Torchwood Quotes
Tosh: All I'm saying is that once in a while I'd like to drive.
Owen: Yeah, and all I'm saying is no.
Tosh: Why not?
Owen: Look I've shared cars with women before, I know what'll happen, there's an emergency, all raring to go, I jump in, what do I find? Seat's in the wrong position, rear view mirrors out of line, steering wheel's in my crotch. By time I've sorted all that out, aliens will've taken Newport!
Owen: Yeah, and all I'm saying is no.
Tosh: Why not?
Owen: Look I've shared cars with women before, I know what'll happen, there's an emergency, all raring to go, I jump in, what do I find? Seat's in the wrong position, rear view mirrors out of line, steering wheel's in my crotch. By time I've sorted all that out, aliens will've taken Newport!
TV Show: Torchwood
Gwen: What about a rota? Different people on different days?
Jack: We're a secret organization hunting alien technology from an underground base, and you want a rota for who drives.
Gwen: ...Just trying to help.
Jack: We're a secret organization hunting alien technology from an underground base, and you want a rota for who drives.
Gwen: ...Just trying to help.
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: I'm going back in to save her. Anybody tries to stop me, I'll shoot them.
Gwen: Ianto, put the gun down.
Jack: You make a threat like that, you better be prepared to follow it through. See? You disobey me now, I really will shoot you.
Ianto: Get off me.
Jack: You want to go back in there? You go in to finish the job. If she's still alive, you execute her.
Ianto: No way.
Jack: You brought this down on us. You hid her. You hid yourself from us. Now it's time for you to stand as part of a team.
Gwen: Jack.
Jack: The girl you loved has gone. Your loyalty is to us now.
Ianto: You can't order me to do that.
Jack: You execute her, to I'll execute you both.
Ianto: I won't do it. You can't make me. You like to think you're a hero, but you're the biggest monster of all.
Gwen: Ianto, put the gun down.
Jack: You make a threat like that, you better be prepared to follow it through. See? You disobey me now, I really will shoot you.
Ianto: Get off me.
Jack: You want to go back in there? You go in to finish the job. If she's still alive, you execute her.
Ianto: No way.
Jack: You brought this down on us. You hid her. You hid yourself from us. Now it's time for you to stand as part of a team.
Gwen: Jack.
Jack: The girl you loved has gone. Your loyalty is to us now.
Ianto: You can't order me to do that.
Jack: You execute her, to I'll execute you both.
Ianto: I won't do it. You can't make me. You like to think you're a hero, but you're the biggest monster of all.
TV Show: Torchwood
Gwen: What the hell was that?
Owen: What?
Gwen: Snoggin' me.
Owen: Last kiss for the condemned man.. Embarrassing given we haven't been killed.. What? It's not like I fancy you or anything!
Gwen: I was on top of you. I could feel your hard-on.
Owen: Yeah. Well. You didn't exactly struggle, did ya?
Owen: What?
Gwen: Snoggin' me.
Owen: Last kiss for the condemned man.. Embarrassing given we haven't been killed.. What? It's not like I fancy you or anything!
Gwen: I was on top of you. I could feel your hard-on.
Owen: Yeah. Well. You didn't exactly struggle, did ya?
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: I'm not giving up on her. I love her. Can you understand that, Jack? Haven't you ever loved anyone?
Jack: You need to figure out who's side you're on here, because if you don't know, you're not gonna make it out of this alive.
Jack: You need to figure out who's side you're on here, because if you don't know, you're not gonna make it out of this alive.
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: You could have saved her! You're worse than anything locked up down there. One day I'll have the chance to save you and I'll watch you suffer and die.
TV Show: Torchwood
Jack: You shouldn't be here.
Ianto: Neither should you.
Jack: What you got?
Ianto: Funny sort of weather patterns.
Ianto: Neither should you.
Jack: What you got?
Ianto: Funny sort of weather patterns.
TV Show: Torchwood
[talking about his former love, Estelle's, visions of fairies]
Jack: She calls them fairies; I don't.
Gwen: What do you call them?
