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham.
Mrs. Landingham: What age would that be, Toby?
Toby: Late twenties?
Mrs. Landingham: Atta boy.
Toby: Can I have a cookie?
Mrs. Landingham: No.
[Sam walks in]
Mrs. Landingham: Good morning, Sam.
Sam: Good morning.
Mrs. Landingham: Have a cookie, Sam.
Mrs. Landingham: The President has nothing but free time, Toby. Right now he's in the residence eating Cheerios and enjoying Regis and Kathie Lee. Should I get him for you?
Toby: Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham.
Mrs. Landingham: What age would that be, Toby?
Toby: Late twenties?
Mrs. Landingham: Atta boy.
Toby: Can I have a cookie?
Mrs. Landingham: No.
[Sam walks in]
Mrs. Landingham: Good morning, Sam.
Sam: Good morning.
Mrs. Landingham: Have a cookie, Sam.
TV Show: The West Wing
C.J.: Sir, this may be a good time to talk about your sense of humor.
Bartlet: I've got an intelligence briefing, a security briefing, and a 90-minute budget meeting all scheduled for the same 45 minutes. You sure this is a good time to talk about my sense of humor?
C.J.: No.
Bartlet: Me neither.
C.J.: It's just that it's not the first time that it's happened.
Bartlet: I know.
Toby: We're talking about Texas, sir.
Bartlet: I know.
C.J.: USA Today asks you why you don't spend more time campaigning in Texas and you say it's because you don't look good in funny hats.
Sam: It was big hats.
C.J.: What difference does it make?
Bartlet: It makes a difference.
C.J.: The point is we got whomped in Texas.
Josh: We got whomped in Texas twice.
C.J.: We got whomped in the primary and we got whomped in November.
Bartlet: I think I was there.
C.J.: And it was avoidable. Sir.
Bartlet: CJ, on your tombstone it's gonna read 'Post hoc ergo propter hoc.'
CJ: Okay, but none of my visitors are going to be able to understand my tombstone.
Bartlet: Twenty-seven lawyers in the room, anybody know 'post hoc, ergo propter hoc'? Josh?
Josh: Ah, post, after hoc, ergo, therefore... After hoc, therefore something else hoc.
Bartlet: Thank you. Next? Leo.
Leo: 'After it, therefore because of it'.
Bartlet: 'After it, therefore because of it'. It means one thing follows the other, therefore it was caused by the other. But it's not always true. In fact it's hardly ever true. We did not lose Texas because of the hat joke. Do you know when we lost Texas?
C.J.: When you learned to speak Latin?
Bartlet: Go figure.<
Bartlet: I've got an intelligence briefing, a security briefing, and a 90-minute budget meeting all scheduled for the same 45 minutes. You sure this is a good time to talk about my sense of humor?
C.J.: No.
Bartlet: Me neither.
C.J.: It's just that it's not the first time that it's happened.
Bartlet: I know.
Toby: We're talking about Texas, sir.
Bartlet: I know.
C.J.: USA Today asks you why you don't spend more time campaigning in Texas and you say it's because you don't look good in funny hats.
Sam: It was big hats.
C.J.: What difference does it make?
Bartlet: It makes a difference.
C.J.: The point is we got whomped in Texas.
Josh: We got whomped in Texas twice.
C.J.: We got whomped in the primary and we got whomped in November.
Bartlet: I think I was there.
C.J.: And it was avoidable. Sir.
Bartlet: CJ, on your tombstone it's gonna read 'Post hoc ergo propter hoc.'
CJ: Okay, but none of my visitors are going to be able to understand my tombstone.
Bartlet: Twenty-seven lawyers in the room, anybody know 'post hoc, ergo propter hoc'? Josh?
Josh: Ah, post, after hoc, ergo, therefore... After hoc, therefore something else hoc.
Bartlet: Thank you. Next? Leo.
Leo: 'After it, therefore because of it'.
Bartlet: 'After it, therefore because of it'. It means one thing follows the other, therefore it was caused by the other. But it's not always true. In fact it's hardly ever true. We did not lose Texas because of the hat joke. Do you know when we lost Texas?
C.J.: When you learned to speak Latin?
Bartlet: Go figure.<
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: I don't need a flu shot.
Morris: You do need a flu shot.
Bartlet: How do I know this isn't the start of a military coup?
Morris: Sir?
Bartlet: I want the Secret Service in here right away.
Morris: In the event of a military coup, sir, what makes you think the Secret Service is gonna be on your side?
Bartlet: Now that's a thought that's gonna fester.
Morris: You do need a flu shot.
Bartlet: How do I know this isn't the start of a military coup?
Morris: Sir?
Bartlet: I want the Secret Service in here right away.
Morris: In the event of a military coup, sir, what makes you think the Secret Service is gonna be on your side?
Bartlet: Now that's a thought that's gonna fester.
TV Show: The West Wing
Lloyd Russell: [referring to his Presidential run, speaking to Mandy, who just drove her car onto a curb] It wasn't going to happen.
Mandy: You know what the worst part about this is?
Lloyd Russell: Well, I think you dinged up your suspension pretty good.
Mandy: No, Lloyd, it's the party they're having, right now, in the West Wing, at my expense.
Lloyd Russell: They're not having a party in the West Wing.
Mandy: I've worked with these people for two and a half years. They like to win and they like to gloat.
Lloyd Russell: I'm sure you're wrong.
[scene cut]
Josh: Victory is mine, victory is mine. Great day in the morning, people, victory is mine.
Donna: Morning Josh.
Josh: I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land.
Donna: It's going to be an unbearable day.
Mandy: You know what the worst part about this is?
Lloyd Russell: Well, I think you dinged up your suspension pretty good.
Mandy: No, Lloyd, it's the party they're having, right now, in the West Wing, at my expense.
Lloyd Russell: They're not having a party in the West Wing.
Mandy: I've worked with these people for two and a half years. They like to win and they like to gloat.
Lloyd Russell: I'm sure you're wrong.
[scene cut]
Josh: Victory is mine, victory is mine. Great day in the morning, people, victory is mine.
Donna: Morning Josh.
Josh: I drink from the keg of glory, Donna. Bring me the finest muffins and bagels in all the land.
Donna: It's going to be an unbearable day.
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: A couple of things for you to bear in mind. First of all, he didn't know she was a call girl when he slept with her. He didn't pay her. He didn't participate in, have knowledge of, or witness anything illegal. Or for that matter, unethical, amoral, or suspect.
C.J.: Okay. A couple things for you to bear in mind. None of that matters on Hard Copy!
Josh: You're overreacting.
C.J.: Am I?
Josh: Yes.
C.J.: As women are prone to do.
Josh: That's not what I meant.
C.J.: That's always what you mean.
Josh: You know what, C.J., I really think I'm the best judge of what I mean, you paranoid Berkeley shiksafeminista! ...whoa, that was way too far.
C.J.: No, no. Well, I've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist Harvard fascist missed-the-deans-list-two-semesters-in-a-row Yankee jackass!
Josh: Feel better getting that off your chest there, C.J.?
C.J.: I'm a whole new woman.
Josh: You look like a million bucks, by the way.
C.J.: Don't try to make up with me.
C.J.: Okay. A couple things for you to bear in mind. None of that matters on Hard Copy!
Josh: You're overreacting.
C.J.: Am I?
Josh: Yes.
C.J.: As women are prone to do.
Josh: That's not what I meant.
C.J.: That's always what you mean.
Josh: You know what, C.J., I really think I'm the best judge of what I mean, you paranoid Berkeley shiksafeminista! ...whoa, that was way too far.
C.J.: No, no. Well, I've got a staff meeting to go to and so do you, you elitist Harvard fascist missed-the-deans-list-two-semesters-in-a-row Yankee jackass!
Josh: Feel better getting that off your chest there, C.J.?
C.J.: I'm a whole new woman.
Josh: You look like a million bucks, by the way.
C.J.: Don't try to make up with me.
TV Show: The West Wing
Sam: [reading a newspaper article, quoting a congressman] Folks down here are patriotic, fiercely patriotic. The President better not be planning on making any visits to this base. If he does, he may not get out alive.
Toby: He said that? Sitting there with military officers?
Josh: Don't take the bait.
Toby: Josh.
Josh: Don't take the bait!
Toby: You'd better believe I'm going to take the bait.
Leo: There ought to be a law against it.
Josh: Why'd you get him started?
[Leo shrugs]
Toby: There is a law against it! How about threatening the life of the President? He was talking to other people: how about conspiracy? They were military officers, how about treason? That was a member of our own party, Leo. That was a Democrat who said that!
Leo: It's bad, I know.
Toby: That's it?
Leo: What are you going to do?
Toby: Have the Justice Department bring him in pending felony charges.
Josh: Toby's right. What's the good of being in power if you're not going to haul your enemies in for questioning?
Toby: We're really not gonna do anything about this?
Leo: Yeah, cause what we really need to do is arrest people for being mean to the President.
Toby: There is no law. There is no decency.
Josh: He’s just getting that now.
Toby: He said that? Sitting there with military officers?