Jack: Never really had a proper name.
Gwen: Why not?
Jack: Something from the dawn of time, how could you possibly put a name to that?
Gwen: Are we talking alien?
Jack: Worse.
Gwen: How come?
Jack: Because they're part of us. Part of our world, yet we know nothing about them. So we pretend to know what they look like. We see them as happy, we imagine they have tiny little wings and are bathed in moonlight.
Gwen: But they're not?
Jack: No. Think dangerous. Think something you can only half-see, like a glimpse, like something out of the corner of your eye. With a touch of myth, a touch of the spirit world, a touch of reality all jumbled together, old moments and memories that are frozen in amongst it. Like debris, spinning around a ring planet, tossing, turning, whirling... backwards and forwards through time.
Jack: She calls them fairies; I don't.
Gwen: What do you call them?
Jack: Never really had a proper name.
Gwen: Why not?
Jack: Something from the dawn of time, how could you possibly put a name to that?
Gwen: Are we talking alien?
Jack: Worse.
Gwen: How come?
Jack: Because they're part of us. Part of our world, yet we know nothing about them. So we pretend to know what they look like. We see them as happy, we imagine they have tiny little wings and are bathed in moonlight.
Gwen: But they're not?
Jack: No. Think dangerous. Think something you can only half-see, like a glimpse, like something out of the corner of your eye. With a touch of myth, a touch of the spirit world, a touch of reality all jumbled together, old moments and memories that are frozen in amongst it. Like debris, spinning around a ring planet, tossing, turning, whirling... backwards and forwards through time.
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: I blame it on magic mushrooms.
Jack: What you do in private is none of our business.
Jack: What you do in private is none of our business.
TV Show: Torchwood
Owen: I hate the countryside. It's dirty, it's unhygienic. And what is that smell?
Gwen: That would be grass.
Owen: It's disgusting.
Gwen: That would be grass.
Owen: It's disgusting.
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: You're used to this, aren't you? That facial expression you all share. When things get a bit, out of control. Like you enjoy it. Like you get a high from the danger.
Toshiko: You want me to apologise for that?
Ianto: Don't you ever wonder how long you can survive before you go mad, or get killed, or lose a loved one?
Toshiko: It's worth the risk, to protect people!
Ianto: And who protects us?!
Toshiko: God, I'm hungry.
Ianto: You should've had that cheeseburger.
Toshiko: Not that hungry.
Toshiko: You want me to apologise for that?
Ianto: Don't you ever wonder how long you can survive before you go mad, or get killed, or lose a loved one?
Toshiko: It's worth the risk, to protect people!
Ianto: And who protects us?!
Toshiko: God, I'm hungry.
Ianto: You should've had that cheeseburger.
Toshiko: Not that hungry.
TV Show: Torchwood
Owen: [while cleaning Gwen's shotgun wound] There's going to be a certain amount of residue, so just lie back and think of Torchwood.
TV Show: Torchwood
Toshiko: [Talking about a tent] Need any help getting it up Owen?
Owen: If I did, I wouldn't ask you.
Owen: If I did, I wouldn't ask you.
TV Show: Torchwood
Jack: Once, just once, I’d like to walk into one of these tents and find it’s a party, with food, and drink, and dancing; a girl crying in the corner.
TV Show: Torchwood
Owen: I started looking into devil worship and stuff from that era [the 1800s], see if there's anything about plucking out hearts, and would you believe it, there's nothing! They ate eyeballs, they drank blood, they had sex with animals, but they did not pluck out each others' hearts, because obviously, that would have been weird.
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: [Thinking] Can't imagine a time when this isn't everything. Pain so constant, like my stomach's full of rats. Feels like this is all I am now. There isn't an inch of me that doesn't hurt. [Out loud] I’m about to brew some of Jack’s industrial strength coffee. Would you like a cup?
Tosh: I’m … fine, thanks Ianto.
Tosh: I’m … fine, thanks Ianto.
TV Show: Torchwood
Owen: If it's someone we've pissed off that narrows it down to 4 or 5 million.