Josh: Don't take the bait.
Toby: Josh.
Josh: Don't take the bait!
Toby: You'd better believe I'm going to take the bait.
Leo: There ought to be a law against it.
Josh: Why'd you get him started?
[Leo shrugs]
Toby: There is a law against it! How about threatening the life of the President? He was talking to other people: how about conspiracy? They were military officers, how about treason? That was a member of our own party, Leo. That was a Democrat who said that!
Leo: It's bad, I know.
Toby: That's it?
Leo: What are you going to do?
Toby: Have the Justice Department bring him in pending felony charges.
Josh: Toby's right. What's the good of being in power if you're not going to haul your enemies in for questioning?
Toby: We're really not gonna do anything about this?
Leo: Yeah, cause what we really need to do is arrest people for being mean to the President.
Toby: There is no law. There is no decency.
Josh: He’s just getting that now.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: What's the virtue of the proportional response?
Admiral Fitzwallace: I'm sorry?
Bartlet: What is the virtue of a proportional response? Why's it good? They hit an airplane, so we hit a transmitter, right? That's a proportional response. They hit a barracks, so we hit two transmitters.
Admiral Fitzwallace: Yes, that's roughly it, sir.
Bartlet: This is what we do. I mean, this is what we do.
Leo: Yes sir, it's what we do. It's what we've always done.
Bartlet: Well, if it's what we do, if it's what we've always done, don't they know we're going to do it? I ask again, what is the virtue of a Proportional Response?
Admiral Fitzwallace: It isn't virtuous, Mr. President. It's all there is, sir.
Bartlet: It is not all there is.
Admiral Fitzwallace: Just what else is there?
Bartlet: The disproportional response. Let the word ring forth, from this time and this place, gentlemen, you kill an American, any American, we don't come back with a proportional response. We come back with total disaster! [He bangs the table]
General: Are you suggesting that we carpet-bombDamascus?
Bartlet: I am suggesting, General, that you, and Admiral Fitzwallace, and Secretary Hutchinson, and the rest of the National Security Team take the next sixty minutes and put together an American response scenario that doesn't make me think we're just docking somebody's damn allowance!
Admiral Fitzwallace: I'm sorry?
Bartlet: What is the virtue of a proportional response? Why's it good? They hit an airplane, so we hit a transmitter, right? That's a proportional response. They hit a barracks, so we hit two transmitters.
Admiral Fitzwallace: Yes, that's roughly it, sir.
Bartlet: This is what we do. I mean, this is what we do.
Leo: Yes sir, it's what we do. It's what we've always done.
Bartlet: Well, if it's what we do, if it's what we've always done, don't they know we're going to do it? I ask again, what is the virtue of a Proportional Response?
Admiral Fitzwallace: It isn't virtuous, Mr. President. It's all there is, sir.
Bartlet: It is not all there is.
Admiral Fitzwallace: Just what else is there?
Bartlet: The disproportional response. Let the word ring forth, from this time and this place, gentlemen, you kill an American, any American, we don't come back with a proportional response. We come back with total disaster! [He bangs the table]
General: Are you suggesting that we carpet-bombDamascus?
Bartlet: I am suggesting, General, that you, and Admiral Fitzwallace, and Secretary Hutchinson, and the rest of the National Security Team take the next sixty minutes and put together an American response scenario that doesn't make me think we're just docking somebody's damn allowance!
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: Did you know that two thousand years ago a Roman citizen could walk across the face of the known world free of the fear of molestation? He could walk across the Earth unharmed, cloaked only in the protection of the words civis Romanus -- I am a Roman citizen. So great was the retribution of Rome, universally certain, should any harm befall even one of its citizens. Where was Morris's protection, or anybody else on that airplane? Where was the retribution for the families, and where is the warning to the rest of the world that Americans shall walk this Earth unharmed, lest the clenched fist of the most mighty military force in the history of mankind comes crashing down on your house?! In other words, Leo, what the hell are we doing here?!
Leo: We are behaving the way a superpower ought to behave.
Bartlet: Well our behavior has produced some crappy results, in fact I'm not a hundred per cent sure it hasn't induced it.
Leo: What are you talking about?
Bartlet: I'm talking about two hundred and eighty-six American marines in Beirut, I'm talking about Somalia, I'm talking about Nairobi-
Leo: And you think ratcheting up the body count's gonna act as a deterrent?
Bartlet: You're damn right I-
Leo: Oh, then you are just as stupid as these guys who think capital punishment is going to be a deterrent for drug kingpins. As if drug kingpins didn't live their day to day lives under the possibility of execution, and their executions are a lot less dainty than ours and tend to take place without the bother and expense of due process. So, my friend, if you want to start using American military strength as the arm of the Lord, you can do that. We're the only superpower left. You can conquer the world, like Charlemagne! But you better be prepared to kill everyone. And you better start with me, because I will raise up an ar
Leo: We are behaving the way a superpower ought to behave.
Bartlet: Well our behavior has produced some crappy results, in fact I'm not a hundred per cent sure it hasn't induced it.
Leo: What are you talking about?
Bartlet: I'm talking about two hundred and eighty-six American marines in Beirut, I'm talking about Somalia, I'm talking about Nairobi-
Leo: And you think ratcheting up the body count's gonna act as a deterrent?
Bartlet: You're damn right I-
Leo: Oh, then you are just as stupid as these guys who think capital punishment is going to be a deterrent for drug kingpins. As if drug kingpins didn't live their day to day lives under the possibility of execution, and their executions are a lot less dainty than ours and tend to take place without the bother and expense of due process. So, my friend, if you want to start using American military strength as the arm of the Lord, you can do that. We're the only superpower left. You can conquer the world, like Charlemagne! But you better be prepared to kill everyone. And you better start with me, because I will raise up an ar
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: I have to tell you, he's ordinarily an extremely kind man, placing a very high premium on civility. Today...it's just been a very difficult few days for him.
Charlie: I think I should probably go.
[Bartlet comes in]
Bartlet: Excuse me, Charlie? Can I see you inside, please? Come on, it's okay.
[Charlie walks toward him hesitantly and Bartlet sticks out his hand]
Bartlet: I'm Jed Bartlet.
Charlie: I'm Charles Young, sir.
Bartlet: But you prefer Charlie, right? Listen, Leo McGarry filled me in on the situation with your mother. I'm so very sorry. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of calling Tom Connolly, the FBI Director, and we had the computer spit out some quick information. Your mother was killed by a Western .38 revolver firing KTWs, or what are known as cop-killer bullets. Now, we have not had a whole lot of success yet in banning that weapon and those bullets off the streets, but we're planning on taking a big whack at it when Congress comes back from recess. So, what do you say? You want to come help us out?
Charlie: [smiling] Yes, sir, I do.
Bartlet: Thank you, Charlie. [shakes his hand]
...
Charlie: I've never felt like this before.
Josh: It doesn't go away.
Charlie: I think I should probably go.
[Bartlet comes in]
Bartlet: Excuse me, Charlie? Can I see you inside, please? Come on, it's okay.
[Charlie walks toward him hesitantly and Bartlet sticks out his hand]
Bartlet: I'm Jed Bartlet.
Charlie: I'm Charles Young, sir.
Bartlet: But you prefer Charlie, right? Listen, Leo McGarry filled me in on the situation with your mother. I'm so very sorry. I hope you don't mind, but I took the liberty of calling Tom Connolly, the FBI Director, and we had the computer spit out some quick information. Your mother was killed by a Western .38 revolver firing KTWs, or what are known as cop-killer bullets. Now, we have not had a whole lot of success yet in banning that weapon and those bullets off the streets, but we're planning on taking a big whack at it when Congress comes back from recess. So, what do you say? You want to come help us out?
Charlie: [smiling] Yes, sir, I do.
Bartlet: Thank you, Charlie. [shakes his hand]
...
Charlie: I've never felt like this before.
Josh: It doesn't go away.
TV Show: The West Wing
Josh: Forgive my bluntness, and I say this with all due respect, Congressman, but vote yes, or you're not even going to be on the ballot two years from now.
Katzenmoyer: How do you figure?
Josh: You're going to lose in the primary.
Katzenmoyer: There's no Democrat running against me.
Josh: Sure there is.
Katzenmoyer: Who?
Josh: Whomever we pick.
Katzenmoyer: You're bluffing.
Josh: Okay.
Katzenmoyer: I'm in your own party!
Josh: Doesn't seem to be doing us much good now, does it?
Katzenmoyer: Against an incumbent Democrat. You'll go to the press and endorse a challenger?
Josh: No sir. We're going to do it in person. See, you won with fifty-two percent, but the President took your district with fifty-nine. And I think it's high time we come back and say thanks. Do you have any idea how much noise Air Force One makes when it lands in Eau Claire, Wisconsin? We're going to have a party, Congressman. You should come, it's gonna be great. And when the watermelon's done, right in town square, right in the band gazebo... You guys got a band gazebo?
Katzenmoyer: Josh...