Jack: That's just the humans.
Jack: That's just the humans.
TV Show: Torchwood
Gwen: Wait a minute, I've taken retcon.
Jack: Then better stay away from sharp objects.
Jack: Then better stay away from sharp objects.
TV Show: Torchwood
Jack: Ianto, how many people have we given amnesia pills to?
Ianto: Two thousand and eight.
Owen: Hey, what if they all become psychotic?
Tosh: Do you have to sound so happy?
Owen: Yeah, I'm just saying, Mean Streets!
Ianto: Two thousand and eight.
Owen: Hey, what if they all become psychotic?
Tosh: Do you have to sound so happy?
Owen: Yeah, I'm just saying, Mean Streets!
TV Show: Torchwood
Owen: [re: the Resurrection Gauntlet.] You know, we never gave it a cool name.
Tosh: I thought we just called it "the Resurrection Gauntlet".
Owen: Cool name.
Ianto: What about... the Risen Mitten?
[Jack raises his eyebrows and Owen rolls his eyes despairingly.]
Ianto: I think it's catchy.
Tosh: I thought we just called it "the Resurrection Gauntlet".
Owen: Cool name.
Ianto: What about... the Risen Mitten?
[Jack raises his eyebrows and Owen rolls his eyes despairingly.]
Ianto: I think it's catchy.
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: [to Jack] If you're interested, I've still got that stopwatch.
Jack: So?
Ianto: Think about it, lots of things you can do with a stopwatch.
Jack: Oh yeah, I can think of a few.
Ianto: There's quite a list.
Jack: I'll send the others home early, see you in my office in ten.
Ianto: That's ten minutes... and counting.
[Jack starts to walk away]
Ianto: Oh, Jack? What do you want me to say on the death certificate?
Jack: Good question.
Ianto: She had quite a few deaths in the end.
Jack: I don't know. 'Death by Torchwood'.
Ianto: I'll put a lock on the door. Just in case she goes walking again.
Jack: Nah. No chance of that. The Resurrection days are over, thank God.
Ianto: Oh, I wouldn't be too sure. That's the thing about gloves, sir. They come in pairs.
Jack: So?
Ianto: Think about it, lots of things you can do with a stopwatch.
Jack: Oh yeah, I can think of a few.
Ianto: There's quite a list.
Jack: I'll send the others home early, see you in my office in ten.
Ianto: That's ten minutes... and counting.
[Jack starts to walk away]
Ianto: Oh, Jack? What do you want me to say on the death certificate?
Jack: Good question.
Ianto: She had quite a few deaths in the end.
Jack: I don't know. 'Death by Torchwood'.
Ianto: I'll put a lock on the door. Just in case she goes walking again.
Jack: Nah. No chance of that. The Resurrection days are over, thank God.
Ianto: Oh, I wouldn't be too sure. That's the thing about gloves, sir. They come in pairs.
TV Show: Torchwood
Eugene: [Opening narration] The speed of light is 299,792,458 metres per second. Pain travels through the body at 350 feet per second. Even a sneeze can reach a hundred miles per hour. And as for life? Well... that just bloody whizzes by.
TV Show: Torchwood
Gwen: What was [Eugene] doing out on that road?
Owen: Oh fuck knows. Categorising chevrons? He was a geek.
Owen: Oh fuck knows. Categorising chevrons? He was a geek.
TV Show: Torchwood
Gwen: I just feel... like there's something going on...
Owen: Marvellous. Thank you for that Disney moment.
Owen: Marvellous. Thank you for that Disney moment.
TV Show: Torchwood
Eugene: The average life is full of near misses and absolute hits. Of great love and small disasters. It's made up of banana milkshakes, loft insulation and random shoes. It's dead ordinary and truly, truly amazing. What you've got to realize is, it's all here, now. So breathe deep and swallow it whole. Because take it from me: life just whizzes by, and then, all of a sudden, it's—
TV Show: Torchwood
Ianto: [having been abandoned while explaining automatic doors] But of course bananas are so much more interesting.
TV Show: Torchwood