Josh: Doesn't matter, we'll build one. Right in the band gazebo, that's where the President is going to drape his arm around the shoulder of some assistant DA we like. And you should have your camera with you. You should get a picture of that. 'Cause that's gonna be the moment you're finished in Democratic politics. President Bartlet's a good man. He's got a good heart. He doesn't hold a grudge. That's what he pays me for.
Katzenmoyer: How do you figure?
Josh: You're going to lose in the primary.
Katzenmoyer: There's no Democrat running against me.
Josh: Sure there is.
Katzenmoyer: Who?
Josh: Whomever we pick.
Katzenmoyer: You're bluffing.
Josh: Okay.
Katzenmoyer: I'm in your own party!
Josh: Doesn't seem to be doing us much good now, does it?
Katzenmoyer: Against an incumbent Democrat. You'll go to the press and endorse a challenger?
Josh: No sir. We're going to do it in person. See, you won with fifty-two percent, but the President took your district with fifty-nine. And I think it's high time we come back and say thanks. Do you have any idea how much noise Air Force One makes when it lands in Eau Claire, Wisconsin? We're going to have a party, Congressman. You should come, it's gonna be great. And when the watermelon's done, right in town square, right in the band gazebo... You guys got a band gazebo?
Katzenmoyer: Josh...
Josh: Doesn't matter, we'll build one. Right in the band gazebo, that's where the President is going to drape his arm around the shoulder of some assistant DA we like. And you should have your camera with you. You should get a picture of that. 'Cause that's gonna be the moment you're finished in Democratic politics. President Bartlet's a good man. He's got a good heart. He doesn't hold a grudge. That's what he pays me for.
TV Show: The West Wing
Bartlet: [on pain medication] What's going on here?
Sam: Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Mr. President. Merely a perception issue regarding Toby and the financial disclosure.
Bartlet: Well, I like to roll up my sleeves and, you know ... get involved.
C.J.: Mr. President. Did you by any chance take your back pills?
Bartlet: I don't mind telling you C.J. I was in a little pain there.
Leo: Which did you take, sir, the Vicodin or the Percocet?
Bartlet: I wasn't supposed to take 'em both?
C.J.: Okay, Mr. President, we're going to have someone take you back to bed.
Bartlet: No no no. Sit sit sit. One of you's got a problem, and I'm here to help. You guys are like family. You've always been there for me. You've always been loyal, honest, hard-working good people, and I love you all very much, and I don't say that often enough. [to Sam] So, tell me what the problem is, Toby.
Sam: I'm Sam, sir.
Bartlet: Sam, of course you are.
Toby: Sir, the situation basically is this. I arranged for a friend to testify to Commerce on Internet stocks, while simultaneously, but unrelated to that, bought a technology issue which, partly due to my friend's testimony, shot through the roof.
Bartlet: Toby. Toby, Toby, Toby. Toby's a nice name, don't you think?
Toby: Can we possibly do this meeting at another time?
Bartlet: No no no, I know my body. I know my muscles aren't, you know, but my mind is sharp. I can focus. I'm focused. You all know that about me. Here's what I think we ought to do. [beat] Was I just saying something?
Sam: Nothing you need to concern yourself with, Mr. President. Merely a perception issue regarding Toby and the financial disclosure.
Bartlet: Well, I like to roll up my sleeves and, you know ... get involved.
C.J.: Mr. President. Did you by any chance take your back pills?
Bartlet: I don't mind telling you C.J. I was in a little pain there.
Leo: Which did you take, sir, the Vicodin or the Percocet?
Bartlet: I wasn't supposed to take 'em both?
C.J.: Okay, Mr. President, we're going to have someone take you back to bed.
Bartlet: No no no. Sit sit sit. One of you's got a problem, and I'm here to help. You guys are like family. You've always been there for me. You've always been loyal, honest, hard-working good people, and I love you all very much, and I don't say that often enough. [to Sam] So, tell me what the problem is, Toby.
Sam: I'm Sam, sir.
Bartlet: Sam, of course you are.
Toby: Sir, the situation basically is this. I arranged for a friend to testify to Commerce on Internet stocks, while simultaneously, but unrelated to that, bought a technology issue which, partly due to my friend's testimony, shot through the roof.
Bartlet: Toby. Toby, Toby, Toby. Toby's a nice name, don't you think?
Toby: Can we possibly do this meeting at another time?
Bartlet: No no no, I know my body. I know my muscles aren't, you know, but my mind is sharp. I can focus. I'm focused. You all know that about me. Here's what I think we ought to do. [beat] Was I just saying something?
TV Show: The West Wing
Leo: There's two things in the world you never want to let people see how you make 'em: laws and sausages.
TV Show: The West Wing